


By Blood and by Bleed

by AlibiRooms



Series: Possibility [1]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alice is a pot-stirrer, Bella and Edythe are dumbass lesbians, F/F, F/M, M/M, POC Bella, POV Female Character, POV Male Character, The vampires are less white-supremacy and look like people with skin tones, Twilight without racism, Vampires, Werewolves, a little less broody, characters are aged up, no toxic relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2019-09-14 01:55:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 99,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16903920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlibiRooms/pseuds/AlibiRooms
Summary: Twilight with lesbians! Twilight with realistic character interactions! POC Bella. No racist undertones. Werewolves? We'll see.Characters do not belong to me.





	1. That Girl

**Author's Note:**

> A better, more gay version of Twilight. Switches between Bella and Edythe's POV. Lesbians, werewolves, CARS, and a healthy dose of Jacob being a bro. This might feel like a word for word re-write for the first chapter, but things will change. We have indie rock concerts, Cullen family shenanigans, and a lot less of the angst from the original series.

            Charlie was waiting for me by baggage claim. We stumbled into the kind of embrace only two of the most awkward people can share. My father’s arms were at once familiar and alien to me.

            “It’s so good to see you, Bells,” he said gruffly into my hair. Belatedly, I realized he smelled exactly the same as the last time I had seen him. Like aftershave and cool, crisp morning air, like he had brought the chill indoors with him. I wondered if I should grab a jacket from my suitcase before leaving. “You look good. Tan. How’s Renée?”

            “She’s good. It’s good to see you, too,” I offered a smile, reminding myself that I couldn’t call him Charlie to his face – Mom’s orders.

            Only two suitcases had come with me from Arizona. The smaller one was everything I owned that would be suitable for Washington. Now, looking around the airport, I realized my heaviest jacket would look scanty. The larger case – nearly the entirety of my wardrobe – probably wouldn’t be unpacked for a while, probably not even the rest of the year. They both fit easily into the trunk of Charlie’s cruiser. The cruiser, I hadn’t missed. It was the reason I had saved up everything from my summer job to buy a new car. I refused to be driven around in something with red and blue flashing lights.

            It was raining outside, and much too cold for October. Go figure. I crossed my arms around my torso. Charlie spoke up as soon as we were on our way, strapped into the police car.

            “I found a good car for you. Cheap, too.”

            “What kind of car?” I asked, suspicious of the way he said “for you.”

            “Truck. Chevy.”

            “Where did you find it?” Green trees flashed by us, giving the illusion of speed. I was sure Charlie wasn’t going a mile over the speed limit.

            “Do you remember Billy Black down at La Push?” La Push, the Native American reservation on the coastline just outside of Forks. I remembered the place, but couldn’t put a face to the name.

            “Not really.”

            “He went fishing with us during the summer?”

            I grimaced, and Charlie chuckled. I had hated fishing, and all it took was one tantrum for Charlie to permanently end family fishing time, and my visits as a whole.

            “He’s in a wheelchair now,” he continued. “Can’t drive anymore, and he offered to sell it to me cheap.”

            “What year is it?” His expression tightened slightly, like he hoped I wouldn’t ask.

            “Well, he’s done a lot of work on the engine – it’s only a few years old, really.”

            I gave him a look, and he sighed.

            “He bought it in 1984, I think.”

            I bit my lip. “I don’t know anything about cars. I wouldn’t be able to fix it if something went wrong, and I saved up so much –“

            “Really, Bella, the thing runs fine. They don’t build them like that anymore.”

            _The Thing._ A promising nickname. I decided it couldn’t be that bad.

            “Okay. How much?”

            He glanced sideways at me. “I kind of already…bought it. For you. A homecoming gift.”

            He sounded hopeful, and the crushing guilt I had been waiting for suddenly made itself known.

            “You didn’t need to do that,” I said quietly.

            “I don’t mind,” was all he said, but awkwardness wasn’t the only thing I had inherited from him. He had never been comfortable expressing his emotions out loud.

            “That’s amazing, Ch- Dad. I really appreciate it.” I looked out the window as I stumbled over his name.

            “Well, now, you’re welcome,” he said gruffly.

            I sighed, tilting my head back. It was beautiful, I couldn’t deny it. Everything was green: the trees, their trunks covered with moss, branches hanging a canopy of scattered sunlight – not that there was much of that – on the fern-covered ground. I wasn’t expecting to have missed it.

            Eventually, we made it to Charlie’s. He lived in the same small, two bedroom house from my childhood – and from the early days of my parent’s shattered marriage. And there, parked on the street in front of the house that never changed was the car. Odd that the newest part of this picture would be the oldest one.

            Charlie watched as I got out of the cruiser to take a closer look. It was a faded red, with big, rounded fenders and a bulbous cab. It definitely looked its age, but in a good way. I rested my hand on the car – _my_ car.

            “Wow, Dad, I love it!” I said genuinely, unable to keep the grin off my face. No rides in the cruiser for me.

            “I’m glad you like it,” he said, embarrassed.

            We got my things upstairs in one trip. I got the west bedroom that faced the front yard and street. The room was familiar, like everything else. It had been mine since I was born. The wooden floor, light purple walls, peaked ceiling – they were all part of my childhood. My desk now held a secondhand computer, with a phone line stapled along to the nearest jack. Two things I would never use. The rocking chair from my baby days was still in the corner. I would have to share a bathroom with Charlie, but that probably wouldn’t be too bad.

            One of the best things about Charlie is he doesn’t hover. He left me to unpack and get settled, a feat that would have been altogether impossible for my mother. She was probably counting the seconds until it was an acceptable time to call me. It was nice to be alone; a relief to stare out the window at gray skies and misting rain and let a few tears escape. I felt a little bit numb, like I couldn’t believe I had actually done it.

            I hadn’t been here in so long. A younger, brasher me had put her foot down about summers in Forks back in the seventh grade. Charlie had visited me in Phoenix, instead. Things had been good enough for me, and then my mother had met Phil. A younger, lively baseball player. They had the kind of love you saw in movies, almost childish in its simplicity. And then, suddenly, she hadn’t needed me anymore. She had someone to take care of her. It had never _really_ been my job, I knew, but me and my mother were strange that way. I usually felt like the parent, more grounded and logical than she was. It was the reason she had left Forks in the first place – she couldn’t stand to be stifled.

            So I had stepped out, a self-imposed exile to Washington. Mom could travel with Phil, and I could spend my last year of high school with Charlie. Everyone was happy. Even me, to some extent. It felt nice to make a decision on my own. I was eighteen now – the custody agreement was over. I just needed a diploma.

            Forks High School had just three hundred and fifty-seven – now fifty eight – students; there were more than seven hundred people in my junior class alone back home. All of the kids here had grown up together. Hell, their _grandparents_ had been toddlers together. I would be the new girl from the big city, something to stare at and whisper about.

            I absolutely wouldn’t live up to the hype. I put some things away in the bathroom cabinet, my glum reflection observing me in the mirror. As Charlie said, I was tan. I had spent my last free week with Renée by the pool, getting sun while I could. I wasn’t a whole lot darker than usual, but there was a light brush of almost-freckles across my nose. My mother, half-Hawaiian, had given me her darker skin and thick, black hair. Mine wasn’t as curly as hers, but maybe the humidity would fix that, I thought bitterly. I also had her wide cheekbones and full lips. Charlie had passed down thick eyebrows and gray eyes, silvery in Phoenix and dull in Forks.

            I didn’t relate well to people my age. Maybe the truth was that I didn’t relate well to people, period. Even my mother, who I was closer to than anyone else on the planet, was never in harmony with me, never on exactly the same page. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain.

            But the cause didn’t matter. All that mattered was the effect. And tomorrow was only the beginning.

            I didn’t sleep well that night, even after I managed to calm myself down. The constant sound of the rain and wind across the roof wouldn’t fade into the background. I pulled the faded green quilt over my head, and later the pillow. The rain didn’t quiet until after midnight, and I finally fell asleep.

 

            Thick fog was all I could see from the window. I felt claustrophobic, and sleepy. If the sun never actually came up, I would have to start drinking coffee.

            Breakfast with Charlie was a quiet event. He wished me good luck at school, and I thanked him, knowing his hope was wasted. I resisted telling him I had no luck. After he left for work, I flipped through the news on my phone, suddenly desperate to remind myself that the rest of the world still existed. I even texted my mom, knowing she never had her cell on her.

            I didn’t want to be early for school but left anyway, lest I get lost in the identical maze of green-lined roads. The inside of my truck was like a warm embrace. It smelled good, like a well-loved leather jacket. A wet leather jacket. I had worn my thickest cardigan and a jacket, still shivering slightly. It would probably warm up, I tried to convince myself. The engine started quickly and loudly. It was bound to have a flaw.

            Finding the school wasn’t difficult; like most things, it was just off the highway. To its credit, it didn’t look like the prison-esque institution I went to in Phoenix. It was a collection of matching buildings, built with maroon brick. I could hardly see its size through the scattered greenery. It probably didn’t even have metal detectors.

            I parked in front of the building marked FRONT OFFICE. I would ask for directions on parking before getting myself a ticket, not that I couldn’t get that taken care of… I tore my thoughts away from using Charlie for evil and entered the humid little room at the front. The office was small; a waiting area with padded folding chairs, orange flecked carpet, notices and plaques cluttering walls. Plants grew everywhere, as though there wasn’t enough outside. I looked for a MOST PLANTS award, maybe, but nothing stood out. The red-haired woman wearing glasses looked up when I didn’t say anything, then did a double take.

            “Can I help you?”

            “I’m Bella Swan,” I informed her, and she nodded before I had finished. I was undoubtedly a source of gossip already. Chief Swan’s escaped daughter, come home at last.

            “Of course,” she dug through a pile of papers until she found what she was looking for. “I have your schedule right here, Isabella, and a map of the school.” I took the papers, not bothering to correct her use of my full name. She showed me my classes, and how to find them, and told me she hoped I would like it here in Forks. I gave her a smile and went back outside. People were starting to arrive. I ducked inside the cab of the Thing and started it. Student parking was any lot but this one. I looked at the map and tried to find the lot closest to my first class. I drove carefully, fully aware of the fact that my car would decimate any of these smaller, newer designs. Point two for Thing – cheap _and_ indestructible.

            One thing stood out to me about the faces milling around in the drizzle - everyone was white. Caucasian, Anglo-Saxon, Pacific Northwest white. Any hope I had of blending in dissolved into the fine mist that was fogging up my windshield.

            I stuffed everything in my backpack, making sure I had the map. _It won’t be that bad_ , I thought, sucking in a breath. It was just high school. Just two semesters.

            I pulled the hood of my cardigan up and pulled my hair forward. It was the best I could do short of wearing a paper bag over my head. I got to building three without incident, and followed two unisex black raincoats through the door. It was a small classroom. The two raincoats stopped to hang up their coats on an actual coatrack, something I hadn’t seen in real life before. I slid past the two people – girls, I could see now – and went up to the teacher. A balding man that just looked blankly at me until I said my name. That got his attention. He gawked at me, and of course I flushed up to my forehead. His response would probably tip off everyone else.

            Thankfully, he didn’t try to have a conversation. He just pointed me to an empty desk. It was in the back, thank God. People stared anyway. A girl sat next to me after a minute, but she didn’t say much. I could feel thirty pairs of eyes on me as I looked studiously down at the reading list I had been handed. Bronte, Shakespeare, Chaucer, Faulkner. I’d already read most of it, thanks to advanced placement in Phoenix. I wondered if my mom would send me a folder of old essays, or if she would count that as cheating. I would ask her when she inevitably called me later that day.

            When the bell rang, I realized I hadn’t listened to a word of the lecture. Hopefully he hadn’t said anything too important. I was two steps into the hall before a tall, skinny guy stopped me.

            “You’re Isabella Swan, aren’t you?” I looked up. He had Asian features, I noticed with interest and maybe even relief.

            “Bella,” I corrected. Everyone within a three foot radius turned to look at me. _On your way,_ I mentally begged.

            “Where’s your next class?” He gave off an overly helpful vibe. I checked my map.

            “Building six?”

            “I’m headed toward four, I could show you the way. If you want.” Definitely over-helpful. Then again, maybe I was just too quick to judge. “I’m Eric,” he added.

            I nodded and smiled, trying to look anywhere but the curious faces around us.

            The rain had picked up, and Eric pulled out an umbrella. He held it over me without getting in my personal space. It was considerate.

            “So, this is a lot different than Phoenix, huh?” He called over the wind.

            I decided to resign myself now to the fact that everyone already knew my business.

            “Very.”

            “Does it ever rain there?”

            “Three or four times a year.”

            “What’s that like?” He wondered aloud with a hint of sarcasm.

            “Sunny,” I smiled.

            “I can tell,” he said, looking down at me. “You’re tan.”

            “My mother’s part albino,” I joked.

            He smiled, but looked apprehensive. Looked like clouds and a sense of humor didn’t mix. He walked me to a building closer to the gym, all the way to the door.

            “Good luck,” he said as I grabbed the handle. “Maybe we’ll have another class together?”

            “Maybe. Thank you, Eric.” And I meant it. My thin jacket wasn’t exactly waterproof. I would have to buy an umbrella of my own.

            He waved and turned away. The rest of my morning passed in the same fashion. My Trig teacher, Mr. Varner, was the only one who made me stand in front of the class and introduce myself. I stuttered and blushed my way through my own name and tripped on the way to my seat.

            After Spanish, I started to recognize some faces. There was always someone braver than the rest who would introduce themselves and ask me the same questions. I tried to be diplomatic, but their interest was never curbed.

            I corrected people on my name about a thousand times. It had taken me years to become just Bella back in Phoenix. I had to start all over here.

            One girl sat next to me in both English and Spanish, and she walked with me to the cafeteria for lunch. She was my height, with straight brown hair that frizzed out just slightly. I couldn’t remember her name, so I just smiled and nodded along as she told me about the school.

            At lunch, she took me to sit with her friends at their table. It was lucky, because I was planning on skipping lunch altogether. I realized how hungry I was as soon as I smelled the crappy chicken nuggets and mashed potatoes. She introduced me to her friends, and they were all very nice, I hated to admit. They all seemed impressed by the fact that she had spoken to me first. The guy from English, Eric, waved at me from across the room. It was there, sitting in the middle of the lunchroom, that I first saw them.

            They sat in the corner. Five people that didn’t look at me. It was nice to finally look at someone without meeting a curious pair of eyes. They all had trays of food in front of them, but were too involved in conversation to be eating.

            There were two boys: one was big – muscled like a serious weight lifter, at least six five or taller. Clearly, he was eating better than most of the other guys in the lunchroom. Surely he was on the football team, if Forks High even had one. The one next to him was slimmer, but still tall, with light brown curls surrounding his head like a halo. He had more of a tan than anyone else I had seen, like he just transferred from somewhere much sunnier. The girl that sat next to the larger guy was stunningly pretty. Long, perfectly wavy blonde hair cascaded down her back, shimmering in the fluorescent light as she flipped it over her shoulder. The girl on the other side of halo-guy was tiny in comparison, with pale skin and dark hair, cut incredibly short and pinned with variously colored clips and barrettes. She looked right out of a 2000’s chick flick, and she owned it. The third girl seemed to be observing the conversation, watching the rest with a small smile. She was built like an athlete, and the arm she rested her chin on showed muscle from under the fabric of her shirt. Her hair was a russet brown, pulled over her far shoulder to show a strong chin and straight nose.

            Totally different, and yet, they were all very similar. They had varied skin tones and hair color, yet they seemed to glow. The way pregnant women do, or those people who work out and get facials. Like that, but ten times stronger. They also all had very dark eyes, and deep shadows underneath, as if they were all suffering from a sleepless night, or recovering from a broken nose.

            But that wasn’t why I couldn’t look away. I stared because their faces, so different, were all devastatingly, inhumanly beautiful. They were faces you never expected to see in a place like this. Maybe on a magazine, or painted by an old master as the face of an angel. It was hard to decide who was the most beautiful. Actually, it made me a little uneasy.

            They seemed to be in good spirits, laughing and talking over each other. It looked like a high-fashion shoot of people having a good time. It seemed normal – yet there was no way it could be.

            As I watched, the small pixie-like girl rose with her tray – all food untouched – and walked with a quick, graceful slope that belonged on a runway. She dumped her tray and glided through the back door. The rest continued talking without her.

            “Who are _they_?” I asked the girl from Spanish.

            She looked up to see who I meant, and suddenly the russet-haired girl looked at her. It was strange, as she had to turn her head almost ninety degrees. Like someone had called her name. She looked at my neighbor for a fraction of a second, then her eyes flickered to mine.

            I dropped my eyes at once. From the brief glance, her face had been cold, disinterested. Like someone _had_ called her name, and she had involuntarily looked up, having already decided not to answer.

            My neighbor giggled in embarrassment.

            “That’s Edythe and Emmett Cullen, and Rosalie and Jasper Hale. The one who left was Alice Cullen.” She spoke quietly, for once. I chanced a look at the girl again, who was looking at her tray and picking at a bagel. Her lips moved like she was talking, and the other three were listening.

            Weird names, I thought in passing.

            “Very…decent looking,” I commented. My neighbor – Jessica, I remembered with triumph – giggled harder.

            “Yes! They’re all together, though. Jasper and Alice. Emmett and Rosalie. _And_ they _live_ together,” she said with small-town condemnation. Maybe not small-town, I corrected myself. These people would cause talk in Phoenix, too.

            “They’re adopted,” cut in a voice from across the table. A girl from my first class. She leaned forward to speak at a lowered tone, like it was forbidden to speak on the others in a normal tone of voice. “They live with Dr. Cullen and his wife just outside of town.”

            “I was getting to that, Angela,” Jessica snapped, clearly wanting to break the scandal to me piece by piece.

            Angela rolled her eyes. “Lunch is almost over.”

            I noticed that people were starting to leave, including the four people in the corner. The Cullens.

            “Who’s the girl with reddish hair,” I asked, not really knowing why. Angela and Jessica both looked, and once again the girl glanced our way. This time she looked directly at me, and her face twitched ever so slightly. Like I had done something to annoy her. The moment passed so quickly I thought I had imagined it.

            “That’s Edythe,” Jessica said, speaking louder as the door shut behind the blonde one. “I would say she was nice, but that would be a lie.” Jessica’s scathing tone made me wonder if there had been some sort of drama there.

            Angela met my eye, and smirked. She had hair that was nearly as dark as mine, but shorter and thinner. Her glasses were big in a 70’s revival sort of way, and she wore dark red lipstick that looked nice against her pale skin.

            “Have they always lived in Forks?”

            “No,” Jessica said, picking up her tray. “They moved here a few years ago from Alaska.”

            I felt pity, and relief. Pity because they, as striking as they were, were also outsiders. Relief because I wasn’t the only newcomer, and by far the least interesting.

            As it turned out, Angela and I had biology together. We walked in companionable silence, and I decided I liked her. She sat at a black topped lab table, smiling at me apologetically. Assigned seats. Great. All of the tables were filled but one. Edythe Cullen sat alone, next to the only open seat. Her hair was immaculate, pulled over her shoulder again, almost red against her olive colored shirt.

            I walked over to introduce myself to my teacher. Just as I passed in front of her, she looked up at me, suddenly rigid. Like someone had just pulled her seat out from under her, but much less comical. The look on her face was absolutely hostile. And directed at me. I looked away quickly, shocked.

            I had been right about her eyes. They were black. It made no sense against her fair coloring. Mrs. Banner signed my slip and handed me a book. I liked her, as she didn’t make me introduce myself, but she had no choice about where to make me sit. I kept my eyes down as I approached the lab table, completely bewildered by her freakish expression.

            As soon as I sat, her posture changed completely. She shifted so she was sitting as far as possible from me, and her hand was clenched into a fist. I did my best to ignore her, trying and failing to focus on the lesson. Surely she would relax at some point, right?

Wrong. The moment the class ended, she gathered her things with eerie speed and left. Just left. I blinked, wondering to myself if that had really happened. She hadn’t said a word to me the entire period.

            “Isabella?” A voice asked.

            “Bella,” I ground out, before even looking up. Another boy, this one with a baby face and brown hair.

            “I’m Mike,” he said, unperturbed by my tone.

            “Hey,” I tried to sound normal, zipping my bag and standing up.

            “Do you need help finding your next class?”

            “Uh, sure,” I said, suddenly too preoccupied to focus. I handed him the map and let him do the work.

 

            I found myself thinking about it all day, even as Charlie and I drove to his favorite diner for dinner. I ordered a spinach salad, sipping a water.

            “Do you know the Cullen family?” I asked him, trying for nonchalant.

            “The Cullen family? Sure, Dr. Cullen’s a great man.”

            I looked down at my water. “They don’t seem to fit in very well at school.”

            Charlie surprised me by looking angry.

            “People in this town,” He muttered. “Dr. Cullen could probably work anywhere in the world, and make ten times the salary he does here. We’re lucky to have him – lucky his wife wanted to live in a small town. And I had my doubts about all those kids when they moved down here, with all these adopted teenagers, but they’ve never given me any trouble. People just want to talk because they’re newcomers.”

            His vehement approval troubled me. The whole situation was beginning to feel sort of hopeless. I decided to bear and grin it though, and if I shed a couple anguished tears that night before bed, Charlie didn’t have to know.

 

****************** 

 

            Blood, blood, blood. The endless thirst pounded through my head. I ran through the forests north of the Canadian border, unable to focus anything but getting to Tanya’s. Even out here, in a literal different country, all I could smell was that blood. The human girl, who should have been as insignificant as the rest.

            “FUCK!” I yelled into the trees. The sound echoed from each tree trunk, each snow drift. Half a mile away, a group of birds took flight in alarm, their hearts speeding up. I breathed in the cold air, trying to forget the smell of her blood.

            I was pissed off for so many reasons. One, I had very nearly blown my cover – our cover – over what, a good smell? It was easy to make fun of myself now, out here, easier to ignore the part of me that still wanted to go back there. Two, my sudden departure meant I wouldn’t get to play baseball. We had all taken bets – except Alice, of course – and I was on my way to getting Rosalie’s M3 for a month. And three. Three, I couldn’t hear her. I thought of lunch, when Jessica Stanley’s thoughts had drawn my attention, and the wall I hit struggling to find Bella Swan’s mind. It simply wasn’t there. I didn’t know which of these things pissed me off more.

            “A _month!”_ I yelled, knowing no one was listening. It hadn’t helped that when I told them what happened, after they realized how unhinged I was, Rosalie’s first thought was that I wouldn’t win the bet. Brat.

            I continued running, and it was nearly morning when I set foot on Tanya’s land.

            “It’s Edythe,” I yelled out, knowing they would hear me.

            _Edythe is here,_ Tanya thought warmly. Predictable. I crunched through the snow, slowing down now. I didn’t want to barge in on them, as I wasn’t sure Carlisle had called. The direction of their thoughts weren’t surprised, but I wanted to be respectful.

            A shaft of light appeared as the back door of their home was opened. Kate waved at me as I drew closer.

            “You look like hell,” She said, not unkindly. _I can’t believe it – Edythe Cullen ran away._

            I ignored both of her jabs. “Just the two of you?” I couldn’t hear anyone else but Tanya.

            _Everyone’s out hunting,_ Kate explained in her thoughts. _I’m surprised you didn’t come across them. Good for you, though, they might have thought you were a wild boar._

            That was the second mention of my appearance. I touched my hair, and laughed.

            “I ran for a day straight,” I defended myself, pulling a twig out of my hair.

            I heard Tanya’s thoughts take on the same tone as she came up behind her sister. “Halloween isn’t for a few weeks.”

            “I didn’t come here to be attacked,” I snapped,  stopping just outside the door.

            Tanya giggled, eyes looking me up and down. _Bedraggled vampire is a good look on you._

            I sighed. Maybe coming here had been a mistake. Tanya and her… _inclinations_ only ever bothered me when she was pestering me for attention. Which is why Carlisle, Esme and I had chosen to settle down in Washington, all those years ago. Not that I would say that to her face. I genuinely enjoyed their company, and her advances were lighthearted and teasing. I had to come to terms with the fact that people couldn’t control their thoughts. For the most part.

            A draft of heat wafted from the house, and my throat burned in a weak recreation of the day before. An old scent.

            I gave an exaggerated sniff. “I see you’ve had company. I hope I didn’t intrude.” It was no secret that Tara sometimes hooked up with humans, which was crazy to all of us. The smell reminded me that it had been nearly two weeks since my last meal.

            _She doesn’t want to talk about it,_ Kate thought sympathetically. Correctly.

            “Two days ago,” she said out loud, wrinkling her nose. “Takes the smell a while to fade, especially with the heating.”

            Tanya just winked at me, recalling a few images of her sex life that I really didn’t appreciate.

            “Come in, Eddie,” Kate said, stepping aside. I shook my head.

            “A hunt sounds like a good idea, I think. If either of you want to join…” Their eyes were a light topaz. I only asked to be polite, not thinking they would take me up on it. So, naturally, Tanya straightened up.

            “Sure thing.” _I’ll behave,_ she promised me. I rolled my eyes.

            “Let’s go. Dibs on lions.”

            She followed me into the snow, wearing only a light pink sundress. Her long legs were exposed in the ridiculous outfit, and her bare feet crunched in the snow next to me. I idly wondered if she had changed clothes when she heard me coming.

            Her strawberry blonde curls floated around her chin as she ran next to me, following me up into the mountains.

            _Unusually quiet,_ she noted, _I need the full story._

            Thankfully, she was also quiet as I took down a black bear, then another, and two deer. Its blood was warm, but tasted like sand next to my perfect memory of that _girl._ I threw the carcass down, making sure to rip out the throat so no one would find any identifying marks.

            Tanya tossed aside a deer, leaning back in the snow and observing me. The sun was fully up now, and I was growing tired of her burning curiosity.

            “Go ahead,” I sighed, falling back. I sank into the snow, the perfect cold of my body not melting it in the slightest.

            _Finally,_ she padded over to me, sitting in the snow near my head. The sky was a light blue, with clouds in the distance that promised more snow. She picked some leaves out of my hair.

_You’re supposed to run_ around _the trees. Not_ through _them._

I managed a small smile. That’s what I got for running with my hair down.

            “Carlisle said you had a close call.”

            I huffed, annoyed. I had amazing self-control, I _knew_ I did. And that girl had ruined everything. All my street cred, gone. Even Jasper had thought it, to himself. But I heard.

            “Kind of.”

            She leaned over me, regarding me curiously.

            “Have you ever –“ I thought about my words carefully. “Have you ever come across a scent that was…more powerful than the rest?” I knew Emmett had, and I knew how it had ended. Badly.

            Tanya frowned, shaking her head. “I don’t think so.”

            “Just thought I would ask. You’re pretty old.”

            She grinned at me. “Was it terrible?”

 “Excruciating.”          

            I looked at her when her next thought came through, but she spoke it aloud anyway.

            “Was it a boy?”

            “No…why?”

            I stood up at her next thought.

            “Seriously, Tanya. Do you ever let up?”

            She looked at me from her cross-legged position on the ground, unperturbed.

            “Why are you so mad?”

            “Because you’re making this about me and you. Or lack thereof.” I crossed my arms.

            She shrugged. “It was just a question – stay out of my head if you don’t like my thoughts.”

            I narrowed my eyes. “You’re loud.”

            “I’ve known you a long time,” she said petulantly. “And you haven’t shown an interest in _anyone._ It’s a sign, you know.”

            “Exactly,” I snapped. “I think I would know if I was gay after a century of existence.”

            Again she shrugged. I clenched my hands into fists.

            “You know, I’m suddenly feeling much better about going home.”

            “I’m sorry,” she said earnestly. “Don’t be angry with me.”

            I didn’t walk away, or kick snow at her, which she took as forgiveness.

            “Are you going to go back? You could stay here for a while, wait her out?”

            Her. That girl. Tanya was right. A year or so up here wouldn’t be so bad. Moose were pretty good. I thought of Carlisle, seeing on my face how bad things were. Hearing in his mind how he would have forgiven me anyway…if I had killed her. Esme felt the same way. Their unconditional love pulled at something in my frozen heart.

            “No,” I murmured. “I have to go back. I just needed to clear my head.”

            “Today?” _You just got here._

            “I’ll stay until the others get back,” I said. A few days away from that girl and her infuriating smell would be good for me. “It’s been so long.”

            She smiled, approving.

            We returned to the house, and I looked at my cell phone. Alice, of course, had seen my decision the moment I made it.

            _Love uuuuu <3 _She had texted, along with several pictures of her making stupid faces in the camera. I laughed in spite of myself.


	2. Hit hard, from the wrong direction

            Edythe Cullen didn’t come to school. I spent three days waiting with dread for her hostile gaze, her imagined fury at my simple existence. On the third day, I saw with relief that my lab table was still empty.

            Mike hung around in my periphery, doggedly friendly, and completely oblivious to my bad mood. It was snowing. _Snowing_. Charlie had fortuitously lent me a heavy, thick leather jacket that was warm and kept out the wetness of snow. Something that came in handy when I was put in the crosshairs as Mike used me as a human shield during a snowball fight with Eric, Angela, and Jessica. A snowball directly to the face – I would rather face a hundred Edythe Cullens than relive that experience.

            I sat and held my hands to my face, exhaling to warm my frozen cheeks, relieved I didn’t have to deal with _her_ today.

So I heard very clearly when the chair next to me moved. Fight or flight kicked in as I lowered my hands. I had never been very confrontational.

            “Hello,” said a husky, musical voice.

            I looked, against my will. She was sitting far from me still, at the edge of the table. But her face was composed. Her hair, wet from snow, was piled into a rust-colored bun on top of her head. Her face slightly dazzled me. How was it fair for someone so mean to be so pretty?

            “I didn’t have a chance to introduce myself last week. I’m Edythe.”

            I said nothing, nonplussed. Her smile faltered slightly.

            “You must be Bella Swan.”

            What a weirdo, I thought.

            “You know my name?”

            She nodded. “I think everyone knows your name.”

            “Right,” I narrowed my eyes. She was baiting me into a false sense of security. I knew it. “But you’re the only one who didn’t call me Isabella.”

            She cocked her head at me.

            Mrs. Banner started talking, directing my attention to the front of the class. I didn’t know how to feel, except relief that I wouldn’t have to do projects with someone who hated me. Unless she _did_ hate me.

            I gathered my things at the bell, and Mike was already making his way toward me. He stopped short as Edythe appeared, blocking my way. I jumped. It wasn’t threatening, exactly, but something in her posture was authoritative. Her height had been less obvious across the lunchroom.

Mike faltered. 

            “You don’t like the cold,” Edythe said, looking at me with curious eyes. It was different than everyone else’s questions, and I answered automatically.

            “No…how did you know?”

            “I saw you freak out when you got hit with a snowball.”

            I held back a startled laugh, and felt a blush coming on.

            “Why did you come here, then?” She stepped aside, giving me room to walk. I hurried past, because Mike, incredibly, looked like he was waiting for me. I gave him a small smile.

            She kept pace beside me, extremely graceful. I thought of an answer. _Why did you come here?_ She asked it oddly, demandingly.

            “It’s complicated,” I said lamely.

            She seemed disappointed with that answer, and when we were outside of the building she walked off without another word. I stood there and allowed snowflakes to fall into my hair, completely dazed.

            I had discovered that if I was quick enough to the Thing after gym, I could beat traffic and get home in a quick ten. Early enough to cook a good dinner. I liked cooking, especially for Charlie. It was easy and occupied my mind. Charlie praised me no matter what I made, used to take out and microwave dinners. The state of the kitchen when I arrived had been abysmal.

            I looked in my rear window, waiting for a chance to back out, and saw Edythe. She was leaning against a shiny Volvo, three cars down from me. Her hair was down now, flowing around her face in waves. We made eye contact, and I panicked, hitting the pedal and nearly totaling a Corolla in my haste.

I slammed on the brake, heart pounding. The car passed, and I cautiously pulled out again. I looked steadfastly forward, but could still see her wide smile in my periphery.

 

**********************

           

            When I opened my eyes the next morning, something was different. I ran to the window, expecting the light of a clear sky to have melted the snow. As if. Instead, I looked on in horror at the fresh layer of snow covering the yard. The road had iced over as well. I silently thought of all the ways I could die today, just by being a clumsy dumbass.

Charlie had already left, so I couldn’t play sick. I contemplated my options while eating a granola bar. I _could_ just stay home. Charlie probably wouldn’t even blame me – he knew exactly how I would feel about this.

But then, I kind of wanted to go. I didn’t even know why. There was Mike, and Jessica, and lovely, quiet, Angela to look forward to. They were kind of fun, even if they didn’t get my jokes and Mike looked at me like a piece of meat.

            In the end, I decided a day alone in the snow would give me cabin fever. Digging through the coat closet – I mean, really, who ever heard of a _coat closet –_ left me with a heavy dark brown coat, similar to the one I wore yesterday but heavier. It added a comforting weight to my shoulders. This was a coat that knew what it was doing in the snow.

            I skidded and slipped my way to the truck, cursing under my breath. Despite the warm outerwear, tennis shoes weren’t that good for ice. I drove to school very carefully, thinking about Mike again. He and Eric both seemed to have an unnatural preoccupation with me, taking turns walking me around, talking to me, offering invitations to various events. Obviously they were asking me out, but it still seemed crazy. I knew I looked the same as I had in Phoenix, and all the guys there had totally ignored me. Maybe here they all saw my clumsiness as endearing rather than pathetic, my sense of humor quirky instead of grating. Their friendship was welcome, sure.

The rest of it just made my skin crawl.

            I made it to school alive, which was already more than I had expected, but didn’t let out a breath until I was parked in my spot. Now I just had to make it inside.

Something silvery caught my eye as I climbed from the cab. I looked down at the front tire, where a thin web of chains circled the entirety of it. Charlie must have done it. I smiled to myself, touched by the gesture.

            In the middle of sending him a grateful text, I heard a very loud sound behind me. A high pitched screech tore through the parking lot. I turned around, curious, and my curiosity turned to blind panic.

            A dark blue van was skidding sideways on the ice. Directly toward me. It was going to hit my truck, I realized. It was going to hit _me_. I took a step back and – of course – my sneakered foot slipped out from under me. I fell to the ground painfully, still in the path of the van but powerless to do anything about it. I closed my eyes.

            Something hit me the next instant, very hard, but from the wrong direction. My body was pushed across the ice, about a foot. My back hit the Thing’s tire at the exact same second  an earsplitting crash reverberated around me. I opened my eyes, mouth wide in a silent scream. The van had wrapped itself around the front of my truck. There was only about a foot between me and the blue, crumpled metal.

            And in that space with me was Edythe Cullen.

            She was crouched over me, her hand embedded in the large dent. I couldn’t reconcile the two images because she was staring at me, with wide golden eyes. Gold? That wasn’t right… I stared at her, unable to say or do anything. She looked completely bewildered, and that pissed me off because she didn’t have the right to look like that – _I_ was the one who had almost died. I sat, cowering against the hub of my truck, and we stared at each other for one long second before the screaming began.

            Her mouth opened like she was going to say something, and then she was gone. She was simply there…and then not. I felt my brain sort of break right then, and _I_ screamed. Just one good, long scream. Then I stopped. People were there now, reaching for me, someone called 911, maybe.

            No one could get to me, and I didn’t trust myself to try to get to my feet. It took six EMTs and two teachers to shift the van far enough to pull me out. At some point, someone pulled my jacket off. It glistened with tiny pieces of broken glass.

            “No – that’s my dad’s jacket –“ no one listened, and I was put in a neck brace. Awesome. I had survived the wreck only to die of embarrassment.

             I scanned the faces around me, looking for one in particular. To make matters worse, Chief Swan arrived – flashing lights and all. He saw me being loaded onto the ambulance, and his face went pale.

            “Bella!” He yelled, running over.

            “Dad! Dad, I’m completely fine. They took your jacket though…”

“Are you okay? Did you hurt your head?”

            I managed to convince him I wasn’t in any immediate danger, and his face got a little less red. He gave me a swift kiss on the forehead – the feathery moustache tickled me. I felt like a child. Then he talked to the EMT while she pulled more glistening shards out of my hair, giving me more time to look at the parking lot from my higher vantage point.

            They were on the other side of the lot, I saw. Edythe and the rest of them looked on with polite curiosity. I gaped. It finally happened, I thought. I’m having a psychotic episode. This is what Forks does to people.

            They put me in a long room with lines of beds separated by pastel curtains. It was a surprisingly nice hospital. A lot _whiter_ than I would have guessed. A nurse left me with a pressure cuff and thermometer under my tongue. Since no one had pulled the curtain to give me some privacy, I ripped the neck brace off and threw it under the bed.

            A few minutes later, they brought in another stretcher. Of course, the person in the van. It was Tyler Crowley, who I recognized from lunch. His head was wrapped in a bloodstained bandage. I took the thermometer out of my mouth.

            “Are you okay?” I asked, stupidly. He shook his head.

            “Don’t worry about me. I’m so sorry, Bella. I thought I was going to _kill_ you.” His eyes brimmed with tears.

            “You missed,” I reassured him. “I’m quick like that.” Being the new kid wasn’t all bad – you could get away with the biggest lies.

            They wheeled me away to X-ray my head. No one would listen to me when I said I was fine. Fortunately, the X-ray said the same thing. The nurse told me I would have to talk to a doctor before I could leave, so I was trapped, forced to listen to Tyler apologize over and over. The poor guy was tormenting himself and I didn’t even have a scratch. My _car_ probably didn’t have a scratch.

            “Is she sleeping?” I opened my eyes, disbelieving. Edythe was there, in all of her otherworldly ease, not a hair out of place. Tyler’s eyes practically bugged out of his head. She gave him a scathing look and pulled the curtain.

            “What are you doing here?” I tried to sound intimidating. She cocked her head at me, hair swinging.

            “It’s all about who you know.” She smiled at me in a devious way. Then a man in a white coat rounded the corner, and I almost choked on my own spit. He was young for a doctor, blonde, and better looking than any other man I had ever seen. Like an old time movie star. He looked tired, though, and had dark circles under his eyes. His skin had that exact same odd look as Edythe – like his was lit from within. Jack-o-Lantern people. His surfer-boy tan was out of place under the fluorescent lights. It seemed to jump off of him.

            This must be the Dr. Cullen Charlie was so in love with.

            “Hello, Miss Swan.” His voice was deep and assuring. “How are you feeling?”

            “Late for class.”

            He looked up with a slight smile, and flipped on the light-board above my head.

            “Your X-rays look good. Does your head hurt?”

            “No,” I said, for the thousandth time. He had the barest hint of an accent, but I couldn’t place it. I jumped when he touched my head, fingers probing my skull gently.

            “Tender?”

            “You’re hands are cold,” I complained. Edythe smirked at me.

            “I think you’re good to go,” Dr. Cullen said after a moment of consulting his chart. “Your father is in the waiting room. He’s very worried.”

            “Actually,” Edythe said. “Most of the school is in the waiting room.”

            I groaned, and Dr. Cullen raised his eyebrows. “Would you like to stay?”

            “No,” I said again, hopping out of the bed. My socked foot slid on the linoleum and I stumbled. The Doctor caught me, looking concerned.

            “Take some Tylenol for the pain.”

            “There is no pain,” I told him firmly. I just wanted to go.

            “It sounds like you were extremely lucky,” He commented, stepping back and signing my chart. Edythe was still smirking at me, and sometimes a girl has just had enough.

            “Lucky Edythe happened to be standing next to me,” I said evenly, with a shrug. Dr. Cullen’s expression flickered slightly, then he looked back down at his clipboard. My intuition flickered; the doctor was in on it.

            “Come back if you have any dizziness or nausea.” With that, he moved on to Tyler’s bed.

            I glanced at Edythe as I put my shoes back on. She was looking at me with unbridled contempt, much like the first day of school. I didn’t want to let it show that she intimidated me in the slightest, so I gathered my bravado and straightened up.

            “Care to explain what happened?”

            “What do you mean?”

            “Look,” I glanced around to see if anyone was close by, stepping close. “All I know is that that van should have crushed me. Somehow, you were there, and you _stopped_ it. And for some reason, you didn’t get hurt. And for some reason, you don’t want anyone to know.”

            She took a quick step back from me with her jaw held tight, body language completely at odds with an almost amused expression. I noticed now that her eyes _were_ golden. They had been black before, I was sure of it.

            “You think I stopped the van?” Her voice dripped with disdain. I nodded.

            “No one will believe you.”

            “I’m not going to tell anybody,” I said, a little sharper than intended.

            “You’re crazy,” she said, matching my tone. I rolled my eyes – that seemed to piss her off more. She turned her back on me and stalked off. I stood there for a moment, reveling the post-confrontation anxiety. My hands were shaking as I pushed into the waiting room.

            It didn’t help that every face I knew in Forks was staring at me. I found Charlie, just wanting to go.

            “What did the doctor say?”

            “Dr. Cullen saw me. I’m fine and I can go home.” I saw Mike and Jessica beginning to converge. “Let’s go,” I begged him.

            He put one arm around my back and ushered me through the crowd. I waved to my friends, and for the first time in my life got into the cruiser with relief.

 

********************

 

            My visit to the hospital put me, if possible, in an even worse mood than before. It didn’t help that Rosalie had been sending a stream of angry thoughts in my direction for the better part of an hour.

            _Stupid. Stupid. Idiot. Fool. I’m not going to go through high school again just because you have a crush –_

“Rosalie,” I gritted out, “Shut the fuck up.” The video game car I was driving crashed into a building, going up in flames.

            She made a disbelieving sound, looking at Emmett for support. He bumped me with his shoulder and snatched the controller out of my hands.

            “My turn.”

            “Just don’t break this one. We’re almost out.”

They were all thinking the same thing; that I had messed up. Huge. And none of them understood why I had done it. Fuck, _I_ didn’t understand. My throat still burned with the smell of her – so close in that tiny space between the cars. It was hard to keep my head on straight, to convince myself I didn’t need to go back to Denali. Or further, this time.

            “Could you just maybe explain what’s going on?” Emmett said, now that I no longer had a reason to ignore him. “I mean, I thought you were over it when you came home…so…?”

            “It’s hard to think when Rose is shouting at me,” I tried for diversion, but no one bought it. Alice was sitting on the stairs, thinking about fabric samples, and I didn’t need mind reading to feel Esme’s quiet concern from the kitchen table.

            “If she had been hit, her blood would have spilled. I would have lost control.” I hoped the words didn’t sound as rehearsed as they were.

            Emmett accepted it pretty easily, and Rosalie continued a stream of vitriol toward me.

            _No,_ Alice’s thought, breaking her determination to keep me out. _No, you wouldn’t have. You would have been sad._

            I looked at her, confused. She replayed the vision for me, and I saw what I hadn’t before. Bella, after she had been crushed underneath the van. A dark pool of blood spreading from her body. Me, frozen in shock as her heartbeat faded. Not lunging. Not attacking. It unsettled me, but Alice went back to fabric without further comment.

            “We could have held you back,” Rosalie mumbled. “You just like your new pet.”

            I closed my eyes, not giving into her wheedling. As usual, her mind was shallow and not worth understanding.

            _Maybe she_ should _make a friend_ , Esme thought kindly, _my lonely Edythe…_

            Kind and inoffensive, yet her thoughts only grated at my nerves. Bella Swan was not my friend.

            “She didn’t say anything?” Rosalie asked. I shook my head.

            “Nothing.”

            “Why not?”

            I looked at her around Emmett, and oh sweet _Christ_ did I want to fight her. Because that was the thing. My job, more or less, as resident mind reader, was to see if anyone noticed us too much. Thought a little too hard about our eyes, or skin, or eating habits. She was asking me about Bella’s thoughts.

            “I don’t know,” I admitted. It was the one thing I couldn’t wrap my head around. Her blood continued to assault my senses, pulling at the edges of my self-control. That, at least made sense to me. But I had never – _never_ – not been able to see someone’s thoughts. The only reason I had gone to the stupid hospital in the first place was to try and get inside her head.

            “ _What?”_ Rosalie snapped. She had a knack for sensing my weaknesses.

            “I can’t hear her,” I said slowly. It really sucked to have to admit to two separate failures in one week.

            “What do you mean?” Esme asked. I sat next to my adopted mother at the table, because looking at Rosalie’s face was unbearable.

            “I can’t hear her. There’s just…nothing.”      

            “Heavy,” Emmett breathed after a second, only half paying attention.

_Ha! You’re not as perfect as you think you are,_ thought Rosalie. I wondered just how much of the drywall I could rip out and throw at her before someone stopped me. The crown molding was pretty sharp.

            In Alice’s mind, something clicked, and she was genuinely surprised by this information. She didn’t say anything, though, and that bothered me.

            “Why didn’t you tell us?” Esme put a hand on my back.

            “I needed to make sure.”

            “ _I’ll_ make sure,” Rosalie said, looking at me with vindictive pleasure. “Humans fall asleep and never wake up all the time.”

            A sharp growl escaped me as Esme exclaimed. “ _Rosalie.”_

            There was only the slightest hint of remorse in Rosalie’s mind, and she dropped her eyes, continuing the tirade in her head.

            “ _No,_ ” I snapped, as she pictured snapping Bella’s neck, and no one said a word. I knew Esme would do whatever it took to keep our family together, to keep me from having to leave again. Emmett truly didn’t understand my dilemma about this, and God only knew what Jasper would think. Alice’s silence hurt me the most. I needed someone to have my back.

            “Carlisle would agree with me,” I said desperately.

            “Let’s wait and see,” Esme said diplomatically. “Maybe she won’t say anything.”

            And just like that, the conversation was over.

            “I’m going to go find Jasper,” Alice muttered, disappearing out the back door.

            Emmett allowed himself to be dragged out the front doors by a petulant Rosalie, bemoaning his video game. I didn’t deflate until the door was shut behind her stuck-up ass. It was only Esme and I. She reached out to stroke my hair.

            “How are you feeling? _I hope she knows she can talk to me about anything_.

            “I know,” I said, answering the wrong question. She waited. I leaned into her touch.

            “I don’t know, Esme. It’s hard to explain. I don’t want everyone to fight about it.”

            “We may all have… _differing_ ideas about how to fix this,” she began. In her mind, she rationalized Rosalie’s pigheadedness as misguided loyalty. I wasn’t so sure. “But everyone has the same worry. Worry for you, worry for our family.”

            I nodded, letting the kindness of her thoughts calm me. She was right, and it was useless for all of us to try and come to a decision without Carlisle there to moderate, anyway. Even Rosalie would listen to him. I would wait, and listen, and see what the Swan girl did at school.

           

********************

 

             It was extraordinarily unlucky to have to give all of my attention to someone so vexing. I stayed in my car until the first bell rang, searching out the minds most familiar with Bella Swan.

             Jessica Stanley didn’t have a pleasant mind. She was judgmental in the extreme, but not bright enough to do any harm to anyone. Except me, who might be bored to death. Note to self: inform Carlisle of a second way to kill vampires.

            Settling in for my first class, I tuned in and out of her mind as she scrutinized Bella’s silence.

            “ _What’s wrong?”_ Jessica asked her, overly curious. Bella pushed dark hair away from her face and shook her head.

            “ _It’s just Tyler. He won’t leave me alone.”_

            _Oooh,_ Jessica thought, _he probably likes her. Everyone else seems to._ She thought of Mike, and I rolled my eyes at the childish jealousy. Mike Newton was almost as simple as she was. They deserved each other.

            _“How are you feeling?”_ Bella glanced at her with indecipherable gray eyes. I waited, hardly breathing, to see what she would say.

            _“I’m fine. Everyone overreacted yesterday.”_

            The events of the crash replayed in Jessica’s head, from her perspective. It certainly had appeared as though Bella would be crushed. She didn’t notice me at all – human memory was so unreliable. Even if she _had_ seen me, it was just as likely she had written it out as it wouldn’t have made sense with her idea of time and space.

            _“I guess so,”_ she said, speculating. It annoyed me, how Bella avoided answering questions. It was _impossible_ to figure out what she was thinking. I almost wished she would just tell everyone the truth.

           Their class started, and I left her mind, going to Mike Newton, in another building, then Tyler Crowley, then Eric Yorkie. Over the course of an hour, I discovered that each of them were planning on asking Bella to the girl’s choice dance. Incredible. I begrudgingly agreed with Jessica’s confusion when it came to Bella and all of these boys – what was it that they liked so much about her?

            I went back to Jessica as I walked to my next class. _When should I ask him?_ She fretted, watching Mike and Bella walking in front of her. _I wonder if Bella was going to ask anyone…I’ll just have to get to Mike before she does._

            High school drama was rarely entertaining, but I found myself eager to see how this was all going to play out. I sat next to Emmett in Spanish and relayed everything I knew to him in a voice too low for anyone else to hear. He hung onto every word, letting off a loud guffaw of laughter that had the teacher giving us a hard look.

            I knew he’d enjoy it. He and Alice’s favorite ‘family night’ activity was forcing us all to watch reality television – they had made it through all of the _Real Housewives_ shows and were now on _America’s Next Top Model_ – while Alice fawned over the wardrobes and Emmett tried to goad Jasper and I into taking bets on who would fight next. The business with the girl’s choice dance was right up his alley.

            _Imagine the look on Newton’s face if_ you _asked him. I bet his heart would straight up liquify._

            “Oh, please,” I muttered under my breath, snapping back into surveillance mode. She was in a math class with Angela Weber now. Angela, whose mind reminded me of Esme’s. She had been worried about Bella, but avoided asking her about it. Instead, she brought up the girl’s choice.

            _“I think I’m going to ask Ben,”_ she was saying. Ben Chaney – in my Spanish class. I glanced at the back of his head. He was focused on verb tenses at the moment.

            “ _I don’t know who that is,”_ Bella admitted with an awkward smile.

            _Bella would like him,_ Angela thought. _They’re both really sweet._

            _“Actually, I didn’t know there was a dance,”_ Bella continued with a frown. She had no idea what was coming.

            At lunch, Rosalie continued to aim some very cold thoughts in my direction. I ignored her, instead listening to Alice and Emmett’s spirited debate about who was going to win season five of the model show.

            Bella was on the way to lunch now, I saw through Mike.

            _This is it,_ he thought anxiously. _“Hey, Bella?”_ He stopped walking, putting a hand on her arm. She slowed to a stop, eyeing him warily.

            _“What’s up?”_

            _Oh, man, she’s so pretty._ “ _Um, so, there’s this dance coming up, next week actually –“_ The look on her face was really, really funny.

            _“I was wondering if you would go with me?”_

            Her mouth gaped open for a moment.

            _“I thought it was girl’s choice.”_

            “ _It is,”_ he said sheepishly. _“And, um, Jessica already asked me.”_ Damn, I had missed it!

            _“So why wouldn’t you go with her?”_

            He was starting to catch on, looking down at his feet. _“I thought since you were new, you might want a date or something…”_

            _“I appreciate it, Mike, but I’ll be in Seattle next weekend,”_ she said firmly. _“You should tell Jessica yes. She likes you.”_

Mike was upset, but not angry. He wasn’t so opposed to going with Jessica. I pulled out of his head as he and Bella entered the lunchroom. Jessica seethed from her table, unused to rejection.

            “Any updates?” Emmett asked, looking at my amused expression. I caught him up to speed while Rosalie tried not to be interested.

_She’s really annoyed,_ Jasper supplied. I watched her through his eyes, and her face was indeed pinched as Mike and Eric took turns talking to her.

            “Maybe she smells good to humans, too,” Emmett said. The comment had my throat burning, and I suddenly dreaded going to Biology. Alice, unusually quiet, was flipping through weather patterns – just as she had that morning. Surely the weather couldn’t have changed its mind. I squinted at her, and she avoided my gaze. I looked to Jasper, and he shrugged.

            _No clue._

            I arrived to Biology before Bella did, which gave me a moment to steel myself. Every day that I smelled her was like the first – only I no longer plotted to murder everyone in the room to cover it up. Regardless, I enjoyed the relatively fresh air while I could. Across campus, Jessica’s thoughts lit up as Mike agreed to go to the dance with her. He sure didn’t waste any time.

            I shifted in my seat, trying not to let my intense concentration give away the fact that I wasn’t human, and set my pen between my teeth. It looked like I was chewing on it, hopefully. I was gazing out the window when Bella showed up. She hesitated in the doorway for a second before coming to sit. I held my breath as the warmth of her body washed over my cold one.

            Mike and Eric followed, Mike sulking and taking his seat. I struggled to look nonchalant and fought down a smile. Eric didn’t have this class.

            “Hey, Bella.”

            Her voice was surprised. “Eric?”

            Mike listened intently. Eric was convinced Bella was going to say yes – and he wanted Mike to hear it. I was almost impressed with the showmanship of it all.

            “So, I wanted to ask you to go to this dance thing with me. Just as friends.”

            In his mind, it was very clear that that wasn’t the case. He just wanted her to say yes.

Creep.

            “I’m going to Seattle,” Bella said flatly. I fought the urge to glance over at her expression.

            “Reschedule.”

            There was a short pause. Bella’s heart sped up.

            “Wow,” she said flatly. “As convincing as that _isn’t,_ I suggest you ask someone else. And get to class before you’re late.”

            She slammed her notebook on the desk with finality. Mike was euphoric in the back of the room, and Eric was aghast. He almost argued, but the bell rang, proving her point. He stomped off, and Bella exhaled loudly.

            “Harsh,” I said, twirling the pen in my fingers. I couldn’t help myself.

            “You would know,” she muttered. I puzzled over that, unable to parse the meaning from her head. I had a retort ready, but decided against it. The more I talked, the sooner I would have to draw breath. Now I couldn’t even _speak_ around her. Was she doing this on _purpose?_ Had some cosmic entity subverted my eternal life by sending me hell on earth?

            At least hell wasn’t _all_ bad – I at least got to witness the end of the dance debacle. I was driving today, in the Volvo. Tyler’s mind flickered into focus as we waited in traffic. He had noticed Bella while walking to his car, and decided to go talk to her.

            She was parked right in front of me.

            Without thinking, I shot forward, creating a small jam as three other cars maneuvered around me. Bella couldn’t leave unless I pulled forward. She gave a sharp sigh from inside her car.

            “What are you doing?” Rosalie asked impatiently. She wanted to get home and paint before the sun went down over the waterfall behind our house.

            “Tyler Crowley is about to ask her to the dance,” I said. Emmet whooped and pumped his fist in the passenger seat, and even Rosalie begrudgingly sat back to watch the scene unfold. Alice and Jasper watched, though Alice was looking at a cold front moving over the coast. Odd, but I paid it no mind.

            Tyler tapped on Bella’s window, startling her into looking up from her phone.

            “Oh, god,” she muttered, manually rolling down the window. “Tyler? I can’t move – I’m stuck.” She gestured to the slowly moving cars.

            “No, actually…I was just wondering if you would go to the dance with me?”

            Like Eric, Tyler had a distinct lack of self-doubt. He waited for her response, and I saw with his eyes and mine her disbelieving expression. Emmett sucked in a breath.

            “Ten bucks says she goes with him,” Jasper murmured suddenly, always going against the odds.

            “You’re on,” Emmett and I said in unison.

            Bella’s face flushed darker than usual, in anger or embarrassment. “I’m not going to be in town, Tyler.”

            “Yeah, Mike said that.”

            “Then why -?”

            “I figured you were letting him down easy.”

            “I wasn’t.” I heard her teeth grind together. “I’m really going out of town.”

            “Oh. Well, that’s alright. We still have prom.” He shrugged and turned back to his car, leaving Bella flabbergasted.

            “God- _damn,_ ” Emmett exclaimed, snatching the money from Jasper’s hand. I took my share, pulling forward. “When are you gonna learn your lesson, Jazz?”

            Jasper sat back with a sigh.

            “We still have prom.”

 

********************

 

            If anything could have distracted me from what had happened in the crash, it was three people asking me to a dance in one day. Unbelievable. I sat in my car the next day and comforted myself with the thought of dropping out.

           The Seattle excuse had been cleared with Charlie, and I planned on leaving early on Saturday. Seattle had a lot of outdoorsy stores where I could find some winter clothes of my own and stop wearing Charlie’s. There was also a bookstore I wanted to go to. And, most importantly, I wouldn’t be dancing.

            At lunch, I glanced over to where the Cullens all sat. Edythe wasn’t there. I wasn’t sure why I even cared. She didn’t seem very pleasant – super speed can only do so much for a personality.

            I ate leftover Mexican – Charlie had loved my enchiladas, which made me happy. Everyone treated me like normal, too, which was a relief. I truly didn’t mind the guys – as long as they understood what was and wasn’t going to happen.

            “Alice Cullen is staring at you,” Jessica whispered. I looked up, mid-chew, and nearly spit it out. The smallest one of them, short hair styled into perfect waves that hung around her face, was indeed looking right at me. When I made eye contact, she didn’t look away, a line forming on her forehead.

            I turned to Jessica with raised eyebrows. “I don’t know why.”        

            “Weird,” she said.

            Edythe wasn’t in class, either. I sat alone at my desk, wondering idly where she could be. And why her sister would be staring at me like that. Maybe she had shared with her family the reason she hated me so much. I wished someone would tell _me._

            Mrs. Banner came in the room then, calling the class to order. She held a few small boxes in her arms, and set them down at the table in front, instructing the guys there to start passing them around the class.

            “Okay, guys, I want you to all take one piece from each box,” she produced a pair of rubber gloves and pulled them on. “The first should be an indicator card.” At the word _indicator,_ my stomach flipped. “Next will be the applicator, and the barb. I’ll be coming around with a dropper of water to prepare your cards, so please don’t start until I say so.”

            She started in the front, showing them where to prick their fingers. Clammy moisture broke out across my forehead at the sight of a classmate stabbing their finger. I swallowed.

            “Bella, are you alright?” She caught sight of my face, and looked alarmed.

            “I already know my blood type,” I said weakly.

            “Are you feeling faint?”

            I nodded, feeling my stomach heave as a wave of copper scented air hit my nose.

            “Can someone help Bella to the nurse, please?” She called. I didn’t have to look up to know it would be Mike who volunteered.

            “Can you walk?” She asked suddenly, mistaking my grimace of annoyance for pain.

            “Yeah,” I said, standing up, but Mike put his arm around my waist anyway. I leaned against him on the way out of the classroom.

            It wasn’t so bad once I got outside into the crisp air. In case Mrs. Banner was watching, I waited until we were around the cafeteria to stop.

            “Just let me sit,” I told Mike. He helped me down to the sidewalk, where I slumped to my side, laying my cheek against the cold cement.

            “You’re green, Bella,” Mike said anxiously.

            “I’ve been worse.”

            “Swan?” Came a voice – very close by. I squeezed my eyes shut. Please, no.

            “Did you hurt her?” Edythe asked. It sounded like she was smiling.

            “I think she fainted,” Mike said. “I don’t know what happened – she didn’t even prick her finger.”

            “Can you hear me?” The voice asked, close to my ear.

            “No,” I groaned.

            “I’ll take her,” She said suddenly.

            “What? I’m supposed to do it,” Mike protested. I was hauled off of the sidewalk by my right arm – none too gently – and then I was on my feet. A very strong arm supported me like it was nothing.

            Then I was towed off, powerless.

            “Hey!” Mike called, already ten paces behind us. Edythe ignored him.

            “Put me back,” I told her. “I’ll be fine in a few minutes.”

            She only glanced at me, close enough for me to see her brilliant gold eyes. I opened my mouth to argue further, but stopped. I had never been this close to her. The Cullens all looked perfect from afar, but it was even more true up close. There was an almost rosy cast to her flawless peachy complexion. Her eyebrows were perfectly curved over her eyes, her lips were naturally flushed, and her jaw was squared off in a soft way. I wondered what she thought of me in my oversized sweater and torn jeans.

            “You look like hell,” She said, ruining the illusion of being an actual angel. Her fingers wound into my overcoat capably, and our hips touched as we walked. I had no idea why words escaped me.

            “And you faint at the sight of blood.” This seemed to amuse her. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The nausea was already fading. I focused on individual steps, hoping I wouldn’t trip.

            It was suddenly warm. I opened my eyes; we were in the nurses office.

            “Oh my,” A voice gasped.

            “She fainted in Biology,” Edythe said. I exhaled in a rush, and she suddenly let go of me, moving as far as she could from me in the narrow room. I staggered forward a step.

            “Blood typing?” The nurse said. I nodded. “There’s always one.”

            Edythe laughed under her breath, following as the nurse pulled me into an even smaller room, pointing at the little patient bed and bustling off again.  

            “Why weren’t you in class?” I asked, to fill the sudden silence.

            “Ditching is healthy,” was all she said. The nurse came back in with an ice pack, and told me to put it on my head.

            “You can go back to class now,” she said to Edythe.

            “I’m supposed to stay with her.” She said this with such assured authority that the nurse didn’t argue. I held the ice to my head and watched her carefully, waiting for the next mood swing.

            “I got scared for a minute,” She said suddenly, when the nurse wandered off. “I thought Newton had roofied you and was dragging you off to have his way with you.”

            I grimaced. “That’s morbid.”

            She just shrugged.

            “How did you see us? If you were ditching, I mean.” I was feeling much better now. The ice pack wasn’t even as cold as the ground had been.

            “I was in my car listening to music.”

            The nurse came back in, asking me a few questions. The door to the room sat open, and I saw another person from my class helped in by Mike. The icy blast of air roused me, and I hopped up.

            “Let them have the bed – I’m fine.”

            I squeezed past Mike to the doors, pushing through them and taking a deep breath.

            Edythe followed close behind me as I leaned against the wall.

            “You’re pretty squeamish, huh?”

            In through the nose, out through the mouth. “It’s the smell more than anything.”

            “You can _smell_ blood?”

            I didn’t answer, because Mike rushed out to where we stood.        

            “Hey, Bella. Going back to class?”

            Edythe looked at him with ridicule.

            “I’d just have to come right back, Mike.”

            “Yeah, I guess… so are you going this weekend? To the beach?”

            “Oh,” I recalled the conversation from lunch. “Yeah.”

            “Cool. We’re meeting at my dad’s store tomorrow morning. At ten.” He glanced at Edythe. “Do…do you want to come?”

            She raised her eyebrows delicately. “Thanks, but I’m actually going to Seattle tomorrow.”

            My mouth fell open. Mike looked between us with a hurt expression.

            “See you,” he said to me, turning and striding off. I looked at Edythe.

            “He probably thinks we were making fun of him,” I scolded, watching his retreating form.

            “Oh, he definitely thinks that,” she said. “It’ll do him some good.”

            “How did you know that…” I stopped myself. “Why are you going to Seattle?”

            “I’m not,” she said, as though it were obvious. Then she winked at me. I stepped back – then remembered that she had overheard me turning Eric down in Bio. She was making fun of me, too.

            “Why are you talking to me?” I asked. “You don’t like me.”

            “I wanted to hear your theories,” she said cryptically. “Walk with me.” Her golden eyes bored into mine, and I followed her. It wasn’t like I had anything better to do. She led me to the parking lot – to the same shiny silver car that had blocked my path yesterday. I frowned when she motioned for me to get in.

            “Theories?” I sat in the leather seat. The car smelled new.

            “Yep,” she hit something on her phone and music started playing. It was a song I recognized, and the familiar music put me at ease, somehow. “You haven’t blabbed to everyone about what happened,” Her hair fell out of her thick braid in wisps. “And I can’t figure out why.

            “Are you admitting something happened?”

            “You _did_ almost die.” Her eyes glittered at me, almost catlike. I got the feeling she wasn’t going to cooperate unless I got a lot more specific.

            “You stopped the car. With – with your bare hands.”

             She tapped her fingers on her leg. “If that’s really what you think you saw…” I narrowed my eyes. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

            I had been thinking the same thing, but it always came down to one problem.

            “I don’t think anyone would believe me.”

            “You’re probably right,” she said, staring straight ahead.

            “So why are you so worried about it?” I had hit a nerve – she looked at me sharply, losing some of her careful composure.

            “I’m not.”

            I gestured to the car. “You dragged me way out here to ask me about it. Seems pretty important.”

            “Just trying to prove something,” she muttered, almost too quietly for me to hear.

“So you want theories?” I asked, when she didn’t say anything else. She lifted one eyebrow.

            “I mean, you look like a track star, but that wouldn’t explain how you got there so fast – over the ice, even. It also wouldn’t explain your strength. Or the way you look.” I shifted so I could face her more directly, watching her expression. “Were you bitten by a radioactive spider? Super-soldier serum?” If she understood my references, it didn’t show. Only the slightest tilt to her head made me feel like she was listening at all.

            “I guess I’ll never understand how you did it…but can I ask _why?”_

            Her blank expression curved into a frown. “Why?”

            I nodded. “You don’t seem to like me very much – you go from almost nice to openly hostile. And it’s not like I had time to even _do_ anything to make you that mad…unless…” I broke off, feeling a blush creeping up.

            She sighed sharply. “Unless what?”

            “You didn’t…like…” It was my turn to look out the window. “ _Like_ Mike or Eric or anything, did you?” It was incredibly stupid, said out loud like that, but why else would she hate me so much?

            Edythe’s answering snort made me jump. “You’re not very smart.”

            “Ex _cuse_ me?” I looked at her in disbelief, and she just shook her head, a small smile playing around her lips. “There you go again – crazy bitch mode. Well, if it’s torturing you so much that you saved me, maybe you’ll get lucky and I’ll break my neck on the ice walking back to class.”

            I got out of the car and slammed the door as hard as I could. As I stomped – carefully – back across the cement, she turned her music up to blasting inside the car. I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt so _infuriated._

            I went through the rest of my day in a black mood, so black that even Charlie noticed as he got home. I was dicing tomatoes with extreme prejudice, making a salad for us for dinner.

            “Jeez, Bells,” he said over the sound of the knife. “Hope it’s not me you’re mad at.” He hung his jacket and gun and sat at the kitchen table with a groan. I shook my head, sweeping the tomatoes into a bowl.

            “Just hungry.” He eyed the bowl of lettuce warily as I started on the onions.

            “Where’s the meat?” He asked, trying to see past my legs into the oven.

            “Chicken breast,” I told him. “You eat at that diner way too much. Red meat kills.”

            He grumbled something about “rabbit food”. I ignored it. The man had probably never had real, seasoned chicken before. I knew from years of experience that Mom couldn’t cook – it had come down to me to pass on Grandma Kalani’s Hawaiian chicken recipe.

            I checked on the chicken, and set the salad on the table, grabbing two bowls and forks.

            “Oh yeah,” I said, digging in. “Some kids from school invited me to the beach tomorrow. La Push, actually.”

            Billy’s face lit up. “Maybe you’ll see Jacob.”

            Jacob Black. The name sparked a memory in me, but more from Charlie’s stories than actual memory. We had played together as babies. “Maybe.”

            “So…” Charlie cleared his throat. “Did a boy ask you?”

            “No, Dad,” I blushed with unprecedented speed. “Were going as a group.”

            “Sure,” he said, looking down at his plate. “Any boys catch your eye?”

            “Dad,” I groaned, and he held his hands up in surrender.

            “I’m just asking.”

            I got the chicken out, and put on the finishing touches while Charlie waited semi-patiently. I found myself thinking about his question. I was glad to have friends that seemed to like me. It had been easy, falling into their group. None of the guys at school had stood out to me, though.

            Well, except for the Cullens, but that was a given.

            I sat back down, and Charlie picked at the chicken warily.

            “I’ve talked to Edythe Cullen a bit.” I said, not sure why I was broaching the topic. Maybe it was because he had praised the doctor so much. “We’re lab partners.”

            He looked up in approval. “That’s great. They’re all really smart.” I didn’t correct him. The thought occurred that it would be pretty funny if I told him one of them was bullying me. I wondered what would happen if I told him how Edythe had stopped the car.

            _It’s true,_ I pictured myself screaming, being dragged into a mental asylum by the two large Cullen boys. _She has super speed and super strength. And good taste in music!_

Charlie took the first bite of chicken. His eyes went wide, and I decided to follow suit.

            “ _Wow,_ Bells,” he said. “When did you get so good at this?”

            I looked up. “Renée,” we said in unison.

 

********************

 

            Getting up early on a Saturday was easy when the sun was out. I looked out of my window excitedly at the now-dry road and brown grass. It probably wasn’t warm, unfortunately, but feeling the sun on my face would be good enough.

            I pulled on thick socks, leggings, and a sweatshirt, which was pretty depressing as far as beachwear went. Charlie had already gone. Fishing with Billy was his favorite Saturday event. I thought it was cute.

            I grabbed his heavy jacket that had become my favorite, now picked free of glass. If Charlie didn’t ask for it back, I might still be wearing it after my Seattle trip next weekend.

            Finding Mike’s store wasn’t too hard. _Newton’s Olympic Outfitters_ was only a short trip on the freeway, taking me away from the coastline, actually. I saw everyone milling around near a large van. Several hands raised to wave me over as I hopped from my truck.

            “Hey, guys.” I smiled, sidling over to Angela. I tended to stay as close to her as possible in group settings like this. Jessica was fine in small doses, but tended to hog the attention in groups, often in the form of quizzing me for everyone’s entertainment.

            “Heard you fainted yesterday,” Jessica started, proving my point immediately. Mike had the good grace to look abashed when I glanced at him, but Jessica didn’t ask about Edythe, so he must have left that part out. She continued to tease me about it, but by the time we all crammed into the van, there was mostly just complaining.

            Despite my best efforts, I somehow ended up between Angela and Mark. He shifted to put his arm around me, and I got a strong wave of cologne. He didn’t smell bad, and his arm around me wasn’t that intrusive. It felt more like companionship, at least on my end. I could feel Jessica staring daggers at us from the back seat.

            It was only twenty miles to La Push from Mike’s store, and fifteen from Charlie’s – my – house. Angela rolled the window down, and I tried to get as much sunlight as possible.

            The mile-long crescent of First Beach was familiar to me. And breathtaking. The water was a dark gray, even in the sunlight, and white-capped waves heaved against the rocky shore. Islands rose out of the harbor with steep cliff sides, reaching to uneven summits and crowned with austere, soaring firs. The beach had sand occasionally, but mainly consisted of large, smooth stones that reflected a spectrum of color in the sun.

            A cool, briny wind pulled at my hair as we picked our way down to the beach. Mike led us to a ring of driftwood logs that had obviously been used for parties like ours before. He, Eric, and Ben, the one Angela liked, worked together to gather wood for a fire.      

            “Ever seen a driftwood fire?” Angela asked, sitting next to me on a cold log. I shook my head.

            “I think you’ll like it,” She leaned into me as a strong wind blew through our stretch of beach. I watched Mike kneel by the driftwood pile, lighting one of the smaller sticks. Flames began to lick quickly up the dry wood.

            “It’s blue!”

            “The salt does it.” She watched Ben, who was setting up a Bluetooth speaker.

            Then, though it was only ten in the morning, the boys started passing around beers. I didn’t care for the brand they had picked, and sipped sparingly. I made sure to keep an eye out, but didn’t mention to my friends that Chief Swan was on the reservation somewhere today.

            Someone mentioned tidal pools a bit later, and a group of us split off to take the short hike. I hated the thought of waking through the tricky terrain, but Mike and Jessica were part of the group that was staying, and I hoped that without me there he would give her the attention she so clearly craved.

            The green light of the forest was strangely at odds with the laughter of my friends. I took my steps carefully, adding to the conversation only when I felt like I wouldn’t immediately fall over. Eventually, we broke through and found the shore again.

            “Wow,” said Ben. “Never been over here.”

            I was very careful not to lean too far over the little ocean ponds. The others were fearless, leaping over rocks, perching precariously on the edges. I crouched over one of the largest pools and stayed there, spellbound. The bouquets of brilliant anemones undulated in a current, hermit crabs scuttled around in their twisted shells. A small eel with white racing stripes wove through some green weeds, waiting for the sea to return.

            Then Eric found some washed-up seaweed, and he and Ben ganged up on the rest of us. Angela and I dodged their throws, screaming and laughing. I felt weightless with joy.

            Finally, Angela got tired and Ben and Eric were hungry. When we got back to the beach, I was surprised to see new people around our fire. I was also surprised to see skin that was as dark as my own, maybe darker. Teenagers, from the reservation most likely.

            Jessica introduced us as we sat. One of them looked up in interest when she said my name.

            While we ate – roasted hot dogs and bags of chips – I was thinking about Forks. I was having a good time, no one but Edythe Cullen seemed to hate me, and I hadn’t cried in almost three days. It was going better than I could have hoped.

            Tyler, who I was trying to avoid, and Lauren, one of Jessica’s friends and only slightly less horrible than Edythe, messed around with the speaker while everyone else broke off to either hike back to the tidal pools or sit closer to the water. Jessica tried to make conversation with a tall guy from the reservation. It looked like it was going well.

            The boy who had looked at me funny approached me.

            “Isabella Swan?”

            It was like the first day of school all over again. He looked odd – young and old at the same time. There was a childish roundness to his face, but his arms and chest were defined and he was very tall. Long black hair was pulled into a ponytail at the nape of his neck.

            “You bought my dad’s truck?” He continued. I realized who he was, with a gasp.

            “Jacob?”

            He nodded. “Charlie said you were back. He’s pretty excited.”

            “So am I,” I said, and it was almost true. “I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you!”

            “Puberty,” He huffed, sitting against the log, on the sand. “How’s the car?”

            “It’s amazing. I love it.”

            “A little slow, though,” he said. “I’m glad Charlie bought it. My dad wouldn’t let me work on building a car while I had a perfectly good one sitting right there.”

            “You work on cars?”

            “When I have time,” he shook his head. “You wouldn’t happen to know where I could find a master cylinder for a 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit?” His voice was pleasant and husky, his smile toothy and wide.

            “I’ll keep an eye open,” I told him, grinning back.

            He looked at me, really looked at me.

            “You look different, too,” he said. “Older.” I blushed. “Forks driving you crazy yet?”

            I thought about Edythe Cullen.

            “For the first few days. It’s getting better.”

            “How old are you, now?” He asked me. “You’re a senior, right?”

            “That’s right. I’m eighteen.”

            “I got the raw end,” he said. “I’m seventeen and a half, but I’m only a junior.”

            “Where do you go to school?”

            “There’s one here on the reservation.” I inched forward as another strong wind blew past us. “It’s no good, though. They teach us Quileute, but that’s about it.”

            “Do you have a lot of friends?” I asked, sure of the answer. Jacob seemed easygoing in the extreme. It took a lot for me not to feel anxious about talking with someone.

            “I guess. Everyone mostly just feels like your family – which is annoying. What about you?”

            I shrugged. “Everyone’s pretty nice. There’s this one girl, though. Edythe Cullen. I kind of feel like she hates me, but I don’t know why.” I pressed my lips together. Why couldn’t I just shut up?

            “Did you say Cullen?”

            “Yeah.” He chuckled, which piqued my interest. I nudged him with my leg. “What is it?”

            “Nothing,” he told me. “Just old superstition.”

            I scooted closer, making a show of my interest. Who didn’t love a good story?

            “Well,” he started, laughing, “The legends talk about Ka’wa’iti, who created the first Quileutes by transforming wolves into humans. He taught them about being human, creating a powerful tribe.”

            “Wolves?”

            “More like werewolves,” he glanced at me, pausing for effect. I hid my grin behind my hand. “Some of the stories are older, and some are newer. There’s one, though, that isn’t about the Quileutes at all. It’s about the _cold ones._ ”

            “The cold ones?” I leaned forward.

            “Yeah. If you believe the stories,” his voice made it clear that he didn’t. “Then my great-grandfather was the one who made the treaty to keep them off our land.”

            “Really?”

            “Yeah. So, the cold ones were the natural enemies of the wolf – well, the wolf-men.”

            “Werewolves have enemies?” I asked skeptically.

            “Only one.” This time, his pause had the intended effect. I shivered.

            He burst out laughing. “You should see the look on your face.”

            I smacked him on the shoulder. “You just made all of that up, didn’t you?”

            “No, I swear. It’s just one of the more ridiculous stories. More of a metaphor for colonialism, if you ask me.”

            “I don’t understand.”

            “Well, I’m not as good at storytelling as my dad is. You should really hear him spin one.” Jacob rolled his eyes. “The cold ones were people. At least, they looked like people. They were all kind of … cannibals. They hunted humans, including the Quileutes. But the ones that came to my great-grandfather were different. They claimed they ate animals, just like the Quileutes, and that they weren’t a danger to Ephriam’s people. So, they made a truce. If these particular cold ones would stay off of Quileute land and never kill a human, we wouldn’t expose them to the pale-faces.” He gestured to my friends. I held back a laugh.

            “So they weren’t cannibals, then, if they ate animals. They were just…people.”

            “Like I said, they only look like people. Eating human flesh warped their existence. It made them strong, and immortal. They had no blood, and ran almost as fast as the wolf-warriors.“

            My smile faded. “But they _didn’t_ eat human flesh,” I pointed out.

            He shook his head. “Didn’t matter. They still weren’t _human._ ”

            I hugged my arms to my chest, and Jacob mistook my expression for interest.

             “So, this is where it gets ridiculous. My dad – and some of the other elders – believe that the Cullens _are_ the cold ones. The very same ones.”

            “Oh,” I said, looking out over the water. Clouds were rolling in, darkening the already murky waves.

            “You’re not actually scared, are you?” He looked concerned. I forced a smile.

            “You’re a good storyteller.” He laughed again.

            “Just don’t tell the pale-faces.” His smile warmed me from the inside out – like part of me hadn’t forgotten our childhood friendship.

            “Bella,” a voice called. Of course it was Mike. “I think we’re about to pack it up. It looks like rain.” He gave Jacob a look and bent to help Ben with the cooler.

            “Is that your boyfriend?” Jacob asked at the possessive tone in Mike’s voice.

            “Absolutely not,” I grumbled.

Jacob laughed at me.

            “You should come down sometime,” he said. “Or if anything goes wrong with the truck you could let me look at it.”

            “I’m sure you’ll be seeing me. Charlie wants me to meet Billy. Or…re-meet him, I guess.”

            “Cool,” we both stood up, and to my surprise, he hugged me. “I’ll be seein’ ya.”

            “Bye, Jake.” He smiled at the nickname. I pulled my hood up and traipsed behind the others to the van, shivering.

            It was just a story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never thought I would be writing Twilight fan fiction, but here we are, I guess. This fic is a product of the most difficult semester of college I've had so far, and a haze of procrastination and a severe need to type something that WASN'T schoolwork. I think I busted out 50,000 words in a week and a half. Now it's finals week, and I'm editing and posting this at midnight when my Spanish paper is due at noon tomorrow and I'm three pages short. 
> 
> I'm not really trying to re-write Twilight, though that's what it seems like now, probably. The next chapter will be mostly new and different stuff. More interesting stuff. While borrowing from the saga, though, I WILL enjoy abusing hyphens and the use of eye-language (which absolutely makes no sense ever, but Meyers convinced you it did which makes us all idiots). *My eyes tighten with determination and you trust that I am a competent fic writer despite the fact that I can find no friend to listen past the words Twilight and Fanfiction and am editing this alone and can barely see past the glare of my laptop screen* *My eyes dazzle you and you ignore the fact that it is 2018 and continue to read this Twilight fan fiction*  
> Thanks, guys, really.
> 
> Also: why is AO3 eating my indents? Sorry if my FORMAT is wrong :/


	3. The Angel of Port Angeles

           I got homework done that afternoon, and woke up Sunday to a text from Angela inviting me to go dress shopping with her and Jessica. I rolled over, pulling the blankets close and listening to the rain outside. Downstairs, the clinking of a coffee mug on the kitchen table told me Charlie was up.

            The lingering strains of a nightmare pulled at my mood. I chalked it up to Jacob’s scary stories. Underneath the blankets, I shivered. Port Angeles. Shopping. I could look for clothes there, maybe even find a decent bookstore. The Forks library was always an option, but it was so tiny and depressing I hadn’t bothered.

            “Hey, Dad,” I said, yawning. He was sitting at the table, with coffee and a newspaper. The picture of small-town simplicity.

            “Mornin’,” he answered, engrossed. My guess was sports section. I poured myself a cup of coffee and almost twice as much creamer.

            “Angela and Jessica want me to go dress shopping with them for a dance…thing.”

            He looked up. “What dance?”

            “There’s a girl’s choice dance next weekend. I’m not going,” I added quickly, as his eyebrows drew together.

            “But you’re going dress shopping?”

            “Well, _I’m_ not. Just going out with them. Moral support.” He just nodded and looked back at the paper.

            “Is that Jessica Stanley?”

            “Yeah, Dad. They want to leave around four so you’ll be on your own for dinner.”

            “Bella, I survived eighteen years cooking for myself. I’ll be fine.”

            I raised my eyebrows.

           The day passed quickly. I decided to get started on the English assignment for Macbeth, hoping it would be easy but having to re-read most of it for clarity. I watched a movie, enjoying my free time by lying in bed all day.

            Jessica called me around four, saying she was outside my house. I had lost track of time.

             “Are you dressed up?” I held the phone between my ear and my shoulder.

            “Um, _always_. Put on your sluttiest skirt and get out here.”

            I dug through my Phoenix bag – shoved to the corner of the closet – and pulled out the jean skirt I never had the confidence to wear. Girl’s night was as good an excuse as any. I pulled it on. It was high waisted, with dark blue denim, and ended mid-thigh. I pulled on black tights and paired a large maroon sweater with my combat boots. My hair desperately fought my vicious brushing, eventually succumbing to a can of hairspray.

            I called a goodbye to Charlie, who thankfully didn’t look up from the television. He probably wouldn’t approve of my outfit.

            Jessica, however, eyed me with approval. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a tank top with a cardigan that hung off her shoulders. Her brown hair was curled expertly, bouncing when she suddenly shook her head at me.

            “I was afraid of this,” she sighed, reaching for something in the backseat.

            “What?” I had checked myself twice in the mirror before leaving. In response, she produced a small bag, the sound of the zipper loud and threatening.

            “Jess, no.”

            “Jess, _yes,_ ” she insisted, pulling out a pen of eyeliner. “Do it.”

            I reluctantly took the bag and started applying makeup while she drove. It wasn’t the easiest of feats, not to mention I hadn’t used eyeliner in almost a year. Jessica forced me to add mascara and a small amount of blush.

            “ _Yes,_ Bella! Mascara does _wonders_ for your eyes. You always looks so _drab._ ”

            I wasn’t sure if that was an insult, so I let it slide as we pulled up to a nice two story house near the high school. Angela ran out to meet us, also dressed nice. She complimented me on the makeup.

            “She fought me on it,” Jessica said wearily. “But justice always wins in the end.”

            She drove fast, so we made it to Port Angeles in less than an hour. We passed around the aux cord, taking turns with the music while Jessica regaled us with the story of her date with Mike. I was happy for her, and she seemed less put out with me. Win, win.

            Port Angeles was a total tourist trap. It was gorgeous, bigger and more polished than Forks. Angela and Jessica seemed familiar with it, and knew exactly where to go. There was a Main Street, with a litany of different things. We walked along and entered a consignment shop.

            We picked through the selection slowly, keeping up a quiet conversation. They both seemed surprised when I said I had never been to a dance before.

            “Why not?” Jessica asked.

            “No one asked me.”

            “I don’t believe that,” Angela said.

            “People ask you out here,” Jessica pulled a short black thing off of the rack. “And you tell them no.”

            “Except for Tyler,” Angela amended. I froze.

            “What did you say?”

            She looked up. “Tyler told everyone he was taking you to prom. That’s why Lauren was mad at you.”

            I shut my eyes, beyond angry. “He said _what?_ ”

            “Told you,” Angela murmured to Jessica.

            “Do you think he’ll stop trying to apologize if I hit him with _my_ car?” I chose a pale pink dress and handed it to Angela.

            “Maybe,” Jessica giggled. “ _If_ that’s why he’s doing it.”

            I sat in a chair outside the dressing room while they tried things on. Angela came out first in a long black dress with straps that went around the sides of the shoulders. I told her I liked it, of course, but she shook her head and drew the curtain back. Jessica came out in something I hadn’t expected.

           It was interesting, with a flowy skirt that looked to be made for dancing, in a deep purple. The bust of it showed just enough of her cleavage that I noticed. She admired herself in the mirror.

            “What do you think?”

            “I think you look amazing, Jess!”

            “What about the girls?” She turned and posed for me. I had to admit – they looked amazing. I told her as much, and she promptly decided to buy it. I was sort of shocked – Jessica wasn’t a girl I thought would shop so quickly. Angela took longer, but ended up choosing a shorter navy dress with a chiffon overlay. She looked like a princess.

            “Ben will like it,” I told her. She blushed.

            They wanted to go to a shoe store next, but I still needed to find some winter clothes. We were supposed to be eating at an Italian restaurant later, and for the sake of time I suggested I meet up with them in an hour. They wanted to come with me, but I assured them I would be quick.

            So I followed the strip of stores alone, looking for anything promising. A group of men whistled at me, calling something I didn’t catch. I walked faster.

After a few turns I found an outdoor supply shop. The back half was apparel. It was pricy, but I had car money saved up. I bought an overcoat that was similar to Charlie’s, but my size, and gray, then found a sweater and a rain jacket to go with it, and a pair of boots. It took a bit longer than I thought it would, despite my lack of pickiness. I was now in a hurry.

            The store had two exits. I took the back one, thinking it would take me back to the main strip quicker. I was wrong. It was getting dark, and I pulled out my phone to find my footing. According to the GPS, I was facing the wrong way. I turned around. There weren’t many people out on a Sunday night, so I walked fast. If I turned left at the corner at the end of the street, I would be going the right way.

            A group of men rounded that very corner. I kept my head down as I passed them. One of them whistled at me, again, and my heart started to speed up.

            “Hey there!” One of them called. I didn’t look up, and didn’t relax until I had rounded the corner. But the next street was totally empty, with blank storefronts and no people. I trudged on, too scared to slow down and look at the directions.

            That’s when I heard footsteps. I half-turned around. Two of them were walking behind me. I held my bags tighter to my sides, walking as fast as I could without running. I just had to get to the main road…

           A blue car turned and sped down the street. I had the wild thought to jump out in front of it, but didn’t.

            It seemed to take forever for me to get to that corner. I kept my pace steady, the men behind me falling ever so slightly farther behind with every step. Maybe they realized they had scared me and were sorry. I saw two cars going north pass the intersection I was heading for, and I exhaled in relief. There would be more people around once I got off this deserted street. I skipped around the corner with a grateful sigh. Then I stopped.

            I had, somehow, _impossibly_ , taken another wrong turn. More unlit buildings lined the streets. And there, not that far ahead of me, were the other two guys. I wasn’t being followed. I was being herded.

            Was I going in circles?

            I paused for only a second, but it felt like a very long time. The footsteps behind me were louder now. I walked forward.

           “There you are!” The booming voice of the stocky, dark-haired man shattered the intense quiet and made me jump. In the gathering darkness, it seemed like he was looking past me.

           “Yeah,” a voice called loudly behind me, making me jump again as I tried to hurry down the street. “We just took a little detour.”

           My steps had to slow now. I was closing the distance between myself and the lounging pair too quickly. I could usually shout pretty loudly, so I sucked in air, preparing to call for help, but my throat was so dry I wasn’t sure how much volume I could manage. I knew next to nothing about self-defense, but put myself in my best approximation of a defensive stance

           “Get away from me,” I warned in a voice that was supposed sound strong and fearless. But I was right about the dry throat—no volume.

           “Don’t be like that,” the shortest one said.

           I braced myself, feet apart, and raised my fists – I wasn’t exceptionally strong, but I was scrappy. I could probably do some damage. And there was always the standard knee to the groin, of course. A pessimistic voice in my mind spoke up then, reminding me that I probably didn’t have a chance against one of them, and there were four.  _Shut up!_  I commanded the voice before panic incapacitated me. I wasn’t going out without taking someone with me.  I took a deep breath and prepared myself.

           “You’re not from around here,” one of them said, stepping closer to me. I stepped back, stumbling over my feet.

           Just then, the squealing of tires distracted all of us. A pair of headlights were sped down the street. This time, I _did_ jump in front of it. It would have to hit me, or stop.

           Just as I thought it, the car skidded around in a near circle, the passenger door flying open. A massive red Jeep.

           “Get in,” I high pitched voice commanded me. Without thinking, I jumped up and scrambled into the seat. The car started moving before I had shut the door. The men scrambled out of the way as we shot forward.

           I looked to see who it was that saved me – and my jaw fell open.

           Alice Cullen, impossibly tiny in the driver’s seat, gave me a wide-eyed look.

           “Seriously, Bella. Walking around alone at night?”

           Her voice sounded like a bell, high and ringing. I just gaped – speechless. She took a right turn so hard I was thrown nearly on top of her.

           “Buckle up,” she said, shoving me back to my side with incongruous strength. I put the belt around me with shaky hands. “Are you okay?”

           “What the hell are you _doing_ here?”

           “Rescuing you,” she said grimly. My head spun.

           “How –“

           “How did I know where you were?” She took the words right out of my mouth. The car came to a halt. We were at the restaurant. I looked through the window and then back at her, then out the window once more for good measure. “Call it a hunch.”

           For a moment, the car was filled with only the sound of my breathing.

           “Are you in shock?” She asked, wringing her hands.

           “I don’t understand what’s happening,” I managed, trying to control my breathing.

           “Yeah,” she leaned her head back against the seat with a sigh. “I didn’t know if I would get this far.”

           “What?”

           “You have questions.” She looked at me.

           “I…well, yeah. Like I just said: _What?_ ”

           “The thing is,” she said slowly, like I hadn’t spoken. “I can’t…answer them?”

           “You don’t even know what I’m going to ask.”

           She ignored me again. “I was in town. I saw what was happening to you and intervened.”

           She gave me a stern look, and I just nodded. “Sure.”

           “The thing is, Bella,” she said my name like we had already met. “You need to give Edythe a chance.”

           “Edythe?”

           “Yes. You and Edythe…could be good for each other.” She looked at me with an expression I didn’t understand. “Just talk to her.”

           “I…Sure. Yep. Uh-huh,” I said. I just wanted out of the car. “So…thanks for saving me?”

           I made to open the door, and Alice moved quickly, stopping me by putting her hand on my arm. I gasped, and she pulled away. Her hand was ice cold.

 _The cold ones,_ Jacob’s voice said in my head. I looked up at her face, and she was so _strange_ looking. Her eyes were dark brown, or gold, maybe. It was hard to see in the darkness.

           “I know this doesn’t make sense to you right now.” That was one hell of an understatement. “But you and I are going to be great friends, too.”

           Her face was so oddly perfect in its formation. Skin, glowing even in the low light of the dashboard.

           “This is the weirdest conversation I’ve ever had,” I said bluntly. She laughed a high, tinkling laugh.

           “Your friends will be looking for you. Get home safe.” There was a strange twinkle in her eyes. I got out of the car and the Jeep pulled off, very fast but without urgency. I looked after it, wondering if anything would ever make sense to me again.

           Jessica called me then. I let the phone buzz in my hand, slowing my breathing down to a manageable rate. I just stood there, traumatized, and wondered which part of my night I’d lose the most sleep over.

 

*********************

 

           I flipped through a book picked from Carlisle’s library, one I hadn’t read yet. It was an old philosophy text from nineteenth century Nagpur. I wasn’t quite as fluent in Marathi as Carlisle was, and mostly relied on his careful script in the margins.

           I was also listening Jasper’s thoughts as they flickered on and off about Alice. She had stepped out about two hours ago – one hour, fifty-seven minutes, actually. That he was counting the time worried me, but I didn’t say anything. Alice had her own ways of being infuriating, although she usually told Jasper what she was plotting before she did it. The fact that I didn’t have the upper hand on her made me anxious. _And_ she had taken Emmett’s car. She needed something speedy, less noticeable than the M3…

           Esme and Carlisle were up in their room. I tried to give them some privacy, but by the time I thought to block them out, I had already seen what they planned to do tomorrow while we were all at school. I flinched, pulling away. Eugh. They were my parents after all, in all the ways that mattered. You would think that _those_ urges wouldn’t linger after three hundred years, but no, I continued to suffer the trauma of my gift.

           Emmett and Rosalie had just gotten back from a quick snack in the woods, cheeks aglow and eyes golden. I shut my book, preparing to start a round of gaming with Emmett and Jasper, when we all heard the Jeep’s engine pull onto the drive.

 _Don’t be mad,_ Alice was thinking very hard in my direction. I stood up from the couch, frowning. Upstairs, Jasper sighed in relief. Emmett and Rosalie looked at my tense posture with confusion.

           “What’s wrong?” Emmett asked.

           The engine cut off, still a good mile out from the house. Alice jumped lightly from the car, onto the dirt path.

 _I had no choice,_ she thought, and then the events of her night flashed through her mind. I frowned at Jasper and Rosalie, confused, and then Jasper was next to me, sensing the shift in my mood.

_What happened?_

           “What. Did. You. _Do!”_

           I threw the front door open and was out to Alice in less than five seconds. She was standing a decent ways from the Jeep, for some reason, with her arms clasped behind her.

 _I didn’t want you to break anything,_ she told me.

           I felt everyone else as they came out to see what was going on. All of their minds echoed concern and confusion at my outburst. Jasper went to Alice’s side, standing in front of her, and that’s when I realized I had been crouched, about to spring on my meddling, stupid, thoughtless sister. I didn’t stop.

           “Alice – what’s going on?” Carlisle asked patiently. Jasper locked his eyes with mine, and a forced calm settle over me. I snarled at him.

           “I went to Port Angeles,” Alice said, playing her memories on a loop. She was trying to convey through the images why she had done it. Looking for Bella, seeing a vision of four men converging on her in an abandoned part of town. I grimaced at what I saw, what she had seen – it was abhorrent. But she had made it just in time. I watched Bella’s face, frightened and desperate, light up in the headlights of the Jeep.

           “Bella was going to be attacked,” Alice said, mostly to me.

           “Are we still on this?” Rosalie asked, exasperated. “Good riddance, I say.”

           “Would you all mind if Edythe and I talked alone?” Alice said. Jasper and I both made a noise of disagreement.

           “It’s _Edythe,_ Jasper,” She pushed at his arm. “I’m fine.”

           “I wouldn’t be so sure,” I snapped. Jasper intensified the false calm, but darted back to the house.

           “The Jeep is an innocent bystander,” Emmett reminded us. Then Rosalie tugged on his arm and it was just me and Alice.

           She turned and walked into the trees. After a moment, I forced myself to straighten up and follow. She didn’t stop until we were far from the house, where no one could hear. Well and truly alone.

           “Why? Why did you do that?” She knew what I was asking. Not why she had saved Bella – I couldn’t begrudge her _that_. But to see what would happen, she had to be looking.

           Alice heaved a heavy sigh. “Eddie, I’ve been seeing things.”

           I narrowed my eyes. “Like what?”

_It started with the crash._

           Flashes of me, saving Bella from the crash. Then the visions – me and Bella, sitting in my car together and laughing. Bella and Alice shopping together, arms around each other’s shoulders. These visions were accompanied with Alice’s warm anticipation. It was everything she had been hiding from me for the past few days. But I still didn’t understand.

           “What –?”

           And then, before I could say anything, the images switched to something altogether different. Me and Bella, wrapped up in each other’s arms. Her, stepping up on her toes, pressing her mouth to mine. I gasped, staggering back, but Alice pressed on, dark eyes watching me.

           Me, looking…happy. Bella and I, laying on a bed, reading. Her hand on my thigh and my arm around her shoulders. Us, doing much more than just reading.

           “No, Alice. _Stop_.” I was begging now.

_There’s more._

           Bella, her brown skin sparkling beneath the sun. Her silvery eyes turned blood red.

           “Alice!” I yelled. “What are you _doing?”_

           “She’s going to be part of our family.” Alice whispered. “There’s no point in waiting.”

           “No point in – Alice I don’t even _like_ this girl.” I shoved at a tree, sending it toppling over. “What is it about me that makes everyone want to pair me off? Maybe I _like_ being alone!”

_You’re being irrational. You saw the same things I did._

           I stalked up to her, leaning down into her face, nearly blind with rage as I spit the words. “I’m not _gay_ , Alice. It’s not going to _happen_.”

           She looked up at me stubbornly, arms crossed. Another vision assaulted me – the one of Bella kissing me. The vision-Edythe kissed her back passionately. For a single moment, I allowed myself to imagine it. I had never kissed anyone, so it was odd. I sagged.

           “Do you understand how that makes me feel, Alice? What you’re telling me…it’s impossible.”

           “I love her,” Alice stated. “I love her like a sister already. She’s funny, smart, beautiful – just give it a chance! That’s all I’m asking.”

           “You’re asking me to change who I am.”

           “No,” she cooed, grasping my forearms, stepping in as I stepped away. “I’m not. I’m asking you to give yourself a chance to be happy.”

           If I weren’t able to know how completely serious she was, I wouldn’t have been able to calm myself down. The future wasn’t set in stone.

           “Are you very angry with me?”

           I just shook my head, needing to get away. She saw where I was going, and there was a spark of hope in her thoughts.

           “You’ll tell them,” I predicted. No visions necessary.

           “I don’t have to. This can be between us.”

           “Liar.”

           I left her there, needing to get away from her smug victory. She was _wrong_.

           My feet took me where I needed to go without much thought. I had been by the Chief’s house before, purely on surveillance missions. He was a slow thinker, not really a threat. I knew where to go, just not exactly why I was going there.

           There was a window on the second floor. Inside, she breathed. Scaling the wall was easy, but the window squeaked as I pushed it open. I paused, but the slow breathing remained steady.

           The room was filled with her scent. My throat ached savagely. She was curled up on the bed, hair splayed around her. I watched, listening to her breathing, her heart. Waiting for whatever Alice had seen to come true. Nothing happened. I stood there for a long time, feeling the burn in my throat and fighting it.

           A battered copy of _Macbeth_ sat face down on her desk. I picked it up, glancing at the highlighted passage.

 

_“…Who could refrain,_

_That had a heart to love, and in that heart_

_Courage to make love known?”_

           It was hopeless, I told myself. Ridiculous, even for Alice. I flipped to the end of the play, remembering the lines I had studied so long ago.

 

           “ _Out, out, brief candle! Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts_

_and frets his hour upon the stage and is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot,_

_full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”_

           “Cold one.”

           I turned around, slowly. Her eyes were still closed, she was deeply asleep. I had never in my existence wished to hear another person’s thoughts so badly. “Cold ones,” she repeated. A line formed between her eyebrows. “Jacob…”

           Cold ones…I hadn’t heard that name in _quite_ a while. Billy Black was still alive, wasn’t he? He had children, I knew. Jacob. Jacob Black. So that’s what beach they had gone to. I couldn’t for the life of me guess why those legends would have come up. Unless…

           “Who did you tell?” I whispered, quieter than her breathing.

           Bella sighed in her sleep, and the sound was soft. I begged myself to move – closer, or father. But neither would happen. I was confusing Alice’s visions with reality – the little imp was getting in my head.

           The future wasn’t set in stone.

 

********************

 

           I woke up shivering. My window was open. I stumbled across the room to slam it shut before remembering the night before.

           Those men. Alice Cullen.

 _Give Edythe a chance…_ I shook my head, stomping to the bathroom and scrubbing my face raw. If I gave myself too much free time, I would start panicking again. I had barely slept because of it. The bag of heavy outerwear caught my eyes on the floor next to my dresser. At least _something_ had gone right last night. I would be traumatized _and_ warm.

            I yanked each new article of clothing out of the plastic bag, letting it drop to the ground. Something hit my foot with a papery whisper. A white envelope.

I picked it up, frowning. My name was written on the front in neat script. Had Alice slipped this in there? How could I have missed that? Hesitantly, I ripped it open, pulling out two tickets. Concert tickets. That band…the one Edythe had played in the car. Tacoma, next Saturday.

            Though I looked, there was no more information to be had. The tickets were the only things in the envelope. I gave myself a minute to turn them over in my fingers. It wasn’t _their_ fault I was so suddenly furious, so I resisted the urge to rip them in half. I grabbed my backpack, and teetered on the edge of a decision for several moments before shoving them into my backpack and going.

            The brief sunny weather had completely gone, but the dark clouds that seemed to threaten snow didn’t bother me as much as usual. Nothing could put me in a worse mood.

I looked for the silver Volvo in the parking lot at school, but didn’t see it. I didn’t even know what I would do if I _did_ see it.

             Eric and Jessica walked with me to first period, joyfully oblivious to my inability to focus. I hadn’t mentioned anything to Jessica or Angela. It was too _weird._ I wouldn’t have been able to explain to them what I couldn’t even explain to myself.

             I turned the details over in my mind, stuck in the puzzle that was the Cullens. My leg twitched underneath me during second block. I tapped my fingers on the desk until Jessica snapped at me to cut it out. Finally, at lunchtime, I was able to do something productive.

            They were all there. Alice and the guy – the one with curly blonde hair – both looked up at me as I approached. Edythe’s back was to me, and I wondered if she had any idea what was coming.

I gripped the straps of my backpack, trying to ignore the eyes I could feel on the back of my neck from my other friends.

            “Uh, Edythe?”

            I would have faltered under the gaze of any of them, but the prom-queen girl glared at me like I had just spit on her. The big one with black hair looked like someone had just kicked him under the table. I wrenched my eyes away from them, fighting the whim to turn and sprint home. Edythe turned, very slowly, and fixed me with a blank expression.

            “Can I help you?” 

            I could feel the line of the envelope inside my jacket pocket, wondering why I was doing this. Alice looked at me with pleading eyes. _We’re going to be great friends._

            “Can we talk?” I looked anywhere but at the blonde girl. “Outside?”

            Edythe heaved a sigh and stood, striding past me to the doors. I followed, glancing at Alice one last time. She smiled at me with petite, angelic features. I couldn’t reconcile her appearance with the story Jacob had told me. Was she some sort of cannibal? An inhuman monster?

            Edythe leaned against the wall just under the overhang, looking for all the world like a model for Adidas or Nike.

            “Are you alright?” She asked suddenly, looking as uncomfortable as I felt.

            “I, uh.” I took a deep breath. Why did I feel like this? It felt like more than nervousness. I realized I couldn’t open my mouth, and instead thrust out the envelope. At the very least, my hand didn’t shake.

            She took it from my hand with almost aggressive speed, pulling out the tickets. It didn’t look like reading – it was more like she was going to glare at the papers until they made sense to her. I waited for her to say something, anything. Rain began to fall behind us, pattering onto the gravel.

            “Well?”

            “What?” She held the tickets with such a tight grip that I was abruptly afraid she would be the one to rip them, after I went through all this trouble. “You don’t want these?”

            Was it not clear what was happening? I didn’t think I would have to explain it in so many words.

            “I was asking you to go with me,” I said slowly, blushing. She looked at the tickets again, mouth going taut.

            “Why?”

            I sighed. _Because your freak of a sister wants us to be friends? Because if we’re stuck in a car together maybe you’ll answer some of my questions?_ “You like this band, don’t you?”

            She appeared to think about it, then nodded.

            “Maybe, if you try really hard, you could have fun.”

            Edythe’s eyes went unfocused, like she was thinking of something else. Then she groaned and slid the envelope into her pocket. “Fine. I’ll go with you.”

            I didn’t know if I felt better or worse, but I was hungry, so I left Edythe to sulk outside and got in the lunch line.

            Annoyingly, though, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Alice, with her tiny body and crazy hair, seemed much more real to me than Edythe Cullen. It was something about her bronze hair, her eyes that changed color, her sour personality. The skin that seemed to glow. How she didn’t talk like other teenagers, slipping in and out of a strange dialect.

            I didn’t get her out of my head for the whole week, no thanks to Jessica’s constant pestering about why I was talking to a Cullen. The only interruption to my routine was a visit from Billy and Jacob Black. I got home from school on Wednesday to find a black van parked in my spot. Charlie’s cruiser was there as well, home early.

            Billy, as I already knew, was in a wheelchair. Long dark hair fell past his shoulders, like Jacob’s, only with some gray mixed in around the temples. He looked up at me from the kitchen table with dark eyes that shined with warmth. I hadn’t remembered him until this moment. Something in the light of his eyes made me recall the days spent on the reservation in my childhood.

            “Bella!” Charlie pulled me into the kitchen. “You remember Billy, and Jacob.”

            Jacob grinned at me. I smiled automatically. “Yeah, of course. It’s good to see you.”

            “That car doing you alright?” Billy’s voice was as deep as his eyes. Jacob had said he was a good storyteller, and I believed it.

            “Yeah,” Charlie said for me, turning back to the microwave. I could smell fish fry – Billy must have brought some up. “She’s taking it up to Seattle tomorrow, so that’ll be as good a test as any.”

            “Oh,” I hadn’t told him about the change in plans. “It’s Tacoma, now. I got invited to a concert.”

            “A concert?” Charlie asked, like he had never heard of one. “With who?”

            It was clear that he thought I had been invited by a boy. Jacob, too, raised an eyebrow. I sighed, thinking it was better to set the record straight than let Jacob think I was going on a date with Mike. “Edythe Cullen.”

            “Well, that’s great, Bells. She driving, then?” He asked, obviously not as confident in my car as he had told Billy.

            I just nodded, because Billy’s kind face was now set in a glare that startled me. Jacob glanced at him with a worried expression.

            Charlie pulled the plate from the microwave with a clatter, and the look was gone. “Would you look at the time? Billy, were gonna miss tip-off.” He strode off to the living room, Billy right behind him. I relaxed, sinking into the chair next to Jacob. Thank God for sports.

            “Did you see that?” I whispered. Jacob just shook his head.

            “Superstitious old man, I told you.”

            “He’s really that scared of some teenagers?”

            Jacob nodded, “He won’t say anything, though. He had Charlie got into a big fight last summer when Charlie heard some of us weren’t going to the hospital because of Dr. Cullen.”

            “Really?” I bit my lip, thinking. “He _really_ believes it?”

            Jacob nodded, giving me an odd look. “Why?”

“No reason.” I lied, unconvincingly. Jacob didn’t notice.

“What have you been up to? How’s school?”           

            Where to start? “It’s fine,” I told him. “Easy.”

            “Do you watch basketball?” He nodded to the living room. I scoffed, insulted.

            “Wanna go for a drive?” His eyes glinted mischievously.

            I hesitated, looking for an ulterior motive. But then he gave me that smile, and I scolded myself for comparing him to Mike or Eric in any way. Charlie and Billy barely noticed that we left, running through the rain to the dryness of my car. I let Jacob drive it, pulling my feet up on the seat and leaning against the door.

            “Have you been through the Park yet?”

            Olympic National Park, massive and full of mountains. Hiking trails, too, probably.

            “No, I haven’t.”

            “Do you smoke?”

            “No?”

            He glanced at me sheepishly. “Do you mind if I…?”

            “Go ahead,” I said, curious. He rolled the window down and produced a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. I tsked at him as he lit up, pulling onto the road.

            “I know, I know. Bad habit.”

            Some of the smoke drifted toward me, with a very unique scent that I recognized immediately. “Smells like the car.”

            He looked sheepish again. “Yeah. Billy can’t get out to the garage without help. Working on this was the only time I could get away.”

            He patted the dash affectionally.

            “When did you start?”

            “After Rachel moved out,” he exhaled, smoke trailing from the window. I remembered he had sisters – Rachel and Rebecca. “You wouldn’t believe how hard it is living with Billy.”

            I nodded as if I understood, but something caught my eye. Upon lighting his cigarette, Jacob had rolled up his sleeves, exposing sharply defined biceps and triceps. His face, it seemed, had lost some of its roundness.

            “Have you been working out?”

            He laughed. “No, but thank you.”

            I rolled my eyes. “You just look different, is all.”

            “I’m very mature for my age, Bella. Wise beyond my years, they say.” He puffed on the cigarette dramatically.

            “Height doesn’t equal intelligence, you know.”

            “You would say that,” He grinned at me. “I would have provided a stepladder with the car if I knew how grown up you _weren’t._ ”

            I couldn’t think of a good comeback, so I crossed my arms and stared out the window. This just made him laugh harder, and he drew me into a conversation about music. I told him about the concert I was going to, and he promptly denounced all things indie rock. I was equally put off my his favorite genres, house music and classic rock, so I made him talk about his friends, instead.

            He told me about the stupid things they did out of boredom and too much testosterone. I asked him if he hung around any girls, to balance it out. He got shy, then, and wouldn’t give me a straight answer.

            We drove around the outskirts of the park, which was admittedly gorgeous. I really needed to get out more. As the sun lowered over the horizon, the light faded and it felt like the cab of my truck was the only thing in the world.

            Jacob was, easily, my favorite person in Forks. With the exception of Charlie, perhaps. Everything was so easy, so comfortable. Like we had been friends for years. I was disappointed when Billy phoned that it was time to leave.

            “He doesn’t know you smoke?” I guessed as Jacob hastily hid the paraphernalia in his pockets and steered us toward the house.

            “And he can never know,” Jacob grimaced. “I’d never hear the end of it.”

            “Charlie would kill me,” I muttered. “I’m an accomplice now, you know.”

            “Eh, there’s not much Billy can do. He relies on me too much.”

            “Sounds like you’ve thought about this a lot.”

            He chuckled. “Gotta keep one step ahead of the enemy, Bella. That’s your first lesson.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Stephanie Meyer, for giving us all the courage to use classic literature as overbearing foreshadowing fodder. So easy, so simple.  
> This story surprised me about 112 pages in by demanding a rewrite, so that's what I've been doing. Some things will be different, as I'm sure you've noticed. Because this is NOT a rewrite! Call it a ... beterwrite. I don't know. School is over for now and I'm a shell of a human.  
> Bookmark for updates because I'm not so great at scheduling. And leave comments if you enjoyed!


	4. Straight girls don't listen to indie rock

I had only ever been to one concert. It was with Renée, in California, and the band had been around for decades. I had been the youngest audience member there by about twenty years. So I didn’t really know how people were supposed to dress at a concert like this one.

There was an unfamiliar sense of…competition. For some reason, probably her withholding personality, I wanted to impress. Should I curl my hair? Wear a dress? What would she do? I couldn’t imagine her having to try very hard to look good. _I_ , however, was lucky to find a pair of jeans that still fit.

After looking desperately through the bag of clothes I thought I would never wear again, I pulled out a dark orange scrap of fabric, sliding my arms through the sleeves and tying it in the front.

A girl back in Phoenix had dared me to buy it on one of my rare shopping trips, but even alone in my bedroom, it felt ridiculous. I turned this way and that, trying to decide if it was worth it. It did have long sleeves, so if Charlie saw me he might only have a stroke instead of a coronary.

My hair fought me every step of the way, so after a spray and a tease I left it to do its own thing. Then, on a ‘what would Jessica do’ whim, I dug for what little makeup I owned and applied some silver liner to my lower lid. It was something I had only seen other people do, so I was surprised when it actually looked good.

I dug up some wedged, ankle height boots and tied them on. They gave me a bit of height, without the added risk of tripping me.

Well, less of a risk.

I paced the length of my room, biting a nail. It _had_ occurred to me that Edythe might just not show up. She hadn’t spoken to me outside of class that week, and even then only to talk in pinched sentences about the lesson at hand. No love lost there.

I was sure Alice – wherever she was – was thrilled.

It seemed all my worrying was for nothing, because there was a knock on the door at exactly three o’clock, and a shiny Volvo was visible from my window. Early. That was good. Charlie was still at La Push, due home any minute, and I really didn’t want him to see what I was wearing.

I opened the door, looking at Edythe’s olive green windbreaker, zipped up all the way. A chilly breeze blew past her, and I realized my mistake too late. The forecast had said _sixty_!

“You ready?” She asked in a bored voice. I abandoned the idea of running upstairs to change, mostly because I didn’t need to give her any more ammunition to make fun of me. No, I would just have to grin and bear it.

“We’re going to be early,” I said, trying to keep my hands from shaking as I locked up. The concert didn’t start until seven, and it was only a two-ish hour drive to Tacoma. Two hours with Edythe Cullen. Alone.

“You’ll be hungry,” she said shortly. The way my stomach was starting to churn, I really doubted that. There was a long silence as Edythe started the car and drove toward the interstate.

I studied her glum expression with trepidation. “You’re going to make this awful for me, aren’t you?”

“Could you be more specific?”

I counted to five, closing my eyes. “There must be _some_ reason Alice thinks we would be such great friends.”

“Friends,” she scoffed under her breath. I opened my eyes.

“What is it about me that you hate so much?”

“I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t _like_ me,” I pressed. She shrugged.

There was another extended silence. I tried to distract myself with my phone, catching up with the pictures Angela and Jessica were sending to our GM of them getting ready. It didn’t take long, and by the time we hit the interstate I was going stir crazy.

“I’m going to kill Tyler Crowley,” I offered to the silence.

The barest hint of a smile reached her lips. “Why?”

“He’s telling everyone we’re going to prom together. I’m just caught between pushing him down a flight of stairs or running him over – it has to look like an accident. Then again, Charlie might help me cover it up…”

“I heard about that,” she said with a smirk.

“ _You_ did?”

“Naturally,” she sighed. I didn’t know what that meant, which grated my nerves. We were far enough now that I doubted she would turn the car around, so I decided to go for it.

“I’ll make a deal with you.” She raised her eyebrows. “If you answer my questions, I’ll leave you alone. For good.”

Edythe did that odd snorting laugh. “Okay.”

“Alice,” I started. “What’s her deal? Why was she in Port Angeles last week?”

“She knew what was going to happen to you.”

I had tried not to think about it, but her words made me shiver nonetheless. “You mean she saw me and… and those men. In the street”

“Not exactly.” Edythe heaved an annoyed sigh. “I mean she sees things. Things that will – _might_ – happen.”

“Are you telling me that she’s psychic?”

She just nodded, sending my frustration to new heights. Once again, it seemed I was being made fun of. A blue minivan merged to get out of our way. Edythe sped past.

“You got me. I’m laughing,” I deadpanned. Her expression didn’t change. “And she thinks we should be friends because she ‘saw the future’?”

“Something like that,” Edythe muttered, frowning at my finger quotes.

“And you don’t agree with her.” I didn’t phrase it as a question – it was obvious.

“Something like that,” she said, even quieter. I seethed.

“You know, I’m only here because of what she said. I don’t find you very pleasant, either.”

Edythe broke into a grin, startling me. Her teeth were straight and white, and it was so abrupt and perfect that I lost my train of thought.

“I’m so glad we understand each other,” she smiled. My frustration subsided slightly.

“Why is she so invested in this? These tickets must have been expensive.”

“She likes you.”

“She doesn’t even _know_ me,” I argued. Edythe shook her head.

“My sister, if nothing else, is a very determined person.”

Another car moved from Edythe’s path. “So, Alice can see the future, and you have super strength. Is that all?”

She didn’t say anything, but her hands gripped the steering wheel too tightly, at odds with the mask of ease on her face. I racked my brain, trying to form my next question.

 _The cold ones,_ Jacob whispered to me. Billy’s eyes, in my kitchen. Cold, black, angry. Afraid.

I took a deep breath.

“Are you human?”

Her eyes went sort of wide, and she looked at me with interest. At least, something that approached interest. “Why would you ask _that_?”

Her tone – sharp, defensive – gave it away.

“You’re fast. Strong. Your eyes change color. Your skin…”

_It warped their existence. Made them immortal._

“My eyes?”

“They were dark, when we…met. The day of the crash, they were gold. They’re somewhere in the middle right now. I don’t know why.”

She gave me another look, sizing me up. I wrung my hands.

“It’s because of my diet.”

I studied the road in front of me. The diet. Another one of my questions.

Yet another car swerved to avoid us. That was the third. My eyes drifted to the speedometer.

“Holy _shit!”_

“What?” Edythe cried in response, tensing.

“You’re going a hundred and ten! Are you trying to kill us?” The trees on either side of the road blurred into a green wall of death. I gripped the handle at the top of the door.

“Calm down,” she said, relaxing slightly. We slowed down a _little,_ but the speedometer hovered over the one-hundred mark. “I’ve never even gotten a ticket.”

“I don’t see how that’s possible,” I grumbled, not relaxing my grip on the handle.

“Built-in radar.” She tapped her temple.

“Huh?”

Her hand dropped, face twisted into a scowl. “This is how I always drive.”

“My dad’s a cop. I was raised to abide by traffic laws.”

She said something under her breath and the car slowed to eighty-five. I could breathe again.

“I hate driving slow.”

“This is slow?”

“Enough about my driving,” she snapped. I decided to let it go, glancing at the speedometer intermittently. Her mood was so mercurial I was starting to wonder if there was just something wrong with _me_. Was it rude to question someone’s humanity? Maybe there was some sort of inter-species etiquette I had missed out on. Perhaps Jacob had another legend that would help in a situation like this.

“So, you have a new theory, I take it?” She asked, eventually. I looked over, and her face was once again smooth and composed. Tawny eyes glanced over at me once again, no trace of the former irritation. “Well?”

“I think you’ll get upset.”

A flicker of emotion. “I think I can handle it, Swan.”

I thought about it for a moment. “I was at the beach last week. First Beach. Have you been there?”

She gave me the tiniest shake of her head.

 “I ran into an old family friend, Jacob Black. His dad is one of the Quileute elders.” I tried to sound flippant while I watched her carefully. “He was telling me some old legends. He told me one…”

“Go on.” Her smile looked forced.

“About…cannibals.” The word fell awkwardly from my lips. It didn’t sound real. I thought her knuckles tightened convulsively on the wheel, but it was hard to look away from her face. Jacob said they didn’t have blood – but Edythe had a pink undertone to her skin. Her lips were a natural, flushed red. I wondered if she was as cold as Alice.

“Cannibals,” she repeated. The tone was teasing, but something about it was as strained as her smile. “And you immediately thought of me?”

“No. He mentioned your family.” Her face fell into the mask again, and I was abruptly worried about protecting Jacob. “It’s not like he even believed what he was telling me – it was all a story to him. I convinced him to tell me.”

“Why?”

“I…was curious about you. For obvious reasons.”

“Obvious…” She shook her head. “So you think I’m a cannibal?”

I shook my head slowly. “No…”

I was fixed with a sullen glare. “Spit it out.”

“He said –” I paused, again worried about Jacob. “The story said something about a treaty. The cannibals swore they would never kill a human.”

I somehow felt like I was getting closer – like the cracks in her composure were getting bigger. “I was just wondering how a cannibal is still a cannibal if they don’t eat people.”

The pause that followed was long, so long it scared me a little.

“Maybe cannibal isn’t the right word,” she said. The cracks in her mask were widening. I could feel it.

“Are you going to hurt me?” It hadn’t occurred to me to ask before then. Another etiquette rule missed. I was terrible at this.

She snorted, breaking the tension. “Wasn’t planning on it.”

“Even if I annoy you?”

“If that was the case, your number was up the moment we met.”

I bit my tongue, about to ask her what that meant. I was so out of my depth with this _psycho_.

She glanced at my face. “I really won’t. Alice would never forgive me. We at least have to make it to the concert.”

“What do you eat?”

The car sped up a little, speedometer twitching back toward triple digits.

“The same as you. Animals.” She looked over at me. “Specifically, animal blood.”

Blood. Less of a theory, then. More of the truth. I suddenly didn’t want to talk about it. I needed a reprieve.

“Are you excited?” I asked, then cringed. It was painfully, pathetically obvious to me that she didn’t want to be there _._  “I mean, you like concerts, right?”

  
Edythe shrugged, switching tact effortlessly. “I only go to concerts when I really like a band. Alice knew I would want to go before she bought the tickets.”

“And you really like this band?”

She nodded. “I do.”

I looked through my window for a moment.

“Do you listen to a lot of music?” She asked, surprising me.

Somehow, the conversation was civil for the rest of the trip. It wasn’t as horrible as I expected. It _probably_ wasn’t even as bad as the dance would have been. Edythe was slightly less terrible to me when the conversation was about normal stuff. I hadn’t expected we would have so much – or anything – in common, but we had the same taste in music. We also, oddly enough, both enjoyed reading the classics. We argued over the best adaptation of Pride and Prejudice for a good while: I preferred the Kiera Knightly movie, and she was adamant that it was best performed on stage.

I was a little shocked when we arrived in Tacoma a full half-hour early. Surely Edythe wasn’t driving _that_ fast.

Just as she had said, I _was_ getting hungry. My stomach grumbled as we passed a McDonald’s. I pointed it out, but Edythe shook her head.

“I’d prefer somewhere that’s passed a health exam,” she said, nose wrinkled.

“What’s wrong with McDonalds?” I watched it go by sadly.

“Smells bad,” she muttered, whipping the car into the lot of a much nicer place without seeming to look for it. I guessed she had been here before.

To my dismay, it was getting colder. I followed close behind Edythe’s tall form, hoping to block the wind that was tearing at my face and midriff. Thankfully, it was warm inside, and no one looked at me funny when the hostess led us to our table. Probably because they were all staring at Edythe. Even in a zipped up jacket, she glowed with a supernatural beauty.

They sat us in the back corner, which should have made it harder for people to stare, but really just had them craning their necks to murmur about us.

“People like the cheeseburger the best,” she said, watching me.

“Have you been here before?”

“No,” She leaned forward on her elbow, clearly enjoying my confusion. I busied myself in my menu, stomach complaining.

A tall blonde guy appeared at our booth seconds later, speaking in a booming voice that made me jump

“I’m Adam, I’ll be your server tonight. Can I get you something to drink?” He stood at an angle, talking only to Edythe. She waved a hand in my direction.

“Coke,” I said, when he grudgingly looked at me.

“Two cokes,” she amended, smiling at him.

“I’ll be right back with that.” He was far too eager. I rolled my eyes as he walked off.

Edythe continued to look at me, tilting her head to the side.

“Did the questions run dry already? Was my side of the deal satisfied so easily?”

I blinked. Who _talked_ like that? But she was right; I needed to use my carte blanche while I could.

“How about the rest of your family?” I asked, lowering my voice. “Do they see the future, too?”

The server reappeared, setting down our drinks. He turned his back on me again to look at Edythe.

“Are you ready to order?” He asked her. She didn’t even glance up, eyes still locked on mine.

“Swan?”

The server turned unwillingly toward me.

“Cheeseburger and fries,” I said, passing the menus over. “Thanks.”

“And you?” He looked at Edythe again.

“Nothing for me,” she said evenly. He walked away disappointed, and Edythe finally broke eye contact, looking instead at the other patrons.

“My family… is like any other, for the most part,” she mused. I noticed the odd way she emphasized _most part._ “Alice can see the future. Jasper can feel what you’re feeling, and even manipulate it.”

I suppressed a shiver. “How?” It was barely a whisper, but she heard me.

Whatever my expression was seemed to disappoint her. “Are you going to start running soon? I don’t want to waste my time.”

“Didn’t Alice tell you what I’d do?” I tried for bravado, but my voice wavered ever so slightly. She exhaled a laugh, shaking her head.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“You asked.”

I swirled my straw around my cup, staring into the bubbles. “So it’s just you? The super strength?”

“No,” she snorted. “The strength comes with the territory.”

“What?”

She leaned forward, raising an eyebrow. “I can read minds.”

I looked around at all of the people in the room, hoping against hope this was all some kind of prank.

“You can read minds.”

“Yes.”

“Okay.“ I threw my hands up in defeat. “What am I thinking right now?”

She frowned and sat back, crossing her arms. “That’s the problem with you, Swan. I can’t hear you at all.”

“Why not?”

“It’s just one of the reasons…” She looked away.

“One of the reasons what?”

“Nothing. Just something I can’t figure out. I usually understand people pretty quickly, their motivations, desires, etcetera. But you do things that confuse me.”

“ _I_ confuse _you?”_ A few people turned to look at my outburst, and she smiled. Her eyes went a little unfocused.

“Our lovely waiter Adam is about to come back. He’s going to ask me again if I want food – he hates when women feel like they can’t eat.” She made a face. “Some minds are better than others.”

The waiter rounded the corner in my periphery. I pulled myself from the crystalline depths of her gaze, realizing we had been leaning toward each other unconsciously. She straightened, dropping her gaze and frowning.

He set my burger in front of me – it looked amazing.

“Did you change your mind?” he asked Edythe. “Isn’t there anything I can get you?” I may have been imagining the double meaning there.

“No,” she said, just harshly enough that he wouldn’t try again. He turned away.

“That doesn’t prove anything,” I said distractedly, starting on my fries.

“You asked how you confuse me?”

“That’s not what I said,” I grumbled.

“The first was you confronting me in the hospital, in front of Carlisle,” she continued. “I didn’t get why you would keep quiet about me in front of everyone but my father. Did you know about us? Were you just biding your time to get Charlie and the police on your side? Laughable, now, I know.”

I glared. I _could_ have done all that. If I’d wanted to. I wasn’t a total idiot.

“And then you rejected three different people to the dance. I listened to everyone around you that day, trying to see if you had told. It wasn’t that I was so interested in your plight as Miss Popular,” she rolled her eyes. “But my gift wasn’t so convenient anymore. I wanted to figure you out.”

“Is that why you’re here now?” I asked.

“Not at all. As usual with Alice, her…abilities make trouble as often as they help. Things got more complicated when she stepped in.”

“How?”

“Well she had been forming her plan for a while. She guarded her thoughts around me, and I was too distracted by the mystery of _you_ to really pry.” She paused, making me self-conscious as she watched me bite into the burger. “She sees the future, sometimes, as fact, and it can be hard for those living in the present to accept it. Does that make sense?”

I nodded, although it really didn’t.

“And then you brought me those tickets.” She huffed a laugh. “I knew it was coming. I saw it in Alice’s thoughts when she slipped it into your bag after – after…” she faltered, looking unsure of herself. “I never said how glad I am that she got to you in time.”

I felt myself start to blush. Edythe noticed. “Don’t take that as a compliment. I saw what would have happened, and…” she grimaced. “I’m not good at this.”

“At what?”

“Talking to you. I can’t hear what you’re thinking, so I ramble on as I try to anticipate what you’re going to say, never giving you a chance to _actually_ respond, which is the only thing that could actually clue me in to… I’m doing it right now.” Her jaw clenched.

“Rambling’s good,” I assured her. She had never spoken this much at one time. “Gives me time to chew. The tickets?”

“Right. You seemed so reluctant to speak to me in class, and her visions flickered as you struggled with your decision. I was sure her plan would fail. But you did it. And I tried to drive you away, and you threw it right back in my face.”

She seemed to get lost in her thoughts for a moment, then abruptly pushed my empty glass to the side, giving me her full one.

“We’re going to be late.”

“I thought you couldn’t see the future?”

 

*********************

 

We walked across the street, toward the Tacoma Dome. It was a gigantic structure, white and curved and dwarfed only by the mountain in view just behind it. Mount Rainier was white-capped and massive, so far away but looming over the city like an avenging titan. I shivered as the wind blasted us, and this time Edythe noticed.

“Just take this,” she muttered, unzipping her jacket and shrugging out of it. “I can’t watch you shiver all night.”

I ignored her despairing tone, looking at her outfit in shock.

“Alice made me wear it,” she said, thrusting the jacket at me. “Leave me alone.”

“I thought _I_ looked ridiculous!” Underneath, she was wearing a mesh t-shirt. It swayed down to the waist of her leggings, showing a toned stomach and the black bralette she wore underneath. I pulled the jacket on, not bothering to ask her if she would get cold.

The jacket, I noticed, smelled very, very good.

The noise of the crowds was loud outside the stadium, and even louder inside. We scanned our tickets and I tried to keep up as Edythe strode off toward the stairs. Hundreds of people milled around, filling every space. Vendors called out, advertising beer and cotton candy. It was all I could do not to lose sight of the shiny copper head in front of me. A lot of people – guys _and_ girls– cast interested or even alarmed looks at Edythe. I tried not to be one of them.

“How much? How much did she spend?” I asked as we descended the steps. It was _massive._ Floor seats in this stadium must have been $300 each, at _least_. And that was right where we were headed.

“When it comes to bothering other people, money is no object,” she said over her shoulder. I was forced to crowd behind her as a group of women passed by us. Her hair swayed, hitting me with that same sweet smell from the jacket.  

“You make her sound so diabolical.”

“Have you not been listening?”

We found our seats through the closely packed rows on the floor. Ours were on the edge, which I liked. Edythe’s talking streak seemed to have died out, so I killed the little time we had left by people-watching. A few minutes before the show started, two girls took the seats in front of us. One of them looked so much like Jessica that I had to look twice. It wasn’t her, of course, but the straight brown hair and long nose were almost exactly the same.

It reminded me of another question I had.

“Hey,” I said over the noise, leaning over. “What did you do to Jessica to make her hate you so much?”

She looked confused for a second before understanding crossed her face. “Mike Newton sort of had an obsession with me when we moved here. It was a hit to poor Jessica’s ego.”

“He liked _you?_ ” I gasped. “I mean – if he liked _you_ then I don’t understand what he sees in me.”

She made a noise that could have been a laugh or a scoff. “You don’t see yourself very clearly.”

I opened my mouth to respond when the lights suddenly dropped. The stadium filled with cheering, and I stared up at the stage. The opening act strode out, a band I wasn’t familiar with. Only some people stood up, so I sat in my seat, swaying along a little. None of their songs stood out to me, but they weren’t awful.

Finally, the music died down. There were a few minutes of tense quiet, and then the lights died again. The cheering from before grew into a single-minded roar, and the opening note of a new song reverberated through my head as everyone on the floor jumped to their feet.

Unlike the concert I attended with Renée, this stadium was full of young people. The floor was full of writhing bodies. Everyone, including me, screamed the lyrics along with the band. They were incredible live –  just as good as what was recorded. Even I was dancing – no easy feat – and letting my body just move to the music.

I glanced up at Edythe from time to time. She was sort of swaying, with her eyes closed, and singing the words lowly to herself. I caught some of it, and her voice was one of the loveliest sounds I had ever heard.

It was hard not to listen, and even harder to tear my eyes away. Pink, orange, blue and purple lights flashed and strobed across the stadium. They all jumped right off of her skin, like some sort of disco ball. Looking at her for too long was like watching a 3D movie without glasses. No one else seemed to notice, but it made my head spin.

They played my personal favorite, a song called Loveland. As I sang along, tears pricked up in my eyes. I was starting to understand why people liked concerts so much – it was like a religious experience, a sermon led through sound and light.

The next time I glanced away from the stage, the Jessica look-alike and the girl she had shown up with were kissing. Or maybe kissing was too decent a word. Not-Jessica wound her fingers through her companion’s hair, pulling their bodies together. It didn’t _bother_ me, I just…couldn’t stop looking. I stared, transfixed. As the song ended, they broke apart, leaning their foreheads together and giggling.

Abruptly, I wondered if Edythe had seen. I didn’t dare look at her, stomach twisting in knots.

The next song began, their most popular one, and the stadium erupted anew. It was infectious. I jumped and screamed, wondering when my voice would give out. It went on and on, and the crowd never lost its fervor. The band came back for an encore – twice.

I was disappointed when the last note faded out, even though it had been nearly three hours. My throat burned from screaming, and I would _never_ doubt Alice again.

The lights all came on at the same time, the bubble of anonymity in the crowd popped. It was disorienting. I looked up at Edythe with a smile.

Without a word to me, she started walking. Everyone shuffled around in a post-concert trance, moving toward the exits at a sluggish pace. Except for Edythe. I struggled to stay behind her as she parted the sea of people.

The ringing in my ears was just audible under the hum of the crowd. People pushed in all around me, and I nearly lost sight of her a few times. What if she didn’t wait for me? Would it really be so out of character for her to leave me here?

I wouldn’t give her the chance. I pushed through a few people to grab onto her hand. She jerked away, looking back in surprise, but I held on tight. It gave me a sick sort of satisfaction to think that I was the one making _her_ uncomfortable for once.

After a tense second, she tightened her hand around mine and pulled me so I was walking right behind her. Through the mesh of her shirt, I noticed two small dimples on her lower back.

Her skin was like ice.

It seemed like a damn eternity passed before we made it outside. I sucked in cool air, hoping it would clear my head.

“That was great,” I said breathily. My voice was hoarse from the screaming. Edythe dropped my hand. “What did you think?”

“Loud,” She said fondly. “It _was_ great.”

“You didn’t think it would be loud?”

“It’s nice to balance out the voices in my head with some on the outside.” I caught up to her side, probably because she had slowed down for my sake.

“What do you mean?”

“It was very loud in that stadium. So many voices…but they all tuned into the music in the same way. Imagine being in a crowded train station. Everyone is speaking at the same volume, their words echoing off of every surface.”

I nodded. “Sure.”

“Now imagine they all begin to hum the same note, at the same time.”

I thought about it. “That sounds nice.”

She didn’t answer, and when I looked back she was smiling wistfully. I didn’t know how to keep her talking. I _liked_ it when she talked. She was so…fascinating. When she wasn’t being rude, that is. Even if she was talking about freaking mind control.

I wanted to know more.

“You never told me how –“

We were almost to the car, so naturally that’s when I tripped. My stupid heeled shoe caught on a bump in the road, and I fell forward with an undignified squeak.

Edythe’s shape seemed to blur, and in that same instant I was no longer falling. Instead, I was leaning in to her, chest to chest. She had one hand around my upper arm, the other placed on my waist. I was hit by that same insanely good smell from her hair and jacket.

Our faces were inches apart. She was beautiful – angelic in the light of the streetlamps. My breath puffed into clouds. Hers didn’t. The single moment that she held me seemed to last a lifetime. My heart beat each beat like it was the last, and my throat dried up like the Phoenix desert. I realized, jarringly, that I very much wanted to lean forward.

“You’re a vampire,” I gasped instead. It had been in the back of my mind all night, nebulous and terrifying. I wanted her to laugh in my face, and tell me I was wrong. Maybe it would make me feel better about…about wanting to lean forward.

Instead, she let go of me very abruptly, and I stumbled back a step or two.

 

********************

 

“But they called you cannibals,” I said, breaking the silence. Neither of us had spoken since getting back in the car.

“The ‘vampire’ is an Eastern concept,” she said quietly. It bothered me that she hadn’t looked at me. “Natives wouldn’t have known the word back then.”

I tried to pretend that my skin wasn’t still buzzing from proximity to her. I didn’t think about her hands, strong and secure around my waist. I didn’t think about why I wasn’t thinking about it.

“Why do you drink animal blood?”

“It was a choice. One that Carlisle made a very long time ago. It’s a choice we all had to make, when he turned us. We do it because…because in a lot of ways, it’s easier. Without the stress of the hunt, or competition, we can live as a family. Form real connections with each other.”

“When he…turned you?”

“A bite,” she informed me.

“Did you ask him to?”

I felt her eyes on me, and it made me feel…

“No. I was dying. He saved me.”

It was very dark, and very late. Nearly midnight.

“I was born in 1894, in Chicago.” She paused, I imagine, to see if I had a reaction. I looked down, hoping my hair hid my face. “My father died of illness when I was young, leaving my mother and I a failing jewelry shop. Things probably would have improved had I married, and God knows mother tried at matchmaking, but I made things very difficult.”

She had slipped into that dialect she sometimes had, of a far off time and place. It was sort of hypnotizing. I pictured her in Edwardian clothing, hair curled and cheeks red.

“I was disinterested in settling down – after all, I was young. Nineteen. There was still time...” There was a slight pause, where she sighed gently. “It didn’t matter, because my mother fell ill. An early wave of sickness that would eventually become the Spanish Influenza. After a few days, I contracted the same symptoms. It progressed quickly, and we were taken to the hospital. Then the morgue. We weren’t dead, but we were dying. I remember being lucid enough to see her, in the cot next to mine, and the doctor leaning over her. There wasn’t supposed to be anyone in the morgue – it was essentially a quarantine for cases like ours.

“The next thing was… pain. The worst agony in human experience. I was changing. The doctor, Carlisle, had been convinced by my mother that I needed to be saved. She had known, on some level, what he was, and begged him to save me. No matter what it took.

“Later, he told me he did it because I had a kind face.” She laughed shortly.

When it seemed like she wouldn’t say anymore, I looked up. Her expression had no place on a teenager. Her eyes were so much older. A hundred years older.

“Say something,” she whispered.

“I had a good time tonight.”

“No,” she laughed bitterly. “Don’t say _that_. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I’m thinking…you’re interesting. For an old woman.”

Her laugh was shocked, and she took her eyes from the road for far too long to regard my expression, which I hoped was serious.

“I can see why Alice likes you so much. You’re nearly as infuriating as she is.”

My heart sped up. Her smile turned to a pained grimace and she looked back to the road.

Something was happening, and I didn’t understand it one bit. There was no trace of the competitiveness I felt earlier. I felt…I felt terrified of her. Could she feel it?

It was almost one when we pulled up to Charlie’s house. My hand gripped the door handle.

“I really did have fun.” The words left my mouth of their own accord. It didn’t feel like I was the one speaking them. The mood was suddenly tense, and I didn’t know if it was just in my head or if it was really there.

Looking at her was a mistake. Her eyes, dark and shadowed, held mine with a magnetism I had never felt before.

“So did I.”

I got out of the car, hating that she sounded so surprised.

“I won’t say anything. I wouldn’t do that.”

She nodded. “I know.”

Her car was gone when I looked back from the doorstep. There was an emptiness in my chest, a sort of relief from exertion. It wasn’t exactly pleasant.

I braced myself to talk to Charlie, but he was snoring loudly on the couch. I threw a blanket over him, and it wasn’t until I disturbed the air that I realized the sweet smell of the jacket was still affecting me. I managed to stave off the hyperventilating until I got to my room, closing the door and throwing the jacket on my bed.

I had just spent the night with a vampire.

Vampire. There really was no getting around it. She was a vampire, and I had wanted to _lean forward._

The thought seemed to kick something into gear in my chest, and it was suddenly stifling hot, so I pulled off the stupid top. The ratty old thing I pulled on in its place felt much better, clearing my head of the pervasive scent. There was no way I could fall asleep right now, not this keyed up.

I texted Jacob, taking deep breaths.

Incredibly, he answered me.

 _You shouldn’t be up,_ it read. I could almost hear the mocking tone.

 _Let’s go for a ride._ I kicked off my heels in favor of slides while I waited for an answer.

_I’ll have to sneak out, but it’s not like Billy can chase me._

I waited by the front door, nearly pacing in my anxiety. The air closed in around me, sitting too heavy in my lungs. Charlie snored deeply. I tried to match his breathing with my own. When headlights flashed through the window, I opened the door as carefully as possible and ducked into the cool air.

“You okay?” He asked warily. I wondered if I looked as crazed as I felt. Jacob’s presence only took the edge off of my hysteria, which wasn’t good enough. I was going to explode.

“I just had the weirdest night,” I said, throat still raw.

“Care to explain?” He put the car in park and sat back, facing me. Clearly, I had pulled him out of bed. He wore a gray shirt and a baggy pair of sweatpants. The riotous frission grew a little, angered at Jacob’s calming influence.

“I went to that concert. With Edythe Cullen.”

“Oh,” he frowned. “Was she mean to you?”

“No.” My palms were damp. I wiped them against my pants.

“Bella.” Jacob sounded worried now. “What happened?”

His dark skin was welcoming in the light of the dashboard, hair pulled back into a braid. His arms were muscular – even more so than they had been earlier that week. Definitely working out, then. He didn’t look seventeen. Something about him pushed me to a boiling point.

“Do you like me?”

“What?” His eyes went wide.

“Do you like me, Jacob?”

“Of course I do. You’re – “

I kissed him. The urge seem to come from nowhere and everywhere, bursting out of me like a dam.

Jacob gripped my arm _,_ and I wrapped my hand around his neck in response. Warm breath huffed against my mouth. It overwhelmed me, pulling me forward.

I opened my mouth, tasting his lips on my tongue for a split second before I was pushed back, gently but firmly. Jake looked like he’d been hit by a truck.

“Shit,” he said in a strangled voice. “Shit, Bella.”

Crushing despair descended around me.. Not because he had stopped me, but because of what I was realizing. It had been warm, sure, and somewhat nice.

But completely wrong.

 “Oh, no.” I drew my knees to my chest in the small space, moaning. “Oh _no_.”

“Bella?” Jacob tried to pull my hands away from my face. “I’m sorry… I couldn’t – I can’t –“ He gave a frustrated sigh.

“Bella, I’m gay.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gave up on indents, which sucks but oh well. Thanks everyone for reading, and thank you so much for the wonderful comments and kudos! There should be another chapter up this weekend so stay tuned!


	5. Move, we're gay

Alice was right. About everything. I had tried, _so_ hard, to fight against those visions. Turns out, it was pretty hard to dislike someone when you had already seen yourself in love with them.

I hadn’t even lasted two weeks. And it had gone farther than _feeling_ – I had even told her, compulsively, about my past, vampires, my _mother_ ….

But what was the point in hiding anymore? It all seemed so hopelessly inevitable.

No. There _had_ to be a way.

I approached the house far too soon, driving faster than usual. Esme flipped through a book in her bedroom, Carlisle wrote in his study. Alice and Emmett were on a television binge. I heard someone, probably Alice, tapping their foot incessantly. She was waiting for me. I didn’t care.

The concert would have been a nice experience, were it not so perfectly tailored to be the most horrible torture I had ever experienced. Her voice, loud and jubilant in my ear. The sweat and heat making her scent come off in heavy waves, until I could hardly hear the music. _Holding_ my _hand._

Agony.

I walked inside, tossing my keys on the table and avoiding four pairs of curious eyes.

“How was she?” Rosalie said snidely.

_I saw you catch her._ Alice said with approval. _So romantic!_

Emmett and Jasper mouthed bets to one another.

I sat at the piano, setting my fingers to the familiar keys and playing a simple tune. It wasn’t particularly happy, but as I played it became more intricate. More Wagner than Arrau.

Carlisle paused up in his study, and Esme closed her laptop. They always loved when I played.

_Edythe is composing again?_ In that moment, Rosalie dropped her guard, and I saw. I saw why she hated Bella so much.

The next chord fell flat, and I turned on the bench to look at her.

_I will hunt you like a dog_. She sounded the slightest bit panicked.

With Rosalie, it was always about vanity.

Esme appeared in the short quiet, laying a hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t stop, Edythe.” _It’s lovely._

I played my frustrations out into something new. It was too angry, too baroque. No, I would have to work on it

_Oh, my sweet Edythe._ Esme sighed. _Why do you look so sad?_

“I don’t know,” I murmured.

_Give it time,_ she thought. _Let yourself adjust to this. It’s a big change, and that won’t come easy. Even to us._

I nodded shortly, occupying myself with refinements and key changes. If I really focused, I could catch traces of her scent on my clothes, like freesia or cherry. That I could discern distinct notes in the smell of her blood would have been laughable to me three weeks ago, when it just burned.

“Did you at least enjoy the concert?” Alice plopped herself on the bench next to me as Esme returned to her work. She was organizing the schedule for an upcoming benefit, trying to fit in an unexpected guest speaker.

Alice huffed impatiently.

“Edythe,” she whined. “You _always_ do this.”

“What is it I do?”

“The dramatics. The moping. The _playing piano.”_ She plinked the highest key for emphasis.

“C’mon, leave her alone.”

“Shut up, Emmet. Like you aren’t dying to know.”

“Like you didn’t see it already,” I said, playing slightly louder.

She started playing a disjointed version of Chopsticks that pushed my hands out of alignment. “I know what happened. I want to know _why_.”

“You wouldn’t understand.” There was a very minute scratch on the piano housing that I had never noticed before. Tiny, but rather irritating.

_Better than you think_. She flashed me a memory – her first one.

“ _Alice_ ,” I hissed. She always had a way to get under my skin. Her first memory after awakening; a vision of Jasper’s face. It had come with such an overwhelming sense of security and love that she had known within seconds of waking up where she had to go. “Quit it.”

_Times have changed, Ed. That sort of thing isn’t a problem anymore._

 “I know that,” I bit out, looking over at the familiar, doll-like features. Bright clips held on haphazardly in her short hair. I tried to see something different, to call forth one ounce of the attraction I imagined myself feeling for Bella. Nothing.

Only a deep annoyance.

She threw her head back and groaned. “Oh my _god,_ Edythe. Just tell her how you feel.”

“No.” I slapped her hands away and started playing again.

“What if she likes you back?”

I abandoned the new piece, switching over to the cacophony of a late, atonal Liszt.

Alice pushed the image of Bella as one of us, immortal and beautiful.

“I’m not talking about this,” I sang along with the staccato, quickening the pace of my fingers until any human listening would have become nauseous.

“What- _ever!_ ” Alice leaped up, balling her hands into fists. “Wallow in it for all I care.”

_Jazz gets my money if you yell back,_ Emmett thought. _Be cool, be cool._

Alice actually stomped her foot. “I’m just trying to be a loving, _caring_ sister.”

“That’s a nice change.”

“You’re an _idiot_!” Alice yelled, stomping off through the back door.

“Hear, hear,” Rosalie murmured.

 

********************

 

 

Gay? _Gay?!_

 Jacob slumped back in his seat, sighing deeply. “I like guys.”

“Oh,” I breathed. “O-okay.”

“Does that – is that a problem?”

“No! Of _course_ not,” I sputtered fervently. “I just didn’t…didn’t expect that.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” he laughed quietly, looking down at his hands. “ _I_ didn’t really expect you to kiss me.”

That was fair.

“I think…” I didn’t see how saying the words out loud could ever be possible, but Jacob deserved to know why I was acting like a crazy person. “I think I like Edythe.”

“Really? Like… _like_?

I nodded meekly.

“ _That’s_ why you kissed me?” He burst into laughter. “You’re having, like, a gay panic.”

“A _what_?”

“It’s just, like, the moment you realize how you feel. It can be scary.”

“I’m not gay,” I blurted. “I _can’t_ be gay. _Stop_ laughing at me!”

“Sorry.” He stopped, though it looked like it took some effort. “I just went through the same thing, is all.”

I pulled my feet up, resting my chin on my knees. “Was it scary for you?”

There was a long pause. He looked hesitant, and I almost backed down from my question. Maybe it was too personal.

“Not exactly…” He started. “I was pretty young. Just looked at one of my friends one day and…I don’t know.”

Another pause. I didn't know what to say. It would have been _nice_ to know I was gay before I was hit over the head with it like this.

"Are you okay?"

"No!" Wasn't that obvious? It wasn't supposed to happen like this.

“You _are_ really pretty,” he said slowly. I frowned. “It was a really good kiss –“

"That’s not why I’m upset!” I smacked his arm. It was like hitting a boulder. “Idiot.”

He raised his hands. “Hey, I’m the victim here.”

Count on Jacob to make me laugh, even when I felt like I was about to burst into tears. But the laughter couldn’t last forever.

“What do I do now?” It wasn't like this revelation had made my situation any  _better_.

He took my hand, winding our fingers together between us. Even though we had just kissed, it felt…normal. Like touching him grounded me, somehow.

“Do you think she likes you back?”

I shook my head. “No way.”

“How do you know?”

“She made it pretty clear.”

He tapped his fingers on the wheel. “She went to a concert three hours away. With you. An _indie rock_ concert. You’ve definitely got a chance.”

A chance. I didn’t want to think about what that meant, even though my heart sped up at his words. “What about you? Is there a guy…?”

“Sort of? He’s kind of a jerk.”

“Then why do you like him?” I couldn’t fathom how anyone could be mean to Jacob.

“He’s…” He glanced at me and shook his head. “It’s so weird to be talking about this, sorry.”

“Tell me about it.”

He smiled. “He’s just…different. He treats me different. It’s not even that he’s such an ass – that’s usually just an act. It’s…”

“Frustrating,” I supplied. He nodded. “You like him in spite of the act.”

“Exactly.” I got a strange look for that one. “Anyway, I’ve known him for a long time. I would know if he was gay.”

“Does everyone know that _you’re_ gay?”

“Just you,” he grinned, squeezing my hand. “And maybe Billy, I don’t know. It’s not like we’ve ever talked about it.”

“I won’t say anything,” I promised.

“Neither will I. Although it _would_ be funny to see the look on Billy’s face when he found out you liked a _Cullen_.” His face lit up at the thought, while I cringed.

“Do you wanna hang out longer?” He asked, glancing at the clock.

“No, its okay. Sorry for dragging you out here.”

“Anytime, anytime,” he grinned.

“And assaulting you.”

“Wasn’t so bad,” he said thoughtfully. “It’s one of those stories we'll tell our grandkids.”

“You’re such a dick.”

 

           

********************

 

School was the most tedious experience of the past century. She was like a _magnet_. I obsessively skipped from brain to brain – bypassing the nonsense about the dance; _God_ were the people of this town boring – to see if Bella had mentioned me.

She was with Jessica. Her eyes looked tired, like she hadn’t slept well.

_“…and then we went out to eat. He totally paid for dinner, too.”_ The _dance_ , ugh. I had no patience for it, and tuned most of it out, waiting for flashes of Bella’s face. She looked interested in Jessica’s babbling, but I knew in my frozen heart that it was impossible for anyone to find meaning or purpose in the life of Jessica Stanley.

Not that it mattered in the least. I wouldn’t let myself like her.

_Like._ Everything in me rejected the word, ached to see her. To speak to her. I took that part of my mind and tried to make it as small as possible. It distracted me for a while.

Emmett was uncharacteristically quiet in Spanish. It was the worst time for him to be so, because I _needed_ a distraction. Bella was in Trigonometry, now. With Mike Newton. I tried to ignore them both, but the part of my mind I had forcefully shrunk kept careful track of their conversation.

And that very small part took over as I caught a particularly pointed thought about Bella.

_Ed, what’s up with you?_

My hands had gripped the sides of my chair of their own accord, nearly molding it to the shape of my fingers. Mike was imagining Bella naked, and things he could do to her naked body. Every line of my body went taut.

_EASY,_ Emmett had to yell to break through my stupor. There was a quiet cracking sound as my fingers threatened to snap the chair in half. He gripped my upper arm. To anyone else it may have looked as though he was trying to comfort me, but he was using all of his strength to hold me in place. He didn’t do it often – there was rarely a need, as he was the strongest vampire we’d ever come across – but used it now to squeeze me hard enough that pain lanced up my arm.

I flinched, blinking myself back to reality, and he let go. Only a few people noticed our exchange, though they didn’t think much of it. The Cullens were freaks, nothing new.

“Remember to breathe, dude,” he said under his breath. I sucked air into my lungs automatically.

_What is it?_ He was concerned, obviously.

“It’s nothing.”

_Right._

Another thought hit me, and I squeezed my eyes shut in disgust. “I want to rip Mike Newton to pieces.”

He chuckled. “You didn’t seem to mind him last week.”

True. I didn’t mind it when he was thinking about Jessica Stanley, so why were his fantasies about Bella so hard to ignore? Teenage boys were by and large the same, when it came to sex. This one, though, was really pushing his luck.

“Funny how life works.”

_So you, like, full on like this chick?_

I didn’t blame him for being curious. It was rare that something this big happened to any of us, and when it did we were all able to talk about it. I was being withholding, shamed by my own inadequacy.

“Alice told you everything, huh? The visions?”

_I had to bribe her, but yeah._ He was apologetic. _I’m happy for you. It’s a good thing, I guess. Fun to see Alice get all worked up, at least._

“Thank you, Emmett,” I whispered sarcastically. “I’m trying to focus.”

I turned to planning the ways I could dismember Newton that would cause him the most pain. It was a surprisingly enveloping fantasy.

The bell rang, and Emmet and I walked to the lunch room in silence. Keeping a human pace was easy for me today; my attention was across campus, where Bella was beginning to walk this way with Angela Weber.

Against all logic, I started to panic. What should I do? Did I talk to her? Did I act normal? I didn’t know what normal was anymore, and sped up, eager to get to my table and look normal. Emmet had to grab my arm to slow me down.

_I’ve never seen you this worked up._

I jerked my arm free.

Alice started looking at her visions as soon as we entered the room. To catch me up, I presumed. Bella hadn’t made her mind up on whether or not to talk to me. Good. I didn’t want her to.

When I sat at the table, Alice crossed her arms and did not speak or think in my direction. Still pouting, then.

_You’re emotions are all over the place,_ Jasper thought, like _he_ was the mind reader. I looked at him. _Something I’m sure you’ve noticed. It creates a pattern of irrationality, especially in the beginning. The finding of a mate is one of the few things that can really change us._

“What’s the other one?”

A flash of Alice’s smile. _Losing them._

He was right. I had noticed. Even witnessed it firsthand.

Long ago, I had expressed doubts to Carlisle about my new life, rebelling against the point of preserving humanity when we were already damned. In response, he had taken me to the Volturi.

I immediately found them repulsive. They were ancient, skin desiccated from centuries of sitting on their ridiculous thrones. They welcomed Carlisle with a warmth belied by their obvious interest in my gift. Aro, in many ways their leader, went so far as to encourage me to satisfy my interest and stay with them for a while.

They only sought power, and the single minded focus was detestable to me.

We had witnessed a rare execution. Mates, a man and a woman. They had been breeding newborns in what we would later learn was an attempt to take over a city in Mexico from a coven Jasper was a part of. Carlisle didn’t want to watch, but his fear of losing me trumped nearly everything else.

The man had been first. I heard his thoughts as he died, and it was horrible. What was even worse was the mind of the woman, who was like a wild animal at that point. Her mind had slipped into a sort of insanity I didn’t like to think about.

Carlisle's plan had worked: I no longer felt as though I was a monster. Not while the Volturi lived.

A second and a half had passed, and I was still staring at Jasper.

_She’ll be here in one minute,_ Alice thought very loudly. _Better make your mind up. I can’t see while both of you are so indecisive._

"Get used to it," I whispered.

“C’mon, guys,” Emmett whined. “Stop doing that.”

I dropped my eyes.

“Are you talking about Bella?” He asked. _I hate being left out._

“Nothing too dramatic,” I told him, lightening the mood. The dark memories were strange to me now, as though seen through a different lens. Technicolor, where before there had been only black and white. “Alice agreed I should dismember Mike Newton.”

“Did not,” She muttered.

“What did _he_ do?” Jasper asked.

“He likes Bella,” Emmett sang under his breath. I kicked him. “Ow!”

“I’ll help,” Rosalie said. We all blinked at her in surprise. “With the dismemberment.”

This was her olive branch. I recognized that.

“I’ll go to the office, sneak his address.” I shrugged. “We can go over there tonight.”

“Guys,” Emmett said, looking very serious. “Please. You’ll need a getaway car.”

“And a lookout,” Jasper added.

“And we’ll probably have to kill any witnesses.” I glared at Alice pointedly.

“Witnesses?” She smiled sweetly. “I’m not witnessing anything. I’m sitting with _Bella_ today.”

My good mood vanished.

 

**********************

 

I sat in my seat, trying for normal. We all had to police our physical appearance; breathing, blinking, fidgeting. If we didn’t, the humans grew uneasy. Smiling, for example, was risky. Our teeth were too sharp and too bright, and even when the humans couldn’t put their finger on exactly _why_ , they were frightened of us.

So to worry about my hair was irritatingly adolescent. I pulled out my textbook and opened it to the topic I heard Mrs. Banner thinking of. I heard _her_ coming down the hall with Mike. The words on the page stared back at me blankly and without meaning.

“Hey,” came the quiet contralto of her voice. I looked up, regretting it immediately. Her face, seen with my own eyes finally, was beyond description. Like staring at the sun.

“I know I promised I wouldn’t talk to you anymore, but how was the rest of your weekend?”

Well, I couldn’t just ignore her. “Boring.”

“Mine, too,” she said, pulling out her book. Every movement radiated more heat. “I didn’t have much of a voice after the concert.”

I remembered _that_ very clearly.

“Why did Alice sit with us today?” She asked finally, getting to the point. I dreaded what was coming.

“I’m not sure.”

 “She invited me to a…benefit thing. She said your mom is throwing it.” Her eyes were as indecipherable to me as a cloud of fog. I gritted my teeth.

“She’s just organizing the schedule, actually.”

Her eyes narrowed very slightly.

Metal screeched against metal as Banner pulled down the screen. The projector warmed up to reveal the title screen of a video. Just as well. Sitting next to her in silence was at least marginally better than watching Mike do it from across campus.

My mind was changed the moment the lights went out. Though the darkness in no way hindered my vision, it suddenly felt as though all the air had been sucked out of the room. She leaned forward on her arms, focusing on the screen. I focused on her scent.

In some ways, it was like sitting near a fire. The heat crackled in waves and bursts as she breathed and moved. Her heart sped up without explanation at one point, and then slowed. I tracked the dust particles, lighting up as they passed over the projector beam.

Unintentionally, I had focused every facet of my attention on her. It was simply the only thing I was capable of doing. My world had narrowed down to one single point, and although there was one part of my mind – the one that used to be the majority – that was irritated at my lack of propriety, I simply couldn’t fight it. I no longer wanted to. That was the worst part.

And I wasn’t alone in my feelings; Mike watched the back of her head from across the room.

_I don’t understand why she doesn’t like me. Jess is fine, I guess. But Bella is so cool…_

I shifted away from his mind, uncomfortable. Was I no better? Was my interest as entirely unwelcome? She _was_ nice to him, even if she rejected his advances. She was mostly nice to me, too. Not that I had made any advances.

 I was disgusted with myself, both for being comparable to Newton at any level, and for caring in the first place.

The ringing of the bell jarred the class back to life. The movie played on, and I gathered my things as quickly as possible while Banner mentally damned all of modern technology.

“Wait!” Bella called after me. I stopped in the hallway, dread pooling in my stomach. She followed, struggling with her bag and pushing hair out of her face. “Are you going?”

“Going?”

She nodded. “To the benefit. Thursday.”

“No.”

“Alice said you were.”

No. She didn’t say that. But Bella didn’t _know_ that I knew that…did she? She knew I could read minds. She didn’t exactly know about my enhanced hearing. Did she…did Bella _want_ me to go? Or was this a test?

I couldn’t _know._ Uncertainty didn’t pair well with a century of omniscience.

“Alice says a lot of things.”

Once, and only once, I had tried to get Alice to go into a thrift store. The look on Bella’s face now reminded me of that.

“Okay. Fine.”

I had never felt cold in my second life until she was walking away from me.

 

***********************

 

Jacob seemed to have a preternatural instinct for cheering me up. If he hadn’t invited me to this bonfire thing, I would be wallowing in bed the whole night.

I drove to La Push, listening to the radio. I got to see Jacob today – that was a _good_ thing. There was no reason for me to feel so bad about myself. It was just Edythe getting under my skin. I was going to the benefit with Alice, and I would have fun. Probably. She sort of scared me.

I was early, and the sun was still up, but I didn’t know if I could find my way in the dark. Charlie’s instructions led me to a small red-wood home, and Jacob burst through the front door as I cut the engine. He was wearing baggy sweats, but I could almost swear he had gotten _bigger_ since Saturday. The definition of his arms was visible even through his sweatshirt.

“I thought I heard that truck,” He wrapped me in a warm embrace, setting me on the ground. “I think you woke Billy up from his afternoon nap.”

“If it’s loud, then it’s your fault.” He scoffed at me. 

“That’s debatable.” He glanced back at the house. “Come this way.” I allowed him to grab my hand and pull me toward the sidewalk that led behind the house. Among the closely-grown trees was a sort of metal garage.

We ducked inside through a small opening in one of the heavy doors, and I realized that the trees had hidden the size of it – it was easily big enough for two cars. In the middle of the wide space, on top of a tarp, was a motorcycle. At least, the husk of one. The outer layers had been removed, showing the shiny metal interior.

“Sorry for the mess,” he said, kicking some tools out of his way. “I’m in the middle of a project.”

“I hope you’re going to sell that.” I cast the bike a fearful glance. Even with parts missing, it was huge.

“I’ll have to fix it first.” A few folding chairs sat around an old, stained recliner. Jacob fell into it, rocking slightly. “So. What’s up with you?”

“Alice Cullen invited me to a charity thing.”

“Nice! I told you she liked you!”

I sat. “I like _Edythe_ , Jake. Alice is her sister.”

“Oh.” His eyebrows drew together. “Oh, yeah.”

“Anyway,” I laughed. “I asked Edythe if she was going, and she said no. So I don’t know what that means.”

“Maybe she’s busy or something.”

“She was acting weird about it. I think she still hates me.”

“No one could hate you, Bella.” He sounded so _sure_. Then again, he hadn’t met her. I was pretty sure Edythe could find a way to hate puppies.

“What about you?” I asked, changing the subject from my humiliation. “Any luck with that one guy?”

He went a little bit somber. “You mean Paul?”

“Is Paul the possibly-gay jerk?”

“That’s him alright. He’s…” He sighed. “It’s nothing.”

“C’mon, you can tell me.”

“I think – “

We both looked up at the sound of approaching voices. The light outside had faded, leaving Jacob and I in the comfortable glow of an overhead hanging bulb.

“I was wondering when they would show up,” he said quietly.

“Who –“

The walls reverberated loudly as someone rapped their fist against the metal doors.

“Can we come in?”

“Yeah!” Jacob shouted back. “Sorry in advance,” he told me as two boys rounded the corner of the open door.

One was slender, almost as tall as Jacob, and nearly as muscular. His black hair was wavier, chin length and half-pulled up into a bun at the top of his head. The shorter boy was still tall, but stockier and well-built. A white shirt strained over his chest, a fact he seemed gleefully conscious of. His hair was shorter, brushed back with some sort of product.

“Hey, guys,” Jacob said, swiveling in the chair. The taller one cast his eyes between me and Jacob, and the shorter one just stared at me, a slow grin spreading over his face.

“Hey, Jake,” he said, smiling at me. I felt myself smiling in response to his impish expression. He winked. “Hey there.”

“This is my friend, Bella,” Jake said, emphasizing the word _friend._ “Bella, this is Quil and Embry.”

“Hi,” I waved. “Jacob told me about you.”

Quil and Embry, I didn’t know which was which, exchanged a glance.

“You’re Charlie’s daughter?” The taller one asked.

“That’s right.” It was nice to be Charlie’s daughter instead of the Police Chief’s.

“I’m Embry,” He said, sizing me up.

“And I’m Quil,” the shorter one followed. I smiled wider, half laughing at the dumb and dumber act and half giddy to be meeting Jacob’s friends.

“Nice to meet you.”

“They started the fire,” Embry said to Jacob, nodding in the general direction of the beach. “You better get out there before all the food’s gone.”

That got Jacob up. He helped me out of mine unnecessarily, and we held hands as we walked toward the beach. Quil and Embry exchanged looks again. I held back a grin, glad to play whatever part gave Jacob the edge with his friends.

The lights in the house were off now. I guessed Billy had left.

“I hear you’re friends with the Cullens,” Quil said, walking backwards to wiggle his eyebrows at me.

“Not exactly. What, do you believe those legends, too?” I wasn’t sure what made me add the last part.

Quil just shrugged, which made me think he might. Jacob rolled his eyes. I smiled back, but there was a twinge of guilt. I shouldn’t be keeping secrets from him, even if he did technically _know_ the truth already. I told myself that what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him – unless he was running around the woods dressed like a deer part-time, he was safe from them.

“What kind of party is this?” The dirt road ended, and we were walking through the sand, trees beginning to thin. I could hear the ocean ahead, as well as the murmuring of many voices.

“Just the old men looking for an excuse to grill out and get drunk.” Jacob said. “I wonder who Billy got to push him down here,” he grunted, stepping over a dip in the gravel.

“I saw Seth rolling off with him,” Embry said. “You’re sort of a disappointment as a son, Jacob.”

“I think he didn’t want to interrupt you two.” Quil made kissy faces at us. Jacob smacked him on the back of the head.

Light flickered through the trees, blinding orange with blue and green flames flickering at the tops. Jacob dropped my hand quickly when we were in view of the fire, and I looked around, wondering which face was Paul’s.

There were about twenty people around the large fire, some sitting on the logs around it, some on blankets farther away. There were plenty of older people, lined faces and elegant gray hair blowing around heavy coats and blankets wrapped over shoulders. There were younger people, too, though still older than me and Jacob. Some children ran around the sand. Billy was sitting in his chair, about ten feet back from the fire. He waved, smiling at me. All the antagonism in his face from the last time we met was gone, now replaced with a warm familiarity.

Jacob led us toward a card table I hadn’t noticed. There were hot dogs, buns, pokers, and soft drinks. Jacob grabbed a poker and stuck four hot dogs on it.

“One of these is for you,” he said. He had to bend down to speak in my ear. “I’m nothing if not a gentleman.”

“So kind of you.” I grabbed us some buns, and two bags of chips.

Beside Billy was a large quilt. A younger boy sat cross-legged in the shadow of his wheelchair. He grinned as I sat next to him.

“Bella, this is Seth Clearwater,” Jacob said, handing a water bottle to his father. “He’s like the little brother I never wanted.”

“Hi,” I crossed my legs beneath me, mimicking his position. “I’m Bella.”

“Hi,” he said shyly, looking down. He couldn’t have been older than fourteen or fifteen – still caught in that awkward, gangly stage.

“Bella,” Billy said. “How’s school going?”

“It’s going. I was in advanced placement in Phoenix, so everything’s a little slower here. Slow’s good, though.”

“Glad to hear it,” He said, turning to conversation with an older man with gray hair.

I sat next to Seth in comfortable quiet as Jacob took his poker to the fire, standing next to Embry and Quil. People looked at me curiously, but I felt very welcome.

I noticed a group of men stroll up to the fire and sit on an empty log, talking to each other quietly. People cast them glances, but it was different from how they looked at me.  

“Who are they?” I asked Seth. He looked up, and shrugged.

“Sam Uley and his friends. They’re older than me.”

I took a closer look, and realized only one of them was actually a man. The other two reminded me of Jacob in that they looked both young and old at the same time. All three could have been prime athletes, nearly as big as Edythe’s brother.

I could hear the timbre of their voices, but the breeze whipped the words away. One of the younger two, perhaps the most muscular, looked irritated. His hair was cut sort of like Quil’s; longer on top and brushed back, complimenting a defined jaw and thick eyebrows. His dark eyes flicked to Jacob and stayed there.

“Do you know their names?” I asked Seth, trying to sound casual.

“Paul Lahote and Jared Cameron,” He said quickly. “I just know their names from school.”

Jacob sat next to me a few moments later, sliding the steaming dogs into their buns. He seemed put out about something. I wondered if the sudden appearance of Paul had anything to do with that. I felt less sure about encouraging Jacob toward Paul now that I had seen him – he looked sort of threatening.

I ate my one hot dog while Jacob ate the other three, and then two hamburgers later on when someone brought a steaming tray of grilled patties. Quil and Embry drew me into a pre-existing argument and tried to turn me against Jacob. Quil even managed to trick me into destroying my own argument, leading to Jacob and Seth repeatedly bonking me on the head with their pokers, chanting ‘ _Judas! Judas!’._ I laughed until my stomach hurt.

Once, I looked up to see one of the three big guys, the muscle-y one, watching me. His eyes were tight and his mouth was set in a frown. I cringed away from our eye contact, setting my head against Jacob’s shoulder. This set Quil and Embry off in another fit of giggles, but I didn’t care.

Jacob must have been blocking the breeze from the ocean, though, because I got so hot sitting next to him that I had to take off my coat and jacket. Cue more laughter.

It was strange – before coming to Forks, I never would have thought I’d be having fun on a freezing, rocky beach. It was mostly because of Jacob, I realized. It wasn’t just that he was always so happy to see me, or that he didn’t watch me out of the corner of his eye, waiting for another opportunity to ask me out. It wasn’t even our shared secret. It was just _Jacob._ He seemed to be a perpetually happy person, and he carried that happiness with him like an aura, sharing it with whoever was near him. Something I desperately needed in my life.

The ambient sounds of low voices mixed with gleeful children and the crackling of the fire sent me into a happy daze. One second, I was leaning against Jacob, watching the flames. The next, I was being shaken awake. There were less people around the fire, and the food table had been taken away. Seth and Billy had gone.

“Did we bore you to death?” Jacob asked. Something about my face had Quil laughing. I rubbed my eyes.

“What time is it?!”

“Almost ten,” Embry said, laying back in the sand. I groaned, getting to my feet.

“Walk me to my car?” I asked Jacob. He nodded.

“See you, Bella!” Quil called, waving at us. I waved back, genuinely sad I had slept through most of the evening.

“What’s the hurry?” Jacob swung our entwined hands. “Charlie have you on a curfew? Aren’t you, like, forty?”

“He’s probably worried.” I patted my pockets. “Shit. I think my phone is in the truck.”

“Sorry. We didn’t want to wake you up. You were snoring.”

“I was not.”

I looked at him, hardly able to make out his face in the darkness. Only the faint light from the houses ahead guided us, yet he walked with a new grace that didn’t fit his large frame.

“Was Paul at the bonfire?”

His hand flexed around mine. “Yeah.”

“What was with the Hanson act? Who were those guys?”

“Sam, Paul, and Jared.” There was a unique tone of bitterness to his voice that surprised me. “They hang around each other all the time now. It’s…I don’t know. It’s weird.”

“How so?”

He hesitated. “Sam’s a few years older than you. Twenty three now, I think. He went away for school for a few years, but last summer he came back…and just stayed. That’s normally something everyone would be gossiping about, and Billy’s the worst gossip on the West Coast. But he didn’t say a word. Just treated it like the most normal thing ever.

“Sam just sort of sulked around town. Got married to Seth’s cousin Emily, which was weird because she’s so nice and outgoing. I sort of forgot about it all.”

“Until?” I didn’t like how unsure he sounded.

“Until last week. Right before you, uh, _sexually assaulted_ me in the car.”

“Moment of weakness,” I teased, bumping him with my shoulder. He laughed once.

“Last week, Jared Cameron went missing for two days. A guy from my class. He didn’t go to school, and I walked in on Billy and Harry talking about the bait shop, so I know he wasn’t at work. They weren’t worried at _all.”_

“But you were?” I guessed. His hand was tight around mine.

“Embry was. They were friends. So, Jared shows back up and his hair is shorter and he’s just following Sam around like a lost puppy.”

“Did he say what happened?”

Jacob shook his head. “He wouldn’t talk to Embry about it. Embry said he just got really pissed off and started avoiding him.”

“Embry seemed fine tonight.”

“He’s good at compartmentalizing.” He chuckled, then sighed. “Then the same thing happened to Paul.”

We were back at the truck. I faced him, taking his other hand without thinking.

He cleared his throat, speaking quietly. “Before, he was sort of mean to me, but it was just us messing around. It was funny, and he never _meant_ any of it. We were friends. Sometimes, I thought, y’know, maybe it could be... But when I tried to talk to him…”

I clutched his hands, hating the pain in his voice. “What did he say?”

“He told me to leave him alone. He said I should stay as far away from him as possible. And it’s like he _hates_ me, and I didn’t even do anything. It just makes me so _mad._ ”

His hands shook, face contorted in a grimace.

“Jacob,” I wrapped my arms around him. His whole body was shaking, like crying almost. I _hated_ Paul. The strength of my anger surprised me.

“Tonight at the fire was the first time I’ve seen him since he said all that.”

“What do you think it is?” I whispered. “Should someone tell Charlie…?”

He shrugged. “I doubt Charlie could do anything about it. It would probably just cause another fight.”

I stepped back. “Maybe you _should_ stay away from him.”

He shook his head. “I don’t know if it’s that easy.”

“Why not?”

“Because…” He broke off, looking anywhere but at me. There was fear there, I realized, and Jacob’s fear became my fear. “Because sometimes I catch Sam _looking_ at me. Like he’s waiting for something…like I’m going to join his stupid gang someday. He pays more attention to me than anyone else.”

“You don’t have to join anything,” I snapped, anger bleeding into my voice. Jacob rolled his eyes at me.

“I know that.”

“And you told Billy about this?”

“Yeah,” he snorted. “That was helpful.”

I raised my eyebrows.

“The elders are supposed to be equals,” he explained. “But if there was a leader, it would be my dad. I’ve never been able to figure out why his opinion is the one that matters. It’s something to do with my great-grandfather, or something. But it doesn’t matter, because to Billy, Sam can do no wrong.”

“What did he say?” I pressed.

“Some bullshit about ‘you’ll understand some day’ or whatever. Like I’m going through a second puberty or something.”

I hugged him again, breathing in his woodsy scent. “You can always come live with me and Charlie.”

There was a pause, and then he laughed into my hair. “If this is how you react, I’ll freak out more often.”

I sighed, pulling away reluctantly. “I should get home soon. Sorry for falling asleep on you.”

He grinned a wide, toothy grin, but his eyes still looked afraid. “How about I call you when the bike is finished? I’ll take you for a test drive.”

“I don’t know if I trust your mechanic skills _that_ much.” I patted the hood of the truck. “This is risky enough for me.”

He rolled his eyes. “Goodnight, Bella. Text me when you get home.”

“Bye, Jake.” I climbed into the cab, throwing my coat into the passenger side. Then I remembered my phone, digging around and finding it wedged into the seat. To my surprise, there were no missed calls from Charlie. I guessed he wasn’t too worried about me down here with Billy.

I drove carefully through La Push, glancing around at the small houses. What _was_ going on down here? Disappearing teenagers, the old men hushing it all up. I wondered if Jacob was more scared than he was letting on, or if I was overthinking things. Jacob was _Jacob._ He wouldn’t do a thing he didn’t want to. Stubborn, like me.

The cold had seeped into my bones, and I shivered the whole way home, despite the car heat on full blast. White light from the television shone through the living room curtains.

“Hey, Dad, sorry I’m late – “

He waved away my explanation from his spot on the couch. “Billy called me. You and Jake are getting pretty close, huh?”

I didn’t look, busying myself with hanging my coat on the rack, but I understood the hopeful tone in his voice. Wouldn’t it be perfect for him if his daughter and the son of his best friend ended up together? I did love Jake, already, but not the way Charlie wanted.

“Why are you up so late?”

“Worked late, stayed up to watch the game.” He sat up, scratching his head. “I wanted to tell you – don’t go out to the Park alone. Or even the woods in town, for that matter.”

“Why?” I asked, as though me going into the woods was an even remote concern. “What’s up?”

“We had a hiker run in today. Said he saw something big out on the trails – a bear, maybe. He was scared out of his mind, poor guy. I was at the station all night, taking down his report”

 “Oh. You know I don’t hike.”

“Just wanted to let you know.” His nose wrinkled. “You smell like a bonfire.”

He was right. I did. I headed for the stairs. “Goodnight, Dad.”

He grumbled the same after be, caught between sleep and the last quarter of the game.

I threw my campfire clothes into the hamper and turned on the shower, as hot as it would go. It burned my skin, but I didn’t stop shivering for a while. I thought about Jacob’s situation, and my own.

It looked like Jacob and I had a type.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I love writing Jacob so much. He's just the best boy. Is it just me, or would Billy and Alice get along great?


	6. Self-medicating

“What’s up?” Emmett asked. “We haven’t had a family meeting like this since Jazz and I broke the school.”

He leaned across the table to bump fists with Jasper, both thinking of the time they had gotten too competitive at school and bet on a game of dodgeball. It had ended with a ball lodged in the ceiling, and a few beams of the roof collapsing onto the gymnasium floor.

“You mean when you _ignored_ me telling you what would happen?” Alice cut in, leaning forward.

“You were being cryptic,” Rosalie snorted. “Like always.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose as Alice nearly leapt over the table with her rebuttal.

“Three minds in one.”

Quiet. Alice slumped back to her chair.

Carlisle’s mind was blank with shock for a full half-second. Esme was immediately concerned, along with Rosalie, while Emmett was just intrigued. Something in what I said frustrated Alice, but the aggravation was immediately obfuscated, like she had changed her train of thought…

“Where did this happen?” Carlisle said intently.

“I was…near Bella’s house.”

Emmett tried to catch Jasper’s eye, but he was busy thinking about a fight. Great.

“I was, um, about to go talk to her when I heard…” I shrugged, looking at the table top.

“Are you quite sure?”

“It was exactly the same.”

“I don’t understand,” Esme clutched Carlisle’s hand. “I thought this was over.”

“We’ve coexisted, on and off, for nearly a century,” Carlisle said slowly, recalling the warriors. _So long ago_. “The only thing that could cause this is more of us.”

I had hoped he wouldn’t say that.

“You mean strays?” Emmett’s eyes twinkled dangerously.

“I would have seen that,” Alice protested, but her mind was doubtful. She was missing something.

“We were gone for forty years,” Rosalie said, unusually somber. “It’s us.”

Esme cast out for any other reason, unwilling to believe we could be the cause. “We’re not a threat.”

“Because we don’t involve ourselves,” Rosalie looked at me. “Until now.”

I doubted things were that…specific, but she had a good point.

“Let’s go check it out,” Emmett suggested, standing up. “Find a trail.”

Jasper’s mind flicked over to something I didn’t like at all.

“It might be dangerous,” he cautioned. _What if we get too close and they attack?_

“They would only attack if you crossed the treaty line,” I said reflexively. “Attack, or bite a human. Those are the terms.”

We all sat in our thoughts for a few moments, and for once I was only focused on my own. This changed things. This… this was the _worst_ possible scenario.

“That was a long time ago,” Jasper’s voice was hard, thoughts persistent. “Is their memory as good as ours?”

“We haven’t caught any trails on this side of Forks. If it’s true, and there are new ones, they’re keeping their distance from us,” Carlisle mused. _Perhaps a meeting is in order…_

"Bella's been hanging out there. With Jacob Black," I blurted, ignoring everyone's mental comments on it. "Is she in danger?"

"If he's a Black, then it won't be long." Carlisle fixed me with a look. _You can't tell her. It could be seen as a breach._

“Okay, then.” My limbs buzzed with an unnamed emotion I had never quite felt before. “We should go look.”

“I’ll go with you,” Carlisle said quietly. He was curious, and didn’t trust Emmett not to start a fight.

Jasper didn’t say anything – most likely due to Alice’s iron grip on his knee. She didn’t want a fight, either.

I stood up, and Alice’s mind switched tracks instantly.

“Be back before six, Em,” she said quickly. “I have to dress you.”

 _Dress_ him? “What?”

“The benefit,” Alice said, turning her eyes to look at me balefully. _You really are too far gone._

I blinked. The benefit. I had lost track of the days – Bella was like a _sickness_ in me – but if there was one constant in this world, it was that Emmett _never_ voluntarily dressed up.

“ _You’re_ going?”

Everyone gave me matching expressions of confusion.

“We’re all going,” Rosalie glanced at Alice. _I thought you were a_ mind _reader._

“You’re _all_ going,” I repeated. “Jasper?”

“Uh, yeah,” He said, not meeting my eye.

“We all want to meet Bella,” Emmett grinned. “Share baby pictures, stuff like that.”

I squeezed my eyes shut. They were all traitors. _Traitors._ I couldn’t just let them go _talk_ to Bella all night. God knows what they would say.

“If you _did_ decide to go,” Alice said in that irritating voice of hers as the future morphed into the one she wanted. “I _may_ have put aside a dress or two for you to wear.”

           

           

***********************

 

I was starting to regret giving Alice my number. She called me four times while I was doing my makeup to tell me the outfits I was going to choose weren’t good enough. Outfits I hadn’t even _considered._ Not yet, anyway. She was so aggressive in her friendliness, though, that I almost felt guilty for snapping at her after the fourth call.

My hair was pulled up in a low bun, leaving some stray pieces to fall around my face. Maybe it would hide how hideous I was next to Alice. I frowned at myself in the mirror. This was a _terrible_ idea. And Edythe wasn’t even going…

My phone buzzed, and Alice’s name popped up yet again.

Naturally, the outfits I had been told not to wear were all my first choice. Even the nice navy blue one I wore to Renée and Phil’s wedding. It had been casual, me standing next to Renée with my Aunt K in the chapel. Even Charlie was there. It was a fond memory, and I damn it I wanted to wear the dress again. I mean, it had _pockets._

As I pulled it from the garment bag where it was collecting dust, my phone buzzed a few more times. I ignored it as I pulled the dress up over my legs. Somehow, it still fit. I turned in front of the mirror, vamping a little. The bust was sort of drapey, drawing close at the waist and making me look like I actually had some curves. Alice didn’t know what she was talking about.

“Alice,” I said, picking up the sixth call. “I’m wearing it.”

“Ugh. Fine. We’ll pick you up in thirty minutes.”

“Okay. Wait! Who’s we?”

The line went dead.

Thirty minutes. I ran back to the bathroom, fixing my makeup as best I knew how. We? I made my eyelashes bigger than normal, wondering if the blonde sister – Rosalie – would be there. My self-confidence plummeted at the thought.

At the very least, Edythe wasn’t going. I could manage as long as she wasn’t there.

“Wow!” Charlie exclaimed as I came down the steps. “ _Wow!_ ”

“Speak for yourself – you’re wearing a suit!”

I was surprised to learn that Charlie was going to this thing, suit and all, but the police station apparently made a contribution to the hospital every year, and some of the staff usually made an appearance. Charlie claimed he did it for the open bar, but I knew how much he liked to gossip. According to Jacob, he and Billy were the main sources across town for recent scandals. I wondered if he’d heard the one about the human girl and the vampires.

“I’m gonna have to get it taken out soon.” He pulled at his shirt collar needlessly.

“Well, I think you look nice. Very dapper.”

“Thanks, Bells,” he blushed, checking his watch. “I said I’d be there at seven. You don’t need a ride?”

  
“Alice is driving me. We won’t be far behind.””

He left in the cruiser, and I puttered around the kitchen until I saw the Volvo pull in. I tried surreptitiously looking through the windows, but they were tinted unnaturally dark. As long as Edythe wasn’t there…

Edythe was there.

“You look amazing!” Alice cried as I opened the door.

“That’s not what you said earlier.”

She waved a dismissive hand. “Have you met Jasper?”

I would have to look in the backseat now. My hand twitched toward my phone, a movement Alice observed shrewdly. Maybe Charlie would come back and get me.

“Nice to meet you,” said a deep voice from behind Alice. I looked, and I was proud of myself for doing it. Because _she_ was back there.

Jasper’s eyes were just as golden as Edythe’s, but much easier to look at. He inclined his head with a smile, and the tiniest bit of my anxiety seemed to ebb away.

“You, too,” I said, turning back around to buckle my seatbelt. The car didn’t move, and Alice was smiling in a really scary way.

“Don’t be rude,” she said to the rear view mirror. “Say hi to Bella.”

I tried my best to sink into the car seat.

“Hey.”

Alice looked at me.

“Hey.” My voice broke.

“Wow,” Alice said brightly, putting the car in reverse. “Isn’t it so nice how we all get along?”

She monologued through the entirety of the short ride. I couldn’t tell if she was uncomfortable, or if she was purposely trying to make everyone else uncomfortable. I could hardly keep up, as she was talking so fast, but mostly I was just hyper-aware of the person sitting behind me.

We parked at the back of the building, where the only empty spots were left. People walked in pairs or groups toward the hospital, all dressed to the nines. This was probably the only formal event Forks ever had. Besides prom, maybe, but I didn't see any hot pink ball gowns.

Alice was out of the car and at my side disturbingly fast, winding a freezing arm through mine to pull me toward the red convertible parked across the row.

“Bella, this is Emmett and Rosalie.”

Oh, no. It was all of them.

“You’re even shorter up close,” The gigantic man said, with a goofy smile. I smiled back, oddly reminded of Jacob.

“Hello,” said Rosalie, in a musical, high voice.

I didn’t like looking at her at all. She was too…perfect didn’t even _describe_ it. Her hair was pulled back on top, falling all around her face in blonde wisps. The maroon dress was long, slitted, and the same color as her lipstick. I felt like a kindergartener.

“That’s a good color on you,” she said, nodding to my dress.

“Thanks,” I said awkwardly. Alice’s smile got impossibly wider.

“Shall we go?” Jasper asked, taking Alice’s other arm and pulling her off of me. I followed close behind them. It was so not what I had thought the night would be, but here  I was, with the Cullens.

The hospital wasn’t very big, as I had seen before, but a decently-sized conference room had been decorated with dark curtains on the walls and standing tables with hors d’oeuvres and drinks. It looked really nice.

In the low lights, not too many people noticed the five strikingly gorgeous teenagers and their human companion. Alice led us to a less crowded corner.

“This is busier than the last one,” Rosalie said. “New faces.”

“A philanthropist from Seattle has taken an interest in Carlisle,” Edythe said in a bored voice, standing next to Jasper in the small circle we had formed. “He brought some of his friends. Everyone’s very excited.”

Her dress went from her neck to the floor, making her seem even taller and more imposing than usual. It was black, with long sleeves and a collar that went up her throat. The fabric clung to her form, and for some unrelated reason sweat broke out on the back of my neck.

“Bella,” Emmett began. I jumped guiltily. “What’s your stance on Jeeps?”

“Like, the car?” I wasn’t really sure how to answer. This was more of a Jacob question. “They’re pretty cool, I guess.”

“That’s so funny, Bella, ‘cause Edythe,” he looked over at his sister, who scowled at the floor. “ _Also_ thinks Jeeps are cool.”

“That’s enough,” Rosalie muttered. Jasper suppressed a grin. I must have missed something.

“We’re the only kids here,” I observed after a heavy silence fell. “At least, I am.”

“People really like Dr. Cullen,” Alice said. “They don’t mind us too much.”

Probably because none of them looked as young as they were supposed to. Except perhaps Alice.

“Let’s go see if the bartender will serve us,” Emmett said, pulling Rosalie by the hand.

“You…drink alcohol?” I asked delicately, watching them go.

Edythe snorted. “No. Emmett just likes seeing how far he can push it.”

“I bet he’s serving drinks by the end of the night,” Jasper said.

“This is a charity benefit,” Alice clucked disapprovingly.

“Twenty,” Edythe said. Jasper nodded in agreement.

I caught sight of Charlie, across the room. He was standing around with some deputies I vaguely recognized, holding a red cup of what I would bet was Miller Lite. I didn’t usually see him so…animated. He was quiet at the house, and didn’t usually have anyone over aside from Billy. Now, he was the center of attention, telling a story that had the men in uproarious laughter.

“Hey,” I stepped forward to close the circle, entirely too close to Edythe to be comfortable. “What’s my dad talking about?”

She turned to look. Alice and Jasper whispered to each other in the corner of my eye.

“He’s telling them about catching some teenagers in a car a few days ago. Out in the park. They were smoking pot. He…” She stopped, raising her eyebrows. “He…confiscated it.”

“Oh.” I laughed. “Looks like a hit with the deputies.”

“Well, it is crime,” she said flatly.

“He usually doesn’t talk that much,” I continued, praying that the panic I felt wouldn’t make its way into my voice. “Maybe I don’t talk to him enough.”

“He prefers the quiet when he’s not at work.” The deep gold of her eyes was dazzling. “So I hear.”

I smiled, and then flinched as a very large person appeared behind me, clapping a hand on my shoulder and shoving a glass into my hand.

“Loosen up, Bella.” A deep voice said in my ear. “And don’t tell your dad.”

Edythe looked at the glass with trepidation as Emmett disappeared again. Alice and Jasper were gone now, too, I realized. Oh, man. I was _so_ deleting her number.

I sipped the champagne. It was sweet, bubbly, and my stomach burned pleasantly.

“You said you weren’t coming.”

Edythe crossed her arms. “Changed my mind.”

“What changed it?” I asked, getting used to having to pry for answers.

“I feared my siblings would ply you with alcohol until you donated your entire bank account to the hospital.”

I held the glass away from me, horrified. “ _What?_ ”

Her eyes glinted.

“Very funny,” I muttered, looking down into my champagne.

“It’s not.” She leaned against the wall next to me, looking like Morticia Addam’s redheaded sister. “It would absolutely have worked.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I can smell the alcohol in your blood already. You haven’t eaten, have you?”

My stomach growled, and the blush I had been dreading spread over my face. “You’re bluffing. I’ve had, like, three sips.”

“I don’t bluff.”

A smile played around the edges of her mouth. I couldn’t tell if she was teasing me, I just knew it was working.

“Well, I guess you can decide when I’m cut off.”

She watched impassively as I downed the rest of the champagne. “Don’t count on it.”

“Where’d everyone go?” I asked, looking around for anyone else to talk to. I couldn’t see the bar from where we were standing, which is where I assumed they had gone, although surely no one would be serving Alice or Jasper any drinks.

“Over there,” she nodded. I turned.

Alice was deep in conversation with a tall, grey-haired woman in a black pantsuit. The contrast between them was almost comical. Alice’s bright youth stood out even more than usual, and even with her heels she was so tiny. Jasper stood next to her like a young, blonde James Dean.

“What are they talking about?”

“Alice knew her name from a client list.” I looked back at Edythe in interest. “She sends her designs to a boutique in Los Angeles. She’s about to land herself a new job.”

“Designs? Like…clothes?” I looked at Alice’s dress. It was very short, hanging down her frame without curves, like something I would have dressed a doll with when I was a child. The fabric sort of poofed out, meeting the thigh-high black stockings that led to platform heels. It seemed ridiculous before, but it wasn’t like I kept up with high fashion.

“Dresses. Couture, mostly. Utterly useless, in my opinion.”

“That sounds…very cool. It explains a lot.”

The flute of champagne disappeared from my hands. I flinched, thinking I had dropped it somehow. Edythe didn’t appear to have moved, but the empty glass was nowhere in sight.

“Bella,” Charlie said, appearing in front of us. I blinked. “You remember Dr. Cullen?”

“Yes!” I forced a smile, still a little shaken. Dr. Cullen looked exactly as insane as I remembered, dressed in a spotless white suit that made him look all the more impeccable. A woman stood next to him, about the same age. She was clearly one of _them,_ though her eyes were so dark they looked more brown than gold. Her features reminded me of actresses from Hollywood’s Golden Age.

The doctor smiled at me. “It’s nice to see you under better circumstances, Bella. This is my wife, Esme.”

“You look lovely,” she said, holding out her hand. The icy cold grip was exactly what I expected.

“Thank you. So do you.” I remembered Charlie. “Dad, uh, this is Edythe.”

“Hello,” she said from beside me. I did a double take; her expression and posture had changed into something feminine and congenial. It was scary.

“How do you do?” Charlie said, face red. “Thanks for taking Bella out. I’m glad she’s making friends.”

“She’s very easy to get along with,” Edythe said without a trace of sarcasm. I nearly asked Dr. Cullen to treat me for a stroke.

Someone called Charlie’s name, waving from a group of young men.

“Carlisle, have you met Deputy Charles? I’ll introduce you.”

 “Ladies.” Dr. Cullen gave Edythe a meaningful look before sweeping himself and his wife away after Charlie.

“I’m easy to get along with?”

She slumped back against the wall. “At the very least, I can’t hear all the horrible things you’re thinking about me.”

“I don’t – “

“Psst,” Emmett came around with two red cups. “Jack and Coke or lager?” Jasper trailed behind him, looking amused.

“They do _not_ have liquor here.” At a charity benefit? In _Forks?_ I stood on my tiptoes, craning my neck for a look at wherever the drinks were coming from. Emmett moved to block my view.

“Red pill or blue pill?”

“Ugh.” The smell of beer would be harder to hide when I talked to Charlie again. “Coke.”

They disappeared again, and I took an experimental sip. It was very, very strong. More Jack than Coke, even.

“He brought a flask,” Edythe said over my coughing.

“No kidding.” I looked away from her eyes, taking another compulsive sip. If she kept looking at me all night, I was going to black out. “So…vampires can’t get drunk? Eternity must get pretty boring.”

“I don’t know, hunting is sort of a high.” She said it so _normally_.

“Rabbits? Or do you fish?”

“I prefer mountain lions.” She frowned like I had insulted her. “What about you?”

I thought about it. “Chicken?”

She stared at me for a very long moment, looking like she might start crying or laughing.

“What do you like to _drink_?”

“Oh.” I looked down into my cup. I had been to a few parties back in Phoenix, but I didn’t have any friends to drink with, or to buy me alcohol. “Sometimes I drink wine with my mom.”

“What’s she like?”

I took a sip. “Um. Really cool.” Then my alcohol-addled brain figured out what she was really asking. People always skirted around the question, but the truth was I didn’t look like any one ethnicity in particular. “She’s Hawaiian.”

Interest lit up her gloomy expression. “Do you speak any?”

I shrugged. “Just enough to make my grandparents happy. They’re not around anymore.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Do you… speak Hawaiian?” Somehow, I wouldn’t put it past her.

She smiled sadly. “ _‘Ae, ‘ano_. I studied languages. The Polynesian dialects are very interesting, but I never reached fluency.”

I suddenly felt guilty for not even trying to learn Hawaiian. “What else did you study?”

“I’m fluent in Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, French, some Hindi, Bengali. With time and a decent exposure, it’s pretty simple. Most languages follow a basic set of rules and tenses.”

“That’s...” I cleared my throat. “I’m not that smart.”

She glanced at my cup. “Neither am I.”

I took another sip. It tasted better now, less harsh in my throat. “Why are you here?”

“What?”

“Well, first you said you weren’t coming. Then you _did_ come and everyone went to mingle, or…” I caught sight of Emmett walking around with a tray, handing out glasses of champagne. “Or goof around. So why are you talking to me?”

She took a step closer, and my heart did something unpleasant. Long fingers plucked the drink from my hands.

“Hey!”

She sniffed the contents and smirked. “You’re cut off.”

“I’m not drunk.”

The smirk grew into a smile. I smiled back without thinking.

“They’re about to start the ceremony,” Alice danced over, glancing between us. “I saved us seats.”

The room adjacent was filled with chairs, the Cullens sitting in the back row. I spotted Charlie near the front, taking a seat next to Esme.

Edythe sat next to Alice, so I sat next to Edythe, on the very last seat in the row. I thought I saw Emmett try to pass me another drink, but Alice said something that made him stop.

“Your mom organized all of this?”

Edythe looked up from where Alice was whispering in her ear, sitting back in the seat and touching her shoulder against mine.

“Yes.” Her mouth was drawn in a tight line. Was she mad at me? I didn’t want her to be mad.

People were taking forever to sit down, still mingling and chattering. I felt buzzy and restless.

“Can I have my drink back? I’m bored.”

“Not a chance.”

“Please?” I just wanted to have something to do with my hands. She held my eye for a second before handing the cup over. Surprised, I took it. Our fingers brushed together. “You did it.”

“Did what?”

“You gave it to me.”

“And I already regret it,” she bit out. I felt myself grinning, but my face also felt sort of numb. She turned toward the front as the lights dimmed, and I did the same a few seconds later.

Dr. Cullen stood at the front and said a few words about the charity event. By the time he started introducing old white men, I was squirming in my seat. A restless energy coursed through me, telling me I needed to _do_ something.

“I’m bored,” I whispered in Edythe’s ear. “Let’s go do something.”

“Like what? Do you want an MRI?”

“Are you qualified?” I giggled. She shushed me.

The door was so close... No one would noticed if I just got up and left. I could be using the bathroom. Or getting a refill.

I tried to make it look as natural as possible. The lights were low, no one would see anything. The other room looked very big without any people. I crept behind the makeshift bar. There was no liquor, so I grabbed a half-full bottle of champagne. That would do.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Edythe stood across from me, leaning over the bar menacingly.

“Like I said. I got bored.”

“Your father is here.”

“ _Your_ father is here,” I countered, tilting the bottle up.

She flashed toward me, stopping the bottle from reaching my lips. I held on to it as she jerked it away. The short battle between her strength and mine ended in my entire body being thrown against hers. I erupted into giggles as she let go.

“Stop this. You’re embarrassing yourself.”

“There’s no one around,” I whispered conspiratorially, pushing myself off of her. She followed me as I walked in the direction of the front desk.

“You can’t just walk around a hospital drunk. There are sick people. Nurses.”

“How good is your hearing?”

In most hospitals, the staff would continue working despite the party. But this was Forks. There were hardly any patients, and only a few nurses on call, since all the doctors were on the first floor. At least, that’s all I got out of Edythe as she hovered around me through the hallways.

“This is absurd,” she muttered as I tried a door handle. It was open.

“Then go back to the party.”

Her hand closed around mine on the handle, pulling the door shut.

“My family has a very good reputation. You want to ruin it? Or is it Charlie’s you don’t care about?”

I knew I was smiling like an idiot. Her hand was touching my hand. It felt like an electric pulse through my arm. The buzzing returned, stronger now.

“Fine,” I acquiesced. “No going through doors.”

She pulled her hand away.

“I’ll just read the thingy,” I reached for the clipboard sitting in a basket outside the door, pulling it all the way out before Edythe snatched it.        

“Reading the _thingy,_ as you so eloquently put it, would be a serious breach of…” She flipped it right side up, eyes glancing at the paper and stopping there. “Confidentiality.”

“What does it say?” I tried to peek over at the page, but she shoved it back in the basket.

“Nothing.”

“Fine. I’ll go find _another_ one.” I ducked around her and ran as fast as I could to the next door. She beat me there, without visibly moving, so I changed course, giggling, to the one across the hall. The champagne in the bottle swished around.

She was already there. This time she was smiling.

I made to run to another one, but ice cold hands gripped my upper arms from behind, forcing me to a stop. The bottle slipped through my fingers.

Only instead of a crash, Edythe was in front of me, holding it.

“You move too fast,” I mumbled.

“You’re going to hurt yourself.”

I took the bottle back, taking a swig. “I feel fine. Do you know where they keep the MRI machines?”

“I do. Follow me.”

She grabbed my hand, which gave me the warm fuzzy feeling in my stomach again. The set of stairs we descended made me dizzy, and the dizziness didn’t right itself once we were at the bottom.

She took me through a door, and cold air rushed toward us.

“I didn’t want to go _outside_ ,” I complained. We were at a side door, facing a concrete pathway lined with grass on one side, and trees on the other. “It’s _cold_.”

“So drink more.” She kicked a rock into place to keep the door from shutting. “Maybe you’ll get warm.”

"You’re a buzzkill, Edythe,” I said, taking her advice. “You should be drunk, too. It’s _fun_.”

“It looks like a blast,” she said dryly, watching me as I idly walked in circles. “Why did you decide to get drunk?”

“I’m sure there’s a rabbit or something around here,” I continued, turning toward the trees. “Maybe if you drink enough, you can be _fun_ for once –“

The earth moved from beneath my feet, reappearing as I was pushed into the wall of the building. It made the dizziness worse, along with the buzzing. And the champagne had disappeared...

“I don’t eat rabbits,” Edythe said quietly. Her hands held me in place at my arms. “But you’re here.”

The tiniest squeaking noise made its way up from my throat.

“I could drink _you_. There’s alcohol in your blood…I’ve heard stories. It probably won’t even hurt.”

I burst into hysterical laughter.

“I didn’t know you liked _Hawaiian_ food.”

Her mouth twitched. “You’re not scared?”  

“Nope. I trust you.”

“That’s very stupid.”

 I liked that her hands were on me. “It’s not like I could stop you.”

For effect, I wriggled against her iron grip.

“No.” She released me. “You couldn’t.”

“I think you spilled my champagne.”

“You’re welcome.” She had let go of me, but our bodies were still a hair’s breadth apart. I thought her cheeks looked flushed. Mine certainly were.

“You look happy.”

“You’re drunk.”

“I mean it. Read my mind.” I closed my eyes and tried to think loudly.

“If I could read your mind, I wouldn’t have to talk to you.”

I cracked one eye open, taking in her world-weary expression.

“That’s rude, considering this is technically our second date.”

Her eyes went wide. “Following you around a hospital to make sure you don’t kill yourself isn’t my idea of a date.”

“What is?” The buzzing was getting very hard to ignore. My knees felt weak. I couldn’t catch my breath.

“Can I ask you a question?” She sounded upset about something all of a sudden.

I nodded, trying to speak but unable. It was like something was stuck in my throat.

Her eyes widened in disbelief. “Are you about to throw up?”

“No, what –“ I clapped a hand over my mouth. Yes. Yes, I was. The buzz, through layers and layers of alcohol, was starting to feel more like nausea.

It took a solid second of pushing against Edythe for her to step back, and I at least had the good sense to pull my dress up before collapsing to my knees. I retched onto the grass four or five times, extremely grateful I hadn’t eaten. The vomit was mostly clear, but the sheer volume of it surprised me. I had drank way, way too much.

When it was over, I wiped my mouth, looking at Edythe in shock. She stood on the path with raised eyebrows.

“I can’t believe you just _threw up_ ,” she cried, laughing. “You’re a _mess._ I _so_ do not envy humans.”

“You’re laughing,” I said. The dizziness was getting better, but I was still buzzing pretty hard. “I think I’m hallucinating.”

“And you’re _still_ criticizing me. Stubborn, aren’t you?”

I tried to get to my feet, and nearly stumbled into my own sick. She grabbed my hand, pulling me up effortlessly.

“I am stubborn.” I gripped her shoulders as my vision spun violently. “That’s why we’re never going to mention this to anyone. Ever. Especially Emmett.”

“Oh, they all heard.”

“ _No,_ ” I moaned, dropping my head to her shoulder. Damn vampire hearing. Damn alcohol. “My body is heavy.”

“I’m taking you home now.” Her voice was warm and cool breath huffed against my ear. I was just sober enough to realize that her hands were sitting at my waist.

“I need a minute,” I said. It came out as _hnhhhhhgh._

“Bella? Are you going to cooperate?”

“Swan,” I said into her neck. The skin was so cold, so nice against my forehead.

“What?”

“You always call me Swan. Never Bella.”

It felt like it was quiet for a long time, but I couldn’t tell seconds from minutes anymore. It was all spinny and fun and a little nauseating.

“How very rude of me,” she whispered. I thought I felt a hand brush my cheek.

Then I was horizontal. It didn’t sicken me, but the spinny feeling made me laugh. I opened my eyes. “Are you _carrying_ me?”

“You didn’t give me much choice.”

The next time I opened my eyes, I was being pulled from the car. She carried me again, stopping at the front door of my house.

“Spare key?”

“Under the rock.”

Somehow, she retrieved the key and unlocked the door without dropping me on my head. It was warm in the house, so warm I realized how cold I was.

She put me down, keeping a hand on my shoulder to steady me.

“Bed. Now.”

“Okay,” I breathed, smiling at her. She sighed and steered me toward the staircase.

“Help me take my dress off?” I asked, reaching feebly for the zipper.

“No.” She stood by the door of my bedroom, watching me struggle. “I’m leaving now.”

“Don’t go!” I didn’t want her to. I wanted her to put her hands on my waist again. “What if I throw up again?”

“Then you’ll have a lot to explain to your dad.”

“Fine,” I said, falling across the bed and sinking into it with a sigh.

My shoes were pulled off by capable hands. The blankets were pulled out from under me, then thrown on top, heavy and warm. As I careened toward unconsciousness, I felt gentle pressure on my head. It was nice. My hair fell down my back.

“Bella?”

“Hmmm?”

“Have you talked to your friend Jacob lately?”

“I like Jacob,” I said. “He’s my best…”

Sleep took over before I could finish the sentence.

 

***************************

 

“You got blood on your _dress!_ ” Alice shrieked. She was wearing a t-shirt and shorts, and there was something like powder on her hands.

I looked down at the stain that darkened the fabric over my right arm. “So? You don’t let me wear things more than once, anyway.”

 _She fed,_ Jasper thought, staring at the screen as he and Emmett raced cars. _Out of need or just for fun?_

“I was hoping she yakked on you,” Emmett said. He had already changed into regular clothes. “Was it as hilarious as it sounded?”

“Yes.”

“You didn’t ask her,” Rosalie added from the kitchen. I smelled food. Human food.

“She got drunk.” I entered and looked around at the mess. They had been to the store, and the wide, unused counter was scattered with various ingredients. “I didn’t get the chance. But there was a patient file...what is this?"

 _Two cups diced…_ Rosalie set down her phone grabbed an onion from one of the shopping bag, peeling it and going at it with the knife with a lot of confidence for someone who had literally never cooked in her life – human or other.

“We’re cooking.” Alice shoved past me. “Go change. It’s unsanitary.”

“I can see that.” I took a step closer. Alice stirred some concoction in a mixing bowl. It smelled of sugar and yeast. “Who are you cooking for?”

“ _Rosalie_!” Alice cried. “You’re supposed to be dicing!”

“Yeah?” Rosalie stopped her violent chopping. “I’m dicing!”

“You’re _mincing_.” Alice pulled out a second onion, taking the knife from Rosalie. “Thank God I thought to get extras.”

“You can’t be serious.”

I pulled the answer I needed from their thoughts as they bickered.

“I don’t think people eat…” I peeked inside a bag, “pot-roast for hangovers.”

I didn’t mention that Bella preferred chicken.

“If you touch anything without washing your hands,” Alice pointed the knife in my direction. “You will lose four years of hair growth.”

“Just let me try again,” Rosalie said, batting at the knife.

Careful not to touch anything, I went upstairs. Esme cleaned a lot, but I didn’t want the place covered in animal germs if Bella ever…

I tossed the dress in the hamper with disgust at myself. Disgust that hardly disguised the overreaching joy.

The bathroom sat between my room and Rosalie’s. I shut the door behind myself, starting the shower and waiting for it to warm up. Cold water felt fine, but when hot enough warmed my skin somewhat. I’d never thought much about it before.

My naked form watched me in the mirror. I couldn't remember the last time I had given it more than a passing glance.

With the full understanding that it was ridiculous, I idly wondered if Bella would …like it. Like me. The venom had frozen me, more or less, the way I was at the time of the bite. But it had changed me, too. My body had filled out from where it was thin and frail with sickness. My skin retained its color, but now reflected light instead of absorbing it.

I had never worn corsets in my day, though many still did at the time. It was uncomfortable, and I had seen a few older vampires, like Tanya and her sisters, who were slightly disfigured from such customs.

Hair was interesting. I never shaved any part of my body as a human – it hadn’t come into fashion until after my death. Rosalie was the one who discovered that very hard and sharp rocks could scrape the hair from our indestructible skin. It grew back, but very slowly.

I was tall, I had some muscle, my hips were a little too wide. Alice said my shoulders were too broad to be a model form. My eyes, now, were a bright, golden color. Beneath the veneer of absolute stillness and reflective skin that all vampires shared, I really wasn’t very beautiful. Humans _thought_ that I was, but their eyes were weak, senses easily confused by my eyes, my skin, my voice.

When steam obscured my reflection, I stepped into the shower. The water fell over my skin in a steaming cascade. Not nearly as warm as Bella.

Her mouth had touched me. My hand traced over the spot on my neck where her lips had been. I moved my other hand over my hip, closing my eyes. I felt normal. I felt warm. That’s not what she felt, when she touched me. I would never be able to keep her warm.

I wanted Bella to think I was beautiful. It was the weakest, most vulnerable thought I had ever allowed myself. I cast it away as soon as it materialized, sighing. Sometimes I really hated reading minds, but just as often, I was thankful to be the only one.

My hair dripped in a wet bun as I returned to the kitchen, where Alice and Rosalie had made little progress on the bread.

 _Too watery_ , Alice thought as she poured more flour into her bowl. Rosalie was carefully quartering potatoes.

“Aren’t you going to wait for Esme?” She and Carlisle had stayed behind at the hospital, and I knew she would be better at this than Alice or Rosalie.

“Help if you want, Edythe,” Rosalie snapped. “It’s your girlfriend.”

“We left the dessert for Esme,” Alice said. _Bella loves you already, you know._

I couldn’t deal with that, so I jumped onto the couch next to Jasper and pulled the controller out of his hands.

“Let’s play the horse one.”

“What, Red Dead?” Emmett wrecked his car into a building. “Carlisle was playing that.”

“Okay, then the space one.”

“You know the name,” Emmett muttered, putting the disc in. Jasper sat back as it booted up, and Emmett and I took turns shooting down aliens for a while.

The smell of food slowly filled the house; beef and potatoes and bread permeating my nose. It didn’t at all smell enticing, though I could pick out the distinct ingredients. Odd that it would still smell the same to us, even as it turned to dust in our mouths.

  _Your mood has me thinking about my own feelings,_ Jasper thought. _My own love._ He pictured Alice, making me a little uncomfortable. I glanced at him, nodding to show him I was listening.

He reached out to touch my bare arm, and I was suddenly overcome with what could only be a replica of what Jasper felt for Alice. Overwhelming desire, empathy, protection, selflessness, and pain. It was blinding. I couldn’t think around it. The pain had seemed out of place, once, but now I understood.

I was in love.

He drew his hand back almost immediately. My digital avatar died, and Emmett groaned.

“What the hell, man? We gotta start over.”

I blinked at Jasper, who looked smug.

“I didn’t know you could do that.”

He shrugged, looking proud of himself. He must have been sitting on that for a while now. I wondered if Alice knew. Jasper was older than me. If he was still finding new facets of his gift to explore...what did that say about me and my inability to read Bella’s mind?

After another twelve or thirteen rounds of alien murder, Carlisle and Esme pulled into the drive. Esme was immediately worried about the state of her kitchen.

“Hey,” we all said in unison as they walked through the door.

“How is Bella?” Esme asked as Carlisle took her coat. _It sounded awful._

“Asleep, now. I know it wasn’t alcohol poisoning.” I stood up. "I didn’t get to ask about Jacob.”

Carlisle nodded. "I don't think we have much time left."

”I have a plan," Alice called. "But first, the roast needs to cook for six hours."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not saying Charlie and Billy smoke confiscated weed together, but...  
> Also it occurred to me while writing this that Meyer never mentioned anything about vampires taking showers? Baths? Don't they become walking cesspools of bacteria? Brush your fucking teeth, guys, come on.


	7. Hangover

“Pot roast?” I asked, staring at the various trays that Alice had carried in on her own. She nodded expectantly. I reached out to pull back one of the sheets of aluminum foil. Pot roast for breakfast wasn’t very enticing.

“On second thought…” The pans disappeared, and Alice had shoved them in the fridge before I could blink.

“Hangovers are tricky. You were going to throw up,” she explained. “Coffee looks safest for now.”

I started a pot without question. Even after three Aspirin, my head felt like it was stuffed full of cotton. And maybe some wasps, too. Rain plinked against the windows, and outside the plants and trees were starting to turn dull hues of orange and brown. I preferred green – it meant the real winter was farther away.

“How bad was it?”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

I jumped. She had moved to stand at the fridge without my hearing, examining the photos and childhood drawings of mine that were stuck to it.

“I threw up on her, didn’t I?” My memories were fuzzy, but they were there. I remembered the throwing up part, and the sound of Edythe’s laughter.

Alice pursed her lips. “No.”

That made sense, I thought with relief. Edythe probably wouldn’t have been laughing if I vomited all over her dress.

“Well, what did I say?” I watched coffee trickle into the pot intently.

“I was actually paying attention to the event, Bella. I didn’t hear.”

I didn’t know if I believed her.

“Is this your mother?” She pulled out a picture that had been stuck under a Christmas card from one of Charlie’s deputies. I was surprised to see it – an old photo of Charlie, Renée, and a very small, chubby me.

“Yes.”

“She’s beautiful.”

“I know.” I looked away with a pang, reminding myself to call her today.

Alice pinned the picture back where it was.

“What was your, um, childhood like?” I asked delicately. Her eyes, big and yellow as ever, blinked.

“I don’t know,” she said casually. “I don’t remember my human life.”

I poured a mug. “Not at _all_? I mean, how…how old are you?”

“I woke up alone, in a forest outside of Biloxi, Mississippi. No idea who turned me or why. It was 1923.”

I gasped, looking down at her tiny frame. It probably shouldn’t have been surprising, considering all I knew about Edythe, but Alice was _ninety_? It was insane.

“All I knew were the visions.” Her voice turned wistful. “I had to find Carlisle and his family. I needed to find Jasper before I did _that_...” She shrugged. “Pretty lucky, for an amnesiac.”

I gripped the mug tightly, leaning back against the counter. “Did you ever…”

“No,” she said quickly, before I could ask. “Never. Me and Carlisle…”

She stopped, and for the first time, maybe ever, looked uncomfortable. I latched onto her words, repeating them in my head.

“Just you and Carlisle?” Unbidden, I saw a vision of Edythe crouched over a crumpled body with blood dripping down her chin. A body that looked a lot like Jacob.

“I know how it sounds.” She hopped up to sit on the counter next to me. “Trust me, I do. It just depends on how you look at things.”

“Things?” I set the cup down. “You’re talking about murder.”

“To put it simply, yes.” She didn’t sound the least bit apologetic. “Vampires living like we do, living _with_ humans, _as_ humans…it just isn’t done. Except for our cousins in Denali, of course. The rest, the vast majority, live like feral cats. They hunt, and the blood makes them dangerous. Unhinged. It’s hard, with so much power, to retain any trace of your humanity. Humans become nothing more than prey.”

I was going to ask her – how many? But she shook her head.

“Again, it’s not what you think. Best ask her yourself.”

I bit my cheek. How could I ask her something like that? And what if I didn’t like the answer? I stared down in to the coffee, frowning. Wondering if it was a high number, and how close I’d come to making the list.

“I should go,” Alice said suddenly. “I know you have a lot to do today.”

“I do?”

Already halfway through the kitchen, she turned to look at me innocently.

“Aren’t you going to the reservation today?”

By the time I blinked, she was gone and the Jeep was roaring to life outside. I watched it pull out of the driveway through the window. Jacob hadn’t texted me about coming over. Besides, he was still in school. He hadn’t even answered my text from that morning.

Something about her expression had seemed a little _too_ innocent, though. Edythe’s comments from the concert were starting to make sense. It didn’t feel like she said anything without knowing exactly how it would be received.

I watched TV for a while, curled up on the couch with nothing to do but feel gross. I even showered again, washing my hair twice and brushing my teeth of the coffee smell. No one texted me. Not even Edythe – which a part of me hoped for, in a twisted way.

Charlie got home really early, around three. He looked exhausted, with dark circles under his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, sitting up with a wince.

“Another campsite,” he sighed. “Torn to shreds. I’ve been with the search party all day. Just came home for some late lunch.”

“Alice brought over some food, actually. It’s in the fridge.”

I heard the fridge open, and felt Charlie’s silent approval. “That was nice. When was she here?”

Aluminum foil was crinkled and the microwave started.

“Just a little bit ago.”

“Good kids, the Cullens.”

 _Yeah, ninety years of life must leave you with some amazing recipes,_ I thought.

“Do you think it’s that bear you were talking about?”

“Probably. We found some tracks, but…”

“But what?”

“They were big, Bella. Bigger than any we’ve seen in a while. Rangers think it must be a grizzly.”

“A grizzly.” The biggest thing I’d ever seen in Phoenix was a coyote. There’d been a bear at the zoo, once, but it had been sort of small. “Are those big?”

“They can get up to seven hundred pounds. But there aren’t that many around here. We won’t know until we find it. And kill it.”

I pulled my feet in as he sat on the couch heavily, with a plate loaded with meat and vegetables. It looked good, but the smell still made my stomach turn a little.

“You’re going after it tonight?”

“While the sun’s up, anyway.

“Be careful.” I handed him the remote.

He flipped to the sports news. “I always am.”

Jacob still didn’t text me. Mike did, though, offering to bring me anything I needed if I was feeling sick. I declined as politely as possible. Out of boredom, I scrolled up through mine and Jake’s text history. We had kept up a pretty constant stream of conversation the past week or so. I’d learned Jacob was really, really funny.

I’d thought we hadn’t talked much in the last few days, but now I realized I had done plenty of talking. Jacob just wasn’t answering.

 _You’ll never believe what I did last night_ , I had sent that morning. And before that was my ‘made it home’ text from Monday night.

It wasn’t that weird, I knew. It was only four days. He just seemed to always have his phone on him…

I froze halfway up the staircase, hand on the rail. Four days…

According to Jacob, four days was all it took.

I told myself I was being ridiculous, but pulled my phone from my pocket anyway. The dial tone rang in my ear. Once, twice, three times…

Voicemail. I chewed on my lip. It was probably fine. I was being clingy and weird and overprotective. It was Friday, after all. He was probably out with his friends…

I turned back toward the living room, rolling back on my heels. Charlie.

He would be going to Billy’s in the morning, like he always did. I would just tag along and see for myself what Jacob was up to. Even as I thought it, it sounded creepy. But I didn’t know if I could ignore the insistent feeling that something was wrong.

I thought of the scared look in his eyes as he told me about Sam, and Paul. The way his arms trembled around me.

“Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re going to La Push tomorrow, right?”

He shook his head. “No, not tomorrow.”

“Why not?”

“Billy called and canceled. Which is good, because I’m probably working through the weekend.” He finished off his plate and went to put it in the sink. When he turned around and I was still standing there, he stopped.

“Bella?”

It was like I had been thrown from my body, watching my self say, “Why did he cancel?”

“I don’t know, he didn’t really say. What’s wrong?”

I tried to stop myself, but my body was moving without my brain’s consent. I screwed my eyes shut. “I haven’t heard from Jacob in a few days. I’m starting to get worried.”

His face cleared and he grinned at me. “Did you two have a fight?”

Okay, that made me a little angry. “No. It’s just…well, Jacob told me something weird was going on with some guys. Actually, he called it a cult.”

That got his attention – and I regretted saying it almost immediately. I had gone too far, and if I was wrong I might even feel bad about it.

“A  _cult_?” He wouldn’t have looked as shocked if I told him I’d gone out and shot the grizzly myself.  “On the reservation?”

I took a breath. “Something like that. He was…scared of them.”

“A cult,” he repeated. “Jacob said that?”

I nodded, feeling lower than dirt. Charlie picked up the landline, punching in a series of numbers. This was full-on Chief Mode.

I heard, distantly, when the line picked up.

“Yeah, it’s me,” Charlie said tersely. “Listen, I caught wind of some gang activity on the reservation. Is that true?”

There was a short pause, and Charlie’s face darkened. “You know that’s not what I meant, Billy. Maybe Jake heard about it – ?”

“Ask him about Sam Uley,” I whispered, drawing closer. He glanced at me.

“Something about a Sam Uley?”

There was a longer pause. His face softened. “Well, I’m sorry to hear that. Sure. Let me know if you hear anything.”

He hung up.   

“He said Jake’s really sick. Mono, they think.”

Sick. Shame and guilt welled up somewhere in my throat. I was a crazy person, really.

Charlie watched me. “What else did Jacob tell you?”

“Hmm?”

“About a cult, Bells.”

I looked at my feet. Time to backtrack. “Maybe I was exaggerating.”

“And who’s Sam Uley?” He fixed me with a stern look. “If you think something’s going on down there – “

“What did Billy say?”

“He said he didn’t know anyone by that name.”

My heart stopped.

“Bella, what – “

“Jacob must have got the name wrong,” I said, forcing a smile. “Really, I think it was just some kids at school.”  

“You don’t look so good,” he said doubtfully. Charlie was a better cop than I’d given him credit for – maybe that’s why Forks was so boring.

“I’m late,” I said, improvising on the spot. “I’m supposed to meet Angela and Jess at the diner.”

“Okay,” he said after a long moment. “I’ll be working late. But please, Bella, don’t go near the woods. Alright?”

I nodded, and he put his plate in the sink with a sigh. He was gone by the time I came back downstairs with my keys.

I was seething. Billy had lied. To his _best_ friend. How could he do this to Jacob? How _could_ he?

The engine started with a roar. I really, really hoped Jacob was as sick as a dog. Because if he wasn’t, and this was all related to that stupid gang, I was going to kick some serious ass.

The first houses of the reservation came into view much faster than usual, which must have meant I was speeding. I hoped all the police force was too busy with the bear to notice my beat up Thing.

I slowed down when I saw a tall boy with a baseball cap walking on the side of the road.

My breath caught for a moment, thinking I had found Jacob so easily. But this boy was too wide, hair too short. Even from behind, I knew it was Quil. But he was _bigger_. What was it about the Quileute boys? Were they being fed experimental growth hormones?

He looked up when I pulled my truck to the wrong side of the road to roll my window down. His expression, instead of surprised, was bleak. Unhappy.

“Hey, Bella,” he said, the slightest smile on his lips.

“Hey Quil. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he said unconvincingly.

“Can I give you a ride somewhere?” I cast my eyes around, wondering where he was walking.

“Sure,” he said, after a moment. He shuffled around the front of the truck and climbed in beside me.

“Where to?”

“North side, back by the shore.”

“Have you seen Jacob today?” I asked, turning toward the beach. The question burst forth the moment I hit the gas.

Quil stared out the windshield for a long moment before answering in a low voice. “From a distance.”

“What does that mean?”

“I tried to follow them. He was with Embry.” I frowned, wondering why Jacob would be acting so weird if he was with _Embry_ all this time. “They were in Embry’s yard. I know they saw me, but they just turned around and disappeared into the trees. I don’t think they were alone, I think Sam and his crew were there, too. I’ve been walking around the woods for an hour now, looking for them.”

“So Sam did get to him,” I said through gritted teeth. “Both of them.”

“You know about that?” He sounded surprised.

“Is he just as bad as the others now?” I asked in a hard voice.

“Yes.”

“And Embry?”

“Never leave’s Sam’s side,” he murmured.

“I saw Jacob on _Monday._ ” My hands shook around the wheel. “Do you think it’s drugs?”

“I can’t see Jacob or Embry getting into that. But what do I know? What else could it be? And why does no one care?” He sounded frustrated and scared. “Jacob and Embry…they didn’t _want_ this. And now…” He heaved a sigh. “I don’t want to be next.”

“No,” I said. “No. Have you told your parents?”

He scoffed. “My grandfather’s on the council with Jacob’s dad. Sam Uley is the best thing that’s ever happened to this place, according to them.”

We were almost to the reservation’s bait shop. I was thinking of something to say, something wise or comforting.    

“I’ll get out here,” Quil said. “My house is right over there.”

“I’m going to go wait for Jacob,” I said. It sounded a little childish, out loud.

“Good luck.” He slammed the door and slumped off through the grass. I pulled a U-turn, headed back for Jacob’s. Quil’s expression haunted me, an echo of the fear Jacob had let me see Monday night.

God knew what Jacob had been going through, while I was out getting drunk with the Cullens. It was a horrible friend. I pulled into the front drive, turning the engine off and climbing out. I would sit on their front porch all night if I had to.

As soon as my feet hit the ground, I heard men’s voices. It sounded like it was coming from the back of the house. I took a step toward the path to go around, and the front door was thrown open. Jacob stood there, looking at me with surprise.

“Bella?”

“Jacob!” I gaped.

“What are you doing here?” He snapped, the surprise turning to confusion. He had changed radically since I’d seen him earlier that week. The planes of his face seemed to have hardened, formed into a man’s face. His neck and shoulders had thickened. His hands, where they clenched into fists at his sides, looked enormous. His hair looked different. Shorter maybe.

Four days. It had only been _four days._ I grappled with the reality of it.

“You’re not sick.”

He glared at me almost resentfully, which was a little confusing.

“What do you want?”

“I want to _talk_ to you.”

“Fine,” He strolled forward, feet bare on the cold, wet ground. “Let’s get this over with.”

I stared at him in blank shock. What had happened to make him so… _this?_

“It’s not what I thought,” he finally said, not looking at me. “I had it all wrong.”

“What is it, then?”

He looked away. “I can’t tell you.”

“You can’t tell me _what_ , Jacob? Can’t tell me why Billy just lied to my dad about you?”

“You really don’t know what you’re talking about, Bella,” he said. But his voice cracked.

“You know Quil is terrified, right?” If he wouldn’t talk to me, if our friendship wasn’t what I thought it was, then I would use whatever I could to snap him out of it. “He thinks you’re on _drugs,_ or – or _worse!_ ”

“Bella…” He snapped his mouth shut, hands clenching into fists. “Just go.”

I heard the voices again – laughter. Loud laughter. It was them. Jacob tried to stop me as I started toward the path, wrapping a huge hand around my arm.

“Bella –“

“Let  _go of me_ ,” I flung, so viciously that he actually dropped his grip, eyes wide. I half-ran to the backyard, where they stood at the edge of the trees. Four of them.

“Hey!” I yelled across the space. They all turned to look. Embry was there, in the back, looking just as inexplicably beefy as Quil. “What did you do to him, huh?  _What the hell did you do?”_

  
I strode across the lawn. Jacob called my name, but I was focused on the oldest one – Sam. In a moment of rage, I shoved at his chest. He didn’t move an inch, just stared.

“He didn’t want this!” I cried, and why couldn’t I be just a _few_ inches taller?

“What if _we_ do?” One of them snarled. He had been at the bonfire – the one staring at Jacob. I guessed it was Paul. “What did he tell you?”

His eyes glanced up to Jacob almost threateningly. I moved into his field of vision protectively. “Nothing. He hasn’t told me _anything_. Because he’s _scared_ of you.”

They all laughed at me then. Even Embry. Paul, though, laughed the loudest.

He was the one that I slapped.

It happened so quickly I couldn’t even believe that I had done it. There was a moment of shocked silence. Paul’s face twisted in something beyond anger. I was sure he would hit me – I braced myself for it.

“Do it,” I yelled. “Hit me. I _dare_ you! Let me have a black eye to take to Charlie!”

“Bella, get back.”

I realized that my entire body strained toward Paul, with only Sam’s arm holding me back. With what seemed like only a push, he threw me onto the ground.

“Paul,” he growled, standing between me and the boy who was now shaking with violent tremors. It shocked me out of my rage. I hadn’t hit him _that_ hard.

But everyone else was reacting, too. Jacob was there, looking between me and Paul with a horrified expression. And then there was a loud tearing sound. I looked around for the source before understanding hit me – it was coming from _Paul._

He shook so violently that his whole body seemed to blur, clothes falling off of him in tatters. And then…

Then I started screaming.

 

 

*******************

 

“You didn’t.”

Alice looked down on me from her spot on the hood of the Jeep. “I figured it out, though. My blind spot. It’s _them_.”

I watched her look for Bella’s future, dark and murky now.

“But why do you have a blind spot to begin with?” Jasper inquired, not seeming sense the gravity of the situation. Emmett and Rosalie leaned against the grill, quiet but intrigued at this new development.

“You could have called me,” I snapped. I knew I shouldn’t have gone to school. I shouldn’t have let Alice anywhere _near_ Bella when she clearly held no regard for Bella’s life. Or my sanity.

“It’s different from death,” Alice said to me. _I would see if she_ died.

“You don’t _know_ that.”

“I know she’ll find out about them, though.”

“You can’t see anything!”

She sighed like _I_ was the imbecile here.

“The entire day turned dark. So…it will be about them, somehow. I know it.”

“They won’t hurt her,” Rosalie said. “It’s in the treaty.”

“Do you not _remember_? The young ones, Rose? They couldn’t control it.”

“Trust me,” Alice placated. “I’m very experienced in these things, Edythe. A century of foresight – “

We both saw, very clearly, when Bella’s future flickered, for a moment, from murky to _black_.

I reacted without thinking, without being able to think, and tore down the drive as fast as I could. Which was slightly faster than the rest of them.

“ _Shit,_ ” Alice muttered. I felt her following me, but my brain was doing something completely on its own, sending me nothing but blind, incapacitating panic. I was nearly to the reservation within minutes.

I heard Alice screaming something at me, out loud and in her mind, but it wasn’t registering. I had to get to Bella, to tear limb from limb whoever dared hurt her.

Alice tackled me to the grass, and I had to physically stop myself from hurting her. “ _You can’t cross the treaty line.”_

“Get _off.”_ I threw her, and then Jasper was there, holding my arms.

“She decided to leave.” Alice gasped, looking West. She could see now. “It’s them. I knew it _._ ”

I could hear the engine of Bella’s truck speeding toward us. I could hear her sobs.

Once she crossed the line, Jasper let me go. I pelted over, landing on the side of the truck and sliding in through the passenger door in a third of a second.

Bella shrieked, looking at me with tear-stained cheeks. “What the _fuck!”_

The car skidded dangerously toward the trees.

 _Get her under control,_ Jasper thought, running behind us.

“Bella, pull over,” I said, trying to calm her down. “You’re going to wreck.”

“I – I just saw –“ She could hardly speak through sobs of fear.

“I know,” I said. “Pull over.”

To my astonishment, she actually listened, pulling the car to the side of the road and slamming on the breaks. I let out the breath I had been holding, but then she pushed the door open, falling out onto the ground.

“Bella?” I followed her through the door, closing it behind me. She was on all fours, gasping wildly. I had no idea what to do, and it was starting to rain.

“I…I saw…” She looked like she was going to be sick again. I put a hand on her back, terrified. Approval coursed through my traitorous brain, to be able to see she was safe.

“He – “ She made a choking sound. “Oh, God.”

“Bella,” I pulled her chin, gently, until she was forced to look at me. Raindrops glistened in her hair. “Tell me.”

“H-he turned into an _animal_.”

“Jacob did?”

She made that odd choking sound again. “Paul…he – It’s them.”

“It’s who?” I looked around, but Alice and Jasper seemed to have fucked off at the worst time.

“Killing the hikers,” she gasped. “I have to tell Charlie. I have to –“

“Hikers?” I smoothed her hair back, a part of me reveling in the softness of it.

“Charlie said it was a bear…” Her eyes focused on mine. “The hiker, the campsite…the tracks. Animal tracks. He said it was a _bear._ ”

 It clicked for me, and I almost laughed.

“It’s not them,” I told her. “Come on, let’s get back in the car.”

She didn’t fight me as I walked her around to the passenger seat. Alice appeared, with towels that smelled of Bella’s house. They were only slightly damp. I shoved them into Bella’s shaking hands and got behind the wheel.

“Where does Charlie think you are?” The engine started with a dreadful groan.

“At the diner,” she managed, wiping her eyes. “With Jessica and Angela.”

“I’m taking you to my house,” I said. Alice climbed in next to Bella, pushing her into my side. Bella didn’t even seem to notice her.

“If you had just waited _two seconds_ you would have seen that she’s _perfectly_ fine,” she said shortly, taking a towel from Bella and wiping it through her hair. 

“Bella knows about the hikers,” I informed Alice, sparing enough headspace to _loathe_ this poor excuse for a car as we crawled along the road. “Police are out looking for a bear.”

“Oh, it’s _Christmas,_ ” Alice groaned happily. _The wolves must be tracking the strays._

“Someone,” Bella said, sounding slightly more coherent. “Better start talking.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the break. I have a lot more written, so stay tuned if you like the story so far (please bookmark im very bad at deadlines). I'm super excited for the next update and I hope you all like it as much as I do!!!


	8. Monster in the Closet

Just fucking peachy. Like my life wasn’t shitty enough before.

“Dude,” Embry said as I kicked a rock. It cracked neatly in two, three of my toes cracking along with it.

“ _Shit._ ”

“Just give it a few hours.” He watched me collapse to the ground without pity. “It took me, like, two days to get a grip.”

I gritted my teeth, pulling the bone of my big toe back in place with a sharp stab of pain. Rain trickled through the heavy overgrowth, drops cold against my skin, but I hardly noticed. All I could think about was Bella.

“Did you see her face?”

“Alpha order, bro,” he reminded me. “You can’t do shit about it, so why worry?”

I sighed. “She talked to Quil. He’s worried.”

“Duh. Haven’t you seen all his texts?” Embry’s tone was light, but the joy he took in making fun of my situation seemed to fade. He sat across from me with a frown. “It won’t be much longer. It can’t be.”

“This sucks.”

I wanted to go after her and explain everything. I wanted it _so_ badly, but even the thought made my body tense up and my knees lock together. It was like freaky magical BDSM. And, _hello_ , I wasn’t even legal yet.

Embry snickered. “At least we know the bloodsuckers didn’t blab.”

Her maniac screaming echoed in my ears. It sure didn’t _seem_ like the Cullens had told her. At least, I didn’t think so. Knowing about giant wolf men and having one explode in your face were two different things.

I couldn’t go ask, though, because of stupid Sam and his God Complex. Hard as I had tried to explain to him the situation, he really didn’t care unless they bit her. I couldn’t tell if he was just naturally stubborn or if he was trying to annoy me into taking over as Alpha.

 “I can’t believe she _slapped_ him,” Embry said, not for the first time. “Dude, your girlfriend is seriously badass.”

“She’s not my…”

The back of my brain tickled. The Call – someone wanted us to turn.

“Break time’s over,” Embry grumbled, jumping up. I did the same, testing my foot out on the ground. Quickly and procedurally, we stripped off our shorts without looking at each other. I strapped mine around my leg with a rubber band and phased.

It was hard to get used to – and even harder to control. Basically, I was constantly on the edge of having a mental breakdown, letting all the nervous energy loose only when it was time to let the dog out. Put me and a bunch of other guys who felt the exact same way together in a room, and… well, at least we healed quick.

My body grew and changed in a single burning movement. My eyeline was a good two feet higher. I walked on four feet instead of two - back paw stinging a little as the phase messed with the healing. Even after five days, it was still pretty freaking strange.

 _Come to the road,_ Sam projected through the bond.

Paul phased in right after us, his mind blinking into existence. There was the briefest flicker of unguarded emotion before he reeled it in. It was usually pretty easy to keep our thoughts concealed, but things slipped through. He was still mad.

_What is it?_

_New trails,_ was all Sam said. That got us moving. Paul met up with us a few moments later, and I almost didn’t notice the way he carefully kept to the other side of Embry.

At full speed, we reached the other side of the reservation within minutes. We all phased back and tugged our clothes on while Sam explained.

“These weren’t here this morning,” he said, pointing to the road that lead to Forks. We could all smell the sharp, bittersweet scent of a vampire. Three of them, it looked like. But not the ones we were hunting.

“They didn’t cross over,” I observed, stepping out on to the asphalt. “Cullens.”

Sam nodded in agreement.

“They came for Bella,” I concluded. Sam nodded again, and with some degree of relief I realized he was finally starting to understand. Silent communication passed between us. 

“Why would they?” Paul snapped. I looked at him in surprise, then at Sam. I hadn’t told them the full story, because it felt a little wrong. So all Sam knew was that she had befriended them.

“I’m not allowed to talk to her, so what would I know?”

Paul just rolled his eyes.

“I talked to Billy,” Sam said. We all stepped back into the trees as a car sped past. I leaned against a mossy green trunk, crossing my arms to hide clenched fists.

“How is my old man?”

“Bella got Charlie involved,” he said. Embry whistled. “He called your dad this morning asking about gang activity.”

“Gee,” I tilted my head up to the rain and closed my eyes. “D’ya think that might be because I _told_ her there was a gang?”

Someone sighed impatiently.

“Do you think she’s scared because I stopped talking to her? Or maybe she noticed that I grew six inches in three weeks _?”_

“Jake,” Sam started harshly. There was a short pause. “I’m sorry. I should have let you talk to her.”

I opened my eyes in surprise. He looked…sincere.

“Oh. Okay. I’m sorry, too.”

“Alright.” His jaw unclenched, and everyone seemed to let out a breath. They were probably sick to death of hearing us go at it. “Well, I guess the Cullens know about us. It doesn’t change anything, it just means we have to keep to our land, and…”

I stopped listening, staring off in the direction of Forks. Why would they have come all the way to the treaty line, just to leave without saying anything to us? Did they somehow think Bella was in danger? Which, okay, maybe a little, for a split second. But how would they _know_? She had been down on Monday, and we hadn’t found any trails.

 “Jacob and Paul, go for now. I’ll hop on if I can.”

I winced as he said my name, coming back to the present. Focus hadn’t been my strong suit the past week, and the thought of another endless patrol shift made me want to blow my brains out.

“Can I talk to you for a sec?” He asked me.

Paul phased without waiting and took off to the North, and Jared and Embry walked toward town together, leaving us on the side of the road. The rain had turned into a fine mist, making the leech smell stronger, somehow. Another car passed.

“Do you think she’s with them now?”

I shrugged. “Maybe.”

Sam thought for a second. “Alright. I’m lifting the order. You need to talk to her – _tonight_ ,” he added when I perked up.

“It is night.”

He shook his head. “After you patrol for a while. She has to go home sooner or later, and you need to cool off – “

“I’m fine,” I snapped. Sam raised his eyebrows at me.

 “This can’t happen again. Not with Chief Swan.”

“Charlie,” I corrected him, without really having to think about it. “Hang on a sec. She told on us _before_ Paul freaked out on her?"

"Yeah. Why?"

I looked back to the road. "It’s not…like her. Something doesn’t feel right.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know.” The scents were similar enough to be from the same 'family', but there were subtle differences that told me other things. Two females and one male, I could tell, but I had no idea how. I just knew. “You said you’d never found a Cullen trail on this side of Forks. Why now?”

“Maybe Bella will have an answer,” he said hopefully. “Let’s just hope they don’t come back.”

I nodded. More vampires was the last thing we needed.

 _I’ve got North side,_ Paul said as I phased in. The bond fell silent, and I knew it would stay that way. It was easy enough to keep my thoughts from bleeding over, but with Paul I had to try extra hard. Separating my private thoughts from the intense quiet of the bond was like juggling knives. Knives that were on fire.

Well, the bond wasn’t _completely_ silent. I could still sort of feel his mind, but it was like Paul had put his nose in the metaphorical corner. Not at all like, for example, Embry, who let nearly everything through when we were on patrol together. More than I needed to hear, honestly.

 _East_ , I answered, taking off on the perimeter of the border in resignation. I was still too chickenshit to ask him what his problem was. In hindsight, I thought I understood why he had stopped talking to me after joining the pack. But Sam just wanted us to keep quiet. He never ordered us to be complete _dicks_ to people who didn’t know. And when I joined the pack, I hoped things would change. But they hadn’t, and I didn’t understand. It wasn’t like me and Embry hated each other now.

Then again, I was pretty sure Embry wasn’t a total closet case.

Bella, I told myself. I should be thinking about Bella. Now that the order was gone, I itched to go talk to her. She deserved an apology, and explanation, _something._

I hadn’t expected her to care so much, much less show up out of nowhere and pick a fight with three guys twice her size. Embry was right – she was a badass. And maybe it wasn’t all Sam’s fault. Maybe I should have –

 _Sorry about earlier,_ Paul projected, cutting through my thoughts. I nearly stumbled over my front two paws in surprise. Paul? Speaking to _me?_

_I wasn’t going to hurt her._

I _know that,_ I answered hesitantly. Of course he wouldn’t hurt her. Not on purpose, anyway. I hadn’t even thought to be mad about that.

_I know what it looked like. I just wasn’t expecting her to hit me._

I laughed, the sound coming through my muzzle like a cough. _Nobody expected that._

A flash of irritation, but he didn’t answer. So much for friendly conversation.

I ran for a while, pushing myself faster and faster to get to the end of the perimeter. It didn’t take long, so I turned back and ran it a few more times. After a little over an hour, Embry phased in.

_Guys. Bella’s back. Just drove past my house._

_What? Which way?_  I turned toward town, abandoning the patrol. _Take my spot._

 _No way, man,_ he argued. _I don’t know how to say this, Jake, but I think she came back for_ me _._

 _Oh, I’m sure,_ I snorted. _She watched you throw up hot dog at the bonfire. Real sexy stuff._

_I’m pretty sure she was asleep for that part. Paul, you saw it, didn’t you? You guys were there._

Jogging suddenly seemed like a great idea, and I phased out before Paul could answer. My toes twinged again as I started at a quick pace. Avoiding everything that made me uncomfortable was starting to feel like a juggling act.

Just close enough to the house to hear the truck engine come to an idle in the driveway, I picked up my speed. Inside, I could hear Billy wheeling toward the window. Whatever. If he wanted to come outside and face me like a man, he could.

Then I saw the tiny person climbing out of the truck.

“Bella!” I called, running over to her. She smiled, which was a lot better than the screaming I had expected. I hugged her without thinking, free of the order and all its restrictions. It was almost like old times – a week ago, I reminded myself. Less, even. Then the smell hit me.

I pulled away, trying not to gag.

“Jake…” she reached out for a half second before sighing and dropping her hands. Her hair framed her face damply. “The Cullens sent me here.”

“Obviously." I sniffed, nose burning. The same scents from before, and some new ones. "So you’re here on business.”

Her face scrunched up. “What? No. I’m going to deliver a message, and then you and I are going to have a _long_ talk about communication. Got it?”

I exhaled, trying to keep the relief off my face. “Sure.”

“They wanted me to tell you –“

“Wait. Sam should hear this.” Stupidly, I felt my pockets. My phone was still at Emily’s. “Shit. It’ll be faster if I…”

I realized I didn’t really want to say it. I didn’t know if she would be scared again.

“Edythe told me about the…the thought sharing thing," she said, sounding nervous.

Sam wouldn’t like that. I didn’t like it, either.

“Yeah? What else did they tell you?”

She glanced over to the house, where the curtains fell back over the window. Her expression darkened.

“Just wait here, okay?” I said, turning toward the trees. The Cullens had _sent_ her? As much as I hated that she had been with them at all, this was seriously the only exciting development all week.

“Can I see?” She asked with wide eyes. I almost felt _my_ self blushing. “I-I mean I just want to see what you look like. As a… wolf.”

“I guess so,” I shrugged.

Once we were in the foliage, I took a few steps away from her, and then a few more. She turned around when I pulled my shorts off, and the loud tearing noise of the phase had her spinning around to face me. I could hear her heart pounding.

 _I sent the call already,_ Embry said. _Probably woke Jared up._

 _Good._ I sat down on my haunches, letting Bella stroke my snout hesitantly. It was growing dark, but my wolf vision was always perfect. I could see her wide gray eyes. _She brought us a message from the Cullens._

Matching bursts of curiosity and excitement.

 _Is it gonna be a fight?_ Paul thought savagely.

 _I don’t know,_ I answered honestly. _I’m waiting on Sam. Where is that asshole?_

Embry laughed in his head. _Not answering, apparently. Probably gettin’ busy with Emily._

“You’re pretty, Jake.” Bella said, stepping back. “Best in show.”

I blew air out of my nose, the closest I could do to a snort. _Well, come back to town. We all need to hear this._

_Sam said –_

_Now_ I’m _saying,_ I thought harshly, out of nowhere. The projection was almost as loud as one of Sam’s commands. Embry turned toward the rez, and Paul let through something like surprise.

 _Sorry,_  I thought quickly. _We’ll meet at Emily’s. Give Sam some time to finish._

 _Shouldn’t take long!_ Embry thought cheerily. _I’ll go get Jared._

Bella let out a squeak as I phased back, throwing her hand in front of her eyes.

“A little _warning._ ”

“Sorry,” I chuckled, pulling my clothes on. I’d done that twice now, ordering everyone around with Alpha force. It wasn’t on purpose, but sometimes they just needed to _listen <\em>. “C’mon. We gotta go to Emily’s.”_

__

“That’s Sam’s wife, right?” She fell into step beside me.

__

“Good memory.”

__

There was a short silence. I could feel her stewing on something.

__

“So, I guess I can’t call it a cult, but…” She trailed off, frowning bitterly. “Oh, I’ll just say it. Those guys are jerks.”

__

I laughed in surprise. “What?”

__

“They were _laughing_ at me!”

__

I raised an eyebrow. “ _That’s_ what you’re mad about?”

__

She looked away.

__

“Hey,” I put a hand on her arm, bringing her to a stop. “If it makes you feel any better, you must have really gotten to Paul to get him to lose it like that.”

__

She put her hand over mine, looking up with searching eyes. Suddenly, all that nervous energy I’d been struggling with for the past week fell away. At the very least, Bella was still Bella.

__

“It’s not a cult?"

__

I shook my head. “Not in the classical sense, anyway.”

__

Wind rustled the leaves, and Bella shivered.

__

“Are you happy?”

__

I thought about lying, but she’d see right through me.

__

“That’s kind of hard to answer.”

__

Her eyes shone, like she was going to start crying. “I was so worried about you, Jake.”

__

“I know,” I said, guilty and ashamed. “I’m sorry. I really am, but I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone. Need to know basis only.”

__

“I already knew about vampires,” she muttered, looking away.

__

I dropped my hand. “You already _knew_?”

__

“Kind of.” It was her turn to look guilty. “Edythe told me when we went to the concert. Enough for me to know that they weren’t exactly cannibals.”

__

“Thanks for the heads up.”

__

“It was a need to know basis,” she shot back snidely, striding off toward the car."

__

“Okay, okay.” I followed, grinning against my will. “Point taken. But I really _couldn’t_ have told you. Sam...he can sort of command us to do things.”

__

She started the car with a frown, holding her hands up to the vents to warm them. “Forks is _so_ weird.”

__

The guys were waiting for us on Emily’s porch, sitting in the warm circle of yellow light cast by the lone bulb above the front door. Bella parked the car, glowering out at them.

__

“That one’s Paul, right?”

__

“Easy, killer,” I muttered, pushing the door open. It was the first thing she’d said the whole ride over. “As much as I would like to watch you two go at it again, Paul’s not the bad guy.”

__

“He was mean to you,” she called after me, as though things were that simple. As though she would personally fuck up anyone who was ever mean to me. I was still pissed she hadn’t told me about the vampire thing, but that helped.

__

“He wanted me to say he was sorry,” I lied, opening her door. “For scaring you.”

__

"Whatever.” She climbed down. “Let’s do this. Wolf pack meeting. Sure.”

__

I ignored her muttering, grabbing her hand and towing her toward the house. It was great having her around, especially right now. I felt more in control. More sure of myself. She was like the little sister I never had.

__

“Door’s locked,” Jared said, turning the handle for emphasis.

__

“I guess Sam’s still mid-stroke,” Embry called to the front door, just loud enough for anyone inside the house to hear, then turned to us with an idiotic grin.

__

“Hey, Bella.”

__

“Hey,” she said stiffly, gripping my hand in a spasm as the front door flew open.

__

“What is it?” Sam asked, a little wild-eyed. Jared pressed his lips together tightly. Embry just laughed. “What’s she doing here?”

__

Bella pulled her hand from mine, arranging her face in what I really hoped wasn’t supposed to be _threatening_ , because it was too funny to be scary.

__

“I have a message,” she said, raising her chin. “From the Cullens.”

__

Sam’s eyes went wide, and he stepped onto the porch.

__

“What is it?” He asked, dropping into his manly-man voice.

__

“They want to help.”

__

“ _What?_ ” Me and Paul spoke at the same time. Because, _what?_

__

Bella gave me a hard glance. “They know about the…the rogue vampires you’re hunting. They don’t want them here, either. So they’re offering to help you.”

__

Sam looked around uncertainly. It almost seemed like he was _thinking_ about it – which made no sense.

__

“No way. We don’t need them. Sam!”

__

He didn’t look at me. I blamed Emily – He was way too impressionable now that he’d gotten one in.

__

“This is _our_ business,” Paul said. Jared and I nodded in agreement. “We have to finish it.”

__

“Am I missing something?” Bella cut in, still looking angry. “If there are wild vampires in Forks, it’s everyone’s business. Mine, too.”

__

“No, it’s _not,_ ” Paul growled. I glared at him, taking a half step between the two of them. He didn’t like that very much. I saw his arms start to shake.

__

“Stop it,” Sam said. Paul closed his eyes like he had a migraine. “Bella, you better come inside.”

__

Emily was already working at the stove, hair swept up in a ponytail and an apron tied around her front.

__

“How does bean soup sound?”

__

“Or _gasmic_ ,” Embry said. Sam smacked him on the back of the head.

__

“Emily, this is Bella,” I said, sitting heavily in a chair. “Bella, Emily.”

__

“Bella.” She waved with her spatula. “So nice to meet you! Are you hungry?”

__

Bella smiled. “Nice to meet you. I’m not hungry.”

__

Emily nodded and looked back at the stove. I think that was the first time anyone had dared refuse her food.

__

“How much did you tell her?” Sam asked, sitting across from me. “About the legends?”

__

“Just the one.” Bella took the chair next to mine, and Paul took the last one. We all could have been one big fucked up family. Except for her freaky gray eyes. “She said they know about the pack mind.”

__

“No way.” Jared’s eyebrows looked in danger of flying off his head completely. Sam pinched the bridge of nose.

__

“What else do you know?”

__

Bella knotted her hands together in her lap. “Everyone has done a pretty good job of keeping me in the dark so far.”

__

I frowned. She was the worst liar on the planet.

__

“Did they say anything about the treaty?”

__

“Edythe mentioned it.”

__

“Edythe?” Jared wrinkled his nose. “What kind of name is that?”

__

Sam ignored him. “What did she say?”

__

“Um, something about an attack on the village. A long time ago, before the Cullens came here.”

__

I stiffened. “How do they know about that?”

__

“They probably just did their research,” Embry said, watching Emily’s progress with the soup carefully. “It’s gotta be online, right?”

__

“Maybe in the library,” Sam allowed, taking a cup of coffee from Emily. Bella stared resolutely at some spot on the table. Yep, she definitely knew something.  

__

“The village was attacked by three vampires. The legends say two were men, one a woman.”

__

I tried not to doze off while he went through the whole long, boring ordeal. I was sick to _death_ of legends. Vampires attack the village. Wolves attack, kill one of the leeches, and the other two return years later for the Chief’s wife. Now, they were back for the third and final time, and we were gonna get them. Blah, blah, blah. I could have told it in two seconds.

__

Emily handed Paul a mug. He nodded once in thanks, his large hand wrapping around the hot ceramic. I remembered one of the last times we’d hung out, before…well, everything. Laughing, gripping my knee for just a moment too long.

__

My eyes lingered on his throat as he swallowed, and his eye caught mine. Then he looked at Bella, so Ilooked at Bella, and Bella was looking at _me,_ so she looked at _Paul._ We all looked away from each other.

__

Sam reached the end of the story.

__

“About a year ago, they returned. The redhead and the one with dark eyes. I didn’t know exactly why, but I did all I could to hold them off. I can only guess they assumed there were more of us, which there are, now.” Sam’s face darkened as he looked around at us. “And more of us will change. More teenagers. Children. Until the threat is taken care of.”

__

Bella’s eyes flicked, insultingly, to me. “Children.”

__

Sam nodded once. “It could be anyone from…from the major bloodlines. The descendants of the original pack.”

__

There was a moment of silence that was awkward for everyone but Bella, who had no idea. The front two legs of Embry’s chair fell to the floor with a wooden thump.

__

Bella and Sam shared a look.“We haven’t been able to catch them,” he said. “There’s something we’re missing. Maybe… maybe it’s the Cullens.” 

_I opened my mouth to argue, but Bella turned to me, eyes pleading._

__

“I trust them, Jacob. I _do_. They want to help. And they _can._ ”

__

I didn’t like that she was singling me out. I couldn’t be the _only_ one who thought this was insane. 

__

“Also...” Bella took a deep breath. “They have…powers.”

__

“Powers?” Sam raised his eyebrows.

__

She nodded. “Not just the speed, or the strength. I’m not sure I’m supposed to tell you this, but whatever. Edythe can read minds.”

__

“Are you kidding?” Embry laughed, shocked. Everyone else just stared. Emily paused in her cooking to shoot Bella an interested look. “Like us?”

__

“There’s more,” she muttered, taking in our expressions. “Alice can see the future.”

__

I looked at Sam. The shock and confusion on his face matched mine.

__

“The future,” Sam muttered.

__

“Yeah, but she can’t see _you_. I mean, werewolves in general. Any future concerning you makes her blind.”

__

“That’s useful,” Paul said. I looked over, and he was smiling into his coffee. It wasn’t a very happy smile. Too vindictive.

__

“I’m not telling you this so you can _fight_ them,” Bella said, sounding panicked. “I’m telling you that you _need_ them.”

__

“Alright, calm down,” I said, ignoring her black glare. “We’re not gonna fight them. Yet.”

__

She shook her head. “We all want the same thing. For everyone to be safe. My dad is out there right nowlooking for a _bear_. What if something happens to him?”

__

I glanced at Sam guiltily. Unfortunately, she kind of had a point. People had died because we hadn’t stopped the bloodsuckers. Not anyone we knew, and definitely no one from the tribe. But people still.

__

Her chair scraped back as she stood up. “Think about it. Jacob has my number.”

__

She left a stunned silence in her wake. Embry made a kissy face at me, and I didn’t need the bond to know he had another dumbass remark ready. I followed her out the door.

__

“Bella, wait!”

__

 She stopped, halfway across the drive. “What?”

__

I pulled her into my chest, holding her tiny body to mine. I didn’t even care about the stench. And I didn't want her to go. “You’re awesome. You know that, right?”

__

“I think so,” she said, sagging slightly. “I just need to sleep.”

__

I didn’t let go, either because I was unwilling or unable. I felt like crying, oddly enough. Like the lack of anxiety had made way for everything else I’d been trying to ignore.

__

“Thank you.”

__

“For what?” She had to crane her neck just to look at me.

__

“For worrying about me. For caring.”

__

She stepped back, looking at me like I was an idiot. “Of _course_ I care.”

__

It was dark, and her face was shadowed, but I could see the love there. For a moment, I thought about how great we would be together. If that was my life. If that was _her_ life. It would have been so easy.

__

But I was Jacob Black, and things were never _easy._

__

“You’re easy,” I murmured into the wind.

__

She jerked back with a startled laugh. “ _Excuse_ me?”

__

Oops. “I meant…you’re easy to be with. Be friends with.”

__

She burst into laughter, leaning her head against my chest.

__

“So are you. I mean, you kinda shot your track record this week, but I’ll give you another chance.”

__

“Thanks.” I smiled, even though she couldn’t see me.

__

The front door slammed, making us both look. Paul strode off into the woods. Sam must have sent him back on patrol. I looked back at Bella, unable to hold it in anymore.

__

“So. You like a vampire.”

__

Her smile faded. “You like a werewolf.”

__

“Keep your voice down,” I hissed, glancing back at the house. “Bella…It’s dangerous. _They_ are dangerous.”

__

She pulled away, crossing her arms. “No offense, Jacob, but they said the same thing about you.”

__

“So you don’t care?” My voice came out louder than intended, and deep gray eyes narrowed dangerously. “It doesn’t _bother_ you?”

__

“Does what bother me?”

__

“That they suck blood.”

__

She was shaking her head before I’d finished speaking, cheeks flushing a deep burgundy.

__

“It’s not human blood.”

__

She reacted strongly to whatever my face looked like, shrinking back. I struggled to force my expression into something blank, but it was hard. My hands shook.

__

“How can you try to justify what they are? What they _do?_ It’s sick, Bella!”

__

“None of them asked for this,” she snapped. “They’re _good_. They try to be _good._ ”

__

“They’re  _leeches_ ,” I snapped right back. “What do you think happens to you when one of them gets the munchies?”

__

 Just when I thought she would start crying, her face twisted in anger and she grabbed my hands, holding them up so I could see how violently they shook. The anger was stronger than I’d realized.

__

“What happens to me when you get too angry?” She asked lowly. “What almost happened to me this afternoon, with Paul? I really think werewolves are 0-1 for attempts on my life so far.”

__

“That was – “

__

“No, it wasn’t.” She dropped her hands. “I know you won’t hurt me. I know they won’t hurt me, either. You need to trust my judgement, Jake, okay?”

__

I looked into her eyes and saw that ridiculous look from before, like she was actually about to kick my ass. But she also looked tired, which I could understand.

__

I took the salty air into my lungs, able but reluctant to agree with her. She gave a half smile.

__

“Call me, okay? When you make up your mind. Or whenever.”

__

I nodded. “I will.”

__

“Do you mean it this time?”

__

Guilt burned my insides like an iron, and tears threatened my eyes. Every pent up emotion I’d felt over the past week was gonna come out, and I didn’t have the cash on me to pay Bella for therapy.

__

“Yeah. I promise.”

__

She turned back before getting into the car. “Can you tell Emily I’m sorry we met when I was in such a bad mood?”

__

           

__

********************

__

Sam joined the patrol after Bella left, twenty ounces lighter and full of pep. Something about the Cullens’ message was really exciting to him. I helped Emily clean the kitchen for a while, making random conversation. I hadn’t known her for a week, but she had basically become the den mother, and was generally pretty cool. There was nothing to dislike.

__

As usual when I stood still for too long, the exhaustion started to creep up on me as I scrubbed dishes. Sleep was more of a privilege than a right these days.

__

“Sam worries about you, you know,” Emily said, drying the plate as I handed it over.

__

“Yeah, I know,” I grunted. Someone had microwaved tomato sauce on this one. Probably Paul. He’d known it would be me cleaning up after him.

__

“Your father is worried, too. He just called me this morning, asking how you were.”

__

I scrubbed harder. “I know he’s worried.”

__

She put a hand over mine. I stopped, looking up.

__

“You’re going to break that.”

__

“Sorry.” I let her take it out of my hand and shoo me toward the bathroom.

__

“Go take a shower. And throw your shorts in the hamper, they’re filthy. I’ll put out some of Sam’s.”

__

“Yes ma’am,” I saluted before shutting the bathroom door. There wasn’t much hot water left, so I made it short. I was too exhausted to properly enjoy it, anyway. You would think, with all the other stuff, some extra energy would come along. But no. Sam kept me and Embry running patrol whenever we weren’t in school, and the only thing keeping me from dropping out like Paul was free lunch and Emily’s sympathy food. I thought Billy was maybe giving her some money to keep me fed.

__

The springs beneath the thin couch cushions dug into my side. I had to curl in on myself just to fit, but I was unconscious way too quickly for it to matter. Sam came back sometime after eleven and threw me on patrol.

__

_Still nothing_ , Jared thought as I ran sluggishly to the border. _That’s three days._

__

The bloodsuckers had been creeping in and out of our range, teasing us. Their trails always led to the ocean, which sent us panicking back to town in case they washed up there. Only Sam and Jared had actually seen them, Sam the year before and Jared about a week before I turned. Their memories were crisp, unmistakable. Ginger and ole’ Black Eyes.  

__

It was pitch black out, and so cold all of the forest animals had burrowed away for the night. I was pretty warm from the running and all the fur, but Jared was a little smaller with shorter hair, and kept complaining. Nothing happened until Paul came on for me around three.

__

I dragged myself back to town, breaking through the trees by Emily’s on two feet. To my surprise, Embry was sitting on the front porch.

__

“What are you doing up?”

__

Embry shrugged. “Waiting for you.”

__

He tossed a black rectangle through the air. My phone.

__

“What for?”

__

Something was bothering him. I could tell. He didn’t speak until I sat next to him. We were both shirtless, but the freezing wind blowing off the ocean didn’t bother me at all.

__

“Dude, it’s Friday. Remember all the shit we used to do on the weekends?”

__

I chuckled. “You mean a week ago?”

__

“I can’t believe it, Jake. I can’t fucking believe it.” He dropped his head to his hands with a groan.

__

“I know,” I said dully. An unspoken third person sat between us on the steps, like an open wound. Quil.

__

“He hates us,” Embry said. “I don’t know if that’s fixable.”

__

I looked down at my phone, seeing all of my missed texts. I let my eyes pass over the ones from Quil very briefly. “You don’t hate me.”

__

Embry scoffed. “I wanted to pound your face in, Jake. But that was two days. Why hasn’t he turned yet? What’s taking so long?”

__

I leaned against the step behind me, closing my eyes. After the initial freak out, when I really got my head around what my life had become, I’d tried my best to get around the gag order and talk to Quil. _Nothing_ worked. Bella, I had just had to stop thinking about. It made me feel like shit, not being able to talk to her about...well, stuff. But it was just easier. Better for everyone.

__

Embry and Quil were my _life._ For years and years. Even though no one doubted that Quil would turn, the fact that anyone had the ability to control me like Sam did was horrible. I tried texting, calling, writing notes, but my own body betrayed me every time.

__

Now I had Embry to talk to, which was awesome. But it was worse, too, because Quil was all alone. On the outside. Knowing that my best friend was out there hating me kind of sucked.

__

“I got something,” Embry said, standing up. “It’s at my house, c’mon.”

__

I followed. “Gonna propose to me under the moonlight, Em? I gotta say, it’s kind of cliché.”

__

“You wish. I’m totally saving myself.” He wagged his eyebrows and sighed dramatically. “For my sweet, misunderstood Paul.”

__

I forced a laugh, looking at the ground.

__

“Seriously. It’s all doom and gloom with him these days. I get it, but, like, we’re all here together. Why make it harder?”

__

I didn’t have any answers for him, so I kept my mouth shut and waited in the shadow of a tree while he crept inside his house.

__

The moon was out, full and big. I considered howling up at it, but decided to close my eyes and just breathe. The air smelled like trees and brine and a million other things I couldn’t name.

__

Without looking, I knew what my texts looked like. Bella and Quil were first, both unopened. Nothing but notifications of how shitty I was.

__

Underneath them was Paul. We hadn’t texted since just before he changed for the first time. I’d gone over them enough times to know exactly what they said. We’d been planning a hike up to the northern cliffs.

__

“Got it!” Embry jogged back out with a large bottle full of clear liquid. I opened my eyes and grinned.

__

“I have to be on patrol at six,” he said, uncapping and taking a long chug. “Fuck it. This is for Quil.”

__

 He handed the bottle out, and I took a shot without hesitation. The burn of alcohol was different than before, somehow. Weaker.

__

“For Quil.”

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thx for patience once again school is kicking my ass and nothing I write feels good enough :)


	9. Treaty, Schmeaty

Quil, as it turned out, was done waiting. The Call woke me up from a deep sleep on Emily’s couch the very next morning. Sam glanced at me, dropped his book to the kitchen table, and ran out the door. I was right behind him, blinking in the sunlight.

_ITHURTSITHURTSOHMYGODIDIDNTMEANTO –_

The screams were very obviously Quil’s, and I was at once elated and upset. This was the worst part – pure, unbridled panic. Because not only had you just fucking exploded into a giant wolf, there were voices in your head.

 _Where the hell is he?_ Sam thought over the screams, flinching at the sheer volume.

 _Jeez, was I that loud?_ Embry thought, worry clouding over the thoughts.

Sam was right – the most important thing was finding where he was and making sure he didn’t go on a rampage. I looked for the glimpses Quil couldn’t yet control, seeing trees and a turned over wheelbarrow with plants growing out of it.

 _This way,_ I yelled, nipping at Sam to get his attention. He followed close behind, ordering Jared and Embry to stay on patrol. A new turn was when the pack was at its weakest. Without control over the bond, everything Quil was feeling got injected straight into our brains.

We heard him before we saw him. High pitched whining alternating with panicked growling. He was running in circles and throwing himself against trees, digging his claws into the dirt and generally just exaggerating.

 _Quil,_ calm down, Sam commanded, voice ringing with authority. The light brown wolf turned to face us, screaming rocketing around the inside of my skull. We weren’t very far from the center of town, and the noise would be drawing attention soon.

_IDIDNTMEANTOITWASANACCIDENTICANTICANT –_

_Where the fuck is Paul?_ We needed a third body here to keep Quil from running off.

 _This is worse than usual,_ Sam thought apprehensively, pawing at the ground.

I moved to the left, blocking the most direct route toward town, and Quil started with the circles again. The tree he slammed into wobbled dangerously.

 _Can’t focus,_ Jared grumbled.

 _Can someone shut him up?_ Embry had stopped running, wanting to help.

I heard a groaning sound behind me, and dread pooled in my stomach. Any humans around were in danger with Quil so out of control. I turned, and the dread solidified into a heavy rock.

Over the panic of the moment, we hadn’t noticed the smell of blood.

Dirt and rock crunched under me as I phased and dropped to my knees next to Paul.

Four deep gashes ran down the side of his torso and stomach, and his face had a line across the left side. Blood poured from all of them in sickening gushes of deep red. I thought I saw bone.

“Paul,” I said frantically, not knowing what to do with my hands. “Paul!”

He made another soft noise, but his eyes didn’t open.

Sam whined, clearly wanting to talk to me but unwilling to take his eyes off Quil.

“He’s alive!" I leaned in, looking closer. My stomach turned. It didn’t look like it was healing. I didn’t even know if it _could._ Quil whined again, and I put two and two together.

Then I put my pants on.

“Quil!” I yelled, running over to him. “Quil, he’s okay! Paul – he’s alive!”

Quil slumped to the ground, emitting some coughing sounds that could have been sobs. Sam straightened up and nodded his head at me. I guessed the screaming had quieted down a little.

“Can you handle this?” I asked him. He nodded again. “I’m taking him to Emily’s.”

Sam sniffed at Quil’s head as I picked Paul up off the ground. It wasn’t easy, and the pained gasp he let out as I hauled him into my arms made my heart ache. I thought, or hoped, that the flow of blood was slowing slightly, but carrying him like this sure wasn’t helping. My head was free of Quil’s panic, but my own was taking over. I'd made the decision not to go to the hospital, obviously, but if the worst happened right now, it would be my fault. I didn’t know if I could live with it.

Embry crashed through the trees about twenty paces later, phasing and tripping over his own feet to stop and stare.

“Oh, God.”

“Help me,” I grunted. He stood opposite me, taking half of Paul’s weight. It was awkward going, and we had to make a wide arc around the other houses, but we were making good time. Or so I hoped.

“What happened?”

“Quil must have phased on top of him. Idiot must've said something to piss him off just enough.”

“It was just a matter of time. Better one of us take the fall,” Embry said grimly. I bit back my retort, knowing it was true.

Paul’s head lolled as we half-jogged through the trees. My hands were covered in blood, and it was hard to keep a grip, physically and mentally. Embry's running narration of how bad Paul looked didn't help. I tried my best to tune him out.

When Emily’s house was finally in sight, I allowed myself the smallest second of relief. Then Paul’s limp limbs tensed, and he started to scream. Deep, real screams that meant a whole lot of pain. His arm tightened around my neck, and it became impossible to hold him. We lowered him to the ground.

Emily’s backdoor flew open, and her hands flew to her mouth.

“Get towels,” I yelled. “Gauze, antiseptic – whatever you have!”

Paul screamed again, breath warm against my skin. My knees dug into the ground. 

“Paul, Paul, man, I know it hurts, but you gotta stop screaming,” I said, trying to keep him still. They could probably hear him all the way to Forks.

“Fuck you,” he spat, back arching. “Fuck, _fuck.”_

“I’m not gonna take that too personally.”

Emily ran across the yard, arms full of supplies.

“What do we do?” I asked, trying not to sound too scared shitless.

“Get the towels under him.” Her shock was replaced by a calm sternness. She gave me and Embry each two blue towels, and we worked on getting them underneath Paul, which was kind of hard with his arm still clenched around me.

“How long ago did this happen?” Emily asked, digging into a large red box.

“Like, fifteen minutes, maybe.” I slipped my head free and turned to catch a breath of fresh air.

“Put this over his face,” she handed me another towel, and I pressed it to the gashes, the only place blood still flowed freely. He winced and made a weak attempt to push me away.

“Where’s Sam?” She said into her box, voice shaking slightly.

“He’s with Quil.”

“Quil did this?” She sounded incredulous and relieved at the same time.

  
“I don’t know. Probably. We got there after. Sam’s fine.”

Her shoulders relaxed slightly.

“Can you hear me, Paul?”

He let out a groan in answer.

“I have to rinse the wounds, okay?”

His breathing was shallow and fast, but he nodded once.

“Hold him still,” she said, with all the authority of an Alpha. I wrapped a hand around the flesh of Paul’s thigh, quickly moving it down to match where Embry held his knee. I put my other hand on his shoulder.

Emily shook up some liquid in a white bottle and slowly poured it out over Paul’s abdomen. It smelled sharp, almost like bleach. He groaned, hand flying up and grabbing my wrist. I stared for a second, then he convulsed and I remembered I was supposed to be holding him down.

“I have to rinse it with water,” Emily said. “I’ll be right back. Don’t let him move.”

I let go of his leg to put a slight pressure over the towel covering the left side of his face. Blood had soaked through, turning the fabric a sick purple.

“How’s it look?” Paul said unexpectedly, eyes still shut. His voice sounded weird. I glanced at Embry.

“You got fucked,” I said, as honestly as possible. “But Emily seems pretty calm. The bleeding slowed down.”

“I think I’m gonna puke,” Embry said, blinking up at the sky and taking deep breaths. The screen door banged open as Emily rushed back to the makeshift gurney.

“Looks better,” she said with a forced positivity, crouching down and pouring water out over the gashes. Paul made another pained noise deep in his throat, squeezing my wrist too hard. I focused on that instead of watching Emily peel back the towel on his face and replace it with gauze.

“You okay?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“I’m gonna kill him,” Paul muttered. “Quil’s fucking dead, man.”

Embry chuckled, still looking straight up as Emily worked a thick cream over the torn skin. It made me want to barf, too, so I focused on Paul’s face, twisted in pain.

“Embry,” Emily nodded to the house. “Bring me the green blanket from the closet. Hurry.”

She started putting something else over the wounds. The smell of coppery blood and burning antiseptic made my head spin.

“How’s his eye?” I asked.

“Look for yourself,” she muttered, and I abruptly felt silly for being so queasy. 

It was a mess of skin and blood, but most of the damage seemed to have missed his left eye. Emily turned his head gently and poured some more liquid over it.

Embry appeared behind her with the blanket, shifting on his feet anxiously. Paul’s eyes fluttered open, looking first at me.

“Talk to me,” Emily said gently, putting a hand on Paul’s good cheek. He moved his gaze to her, and I dragged in a breath.

“I’m here,” he answered, but it was weak.

She took his hand, pressing her fingers in to take a pulse. “Any nausea?”

“I – I don’t know.”

“Embry, give me the blanket. You guys are gonna have to pick him up.” She sighed. “I have to wrap him.”

It was a long and difficult process, trying to lift Paul off the ground without jostling his wounds. Emily wound a roll of gauze up his torso very slowly, then around his head, leaving only his right eye, nose, and mouth visible.

We took him inside next, laying him on the couch on top of the blanket. He fell asleep or passed out at some point, but Emily said his heart rate and blood pressure were good enough that sleep was okay.

“I’ll stay,” I said to Embry. “Go help Sam with Quil.”

“Alright, man. Let us know if anything happens.”

I didn’t move at first, too full of adrenaline to process that the worst of it seemed to be over. I just watched Paul breathe.

“Jacob,” Emily said firmly, scrubbing her hands in the sink. “Go hose yourself off.”

I went numbly out the door and turned the freezing cold hose water on myself. The blood didn’t want to wash off, and Sam’s shorts were ruined.

Trying not to think too much, I started walking to my house. I had no idea what time it was. The sun wasn’t too high, so maybe nine or ten. Too early for this much shit to have happened.

Quil had really thrown a wrench in everything, unintentionally. Sam would want to recoup before even thinking about meeting with the Cullens, Paul would have to heal, someone would need to stay with Quil…leaving two to run patrol. Jesus.

“Jacob,” my dad said in shock, looking up from the paper. “What happened to you?”

“It wasn’t me, it was Paul,” I said shortly, walking to my room. His chair squeaked behind me.

“What happened?”

I dug through the sparse content of my dresser, looking for a clean pair of shorts. “Quil phased on top of him. He’s fine now.”

He blocked my path to the bathroom, face set in a stern expression.

“This isn’t a hotel, Jake.”

I bit back the first comments that came to mind. He really didn’t want to do this with me.

 “I have to shower and get back.”

“We need to talk about this,” he said stubbornly. “Please, son.”

“I’m not ready!” My yell reverberated off the walls. I took a breath to calm myself. “I’m not ready.”

He studied my face for a second before moving back. I went to the bathroom and shut the door, listening to my own breathing for a second. It took forever to scrub off the rest of Paul’s blood, and the tears I had been putting off since yesterday came back with a vengeance. I let a few of them free, wallowing in my own miserable self-pity. Did Sam ever lose it like this? Did he doubt himself as much as I did?

I knew part of it was the change, and the heightened emotions and physical toll made it harder to regulate emotion. Knowing didn’t help anything. It just all felt so real. I felt raw and open all the time.

Sam had been doing it for a _year_. Totally alone. I had been doing it for a week, and here I was, crying in the shower like I had been stood up on prom night. I couldn’t even claim to be crying for Paul, or Quil, or the starving children in Africa. No, I was just a selfish bastard.

I was the one who deserved to get clawed to shreds.

Dad left me alone when I left, but I felt his eyes on my back. I paused in the driveway, hesitating for a split second before turning toward the trees.

Being the disappointment was getting real old. I couldn’t look my own dad in the eyes anymore, Sam was always waiting for me to step up to the plate so he could get on with his life, and whatever the problem was between me and Paul had ruined our friendship.

Speaking of. I stood at the backdoor and watched Emily stack pillows under his feet so they were slightly higher than his head.

“Sit near him,” she told me. “He lost a lot of blood – he could get hypothermia.”

I sat on the floor as she disappeared down the hall. Paul didn’t look any different. Peaceful, even. The usually hard and pinched lines of his face softened with sleep. It would take a near death experience to chill him out. I hoped he wasn’t in pain.

Hesitantly, I put a hand to his forehead, jerking my arm back when Emily walked in. She handed me a pile of blankets to cover him with.

“Coffee?”

I nodded, tucking the edge of a blanket under Paul’s arm. I would be running patrol all night. Again. And after the piss-poor attempt at getting drunk last night, I was pretty sure that coffee was just a placebo for us. We were going to run ourselves so ragged that by the time the vampires actually showed up again, it wouldn’t be much of a fight. Maybe that’s why Sam had been so excited about the Cullens’ offer.

“What time is it?”

“Ten, almost,” Emily said.

I pulled my phone out from under the couch and dialed Bella’s number.

“Jake?”

I lowered my head to the cushion, nudging Paul’s elbow. “Hey, Bella.”

“What’s up?”

 “Oh…not much.”

There was a pause, and then Bella sighed. “They want to meet today.”

“When?”

“As soon as possible.”

I thought about it. The sooner the better, really. We were too vulnerable to waste any more time.

“I have to talk to Sam about it. I’ll call you back soon.”

“Sure,” she said. “Are you okay? You sound weird.”

“I’ll call you back, okay?” I tried to keep my voice from shaking, but it was a close thing. Sam was gonna kill me.

“What is it?” Emily looked concerned.

“The Cullens want to meet today.”

She pursed her lips, looking at Paul. “Can’t it wait?”

“Guess not.” I took a mug of coffee from her and downed it. “I have to talk to Sam.”

He was still sitting with Quil, black fur against light brown. He quirked his head at me as I walked up.

“Can we talk?”

I waited for him to phase. Quil made a distressed noise, but stayed on the ground. We walked a few feet away, keeping him in our line of sight.

“What happened?”

“I talked to Bella,” I said. “I think we should meet with the Cullens. Today.”

He looked as tired as I felt, so I cut him some slack.

“The way I see it,” I went on, “someone’s going to have to stay here with Quil, so we’re essentially down three people. We can go meet with them now and work something out, or we can wait until the other vamps break through our half-assed patrol and massacre the town.”

Sam flinched at the implication.  I waited for him to snap at me, or tell me I was wrong, but he didn’t.

“I agree with you.”

“You do?” I ignored the rush of pride at being given approval from him. It was a trick of my wolf-brain, urging me to be subservient to the Alpha. Or maybe I was really that starved of attention. Another question for my future psychologist.

He looked at me evenly, shaking his head ever so slightly. “For someone who doesn’t want to make any of the decisions, you’re pretty good at it.”

 

****************************

 

We were meeting them at one, and Sam shockingly didn’t put me on patrol. That gave me a few hours to spend passed out on the floor of Emily’s living room. I slept like a rock as Emily bustled around, endlessly busy with food and laundry and doting over Paul. He probably would have enjoyed it if he was awake, but for now it created a nice white noise for me to sleep to.

Sam nudged me awake with his foot. Well, kicked.

“Fifteen ‘till. You ready?”

“Born ready,” I yawned.

He kissed Emily goodbye, murmuring sweet nothings. I looked away, to Paul. If he was healing underneath the bandages, I couldn’t tell. Dried blood splotched the skin around his face and around the bandages, almost hiding the steady rise and fall of his chest.

“Don’t worry, Jacob,” Emily said. “I’ll take good care of him.”

I just ducked through the back door, away from her perceptiveness. Sam followed me out a moment later.

“I wanted to warn you, before we phase,” he looked at me seriously. “I wanted you to come because I’m hoping you’ll be able to control yourself.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“I already told you what it was like, being that close to them. The scent is overpowering. It can make you lose it.”

“I remember.”

“Well, I was hunting, then. This is…different.”

“I can handle it.”

It was hard to think even to myself with Quil’s babbling. Embry had dropped patrol to coach him on controlling it, but it seemed really hard for him to get his head around. Literally.

We reached the clearing pretty quickly, apparently early. Sam paced around me, swinging his great big head around to look into the trees every few seconds.

 _How does the mind reading thing work?_ He thought anxiously. _Can she read_ every _thought, or is it like the pack mind?_

_Worryifthisshouldendsoon –_

_Hell if I know._

_– friendsnowmotherworriedvampirewolfvampiresandwich –_

_Sorry guys,_ Embry said over the tirade. _I’m doing my best over here._ _He’s making me hungry, though._

 _Hey Quil,_ I tried, sitting on the damp grass, _can you picture your mom naked for me?_

The words put the image in his head, therefore all of our heads, and Quil’s mind went blank with shock.

 _Fuck you, Jake,_ he thought, and then there was quiet. It started up a second later, but a clear thought was a good start. Sam huffed in amusement, then straightened up.

Footsteps. To the East. I got to my feet, a little shocked. They were fast. _Really_ fast.

 _Seven of them,_ Sam thought. I shifted nervously. I had seen Dr. Cullen before, a few years ago, but all I remembered was that he looked so good it was almost weird. I wondered how different he would look to me now.

We heard them stop and walk at a human pace a ways off. Sam and I both relayed the visuals of what we were seeing through to Embry, Jared, and Quil. The frantic thought stream picked up speed. I felt bad for Quil - this was a hell of a lot to take in on your first day.

Dr. Fang was in front, looking pretty much exactly how I remembered. A woman walked at his side, really good looking, mid-to-late thirties, maybe, but it was hard to tell. Everyone else looked relatively young. The obvious threat, in my opinion, was the big dude. He could have been one of us, almost, if it wasn’t for the glowing skin and yellow eyes.

Then there was the skinny guy.

 _What the hell could do_ that? Embry thought, seeing through our eyes. The leech was _covered_ in bite marks, just visible under the weak sunlight. It was so subtle I doubted humans could see it. I mean, the Cullens went to _high school_. This wouldn’t have flown under the radar.

The other three were women, standing close together. One of them was blonde and beautiful in a way that would have had Embry falling at her feet in worship. The tall redhead – Edythe – had a really unpleasant expression. All squinted up, like she was staring at the sun. In her shadow was a really small person. Like, smaller than Bella. They looked different, more human than I had expected. Only two things in common: they all had golden eyes, and they all _reeked._

The smell that drifted across the clearing was so much sharper than any of the trails I had found. It literally made my eyes water. The hair on Sam’s back was still standing straight up.

“It’s nice to meet you,” the doctor said. I wondered if I was imagining the high, tinny ringing sound his voice produced. “We’re very glad you’ve accepted our offer.”

 _Only because it’s necessary,_ Sam projected, really loudly. We watched the redhead, waiting to see if she would relay the message. Nothing happened. Quil babbled on about eggs and toast.

The doctor’s smile wavered as he looked at Edythe expectantly.

“There’s too much going on,” she said after a long moment, looking between me and Sam. “I can’t tell what they want me to hear.”

 _Is this an advantage?_ I thought uncertainly.

_I’m going to phase._

The vampires watched Sam turn and walk toward the trees with blank faces. The blonde chick crossed her arms like she was bored. Only the older woman, next to the doctor, smiled at me. I didn’t _see_ any fangs.

Sam walked back on two legs, stopping at my side.

“I said we wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t necessary.”

It sounded like his teeth were gritted. I wanted to look back at him, but it would be too obvious with my giant head, and I was on edge. I didn’t want any of them out of my line of sight.

“Of course,” Dr. Cullen said, breaking into another blinding smile. “Though I believe some introductions are in order. I’m Carlisle, and this is my wife, Esme,” the woman nodded, and the doctor went around, giving names. Edythe continued to watch me with the squinty expression.

 _Who cares about their names?_ Jared thought impatiently, somewhere along the North perimeter.

“I’m Samuel Uley,” Sam said. “This is Jacob Black.”

_Wantwanttogodontneedtoworryturnbackturnbackpotatochips –_

_Potato chips sound good, bud,_ Embry thought to him. Edythe’s eyebrows drew together. I wondered if she was still trying to read my mind.

“Yes,” she answered. The vamps looked at her. “I can hear your thoughts, as well as the pack mind.”

It took me a second to realize she had answered my thought, and a low growl escaped me. _She can hear the pack mind, guys._

What _?_ Jared thought angrily. _What kind of range is that?_

 _Hearhear_ What’s going on? _vampirehearbloodPaulsbloodIdidit –_

“It’s very hard to understand right now,” she said, frowning. “Is someone hurt?”

“We had a kid turn for the first time this morning,” Sam answered smoothly, with barely suppressed disdain. “A side effect of your kind on our lands.”

 _Get out of my head,_ I thought as loudly as possible. The corner of her mouth drew up in a quick smirk.

“That is unfortunate. Please,” Carlisle spread his hands. “Tell us what we can do to help.”

Sam took a shaky breath. “We’d like to change some points in the treaty. Temporarily.”

I took a step back, watching Sam out of the corner of my eye. His hands were clenched at his sides, and he was shaking violently. Embry and Jared let through matching bolts of shock at Sam’s words.

_Oh, we’re going rogue now?_

I didn’t answer, still caught off guard. The wolf pack was supposed to get approval from the council before making big decisions. I guessed it had never been a problem before, when the wolf pack _was_ the council, but now we were a bunch of kids. Meeting with the Cullens without telling them was bad enough, but I didn’t know Sam was going to do _this_. A small part of me was even kind of pissed he hadn’t told _me_ about it.

When I realized Edythe was watching me closely, I cut off that train of thought. Stupid prying vampire.

_NeedtotalkJakeEmbryeveryonecanhearcontrolthoughtbodythoughtfeet –_

“What are your terms?” Carlisle asked. His face was set in a friendly expression that I didn’t trust.

“The treaty line will withdraw to the inhabited center of the reservation, only because that’s where they tend to show up the most. You can enter our lands outside of that, but you may _not_ interact with anyone outside of the pack.”

Carlisle nodded.

“It’s also illegal for outsiders to hunt on Quileute land. That applies to you.”

“Of course.”

“That’s the _only_ change,” Sam said. “We’re trusting that you’ll do all you can to remove the threat. And I don’t want there to be any question, so I’ll just say it: we want them dead.”

“I’m not sure I understand,” Carlisle said, eyebrows drawing together in a perfect expression of concern. “We may be able to talk to them, end this peacefully.”

Before he finished his sentence, I started thinking as hard as I could about the legends, about why exactly they needed to die – why _we_ needed to be the ones to kill them. Edythe raised an eyebrow at me and related the message out loud. It didn’t have the usual pomp and circumstance, which reduced it to about five sentences. Sam shot me a look, but none of the vampires showed any surprise at the story.

“I see your reasoning,” Carlisle murmured. He looked sad, for some reason. It made me a little apprehensive – what if, when it came down to it, it was vamps versus us, and they switched sides or backed down?

Edythe shook her head at me. “That won't happen.”

 _Nah, they have to have an angle,_ Embry thought. _Why should they care about some natives getting murdered?_

_Bloodvampirerealmakesnosenseeveryonecanhear –_

_Quil, shut_ UP, I thought as loudly as possible. He fell silent, and I realized that I had once again done the Alpha thing on accident.

“They want to know what’s in it for us,” Edythe said wryly. I dug my claws into the dirt.

Carlisle spoke to me this time. “These…visitors have been noticed already. We generally send others away from Forks. When possible.”

The biggest one darted forward, appearing next to Edythe and Carlisle so quickly my hackles rose.

“Maybe we want a fight, too,” he said gruffly, flexing his arms. “Just for the fun of it.”

All the vamps got really still, like he’d said something wrong. _I_ wasn’t gonna argue. Honestly, this guy seemed like the only reasonable one here.

“He likes you,” Edythe told him. He grinned at me. That was _really_ annoying.

“If the changes are effective immediately,” Carlisle continued, casting him – Emmett – a resigned look. “We could start looking right away.”

“I’ve got one of ours on patrol right now. You can join them.”

Carlisle looked over at Edythe.

“We would get this over with much faster working alone,” she said. “My sister’s abilities don’t work with you all involved.”

 _So, what, they want us to just fuck off?_ Jared huffed, wishing he was here. _No way!_

I was more interested in how Carlisle and Edythe both seemed to speak for the group. I would have thought he was the leader.

“I don’t see any reason for that,” Sam said firmly.

The little one stepped out from Edythe’s side. I’d almost forgotten about her. Sam didn’t flinch, but I could feel the convulsions against my fur. It must be harder to be here in human form.

“It’s going to be very tricky. We have to work together by working separately,” she said in a high pitched voice that hurt my ears a little. “This should be over in a few days, honestly.”

A few days to do what Sam had been trying to do for a year now. It seemed too good to be true.

“Alice will see whenever they decide to return,” Edythe added. “So long as we’re already there.”

The other vamps nodded like that made any sense.

“How would we communicate?” Sam asked.

Edythe glanced at the little one. “We have cell phones.”

I almost laughed. Were we all going to exchange phone numbers now? It seemed too… modern. This was an ancient battle, fought with our ancient enemies. And we were going to what, DM them on Twitter?

Edythe rolled her eyes at me. “Any more questions?”

I looked around at all the yellow eyes, thinking. I wanted to know what other secret powers they had, besides Alice and Edythe.

“Just Jasper.” She turned to the skinny one with all the bites, smiling in a way that made me uneasy. “Care to demonstrate?”

He shifted almost self-consciously, speaking in a slight Southern accent.  

“I can make people amenable.”

“How so?” Sam asked warily. Jasper’s yellow eyes moved to mine.

It came on very slowly. A sense of calm, out of nowhere. Like I had nothing to worry about.

 _Come on, Jake,_ Embry moaned, _We just got Quil under control. Wait – whose ass were you just thinking about?_

I realized my control over the bond had lapsed completely. All of my thoughts out there for everyone to hear. I didn’t connect the dots at first, but when I did it was horrifying.

A growl ripped through my teeth, and the feeling dissipated as quickly as it had come. I pulled all my thoughts back into my own head, ignoring Embry’s probing.

“Sorry,” Jasper said. Sam didn’t say anything, but his eyes were wide. Had he felt it, too?

“The point is, it works.” Emmett grinned at us. “Long enough for me to rip the bad guys to shreds.”

Something about the pure enthusiasm in his voice had me believing him. I looked at Sam. He nodded.

“You can have the day,” Sam allowed. “We’ll keep up patrol at night.”

Alice pursed her lips.

“I can feel your exhaustion,” Jasper said solemnly. Me and Sam looked at him suspiciously. “That isn’t a problem for us.”

 _They’re calling us_ lazy _now?_

“He didn’t mean it like that,” Edythe said calmly, answering Embry’s question. “But it’s true. We don’t sleep, but we do have to live our lives throughout the day.”

That was bullshit. We had lives, too. School, mainly.

“If you think this will end any quicker, sure,” Sam said. I held back a huff of frustration, wishing he had just stayed phased. Edythe was smirking at me again, and I came to the conclusion that I _really_ didn’t like her.

Which reminded me.

As Sam and Carlisle went over the plan one last time, Edythe stared at Alice. By their expressions, I figured there was a whole psychic conversation going on.

 _You should stay away from her_ , I thought, outside of the bond but towards Edythe. Too weird. _If anything happens, I_ will _kill you._

For a second, I thought she maybe didn’t hear. Then her eyes shifted to mine. It was a one way street, of course, so I couldn’t tell what she was thinking. The smirk had faded, at least. Not a challenge, but also not the smugness from before.

“Thank you,” Carlisle was saying. “We will keep you updated.”

Sam put a hand to my side and I backed toward the trees. I wasn’t expecting any one of them to hurt us, even after my threat, but the smell and proximity had activated something instinctual in me.

 _Jared, leave patrol,_ Sam thought as he phased. His ears quirked toward the faint sounds of seven pairs of feet retreating. _How’s Quil doing?_

 _I’m okay,_ Quil thought. _I have to pee, but I don’t know how to do that in this body._

 _It’s pretty much the same,_ I said. But I was proud - he was picking things up much quicker than I had. He might even phase back before sundown. 

_Meet up at Emily’s,_ Sam said. _You, too, Quil._

We went over the meeting in detail. Everyone was pretty freaked about what the skinny one – Jasper – had done, once we explained it. Sam had been hit, too.

 _It didn’t effect us, though,_ Jared thought. _Everything was on your end_.

And that was the thing. Anything that could disrupt the pack mind like that was serious business. None of us said it, but it was obvious who would have to go down first if things went bad.

 _I can’t believe they get to have superpowers,_ Embry thought.  _All I got was a huge dick. Aye-oh!_

 _But only some of them,_ I said, though I wouldn’t put it past them to hide it. Blondie had looked pretty withholding. _Makes you wonder what the_ other  _ones can do._

The bond went quiet as everyone contemplated that. It would be a pretty shitty twist of fate if we finally tracked down our enemies and they had laser vision or something.

Sam stopped me behind Emily’s house.

“Do you think I made a mistake?” he asked. “Changing the treaty?”

“Not at all,” I answered, trying not to sound too pouty. “Why are you asking me?”

He snorted. “Who else?”

I wasn’t sure what that meant. Sam clapped me on the shoulder and walked away.

 

*******************************

 

After a long and boring lecture about not telling the council a thing, Sam went to his bedroom and shut the door. Embry was outside somewhere trying to teach Quil how to phase back, so Jared and I schlepped back to patrol until sunset.

As the sun reached the horizon, I nearly sent out the Call at a rapid set of footsteps approaching me.

 _They’re early,_ Jared grumbled, sending through the image of the blonde chick glowering at him with her arms crossed. I relaxed slightly, looking into the fading light between the trees.

“It’s Emmett!” A voice called, and then a large dark shape whipped past me, bringing with it the stinging smell of vampire.

“Race you!” He called, already at a distance. My body reacted before my mind did, and before I knew it I was tearing after him. No way was I gonna get shown up by a Cullen on the first night.

The scent was extremely easy to follow, not as faint as the ones left behind by the others. I really pushed myself, going faster than I ever had. As we’d heard in the clearing earlier, they were quick, but I hadn’t expected just how fast. It took everything in me to catch up to Emmett, at first just catching his heels, and then overtaking him, knocking down a few small trees with the effort.

He stopped when I got a lead, turning his head up and laughing at the sky.

“Whoo!” He cried, pumping his fist. “I didn’t know you guys were so fast!”

Likewise, I thought, watching him warily. Out of the sunlight, his skin didn’t look so freaky, and the eyes were less bright and unnatural. He crossed his arms and looked right back at me.

“Are you all that fast, or is it just ‘cause you’re the Alpha?”

My ears pricked up in response. Then, going against all my instincts, I phased. Emmett didn’t look one bit uncomfortable as I pulled on my shorts.

“I’m not the Alpha.”

Emmett made a face. “Then who is?”

“Sam.”

“What, that other guy?” He waved a hand dismissively. “Nah. He couldn’t keep it together. Looked like he was gonna have a seizure.”

I realized he was right, looking down at myself. The smell did still prick at my nose unpleasantly, but only the tips of my fingers were shaking. Then again, there was only one vampire here.

“Edythe said it was you.”

I looked up defensively, but couldn’t find any sign that he was winding me up. He just looked curious.

“Edythe needs to mind her own business.”

“She’s not so bad,” he chuckled. “Here’s a tip: she can’t really control what she hears, so just think about something you know she won’t like. I usually think about Rose.”

He laughed again, to himself, and then looked at me seriously. “Don’t think about Rose.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” I mumbled, turning my head toward a second set of footsteps. Blondie appeared next to Emmett, hand on one hip.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” she said to me. Her voice wasn’t as high pitched as the other one, but it was ten times as irritating.

“ _You’re_ only here because we _let_ you be here,” I growled. She rolled her eyes. Emmett just grinned at me freakishly.

“Whatever. I’m going.”

“Bye, Jake!” Emmett called after me.

Running as fast as I could from that surreal as fuck experience got me back to Emily’s just as night fell. I couldn’t decide if Emmett was likeable or just weird. But he said Edythe knew…maybe Sam had been thinking about that stuff.

Quil jumped up from the table when I walked through the door, and I stumbled back as he threw himself around me. I patted him on the back, eyes locking on the couch. Paul was propped up on some pillows, scooping soup out of a bowl with a big piece of bread. His head was still wrapped.

“Guess it wasn’t heroin, huh?” Quil said, pulling back with a huge smile. I smiled back, remembering when he had been shorter than me only a few short weeks ago. He looked like himself again, compared to the bleak sadness of the past week.

“Quil, I…”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “I’m not mad anymore.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Well, not  _that_ mad. Am I always gonna be this hungry?”

“You don’t even _know_ hungry,” I said, taking a bowl from Emily and ladling some soup into it. “Thanks.”

“It’s been a long day. For all of us,” she said quietly. Without thinking, my eyes shot to Paul. He was talking to Embry, sat next to him on the carpet. He looked up at me, only for a second, but it was enough to fill me with relief, fear, and something a lot scarier.

“He’s gonna be fine,” Emily said quietly, setting a large piece of bread on the side of the bowl. “I don’t think it’ll scar.”

"Good for him,” I said, forcing a smile and moving to the table. I wondered why she felt the need to comfort me. Was I that obvious?

“Tell him all the stories yet?”

Sam nodded, tipping back a beer. “For the last time, I hope.”

“Vampires,” Quil said, shaking his head. “The third wife, the wolf-men. I _never_ paid attention to those. What about the Thunderbird? The basket-woman?”

“If I see a Thunderbird, you’ll be the first to know.”

He ripped off a chunk of bread, staring thoughtfully into his soup.

“So, what set you off?” I asked, lowering my voice. Quil winced guiltily.

“I have no idea,” he said. “I mean, I saw Paul walking past my house, and I went outside…just to talk, but…”

“You got mad,” Sam finished for him.

Quil shrugged, shoving more food in his mouth. “Sorry again, bro!”

“Fuck  _off,_ Quil,” Paul yelled back, without looking.

Sam sat back and blew out a breath. “This is weird.”

I put down a few scalding spoonfuls. “What is?”

He smacked my hand away when I made a grab for his beer. “A night off. Feels wrong.”

“I think I’m going to send the Cullens a thank you card,” Emily said, perching on Sam’s lap. He smiled when she kissed him on the cheek, but it didn’t reach his eyes. An unpleasant jolt of guilt made me look away.

After two more bowls of soup and a thousand questions from Quil, I was beat. I rested my head against the table for what I thought was a quick second, jolting back awake when something very soft hit me very hard on the head.

“Gah!”

A lot of time must have passed. It was full dark out. All the lights had been turned off, and everyone was gone. I looked down at the pillow that had assaulted me, then up at Paul, lit by the glow of the muted television.

“Jesus, you’re hard to wake up,” he grunted, clutching at his side. “I need you to bring me a phone charger.”

I yawned and rubbed my eyes. “Someone’s cranky.”

“Don’t be a dick. It’s over there by the TV.”

I got up reluctantly, shaking out a crick in my neck. “What time is it?”

“One.”

I felt around behind the TV, pulling the charger out of the wall. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“It itches,” he said, turning his head to watch me lean behind the couch to plug it in. “And after everyone left, Sam and Emily went at it for like an hour.”

 “Is that why you muted the TV?” I asked, grinning. He snatched the cord from me and plugged his phone in. “Any word from the Cullens?”

“How the fuck should I know?”

I bit the inside of my cheek. He was in pain, I reminded myself, and I shouldn’t start a fight. “How do you feel?”

“I just told you,” he said, looking at something on his phone. Then he sighed. “Better, I guess. Fine.”

“You think you healed that quickly?” I sat on the rug, looking at the bandages doubtfully. I didn't think I'd ever forget the sound of his screaming.

“Let’s see.” He sat up with a grunt and started pulling at the bandages.

“I don’t think you should – “

“Could you help me?” He asked, meeting my eyes.

Ignoring my suddenly dry mouth, I pulled the gauze out from behind his back and helped him unwrap. Every now and then my fingers would graze his skin and it got harder and harder to breathe. The hard planes of his stomach and chest heaved under his labored breathing, angry red lines snaking down the left side. The skin had knitted together, but it definitely wasn’t healed.        

I balled the pinkish gauze in my hands to give them something to do. Paul pulled the wrappings from his head without ceremony, hair matted with blood and splotches of red stains across his face. The line that ran down his face looked much more severe.

“Does it hurt?”

He laid back down, face twisting in a way that told me it did. “All the important parts seem fine. I still have both eyes.”

“Wouldn’t be so bad. I happen to know where you can get a good seeing eye dog.”

He almost smiled, then winced as he felt along his face. “Am I hideous?”

I swallowed. Of course he wasn’t.

“No worse than before.”

“Thanks,” he snorted.

I got up to toss the gauze in the trash and wash my hands. “Is your dad gonna freak?”

“It’ll be healed before I see him again.”

“Why do you say that?” I wiped my hands on my shorts and kicked the pillow over to the rug. Paul was looking at his phone again, and I resisted the urge to grab it and throw it across the room. He never used to do that.

“My dad has a new girlfriend.”

I laid back on the pillow. “Oh.”

“Some white lady from town. He’s got her over at the house, so I decided to clear out for a while.”

“You don’t like her?”

He shifted, making the couch creak. “The less she sees me, the less she’ll ask why an eighteen year old kid looks like he’s twenty-seven and stays out all night. And now I’m all messed up…”

It was too quiet. I didn’t know what to do – I was always saying the wrong things these days. I forgot how good it felt to talk to him, and I didn’t want it to end.

“Bet my story’s worse.”

“What?”

I really shouldn’t have been talking about it, but there was no one else to tell. And Paul was listening, for once.

“The bloodline stuff.”

“What about it?”

It was all common knowledge, to the council members and their families at least. Embry wasn’t part of the seven sacred bloodlines of legend. When he wolfed out, the fact that Em didn’t know who his dad was became more than just a sad backstory. Doing the math, it meant his father was Old Quil, Joshua Uley, or Billy Black. All of whom were married at the time. Any way you spun it, it was awkward.

“So,” I rolled to my side to see him better. “When all that stuff came out, I was sure it wasn’t my dad. He…he loved my mom.”

I stopped and forced myself to breathe. It was still hard to talk about, and I didn’t want to work myself up all over again. Paul waited quietly, unusually patient.

“I saw it while we were out a few days ago, before school. We’d just got done with patrol, and when he phased back I saw a mark on the back of his thigh. Like, a birthmark.”

“Lots of people have birthmarks,” Paul said, shutting his eyes. Something in his voice was angry. I made another note on the ‘What Pisses Paul off’ list – birthmarks.

“The same one as me. _Exactly_ the same.”

Paul made a noncommittal noise.

“I brought it up to Billy. That’s what we were yelling about when Bella came and you…well, you know. He freaked. I figured that was answer enough.”

Paul’s eyes opened, and he stared straight up. “Does it really matter? We’re all brothers now, anyway.”

“Does it _matter_? If my dad ran around on my mom? With _Embry’s_ mom?”

He didn’t say anything. I sighed and rolled onto my back. Brothers. Yeah, right.

“Did you tell Embry?”

“No.”

“Maybe you should,” he said quietly. “He might like to know.”

It was an asshole move to keep it to myself. I didn’t need Paul to tell me that. But it was a huge can of worms I wasn’t ready to deal with. Not with so much going on. I didn’t want to ruin another friendship.

I looked back over, watching Paul pull a blanket higher over his exposed chest.

“Are you cold?” I asked, worry creeping in. I didn’t sleep with blankets anymore. It just wasn’t necessary.

“It’s nothing.”

I didn’t believe him. If he was cold…well, I could have helped. It would be such a simple thing, him moving down here to lay next to me. They guys would give us shit for it, but no one would really care. Paul almost died today. The question bubbled up in my throat and stuck there.

 _You’re pathetic,_ I thought to myself, and shut my eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jacob is BEST BOY. I WONT say it again. And would anyone be interested in the playlist I made while writing this? Music, in true Twilight fashion, has been a huge influence on this story. Comment with your favorite twilight song - its more telling than zodiac signs tbh.


	10. Live Wire

“They’re a little clumsy, sure, but once they get going… _man_ ,” Emmett said emphatically. _Like a freakin’ bulldozer._

“At least one of us is having fun,” Rosalie muttered, picking apart a sandwich. The lunchroom was quieter than usual. Everyone wanted to be outside in the fresh layer of snow. Everyone except Bella, that is. I didn’t need to be in her mind to know that.

 _My fingers are going to smell like ham all day,_ Rosalie thought idly, dropping it to the table. Her eyes moved to a point over my shoulder, mind begrudging. _Why don’t they both just sit over_ here _?_

I turned to look at Alice, sitting with Bella and her friends.

“I’m so worried about the final paper,” Jessica Stanley droned. “Have you started yet, Alice?” _Ugh, I have to find out what she puts on her skin. She's so pretty. And wayyyy nicer than the other ones._

She thought of me and Rosalie as equally rude and condescending, which was just offensive in its inaccuracy.  

Alice laughed. “I haven’t even read the book yet.”

“It’s due next week!”

“I’m sure I’ll think of something.”

At Jessica and Mike’s incredulous expressions, Bella pressed her lips together and met my eyes across the room. She seemed surprised to see me looking, but offered a small smile. I turned around, unsettled.

We hadn't spoken since her breakdown on Friday.

“How long have you known?” She’d asked, refusing to get out of the car at my house. Her hair was wild, cheeks flushed with emotion. I hesitated, still caught up in the feeling of her skin on my fingers. Things had gone from wonderfully simple to complicated in the worst way possible.

“I couldn’t have told you,” I'd said as honestly as possible. The wall that had gone up in her eyes felt like a slap to the face. “It’s part of the treaty.”

Worst of all, I seemed to be the only person she was upset with. The rest of my family was delighted to see her again. Jasper felt her nervousness, but she played it off gracefully. We’d explained to her about the nomads killing the hikers, and our history with the pack. She didn’t meet my eyes once.

And now she was smiling at me. I wasn’t sure which made me feel stranger.

“It’s not supposed to be fun,” Jasper said to Rosalie, across the table. He cut his eyes at me. _Except for when she found that bug in her hair._

I bit my tongue.

“Tell that to him,” Rosalie shot Emmett a look. “He hasn’t so much as looked at me in days. It’s all _Embry_ this and _Paul_ that.”

“There’s nothing wrong with a healthy appreciation,” Emmett scolded, sliding his hand up her knee under the table. She rolled her eyes, but her mind was slightly mollified. “You ready for tonight, Eddie?”

I sighed. “I guess. Alice should have seen something by now, though. It’s odd.”

 _Doing my best over here!_ Alice thought from across the room, not turning around.

“She saw them coming back,” Emmett put in. Jasper nodded.

“But not when or where. It’s useless when we have this agreement with the pack.”

“There’s no way around it,” I remanded him. 

 _Yeah, I think I have an idea about that,_  Alice thought deviously. _Now, shh! I’m socializing._

She focused on talking to Angela Weber. I looked into Angela's mind briefly, seeing a warm regard for Alice, and a curiosity at my constant staring. I resolved to not turn around again.

“Alice said stop talking strategy without her.”

“Then what _shall_ we talk about?” Rosalie fixed me with a grin. “Trouble in paradise, Edythe?”

I felt my jaw spasm as I clenched it. “Paradise?”

“I don’t know what else to call what happened at the benefit,” she said innocently. “Kismet, maybe?”

“I call it upchuck,” Emmett said, wrinkling his nose.

“I meant the _flirting_ ,” Rosalie recovered, flicking a piece of meat at him.

“She was drunk," I reasoned out loud. "And acting out.”

“What’s the difference?” Emmett asked, grinning at Rose. She grinned back, and I did my best to tune out whatever was going through their heads, focusing instead on Bella’s heartbeat. I’d gotten to the point of being able to discern hers from any crowd. It was strong, as usual. Nearly melodic. When it sped up a considerable amount, I glanced over my shoulder without thought, embarrassingly curious to see what had her so excited.

Our eyes met again. This time, I couldn’t look away. The light gray irises turned dark against the fluorescent lights, holding mine with such a ferocious intensity that my limbs went numb with desire. The bell rang, and I avoided Jasper’s eyes as I rushed into the snow.

 _I would give_ anything, I thought to myself, _to know what she was thinking_. There was nobody behind the gym, so I fled there to lean against the brick wall and breathe. Shocked, I looked down at my hands, thinking they might be shaking. I’d never felt like this as a vampire – like my body was acting on its own. There was the thirst, always, but this was different. This was in my head, my fingertips, somewhere in the center of my chest.

I pushed my hair back, thinking about skipping. Her scent always affected me, but I didn’t want to take any chances with…this. Everything was loose and tight at the same time.

I turned my head up, letting the temperature-less flakes of snow fall against my face. Dark hair, curling under my fingers. A warm body, solid and soft and smelling of champagne. A navy blue sleeve slipping over a brown shoulder.

I’d tried not to think about Bella like this, and had been doing a pretty good job until now. Well, a decent job. It was almost impossible, after that night, to ignore the more… _imaginative_ parts of my brain. Thank _God_ Alice wasn’t the mind reader. She’d have a field day.

When I thought I could pull it together enough to seem normal, I pushed off the wall and stalked to class. Mike was with her, leering over our lab table in all his sycophantic glory.

“You should’ve come out with us this weekend. It was a good movie.”

“That’s okay, I – “ She caught sight of me lingering in the doorway and faltered, clearing her throat. “I hung out with my dad.”

“That sounds boring. I’m sorry.” _She could have sat next to me. Jessica talks too much, anyway._

I tore my eyes away from the curve of her chest as she fixed him with a gratifyingly sharp look. “It wasn’t, actually.”

I sat down, and, to make myself feel less unbalanced and terrified, smiled at Mike. His face went slack with surprise, mind instantly lighting up with long-forgotten thoughts about me. When he realized he could no longer speak coherently, he cleared his throat.

“I’ll talk to you later, Bella.”

I gave her the same smile when she turned around suspiciously. It was easy and natural, smiling at her, and had a much stronger effect; her heart rate sped up and she took a deep breath that was warm and humid on my face.

Her hands twisted nervously around a notebook. “H-How was your weekend?”

I inhaled for the first time, letting her scent set me aflame all over again. It was different now, I noted, letting my eyes drift down over her full lips. Headier, sweeter, fuller. Was the difference all in my head? It didn’t seem possible.

“It was frustrating,” I allowed, glancing back at Mike. He saw me looking and dropped his eyes to his textbook guiltily. I should have done that sooner – he hadn’t thought about Bella in almost ten seconds. “We didn’t find anything.”

I knew Alice had been texting her all weekend about it, purposefully and conspicuously when we were on patrol together.

Bella nodded and chewed on her lower lip, derailing just about every thought in my head. I really feared the day she realized her power over me, because _wow_ , she was doing a whole lot on accident.

“You met Jacob! What did you think?”

“Like I said. Frustrating.” I busied myself getting my book from my backpack. “I don’t think he likes me very much.”

“Did he say that?” Her brow wrinkled with worry. It didn’t bode well for me that Jacob’s opinion was so important to her. I’d _tried_ to be nice, but he was too ready to hate me. He was also annoyingly proprietary of Bella. 

“He thought it.”

She rested her cheek on her hand, smiling. “I feel safe saying that you can both be a little frustrating.”

Being compared to Rosalie _and_ Jacob Black all in one day. I thought maybe I should look into some serious self-reform. “You talk to Alice too much.”

“You know you’re welcome to sit with us at lunch,” she said in a low voice, leaning forward. I held my breath. “I think the shock wore off with Alice, but _you_ would really freak them out.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” I said, earning another smile. “And I’d rather it were you, if one of us is moving. Emmett really likes you, _and_ it would upset Rosalie,” I added, knowing she was listening in from her English class.

Bella shuddered. “Too intimidating.”

“You’d be safe with me,” I murmured, heedless of my audience. Intentionally or not, all of my family was able to hear. Mike could only watch, but he was concerned. I looked at his perception of us with surprise – we leaned in close, faces inches apart. It was just on the edge of indecent, and he still had it all wrong. Idiot.

“Mike thinks we’re talking about him,” I said, half-hoping to break the spell.

“Who’s Mike?” She whispered, eyes dilating. I almost groaned, because that had to be the most erotic thing anyone had ever said to me.

Banner dimmed the lights, booting up the VHS player yet again. I broke away from Bella’s eyes, forcing my body toward the front of the classroom. Feeling utterly ridiculous, I actually checked my forehead for sweat. There was nothing. Obviously.

Something would have to give. I had to tell her how I felt, damn the consequences. I would die of this strange heat before the school year was over, and after that…

I sighed, putting a hand over my face and hearing Bella turn to look at me. After the school year, she would leave. Alice had seen the smallest glimpses of where, but she was definitely leaving. One possible future was Florida, on a sunny campus. I would lose her, then. I wondered often if it was even worth it.

“Are you okay?” Bella whispered, minty breath warming my ear. Something extremely close to a shiver drove itself violently up my back. I moved my chair away from her, getting an alarmed look.

“Fine,” I whispered back, voice breaking. She turned forward, and I put a hand to my throat, shocked. _That_ wasn’t supposed to happen. I was sure it never had before. Time seemed to drag, and I spent the remainder of the class focusing on the video and carefully cataloguing every inch of my body. Could vampires develop movement disorders? Had my cerebellum been damaged? I’d always thought the only thing my body would betray me for was blood.

I still wanted blood, that was a given, but it was an urge I’d long learned to control. Until Bella. A lot of other wants were making themselves known now. Simple ones, like wanting to put Newton through a wall. And much more complicated ones, like getting Bella somewhere dark and quiet, and… And that was where I drew a blank. After a century of sleep, my body was awake and _demanding_ , and I had no clue what to do with it.

One thing I definitely didn’t want was to go on patrol, but it was necessary. Whatever I chose to do about Bella, we had to eliminate the threat. I would just wait until it was over.

 

***********************************

 

I rushed out of gym, newly humiliated and sporting the dark red imprint of a dodgeball on my cheek, to try and catch a glimpse of Edythe. She ran out of class right at the bell after a quiet goodbye. It threw me off, because I wouldn’t get to talk to her until the next day. I walked to my car disappointed.

After seeing me drunk one day and cataclysmic the next, I wasn’t sure she still had any sort of respect for me. I’d been a gaping, stuttering idiot when I saw the kind of house they lived in, if you could even call it a house. ‘Mansion’ or ‘estate’ would have been more appropriate.

Alice had dragged me upstairs to her cavernous bedroom, sitting me on the bed and talking. A lot. Without Jasper standing in the doorway forcing calm on me, I probably would have lost it. She told me about the wolves, the treaty, and the wild, carnivorous vampires that they suspected had killed all the hikers. Edythe stood in the corner, quiet.

I asked, incredulous, why they thought the wolves would need their help. I was sure that the razor sharp claws that had been so close to my face would destroy anything in their path. Alice and Jasper had smirked at each other, pointing me to the window, where I watched Emmett rip a pine tree out of the ground with his bare hands. He pulverized it with a single punch, waving up at me with a huge smile.

It was significantly more impressive than stopping a sliding van. And as Alice laughed at my expression, I started to worry about the _wolves_.

Despite the context in which I was there, everyone was unflinchingly polite. Dr. Cullen and Esme, just as intimidatingly perfect as ever, seemed the most worried about Jacob and the others. They thought that it was strange the pack hadn’t found the nomads already, and wanted to help. Rosalie had said hi to me, and nothing else. And Edythe…Edythe was herself, I guessed.

In short, it was a very strange yet oddly boring weekend. After my minimal involvement in orchestrating their meeting, everyone had become very busy. I worried over them, especially at night, when it was beyond freezing. I knew that vampires didn’t feel cold, but Alice was so _tiny_.

At the very least, there was an excess of confidence on both sides. The Cullens were sure they could track the nomads down, and Jacob didn’t think there would be any problems with killing them once they did.

But I wouldn’t be hanging out with Edythe and Alice outside of school any time soon. They started on patrol at sundown, which, during a winter in Forks, was usually before five p.m.. And Jacob had visited me over the weekend, scaring the utter shit out of me by coming in through my window. He said that Sam was too antsy about dropping patrol, and now had the pack running a small area directly around town.

“You gonna go running to the vamps to tell them?” He’d asked flatly. Indignant, I’d said no, but after he left it started to feel like a secret. I didn’t want to keep any secrets – it felt like choosing sides. Exactly what Jacob wanted me to do, for some reason.

With him being busy day _and_ night, I was left with Angela and, in my loneliest moments, Jessica. They were both fun to be around. It was just, and I felt horrible even thinking it, a little _boring._

After the dodgeball disaster, I wanted to get home and shower before heading to Angela’s for homework and movies. I beat Charlie there, taking some time to examine the crosshatch pattern still branded on my cheek. At least the look on Mike’s face when he’d nailed me with it was funny.

I scrubbed myself down, cursing whoever decided that high school seniors needed an entire hour dedicated to exercise and humiliation. Following my usual post-shower routine, I wrapped a towel around myself and ran through the freezing hallway to my room.

“Hi!”

I let out a short scream, nearly dropping my towel.

“It’s just me,” Alice said simply from my bed. I ran to shut the open window before all the heat got sucked out. I would have to get locks. Big ones.

My breathing gradually slowed. “You knew that would happen.”

“What, I can _see_ the future, but I’m not allowed to _enjoy_ it?”

I jerked my clean clothes out from under her legs. “Your feet are disgusting.”

She stuck a leg up in the air and wiggled her toes. “Shoes wear out when I run a lot. My feet don’t.”

“Ah,” I offered absently, pulling on sweatpants.

“You were happier to see me when I didn’t scare you,” she said, rolling to face me. “But I know it’s in there somewhere.”

“Maybe.” I raised my hairbrush to rake through my tangles, jumping when she appeared behind me in the mirror.

“Bella,” she said despairingly, stopping my hand with a delicate, icy grip. “You shouldn’t brush wet hair. It breaks it.”

“I have to get to Angela’s.”

Her face worked, and I imagined she was caught between the importance of hair health and horror at me going out looking like I did. “Fine. But let me do it.”

I handed it over. She started brushing from the bottom, in short, gentle strokes. It felt nice.

“Vampire hair is stronger, so trying to brush it too fast will just break the brush. It still tangles, though, and as you can imagine, not too many of us have patience when it comes to this stuff. Edythe is the worst.”

She gave me a knowing look then, probably because of the jump in my heartbeat only a vampire could hear.

“And Jasper has those _beautiful_ curls, but he never lets me do _anything_ with them. I’m not allowed to straighten it, slick it back – God for _bid_ he grow it out. The nineties were a nightmare.”

I was in awe at the thought – they had all really lived through all of it. The Great Depression, World War Two, man landing on the moon…and Alice was talking about hair. It was oddly hilarious.

“Why are you telling me this?”

She put her chin on my shoulder, smiling at me in the mirror. “It’s fun. I’ve never had a human friend before.”

I smiled back, but it was sort of sad. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with her? She was kind, and thoughtful, and all the meddling wasn’t even that bad because it meant she cared. But I also knew that Alice had a reason for everything. I decided to let her get there on her own time.

“How old is Jasper?”

“Nineteen.”

“ _Nineteen_ ,” I mocked in a falsetto. She stuck her tongue out.

“He was born in 1844.”

I nodded like that wasn’t the most incredible thing ever. He was even older than Edythe.

“How did he…”

“Die?” She finished shrewdly. I nodded. She turned her eyes to my hair, face somber. “He was deserting.”

“Deserting?”

“The Confederate Army.” I could tell my shock was amusing to her. “He was fleeing to Mexico.”

I fiddled with the small ceramic pot that held a cactus. It had been here since I moved in, a gift from Charlie to remind me of Phoenix. “Was it…did Carlisle – ?”

“No,” she said, mouth tight. Something in her tone had changed abruptly. “It was a woman.”

 I fell silent, very curious but sensing that this was one thing Alice really wouldn’t talk about. It gave me a pretty good idea of what had happened.

She brushed my hair with a clinical eye. I must have derailed her from her purpose, because she usually got to the point much quicker than this.

“Another question.”

“Shoot,” she said apprehensively.

“Your skin is always cold, and so is Edythe’s. When I was in the hospital, Carlisle was checking me for a concussion or whatever, and he felt normal. Why is that?”

“Oh,” she sounded relieved. “That’s easy. We’re just the same temperature as the air around us. Our bodies don’t produce heat, so if it’s cold out we’ll stay cold. Carlisle keeps hand warmers in his pockets.”

I laughed. “I don’t believe you.”

“Believe it!” She giggled. “Maybe I should get some for Edythe.”

“Alice!”

She rolled her eyes. “It was a joke. I can’t even focus on matchmaking right now, when the future is so blurry.”

“That’s good,” I said, face heating up. “When I beat you to death with a hairbrush, it’ll be a big surprise.”

Her smile turned calculating.

“There’s only so much I can do, you know?” I knew right away that this was what she’d been working up to. “If the wolves are out at all, I see nothing. When they’re not, it’s still just… fractals in a big picture. The problem, if you ask me, is that if I _do_ see something, we’ll have to tell them. So the future just stays all…funky.”

I wasn’t sure if their secret patrol was the cause. I hoped not. I tilted my head back so she could brush out the roots of my hair. “What are you gonna do?”

She sighed. “For the foreseeable – or not so foreseeable, actually – future, I’ll have two people at the border, and two close to the reservation. If the nomads were to come anywhere near any of them, I’ll see it.”

She sounded very sure. I thought over it, one inconsistency standing out. “What’s the difference? How can you see that future, but not the other?”

“Hm?” She set the brush down and smoothed my hair down my back, clucking her tongue in appreciation. “It’s so long when you straighten it out like this. But your ends are a _mess_. I’ll get you some product. When’s your birthday?”

“September,” I said dryly, disappointing her. I hadn’t known Alice for very long, but there were some things you picked up on. When she wanted to deflect, she asked rapid fire questions. “You’re not going to tell them.”

The fingers on my hair stilled, and she looked at me in surprise. “What?”

“You’re not planning to tell them what you see. Because…that’s the only way you can see it.”

She stared for a moment, eyebrows twitching, and then stomped her foot. “ _Damn_ it.”

The curse sounded funny, coming from such a small person. “Did I guess right?”

“ _Yes_.” She paced away, arms crossed. “I didn’t expect you to.”

“Why not?!” I glanced at the time, grabbing a pair of socks.

“Because if _you_ can figure it out, then Sam Uley definitely will.”

“Thanks,” I said, frowning.

“I don’t want to lie to them, trust me I don’t. I was hoping to be honest about our plan, but now I don’t think I can be. They don’t seem to trust us very much.”

“Lying won’t help that,” I mumbled, feeling like a hypocrite.

She moved back to my dresser, picking at my sparse belongings. “No use worrying about it. Results are results. You use generic lotion?”

I stared at my feet, thinking of how ready Jacob and the others had been to start a fight. It was all about trust. Anything that subverted that would make it more likely that someone got hurt. One secret, I could handle. Two, and everything would be my fault. I should have told her. It would be the right thing, but then I would be betraying Jacob's trust. 

“You have to tell them, Alice.”

“You’re confusing _have to_ with _should_.”

I was stuck in indecision. “Well, if they ask me, I won’t lie.”

“Seriously, this’ll be over before you know it.”

“Alice…” She turned to me, pouting. It was kind of hard to say no to her, as Edythe had warned me. “Fine. But please be careful.”

She brightened and handed me a large black scrunchie from her pocket. “It’ll match your shoes. Anything you want me to relate to Edythe?”

I tied my hair back. “Nope.”

 

**********************************

           

Hunting was rarely a family event, but it did get lonely. We often paired up, especially to go long distances for bigger game. At times like that, I preferred being with Emmett. He was less annoying than Rosalie or Alice, and much more competitive than Carlisle and Esme. Going with Jasper was hard for both of us. I had to listen to his inherent dissatisfaction with animal blood, and he hated himself for putting that on me. Emmett was a nice middle ground.

It was patrolling, not hunting, but he still declared anything big and fast to be fair game. It wasn’t until I lost an elk that he clued in to my distraction.

“Man, I can’t even enjoy this,” Emmett complained, letting go of the animal’s torso. It scampered off, and I watched it go joylessly. “What’s wrong?”

I resumed patrol, going just slow enough for him to keep pace. It would probably be better to get it off my chest now, when we were truly alone. I wouldn’t dare ask Rosalie, or Alice. Emmett was the safest bet, however difficult he would make it.

“You and Rose. How – how is it?”

“Pretty good right now,” he said into the wind, jumping over a fallen tree trunk. “She was kind of in a mood for a while, but I think she’s over it.” _Weird question._

Snow blasted past me, wind whistling in my ears as I ran, but I could hear him just fine. And he’d missed my meaning entirely.

“I meant...” I had to force the words out, cringing as I did. “I meant physically.”

Emmett’s mind fell quiet in surprise, but he didn’t laugh. _Physically_?

I knew it was a mistake, but I pressed on. “I’ve never – _you know_ – and I just want to understand what it’s…”

_What it’s like?_

“Yes.”

He did laugh, then, but only a little. _You want the sex talk? Oh man, do I have so much to teach you._

“Shut up and listen,” I snapped. “I never knew – it’s almost like…it’s like I’m short circuiting.”

“Let me stop you right there,” he called over. _Is this you trying to describe what being_ horny _is like?_

When I didn’t answer, he ran over and stopped in front of me. His eyes were almost completely black with pupil in the darkness, and full of mirth.

“So you’ve never done _anything_?”

“When would I have?” He had known me for sixty years, for God’s sake. “It’s not like it was a priority in my human life.”

“I know you _left_ for a while, before I got here,” he said uncertainly. “Me and Rose go away sometimes, I never thought about it.”

“I didn’t leave on a sex spree,” I muttered, not wanting to revisit the dark days. He chuckled.

“I just thought you would know more than anyone.” _Mind reader and all._

“Believe it or not, the rest of our family thinks about sex much less than you do.”

He grinned. “But they still think about it. And what about all the kids at school?”

“I don’t listen! And stop thinking I’m a prude. Post-Victorian Chicago was a lot different than _Tennessee_.” I shifted my weight uncomfortably. “Regardless, hearing it and experiencing it are two different things.”

He nodded thoughtfully, thoughts turning to Rosalie. “Okay, well, don’t bring this up to Rose, but I did okay as a human. It just…doesn’t compare. To how it was after. To being with her.”

He got a stupid look on his face, one I was unfortunately very familiar with. It was why I’d asked him in the first place. From his mind, I got the image of Rosalie on her back, stark naked as his eyeline moved down between her thighs. I struggled through the uneasiness to try and take it for what it was. Emmet’s version of advice.

“Seems like a lot of work for a pretty face,” I couldn’t help saying. It was pure reflex to insult her, even though I couldn’t deny her…objective appeal. I’d always thought of it as her gift – physical perfection to make up for an intensely repellant personality.

 _Watch it,_ he thought, pushing my shoulder. “She loves you.”

“She loves herself,” I huffed. “… And you.”

“You’re damn right,” he grinned. “But seriously. I could think about it all day – you know I could. But I don’t think that’s gonna be your problem.” _She’s not a human._

I frowned at his exceptional delicacy. Maybe that was exactly it. Maybe, if she was like _me_ , it would all be second nature. But she wasn’t, and there were a lot of aspects about that that I had yet to consider.

I looked at the snow pooling around our feet. “Have you ever thought about how fragile they all are? How many bad things could happen?”

He quirked an eyebrow. _Any one human in particular?_

“Think about it, Em. What if Rose was a human? She could run into a bear, or get in car crash. And when was the last time you watched the news? Burglaries, homicides…” Worse things. Things that had very nearly happened to Bella already had Alice not intervened. I was so abruptly infuriated at the idea of another human hurting her that I couldn’t speak.

“You sound like a crazy person,” Emmett said bluntly. “She lives in _Forks_. She gets rained on.”

“Forks,” I agreed. “The _one_ town in America where vampires and werewolves make up a significant part of the population.”

_That we know of._

I didn’t answer, stewing in my own worry. He watched me thoughtfully.

“If Rose was human…” He shook his head. “I mean, it doesn’t make sense to think about. We were all dealt pretty rough hands, there’s no arguing that, but I could never have been with Rose as a human. It wouldn’t have been accepted. Same goes for where she’s from.” _It’s no use thinking about what-ifs. We have what we have._

I stared at him, nonplussed but touched. “Where is all this maturity coming from?”

“I _told_ you I had a lot to teach.” _I don’t know why you didn’t just go to Tanya. Isn’t this her whole deal?_

I set my jaw. “I won’t give her the satisfaction.”

He winked. Give her _the satisfaction so you can give_ Bella _the satisfaction._

“That’s the Emmett I know."

 

****************************

 

“What did you get for five?” I leaned precariously from Angela’s bed to peer over at her Biology worksheet. When it came to in class work, I always let Edythe take the lead. But, despite the fact that I’d been in advanced placement in Phoenix, Banner’s homework always stumped me.

“Syngamy.” She held out her paper for me to see from her spot against the door, where she’d planted herself after her twin younger brothers had barged in for the second time. “I think.”

“Thanks,” I sighed, writing in my answer. It was strange – I used to enjoy homework. It had always been like a respite. Living with Renée was like being in the eye of a hurricane; constant movement, lots of noise, and too much emotion. I loved it all, but basic things like cooking, laundry, and homework had become a big part of what I liked to call ‘Bella time’. It was like turning of my brain for a little while.

Now, it didn’t seem to be working. I kept going back to Alice. I believed her when she said she didn’t want to lie, but she obviously saw it as necessary. I was willing to bet the wolves were just as strong in their convictions.

“You seem anxious,” Angela observed quietly.

I looked up, startled. “Is it that obvious?”

She started to shake her head, then nodded. “Kind of. You don’t have to talk about it, but I’m here if you want to.”

Drawing a little star at the corner of the page, I nodded slowly. Maybe that was exactly what I needed. Just someone to talk to. Someone completely unbiased. And Angela was so sweet and understanding. I didn’t doubt she was great at giving advice.

But how to explain it in a way she would understand? Settling on the simplest option, I put my homework to the side and slid onto the floor across from her. “So, I have two friends.”

She nodded to show she was listening.

“They don’t get along super well, and there’s a lot of…baggage. History, I guess.” I remembered Jacob’s incredulity when Sam wanted to work with the Cullens, his hope that the intel I gave them would be used to win a fight. “And I can’t help but feel that they want me to choose sides.”

She twirled her pencil thoughtfully. “Is either one of these people Edythe Cullen?”

My stomach jumped into my throat. “Why do you say that?”

“No reason,” she smiled. “Who’s the other friend?”

Following the metaphor, I decided to tell her it was Jacob. Her eyes lit up in recognition.

“The boy from La Push?”

“Yeah,” I said uneasily. I hadn’t expected her to remember. “That’s him.”

“You seemed to get on well.”

It was easy to answer that. “We do. We were friends as kids, and I guess not that much changed since then.”

I realized how ridiculous that sounded. So much _had_ changed that it was a wonder he still wanted to be friends with me at all.

“You and Edythe seem pretty close, too.”

I opened my mouth, but no words came. She laughed quietly. “I know I’m the pastor’s daughter, but I would never judge anyone on who they liked.”

I just stared, feeling very strange. Angela only ever saw Edythe and I together in class, and there was just no way it was that obvious how I felt. Angela continued nervously.

“I mean, it just seems like she really likes you.”

“Likes me,” I repeated. Angela tilted her head to the side.

“She’s always looking at you. At lunch, in class. It seems…possessive, in a way.”

My heart joined my stomach, beating hard in my neck. Angela smiled, looking down at her paper.

“It’s just a guess, really, but maybe their problem is jealousy.”

“No,  _no…_ ” I should have just kept my mouth shut. There was no way to explain everything. “Jacob isn’t _jealous_. We kissed, and he…”

Angela’s face lit up with good humor, and I dropped my face into my hands in horror at the word vomit. “It’s not like that. I think I just did it because…because I like Edythe a _lot_. I was confused.”

“Oh,” she said calmly. “But you and him are still really good friends?”

I nodded from behind my hands.

“Does Edythe know it’s not like that with him?”

“I don’t see how she couldn’t,” I mumbled. But I wasn’t sure. Wouldn’t she know from reading his mind? She never said anything, but maybe she was too polite, for once, too mention it.

“Maybe you should talk about it.”

I considered what that conversation would be like, lowering my hands. _Hey, Edythe, you know Jacob is gay and I’m totally available, right?_

Angela smiled at my expression. “It was just a thought.”

She looked down, and I knew that the conversation was over. Angela never pried where it wasn’t wanted, and I guessed she could sense that she’d given me a lot to think about. Some time passed where I stared blankly down at my homework, thinking.

“I’m still waiting on my college applications to come back. It’s killing me not to know.”

College applications. A pit opened up in my chest. “You’ve already applied?”

“To a few places, but UW is my first choice. I’m positive Jess will get in, so we might be roommates if I make it.”

“UW?”

“University of Washington,” she corrected herself, looking up. “You should apply soon, if you plan on going to college. Most early deadlines are before January.”

Shit. I had completely lost track of time, and now there was almost none left. Not to mention I had no idea where I wanted to go. Somewhere in me was the opinion that just one of my parents could have reminded me, but it wasn’t their fault. Absentmindedness seemed to come from both sides of my family tree.

“Are you doing anything this weekend?” Angela asked, changing the subject again. “Ben and his cousins are going camping, and Jessica and Mike were thinking about going to the movies again. Edythe could come.”

I nodded, barely listening. “Sure, maybe.”

After eating a good but twin-dominated dinner with Angela’s family, I said my goodbyes and went home. Jacob had texted me, but it was brief and the only information I got from it was that they had found nothing.

I told myself that there was plenty of time to apply. It was only November. The much more immediate issue was what Angela had left me with.

I had to admit that the jealousy theory had some merit, if only in the sense that there was definitely a sense of…competition. Especially on the side of the pack. I just didn’t think it had anything to do with _me_.

She had kind of thrown off the rest of the metaphor off with her comment about Edythe. _I see the way she looks at you_. I wondered what exactly she was talking about. In class, all I got were exasperated looks and thinly-veiled insults. We _had_ locked eyes at lunch, in a way that felt very intentional and not at all antagonistic, but I’d figured she was listening in on Alice’s ridiculous conversation with Jessica about the _Scarlet Letter_. 

And then Edythe's murmured words;  _you'll be safe with me._

I knew they could hear human heartbeats, so that had definitely given me away. Mine had nearly given out. I desperately wanted to see her again, outside of school and all of the supernatural drama. But I couldn’t be selfish; I definitely wasn’t more important than making sure the reservation was safe. Biology would have to do it for now.

“Hey, Dad,” I said, locking the door and unzipping my coat. “How was work?”

“Slow day. That’s fortunate, I guess,” he mused from his sports magazine. I wrinkled my nose at the smell of Alice’s leftover roast. They had used a lot of garlic. “How was school?”

“Lots of homework.” I sat down, twiddling my thumbs.  “Angela said she’s already been applying to colleges.”

He set down the magazine, eyes wide. “Already? Is it that time?”

I shrugged. “Guess so.”

He ran his hands over his face. “Aw, jeez, Bells. It must’ve slipped my mind with all the – no, you know what? There’s no excuse. I even heard one of the deputies talking about helping his son apply.”

“It’s not your fault,” I assured him, blushing. “I just thought I’d mention it. I don’t know what the good schools are here in Washington.”

There was a beat of silence. I almost didn’t realize what I had said. Charlie stared at me, bushy eyebrows drawn together. “You want to stay here for school?”

I was surprised at myself, but it was true. I hadn’t even thought of going anywhere else.

“I mean, I’ll have to hear out mom’s case, but yeah. I’d miss you. And Jacob, and Angela, and… and Alice.”

He smiled, and I was horrified to see tears shining in his eyes. Horrified, and a little bit choked up.

“I’m glad you’ve been making friends.” He cleared his throat. “And I promise, Bella, I’ll make more time. As soon as we find this bear, maybe I can take some time off – “

“Dad.” I leaned across the table, putting my hand over his. “Really. Don’t worry about that. I’m like you – I like the quiet. I’m happy.”

He put his other hand over mind, pressing it tightly. “It’s been…it’s been good to have you here. And we’re going to work on those applications this weekend, okay?”

I smiled, and we pulled our hands back, discreetly wiping at our eyes. He went back to his reading, and I went to mine, pulling out the stiff copy of _Scarlet Letter_ and working through the last half.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I, too, hate dodgeball.
> 
> Thx for reading!


	11. Jealousy

Three days later, Alice still hadn’t found the nomads, I was still keeping her secret, _and_ I was going to have to see Jacob. It seemed like lying to his face was definitely going to become a thing.

I knew I would have to see him, because the other Thing in my life, the big red one, had failed me. 

In the mornings, it was usually one of my greatest pleasures to shut out the cold and blast the heat on the way to school. Today, though, I saw that the driver’s side window was down a few inches. Dismayed, I got inside and turned the crank. Somewhere inside the door, metal grinded against metal loudly.

I sat back and stared at it in disbelief. A broken window crank. Of all the things I expected to go wrong with this truck, windows were at the very bottom of the list. Thing had survived Tyler’s van, for Christ’s sake.

I put my forehead on the wheel, hair lifted by the frigid breeze coming through the cab. Charlie was at work. He _probably_ wouldn’t mind coming home to look at it, but that would end with me getting dropped off in the cruiser. And I was already running late. 

I tried pushing the window up with my hands, but it just slid back down.

Maybe Jacob could look at it. After school. Such a long time away.

Defeated, I pulled my hood tight and started the engine. It wasn’t raining, for once, but there was no way it would hold. I shrunk down while accelerating down the road, in a feeble attempt to avoid the blast of air. I hadn’t thought to wear gloves, and my hands were stinging and numb long before I pulled into a parking spot.

Instead of enjoying my breakfast alone in the warmth, I shoved the sandwich-bagged poptarts into my backpack and ran inside.

Jacob sent me an excited _yes_ before I was out of my first hour. I pondered ways to repay him as I walked to the next building, stopping when a snowflake landed on my nose. Dark clouds. And the temperature was dropping. Just great.

I fretted all the way through lunch, listening to Alice and Jessica talk about some prom dress designer. I think Alice even offered to make Jessica’s dress for her. I ignored her pointed looks in my direction. There was no way I was going to prom.

I only looked over at Edythe’s table once. She was smiling and laughing at something. Emmett caught me staring, and winked.

I smiled back weakly, looking through the windows at the falling snow. Leather seats. I had leather seats.

“You know,” Edythe said in Bio, sliding into her seat with a smirk. “You could have just called one of us.”

So she was in a talkative mood today. But her hair was down, and as usual it took me a second to hear the words. Looking at her so close always did something to my brain.

“Called you?”

“Is Alice a liar, or did you drive to school with a broken window this morning?”

I blinked, horrified. “She saw that?”

Edythe nodded. “You’re a masochist.”

“I didn’t think to call her,” I admitted. “I didn’t know she was good with cars. And I don’t have your number.”

Her honey brown eyes were amused, but she didn’t offer it. It wasn’t the first time I’d brought it up. It was starting to become something of a running joke. To her, at least.

“Well,” she flipped her book open. “She’s not, so I’ll just fix it.”

I wanted to say yes, if only because the offer itself made my heart skip a beat. But it was too late.

“Don’t worry about it,” I finally relucted. She abruptly slammed the book shut. I raised an eyebrow at the odd motion. Her expression hadn’t changed, but her hand fisted on top of the textbook.

“I’m perfectly capable of – “

“I’m sure you are,” I cut in, bewildered. “But Jacob’s gonna fix it for me, so…”

 It was frightening how her face was so totally frozen in a pleasant expression, and yet she was very obviously upset. About something. I wanted to turn around and give Angela an _I told you so_ look, because she clearly couldn’t tell possessive from murderous.

Edythe’s voice was strained. “So I should just let you drive home in the cold?”

“You need to be on patrol after school,” I whispered, needing her to understand. I leaned in out of habit, forgetting she would be able to hear  anyway. “I don’t want to distract you. Or anyone.”

“Fine,” she said, irritated. Still smiling. “I’ll leave it.”

She was starting to irritate _me,_ so I kept my mouth shut.

“Do you want me to check your homework?” She asked a moment later, tone slightly more pleasant. I handed over my folder with a sigh, hating, at that moment, that I needed her help so badly.

At the bell, she left without saying goodbye. It confused me. Was she _that_ mad? And  what, exactly, did she have to be mad about?

Frustrated with her and dreading the drive home, I stumbled across the lot after a grueling hour of volleyball to inspect the damage. I pulled the door open, looking at the dry, snowless cab. There was a folded sheet of paper on the dash.

I rolled the crank down experimentally, and then back up, a slow smile spreading across my face. I looked around, but there was no silver Volvo to be seen. How could she have done it so fast?

I sat and unwrapped the paper, recognizing the neat script right away.

_I said I wouldn’t. You can thank Rosalie._

Signed  _E._ And below that, a phone number. I slid down in my seat, pulling the collar of my sweater up over my mouth so no one would see me grinning like an idiot in my car. The pen had made deep indentations in the paper. I ran my fingers over them carefully, smile fading as I realized I’d have to explain this to Jacob.

Oh.

That’s why she had been so weird about it. This was a spite thing.

I put the number in my phone anyway, with no small amount of triumph. Alice texted me a second later.

_Make sure you change the oil before Christmas, too._

_Stop watching me_ , I answered, tossing my phone and pulling out when there was an opening. Jacob was still expecting me, and I wanted to see him anyway, so I turned towards town to pick up some coffees to break the blow.

The snow had stopped again by the time I got to Emily’s. Jacob bounded out to meet me before I’d even parked. His lack of a shirt offended me.

“Smells like bloodsucker in here,” he said, pulling the door open and leaning in. “Which window is it?”

I bit my lip. “Yeah, about that.”

“What?”

“It’s fixed already.”

His eyebrows drew together, and I hastened to hand him his latte. He took it from me suspiciously, hair draping over his shoulder in a glossy black curtain.

“Did you go to a mechanic?”

“Of course not.”

His eyes bugged. “ _Charlie_ did it? He barely knows how to change a tire!”

“How’s Emily?” I tried to slide out of the car, but he wouldn’t budge, eyes narrowing.

“Who fixed the window, Bella?”

I shrunk beneath his glower, sighing in defeat. “Edythe. And Rosalie, I think.”

He breathed out, jaw twitching. It was the angriest I’d ever seen anyone look with a coffee cup in their hand. “I thought I was your mechanic.”

I felt guilty for a moment, until something in his expression clicked for me. I couldn’t help it – I started laughing. Angela had been _right._

“Oh my God – you’re jealous! _”_

“That’s ridiculous,” he said, moving when I pushed at his chest. I grabbed my backpack and my own coffee, slamming the car door shut.

“Not jealous of me,” I slapped my hand to the door. “Jealous of the car.”

At his answering pout, I knew I was right. “You can’t _stand_ that they touched it, can you?”

He raised an eyebrow and sniffed. I caught the smallest twitch of his lips. “Maybe if they didn’t leave their _stench_ behind. Just let me look at it next time.”

“Aye, aye, captain.” I started toward Emily’s house. He stopped me with an arm around my waist, turning me the opposite direction. “Ow!” I said, though it was more jarring than painful.

“Let’s go to the garage.” He took a sip. “I’m in the mood to fix something.”

“Okay,” I fumbled for my car keys.

He pulled me along down the gravel road. “Let’s walk. It’s nice out.”

“Maybe for you!”

“It’s not too far,” he reasoned, glancing down at me. “We’ll go through backyards.”

I glanced wistfully back at Thing. “I think we should save trespassing for the summer.”

“I don’t want Billy to know we’re back there,” he sighed.

“Why not?”

“He’d try to talk to me.”

I looked at the set of his jaw, the tightness of his shoulders. Maybe it wasn’t just the car thing he had been upset about. Billy must have done something. I hadn’t seen him the past few weekends, and I’ll I’d gotten out of Charlie about it was that Billy was still being short with him about the gang accusations. That was a load of crap, obviously.

Jacob rolled his eyes at my calculating expression. “Stop trying to figure it out. You’ll never guess.”

“Tell me, then.” I put my arm around his middle so I wouldn’t trip as we moved from the gravel to the mud, crossing diagonally across the yard of a small brown house.

After a long moment of quiet, he started talking. And talking. And talking. Until I’d nearly forgotten completely about the miserable weather. I stopped in the doorway of the garage, gaping up at him.

“Embry is your _brother_?”

“Get inside,” he hissed, looking at the house. I let him usher me onto the tile. “I said it’s _possible_.”

I shook my head, unable to close my mouth. “Have you told him?”

“No,” he said, steering me toward the armchair. “What would I even say?”

The chair squeaked as I got comfortable. I really didn’t know what advice I could give. Renée had told me when it happened, Jacob’s mom and the crash. I was sad at the time, remembering the kind woman who had given us popsicles and made us picnic baskets. It had been hard on Jacob and his sisters, Billy most of all. If Jacob was right about this, I couldn’t imagine the toll it would take on their relationship.

“Does anyone know?”

He cleared his throat, putting a wrench to the motorcycle engine. “Paul.”

I held a hand out over the space heater. “You guys talked? That’s good.”

He didn’t answer, leaving me to my own assumptions. I didn’t guess it went well.

“How is Quil adjusting to everything?”

He exhaled a laugh. “With gusto. I think he’s just glad to finally know what the hell is going on.”

I tilted my head against the seat, looking up at the dusty rafters. “Me too. I have to apply to a college soon. It’s insane that after all this I still have to worry about _that_.”

The idle mechanical noises stopped. “Yeah. Guess you’ll go back to Arizona, huh?”

I shrugged. “Mom and Phil are settling down in Florida, in the spring. She just told me yesterday.”

“That’s far.”

“Yeah. But I don’t think that’s what I want, you know? It would be really nice going to Seattle with Angela. And Tacoma was beautiful.”

Without warning, Jacob sprang to his feet and flung the wrench across the garage. It hit the wall with a nice loud _bang_. I gripped the arms of the chair in surprise and startled fear.

“Tacoma is three hours away!” He cried, turning to face me. “Seattle’s four!”

“So what?”

“So that’s _still_ far!” He yelled. “I’ll never get to see you!”

“Jake,” I said in warning, watching his arms shake.

He took an unsteady step away from me. “Sorry. Sorry. I just…I was so excited when you came to live with Charlie. Then shit hit the fan, and now I’m always busy! It’s not _fair._ My whole goddamn life is slipping away!”

I watched him with wide eyes, the space between us full of tension. His wall had dropped, a wall I hadn’t even realized was up. He looked scared and young. It had been hard to see all that under the bulging muscles and bravado.

I tried to diffuse, hating to see him so upset. “I’m not going anywhere for a while, okay? I’m here for you.”

He shook his head. “I don’t want it, Bella. I don’t want to be the Alpha. I don’t want to be on the council for the rest of my life. I don’t want to look at Embry every day and know that he’s wondering which one of us is his half-brother.”

“It’s okay, Jake.” He was shaking harder now, talking himself to the edge. “I know it’s hard. But you’re not in this alone. Your friends all love you. _I_ love you.”

He took a deep breath, squaring his shoulders and pulling the mask back on.

“You didn’t deserve that.”

I watched him retrieve the wrench. He sat back down, facing me and twirling the tool in his fingers. I could tell there was more on his mind.

“You have to be on the council?”

He nodded. “I’m the biological Alpha. It makes me the future Chief, technically. We all get guaranteed spots on the council when we’re old enough. Which is why Paul dropped out.”

“And you don’t want it?”

He was quiet for a moment. “I always looked up to my dad. I thought his job was so  _cool_. Such an _honor._ Finding out what he did…” His face twisted in disgust. “I wish I could get away. Even for a little while.”

I knew how he felt, to an extent. It was a normal way to feel. But Jacob’s situation was so different than most teenagers. More extreme.

“Did you drop out?” I asked hesitantly.

“No,” he grumbled. “Even if it’s totally pointless.”

“It’s not pointless.” I sat forward, choosing my words with care. “Have you thought about college?”

He looked at me like I was nuts. “Are you kidding? Like Billy could afford _that_.”

“Well, what are your grades like?”

“They’re…decent,” he evaded. “But it’s more than that. I’m not smart. I don’t have any skills.” He tapped the wrench against the floor sullenly.

“You never know. You could apply – “

“Can you stop trying to fix me?” He asked sharply. I slumped back and crossed my arms, stung. Was that what I was doing? Trying to fix? Maybe, a little. I just couldn’t see myself ever agreeing to stay in one place forever.

He dropped his face to his palm, sighing. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I told him. I really didn’t mind being the punching bag. He needed to get it out to someone.

“It’s Paul,” he said finally. “I mean, it’s everything, but he’s not helping. Sam put him on bed rest for the week.”

“Why?”

“Oh.” He looked up sheepishly. “Sorry. I just assumed the bl – Edythe would have told you.”

I made a noise of curiosity, glad he was using her name now.

“Quil phased right on top of Paul.”

“ _What_?” I gasped.

He waved a dismissive hand. “He’s fine now, but Sam banned him from phasing for a while, just to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself. He’s been making his boredom _very_ well known.”

“I’m sorry,” I sympathized.

“Don’t apologize.” He scrubbed at his face in frustration. “I’m just as bad as he is, taking it out on you. God, I want a cigarette.”

I rolled my eyes. He was already forgiven. “I thought you quit.”

“Not by choice. I’m still super addicted, but the nicotine doesn’t affect me anymore. It’s driving me nuts.”

I let him complain some more, listening instead of interjecting. He went back to the engine. It got darker, and the walls of the garage moaned against the wind. I read under the low lamp light until his stomach started to grumble.

“It’s looking pretty good, huh?” He stood up and rubbed his hands together.

I looked at the exposed parts, clueless. “It looks…mechanical.”

“I guess that’s a step in the right direction,” he sighed. “You hungry?”

I nodded, yawning and stowing my book away. “Are we going to Emily’s?”

“Yep. Thursday is hot dog night.” He pulled open one of the big doors, exposing the dark, snowy night. The wind had died down, but it was bitterly cold. He took one look at my face and laughed.

“Fine, I’ll show mercy. Climb on my back.”

I made a short noise of protest before an egregiously strong hand swung my body up in the air. I yelped and grabbed on as he hoisted my legs into position.

“Hold on tight!” He said light-heartedly, pulling the door shut. And then we were running. Even holding me, he was incredibly fast, snowfall blurring into a wall of white. I shut my eyes against it, laughing as every jarring step nearly threw me off.

In what seemed like seconds, Emily’s porch light shone through my eyelids.

“Put me down,” I gasped between peals of laughter, tapping out. He slid me off his back and to the ground with a surprising amount of grace.

“God, you're strong when you want to be,” he giggled, rubbing at his uninjured neck.

“I was holding on for dear life!” I shoved ineffectually at his chest. He caught my hand and used it to spin me toward the house.

“Go. I’m hungry.”

I jaunted up the steps, eager to get out of the cold. Heavy warmth flowed outside as he pulled open the door, revealing a packed living room and loud voices. He left me in the doorway, going straight into the sea of dark hair and russet skin that was the four boys crowded on and around the couch. I shut the door behind me, offering Emily a little wave.

“Bella,” she had to call out over the noise, beckoning me to the table. “So good to see you again! Do you want some tea?”

I took a seat. “No, thanks. I’m okay.”

“You’re hands are freezing,” she chastised, squeezing one of them. “Green or oolong?”

“Green.” I smiled nervously. I didn’t want to impose, especially after hearing from Jacob how much she did for the boys. It must be exhausting.

“I’ve got it,” Sam said. He was standing at the stove, prodding a pot of hot dogs.

I thanked him, then, hearing Edythe’s name, turned my attention to the couch. Jacob was shoved between Quil and Embry, listening to Jared. Paul sat to the side, against the wall. I didn’t see any sign that he had been hurt, but he was the only one wearing a shirt.

“No, just a few minutes ago,” Jared was saying.

“And that’s all she said?”

“What happened?” I asked, leaning forward subconsciously. “Edythe called you?”

Jared nodded.

“Yeah, she called me. Asking about the vamps we’re hunting.”

I looked around at their somber faces. “Is that weird?”

“It’s weird that they would ask,” Sam said, taking a mug of hot water from the microwave. “When we already told them everything we know.”

“And on top of that,” Embry took over, “The little one was asking me questions, earlier. She usually stays away from us.”

I took the tea as Sam handed it to me. “What kind of questions?”

“Stuff about their pattern. How often they come, how far North their trails ever went, stuff like that.”

I nodded, steeping the tea and trying to look disinterested. _Over before you know it._

“You know something,” Jacob accused. I looked up guiltily.

“Jacob,” Emily admonished him. He raised his eyebrows at me.

“Well?”

All eyes were on me. Emily was the only one who looked sympathetic.

 “I…” Well, I did tell Alice I would tell them if they asked. “I do.”

           

*********************************

 

Alice and I swam across the Canadian border just after midnight. The ocean was dark and turbulent, and swimming was slower than running, but Alice thought the large expanse of forest there was our best bet.

We had been lucky to nail down a general location, considering the general lack of information the pack had to give. We knew the trails always came from the North, and always ended in the water. They had to come up somewhere.

The trick had been deciding to run North simply until we reached the other side of Vancouver Island. It would take three or four days, at the most, but we were both willing. It would be worth it to cross _something_ off the list. But it wouldn’t be necessary, because she saw something the minute we’d decided. A ranger cabin, with a sign that read _Port Renfrew_. Very close.

 _It’s disappearing,_ she thought, somewhere next to me. _I don’t know what that means._

“Just follow the plan.” If we stuck to it, there were no risks.

Just as I spoke, the vision hit her. She came to a halt, skidding in the snow.

 _Two miles North. It’s the cabin again,_ she thought with relief. _Be careful_.

She sprang up through the treetops while I shot North. When the faint buzz of electricity from the building and the heartbeat within were clearly audible, I stopped and vaulted to the topmost branch of a pine.

The smell of the tree was almost overpowering, but I wouldn’t need to breathe, or move at all. I wouldn’t even blink. Unless they really were gifted, they would have no idea I was there.

If it even was the nomads we were looking for. All Alice knew was that we would encounter _someone_ at this point. Could be completely random, but I didn’t think so.

Either way, I could only observe. I was here to get in their heads, see what they wanted, and let them go.

While I waited, wind wailing through the tree tops, I thought about Bella. Jacob made her happy, and I didn’t doubt his intent to keep her safe, but there was no ignoring what had already happened to one of their own.

Not that I could say anything. Thanks to Angela Weber, I knew Bella thought we were pushing her to choose sides. She had been thinking about it at lunch. Naturally, Alice distracted her before I could hear what else they had talked about.

I didn’t want her to choose sides, at least not in the way Angela thought of it. Which was why I would be much more subtle in my opinions than Jacob. And Rosalie never passed up an opportunity to fix something.

The light of the cabin was faint, maybe half a mile away, nestled in the trees. The ranger inside was drinking something and turning pages. He would see his daughter this weekend. His name was Jeff. I didn’t want to hear him die.

A wind swooped in from the West, bringing with it the far off sound of light footfalls.

I knew in an instant that they were the ones we were looking for.

Seeing if they had abilities would have been enough. Even their names. Anything tangible enough to take back to the pack.

It was surprising, then, that I got _everything._

I could see that they were mates – James and Victoria. The one-sidedness of the relationship was made obvious in his complete lack of interest in the woman. They were bonded, but his mind was completely enveloped with intent, almost lackadaisically, on one thing and one thing only.

This kill was for her, and he, despite the nearly ravenous hunger in his thoughts, didn’t want it. Not at all.

It happened. The thing I had always feared, dreaded. Misunderstood. Something gave. Exploded. I heard the faint _boom_ of it, felt the ravaged pieces of resistance scattering the wide expanse of my mind. Like arterial blood on a white wall.

On the outside, I was a statue. Even as every part of me burned with an emotion I had no name for. Fear, rage, despair, madness, and hate – too much of each for what my physical form should be able to hold.

I didn’t allow myself one inch of movement, because if I so much as lifted a finger, it would be a fight. And I didn’t know if I would win.

 _Follow the plan_ , I repeated, on an endless loop. Alice had surely gone blind again. She wouldn’t know to come find me. If I was killed, no one would know what I had learned.

Using every vestigial scrap of self-control to do the impossible, I stayed still and listened. Reasoned to myself that the longer I sat there, the more information I would get.

Starting with how the hell he had seen Bella in the first place.

Second by agonizing second, I picked up the idiosyncrasies of his mind, piecing it all together with mounting horror. He was a tracker, that much was obvious. A new facet of the legends made sense to me now.

The dark-eyed man. Only feeding on what he hunted, only hunting what stood out to him. Strong enough to essentially starve himself between victims. He kept coming, coming for Ephriam Black’s wife. Even though he knew the risks – had lost a friend.

But that was wrong, too. My theory twisted as I listened to how he thought. The risk was the best part. And all of us, working together, was the biggest risk he had ever faced.

In less than ten seconds, my entire perspective had changed. As absolute as the turning of the Earth.

And Bella was all the way in Forks.

It was so much worse than I ever imagined. I had to go.

The woman was going to kick over a tree to get the ranger outside, away from cameras. I waited for the impact, using it to cover the sound of my jump. The act of movement ever so slightly cleared my head of the all-consuming panic, and as the ranger’s thoughts flashed in alarm, I made the decision to kick, hard, at the trunk of a tree as I fell. The resulting crash echoed through the forest.

I was out of range before I could hear their reactions, but I wasn’t worried about them finding my trail. From what I had heard, things were past that.

Alice waited for me on the frozen beach, panicking. I caught her hands in mine.

“Everything’s gone.” _What happened?_

The reflection in her eyes startled me. Whose face was that?

“Edythe!” She cried when I didn’t answer. “What’s wrong?!”

I was scaring her. I needed to say something. The sand under our feet crackled and popped as the tide washed out from under us. Bella was one hundred miles away.

“He’s after Bella,” I said. It was a thousand times more horrific said out loud.

She gasped, something flashing through her mind. A vision. A possible future.

 _Don’t look at that,_ she thought frantically, gripping my hands. But it was too late.

I’d seen the worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update: I added my writing playlist in the comments so check it out and thanks for reading!


	12. Fault Lines

_Thump_.

Something landed on my feet. I sat with a start, groggy from deep sleep.

“It’s me,” came a smooth voice. I finally noticed the shape moving near my closet.

“Edythe?”

“Get up,” she said stiffly. “We have to go.”

I sat up straighter at the urgency in her voice. It had to be very late; my eyes were sticky with sleep. Fabric and hangers rustled as Edythe messed around in my closet.

The thing at my feet was canvas, with lots of zippers. My duffel.

“What are you doing?” This was a lot different than my other Edythe dreams. For one, the cold attacked me as I pushed my blankets to the side. It was usually the nightmares that were cold.

“We have to go,” she repeated. “I have to get you on a plane.”

“A plane?” There was just enough light for me to see her throw clothes into the bag.

“Do you have a passport? Doesn’t matter. I’ll get you one in Seattle.”

“Passport.” There wasn’t room in my head to make a complete sentence. I tried to catch her hand as she wrenched more of my stuff off hangers. I just wanted her to stop for a second, but she was too fast. Disgruntled, I scooted my way across the mattress and forced myself between her and the closet.

“Why are you – ?“

Very quickly, and with no regard for my sanity, she jerked me close with a hand on my hip. The other hand found my cheek, cold and soft. My heart raced and my blood did it’s best to burst through my cheeks. Not a dream. My dreams never did her scent justice.

“That night at the hospital.” Her breath was icy, too. Like a cold front against my warm. Tornadoes, I thought offhandedly. Our bodies were a tornado. “You said you trusted me. Did you mean it?”

“Yes." It was true, even though I didn’t remember saying it. It was too dark for me to see her face. I wanted to see her honey gold eyes and the intensity I could hear in her voice. Too late, I understood what she was really asking. Something about a plane. “Did something happen?”

“No.” A hand pushed my hair back gently. I almost lost myself in the sensation of it. She’d never touched me like this. The most cynical part of my brain cut in – she must have a motive.

I swam through the fog of pleasure. “Why are you getting on a plane?”

“Right.” She pulled her hand away from my face. “Rosalie is getting the tickets now.”

I clung on as she tried to push me away, grabbing at the fabric of her shirt. It was wet. “What happened? Why are you…all wet?”

Her hand stopped mine from bunching up the shirt. “I can’t,” she whispered, in a new tone. “I can’t say it.”

The shift from aroused to terrified was hard and fast. “Who? Who’s hurt? Jacob? Alice?”

“They’re fine. _Please_ don’t argue with me,” she pleaded. “Just help me pack – “

She fell silent. My breath caught as her hand grazed my breast. A very cold thumb pressed against the soft skin just below my shoulder. Once again, my thoughts were scrambled.

“Who did this to you?”

It was hard to catch up to her line of thought. “Did what?”

Somewhat roughly, she jerked me toward the bed. I gasped as the lamp flicked on. In the sudden light, she looked completely feral. Not bad, exactly, because Edythe could never look _bad_ , but scary. Her hair was damp and tangled, eyes wide and nostrils flared. The golden color I’d come to expect wasn’t there. Instead her eyes were a dull brown, with purple circles underneath. When she spoke, her voice shook with anger.

“Who did it?”

I followed her gaze. Under the strap of my tank top, there was a bruise. Just barely darker than my skin. Thinking back, it was probably from Jacob picking me up. I didn’t remember feeling any pain, but it made sense. He was strong.

I certainly wasn’t going to tell _her_ where it came from.

“What happened tonight?” I asked again. Her face twitched horribly.

“Jacob,” she hissed.

“ _No!”_

She shut her eyes, jaw taut.

“Let go of me,” I said, trying to pull away uselessly. Her grip was stronger than steel.

She turned her head toward the window and mumbled something I didn’t catch.

“What did you say?”

“He’s here,” she said darkly. “And he shouldn’t be.”

“Jacob’s here?” I glanced at the window, terrified. I hadn’t left the pack in the best of moods, and Jacob had been angrier than any of them. If there was ever going to be a fight, it would happen tonight. It wasn’t something I had put to words before, but it had always seemed a given that Edythe wouldn’t do the same.

Now I wasn’t so sure.

“Outside, pacing. He’s too furious with me to phase back.”

“Can he hear us?”

She nodded.

"Jacob,” I said to the window. “Please go home.”

Edythe moved her head like she was listening to him again. So perfect and still she could have been a stature in a graveyard. A harbinger of grief. This was all wrong.

“No. I haven’t,” she said.

“What’s he saying?”

She ignored me, murmuring something else so quiet and quick I only barely heard.

" _Tell her yourself.”_

“Tell. Me. _What_?” I hissed, leaning up. Her eyes opened in surprise, then in pain, like I was hurting _her_. I jerked my arm harder, and she finally let go. I would bruise there, too.

She said my name as I rushed out of the room and down the steps as quietly as possible. Of course she beat me to the back door.

“Move, Edythe.”

“This isn’t smart. He's very upset.”

My hands fisted themselves. “He would never hurt me. _Ever_.”

“He already _did_ ,” she snapped, grabbing my shoulder. Already feeling guilty about it, I faked a wince. It worked – the anger melted from her face and she let go. Well, that was something. There was a second of quiet, where I wasn’t sure she would let me leave. Would I have to scream? Wake Charlie up?

She flashed away, appearing again before I had time to take a breath.

“At lease put these on.” She held out a coat and a pair of my tennis shoes. I shrugged the coat on while she watched, feeling like a child. When my feet were shoved into the shoes, she stepped silently out of my way.

The coat didn’t do much; wind ripped at my bare legs, taking with it the last of the warmth that Edythe’s skin hadn’t already leeched away. I walked toward the trees with her at my back.

“Jake?”

The darkness took on the shape of a wolf, standing at the tree line. I knew the exact moment Edythe stopped following by the way he closed the last few feet and stuck his muzzle into my neck.

“Hey,” I pulled at his head until he rolled one large black eye in my direction. “Is everyone okay?”

He jerked his head toward Edythe, growling and baring extremely long and sharp teeth.

“ _Jake,_ ” I urged, panicking now. “She won’t tell me anything. You have to phase back.”

A high pitched whimper broke through.

“Just calm down,” I whispered. “I _won’t_ let you fight each other.”

He snorted, the first sign of amusement. I took it as a good thing when he backed away into the trees, and wrapped my arms around myself so I didn’t follow. I didn’t look back at Edythe.

“You’re not helping,” she said suddenly, just as Jacob stomped back into view. He shook all over. “Don’t do this.”

“Jake –“ I started.

“She deserves to know,” he said murderously, over my shoulder. “This is _your_ fault.”

“Stop!” I wished that I was tall enough to block his line of sight, but of course they were both freakishly tall. I wouldn't have a hope of stopping them if they really started going at it. “They were just trying to help – “

“Bella, I’m not taking about that.” He took a shaky step forward, looking over my shoulder. “You should have killed him.”

“WHO?!” I bellowed. It didn’t matter if Charlie woke up – I’d had enough.

Jacob’s body rocked violently. I glanced over my shoulder. Edythe leaned forward on the balls of her feet, face impassive. She was scared he would hurt me. I didn’t have that fear. I was _angry_.

He looked at me for the first time, face falling into a sad sort of resignation. I inhaled sharply. Both sides, then. At least two people were hurt if they were both acting like this.

“Edythe and Alice found them. The strays.”

“And?” I demanded. He took a deep breath.

“And we know what they want.” He looked at Edythe again. “You.”

My hand fisted into the fabric over my heart. “They want Edythe?”

His eyebrows quirked. “No, dummy. _You_.”

It was so far out of left field I almost laughed. It was a relief, really. They were mad at each other for no reason, because clearly this was wrong. Edythe had misheard.

Jacob frowned when I shook my head, like he hadn’t expected me to question this.

“C’mon,” I said, holding back a giggle. “You're joking, right?”

He didn’t laugh. He looked upset. Nonplussed, I turned to Edythe. “What’s he talking about?”

She was locked in a paralytic stillness, opposite from Jacob but obviously just as stressed. Her eyes didn’t waver from him.

“It’s true.”

My coat billowed around me, but I couldn’t feel the cold. Maybe I had gone numb from it.

“They want to kill you,” Jacob clarified, watching me. For a reaction, maybe. I blinked up at him, trying to speak and finding my throat closed up.

“She shouldn’t have told you that,” Edythe said angrily.

“Get _out_ of my head!”

“You’re  _loud.”_

“Why me?” I asked. Not to anyone in particular, just so that someone might hear it and realize how ridiculous it sounded. Jacob crossed his arms and gave Edythe a defiant look.

“Alice said it's because your blood smells amazing.” He sniffed. “It’s _sick_.”

“That’s one possibility,” Edythe said quickly.

Jacob snorted. “I’m sure.”

I was stuck somewhere between denial and reasoning. Surely one of them would have owned up to the joke by now. At least they’d be getting along if it were.

“Bella…” Edythe said. I looked over at the sound of her voice. The smallest bit of emotion clouded her eyes, going dark as Jake pulled me to face him.

“Wait a second. I heard what she was saying to you in there,” he said. I didn’t answer, and he started to look worried. “You’re not leaving, right? Tell her you won’t leave.”

No one was hurt, I was still realizing. Nothing had actually changed. We just knew what they wanted - me.

Just me.

“Bella,” he begged. “Please.”

“No,” I said belatedly. “I’m not leaving.”

His face cleared a little.

“You’d rather be used as bait,” Edythe grit out.

“That’s _not_ what I said, bloodsucker!” My hands flew to his chest to keep him from steamrolling right over me. My feet skidded back in the grass. “She’s the safest human in the whole goddamn world with all of us protecting her!”

“You don't understand.” Her voice chilled me, cold and hard and flat. Jacob shook harder. “He knows our weaknesses. He knows how to stay in Alice’s blind spot without ever having met her.” He snorted, and an urgency crept into her voice. “Listen to me – he has had _plenty_ of time to get to Bella. He’s _been_ here. He has her scent.”

Jacob set his jaw. “That’s not possible. We’d know. You all stink to high heaven.”

“He’d rather we find out like this," she continued. "When he’d already had the chance. This is a game to him, alright? A game he’s never lost. He is one _hundred_ percent committed. He’ll gladly die trying to – “ She stopped herself. “Is it a risk you’re willing to take?”

I gazed sightlessly through the middle of Jacob’s chest. My scent. My blood. All the things they were saying to each other tried to connect, to form a realization I didn’t want to have. I wished they hadn’t told me at all.

The darkness was letting up. The tree tops were visible against the sky. Sunrise meant Charlie would be up soon. Jacob shook my shoulder. Maybe he had said my name.

“Don’t do that,” Edythe spat.

“Charlie,” I whispered. He shut his eyes for a second, then looked up at Edythe.

“I don’t know, it might,” she said. Mind reading again. “No, one of us. We’re more discreet.”

“Hey.” He pushed my hair behind my ear. “Charlie’s gonna be fine. Maybe Billy can get him out to the reservation. It’s safe there. And why don’t you skip school and hang with Emily tomorrow?”

“I don’t think – “

“I wasn’t asking you,” he snarled at Edythe.

“Don’t fight,” I managed. “Not with her. I’ll go to Emily’s.”

“Bella, please – “

“It’s her decision. Not yours,” he said to her, hand tight.

“Stop it,” I said, taking his wrist. Everything had taken on a dreamy, unreal feeling, but I still didn’t like them yelling at each other like this.

Edythe said something under her breath again. Jacob’s hand shook so hard that my teeth chattered. But he smiled at me.

“ _I_ won’t start a fight.” He gave Edythe a dark look and dropped a kiss to my forehead. “I gotta go. One of us will be here all night, okay?”

“Okay,” I muttered, confused. He was leaving, and it suddenly seemed much more likely that I would never see him again. I held onto his arm. “I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“Of course.” He looked at me pleadingly. “Don’t let her make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

“Jake…” I watched him disappear into the shadows, shaken. 

Edythe was in front of me. The faint light threw her cheekbone into sharp relief, making her seem gaunt and sad. Jacob’s kiss burned on my forehead. I wondered what she had whispered to him.

“Of course it’s your choice," she said brokenly. “But you should consider leaving.”

I shook my head, some sense coming back to me. “What happens if I do? Running away…it would break Charlie’s heart. And Jacob’s. Not to mention all the other people this – this – “

“James,” she supplied, mouth turning around the name.

James. It was too normal a name. “He’ll hurt other people.”

“I don’t care about other people,” she said quietly. My breath caught. “We could go somewhere nice. Warm.”

I didn’t know what to say. It was the most tempting offer ever made anywhere on earth, probably. Was it really happening? Was she saying what I thought she was saying?

Her eyes moved over my face like she was trying to memorize it, and I liked that. But it wouldn’t be a vacation if I had to hurt someone in the process.

“I’ll be out here if you need anything,” she said, looking away.

I looked back at the door. If I went inside, the shock would wear off. I would absolutely lose it. Here, with her, there was something to keep me from thinking about it.

“Is it true? About my blood?”

Her brow furrowed, the only movement on an otherwise stock still body. “Yes."

I nodded. What did it matter, really? She wanted my blood, on some level. I knew that. I also knew that she had tasted human blood before. Maybe even killed people, at some point. And I wanted to know about that. I did. I just didn’t think it would change anything. I was too far gone.

Her eyes widened as I stepped closer. Our chests brushed together. She was so _still_. Not even breathing, as far as I could tell.

"I trust you," I whispered. My blood was maybe a factor, but I trusted that there were other things she wanted from me. I lifted myself up on tiptoes. Her lips parted just slightly.

“Bella,” she said softly, hands pushing me back down. Just out of reach of her mouth. “I can’t.”

Her fingers wrapped perfectly around my middle. I put my hands over them, letting out a slow breath. Her skin was like marble, but it didn’t feel cold anymore. Which meant I probably had frostbite or something.

“Why not?”

She looked genuinely terrified. “I want to. Surely you know that.”

I nodded, trying to press myself closer. She didn’t give me an inch. “Why are you making this so hard?”

“We aren’t at the same place.”

“I’m right here,” I argued, even though, as usual, I had no clue what she really meant. “I don’t want to be anywhere else.”

“You don’t know what it’s like…” Her eyes took on a panicked look and her thumbs rubbed into the thin fabric of my shirt. “To see the future.”

I swallowed. “What did you see?”

“You’re shivering.”

I couldn’t tell if I was. It just didn't matter.

“I don’t…” she exhaled sharply. “I don’t want anything I do to be out of fear.”

Fear. A giggle escaped me.

“Are you laughing at me?”

“No.” I made one last attempt to wiggle out of her grasp. No dice, but her eyes did flicker down to my cleavage. “Are you rejecting me?”

“No.”

She didn’t seem to get the joke, so I stopped, shaking my head. “I was just trying not to think about it.”

“About what?”

“The fear.”

“You have nothing to be afraid of.” She pulled her hands away, moving too far from me. “I’m sorry. Distractions don’t come easily to me.”

“I beg to differ,” I said without thinking. She smiled her crooked smile, but it didn’t feel real. It didn't reach her eyes. I could feel the tears on their way up my throat.

“You really are shivering. Try to sleep.”

“Come with me?” I tried hopefully. Her smile faded.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Worth a shot. There was no way I would get any sleep before sunrise.

The look of pain was back. “Go inside, Bella. Please.”

           

************************************

 

What an un-fucking-believable night. At least Emmett’s advice had been good, I reasoned –  Edythe didn’t seem to like the thought of Bella kissing me too much. A pissed off vampire was a mission accomplished, in my books.

I was just left wondering if what she’d said was actually true. That was the danger of a mind reader – they had a front seat to all your insecurities. So I didn’t know if Sam actually thought I was a coward, or if she had just known exactly where to hit me.

Alice said Edythe would be ‘out of it’ when she was catching us up. Apparently, in vamp talk, that translated to full on crazy . She had teetered on the spot the entire time, eyes moving between me and Bella dizzyingly fast. Probably looking for a chance to snatch her away from the big bad wolf.

Whatever. Keeping Bella safe was the priority. I would have to just get over it.

Sam was sending the Call, but I needed a minute. Running in human form cleared my head a little. It wasn’t as fast as going on all fours, but I could probably go for miles without stopping. Maybe there was something in Emily’s fridge I could gorge myself on before patrolling until God-knows-when.

We’d hashed it out with Alice already, but the new patrol plan was already exhausting me. We would be covering Forks and the rez at all times, twenty four hours a day. Right back to the hellscape of a week ago. I just hoped Sam had the good sense to put Paul back on. I couldn’t handle any more of his lash-outs.

“Jacob?”

I stopped at the edge of the tree line and took a breath. Speak of the fucking devil.

“What?” I called back, pushing through the last of the brambles. Paul stood in the darkness behind Emily's house.

"Sam just called me.” He lifted something to his lips as he stepped off the stoop. Something trailing smoke in the air and glowing red as he inhaled. “Said to tell you to get your ass back on patrol if I saw you.”

Between the nicotine addiction and my own feelings, I was just kind of pissed off at how stupidly hot he looked. His hair had been slept on and brushed behind his ears instead of gelled back. My eyes moved unwillingly to his chest, where his shirt hid the barest trace of the long scar.

“I was busy.”

He stopped a few feet away, taking another drag. Emily definitely wouldn’t allow it if she was awake. Sam would be pissed, too.

“I know. Is Bella okay?”

I narrowed my eyes, trying to detect the sarcasm I knew was there. “Like you care. You’re not even on patrol.”

He examined the end of the cigarette, ashing it with a controlled flick of his thumb. “Are you kidding? I couldn’t phase if I wanted to. Sam’s orders.”

All thoughts of getting to patrol were dashed by the wave of rage that crashed over me. Misplaced, maybe, but it wasn’t like he didn’t deserve it. Before I knew it, I had shoved him. Hard.

“I’m so sick of your bullshit. You didn’t have a problem phasing on top of _Bella_.”

Any human would have been knocked back ten feet, but Paul just stumbled, eyes going wide. “That was an accident!”

“Was it?” I shoved him again. The cigarette fell to the ground and died.

“Stop,” he commanded, shocked.

“No,  _you_ stop!” I yelled. “Stop pretending to care about her!”

It happened fast. I pushed him again, and he came at me with a yell. We fell to the ground in a jumble of fists and knees. I was angry as hell, but the tremors were gone. I wouldn’t _phase_ on him, I would just give him the ass beating of a lifetime.

He had the advantage, pinning me to the ground like that, but I landed a few blows to his stomach trying to work my arms free. In response to that, he socked me across the face. I worked my jaw, checking for breaks.

He raised his fist again while I was stunned. “Of course I care!”

“You don’t!” I finally got my arm free, swinging. He caught my fist and pushed it to the ground. “You _never_ cared about me!”

“Oh, this is about _you_ now?” He snorted. My other fist connected with his cheek, knocking him off me and into the grass. For a second, I was sure I’d broken something. But he rolled to his feet without a sound and kicked me hard in the side. _That_ one hurt.

He watched me gasp for air, arms shaking. “You think I don’t _care_?!”

“Fuck you,” I groaned. He made to kick me again, but I stopped the momentum with a hand on his ankle. The movement made pain roll through the left side of my torso. It hurt like a motherfucker, but I also felt a little bit high.

He jerked his foot away. “I’m stepping back, Jacob. Letting you and Bella live your happy little lives together.”

I looked at his feet, still trying to catch my breath. The high was gone, replaced by a deep well of pain. Maybe it was naïve, but I really didn’t expect him to just make fun of me like that. I’d rather get kicked again.

“What? You got nothing else to say?”

I looked up, pushing myself off of the dirt with a grunt. “You decided you were done with me. I can’t have other friends?”

His face did something weird. “Don’t lie to me. Not to my face.”

He looked like he was about to cry or something, which didn’t make sense. We were supposed to be mad at each other. That, at least, I’d come to understand.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, totally lost. He laughed sourly and turned toward the house. I scrambled to my feet.

“Don’t walk away from me!”

He whirled around, eyes full of hate. “I was going to tell you.”

I shrunk back from his look. “Tell me wha – “

“At Quil’s party.” He started talking faster. “I thought I could finally – but you got super drunk so I didn’t. Two days later I turned into a fucking _wolf_ , so I couldn’t really – I couldn’t talk to you at _all,_ because I knew what you would ask – “

I remembered that party.  Em and Quil and some other guys from school had been there, all drinking and playing video games. Paul had shoved in next to me on the tiny couch. It felt so long ago now.

“And I decided I would tell you as soon as you turned.” He breathed, looking at the ground. “But then you were at the bonfire with _her."_

I thought I might pass out. “Tell me what?”

He just looked at me.

“We are not…” I paused, thinking it over. Paul was  _so_ off-base. I mean, me and Bella did _friend_ stuff. And she was always cold, so I didn’t mind holding her hand, or putting my arm around her. I had warmth to spare. None of it was ro _mantic_.

But I’d stopped correcting Quil and Embry when they made jokes about it. It had been going on so long that I didn’t see the point anymore. Fuck, if they could see me now. Getting my ass beat by a jealous Paul.

Jealous. The thought made my heart jump.

“There is _nothing_ going on between me and Bella,” I said, screwing up my courage. “And even if there was? _Fuck_ you for doing that to me. I thought you hated me.”

My voice broke, taking the last scrap of dignity I had. There was a horrible, drawn out silence. Paul just stared at me in shock. On top of everything, we both felt the Call. This detour had taken way too long. But I was glued to the spot.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said. The side of his jaw was bruising. “Okay? I didn’t know.”

I wiped my mouth, hand coming away red. The bruise from where he kicked me was already healing.

“You hit me.”

He bristled in disbelief. “You hit me first, you fuck.”

Something in the air shifted. Abruptly, I decided.

He braced himself as I moved. I’m sure he thought I was going to hit him again, but we’d hurt each other enough. And for all I knew, I could be dead tomorrow.

He made a sound of surprise as I smashed our lips together. There was a terrifying second where he was just very still, but then there was a hand on the back of my neck and I was being kissed back. I tasted blood and cigarettes and salt and coffee. 

When Bella kissed me, it had been sort of funny. Sweet. Paul was nothing like that. Paul was dry, and hot, and solid. He was a relief, and a burst of light behind my eyelids. Something had been missing from my kiss with Bella, obviously. Mainly the thing that was pressing into my hip – I couldn’t even _think_ about that right now. But more than that, it was just _him_. In that moment, he was everything. And he had his _tongue_ in my _mouth_. Things weren’t supposed to be _this_ perfect, were they? Not for me.

I hoped he couldn’t feel the shake of my fingers as I pushed up the fabric of his shirt. Hot skin met mine, hard muscles shifting underneath. The werewolf libido I’d ignored for so long reared its head with a vengeance. My body was miles ahead of my brain, which seemed to have shut down completely.

All I could think was that I needed more of him. I licked into the heat of his mouth, earning a soft groan. He broke the kiss when my hands were sliding up his back, stepping completely out of my reach. My disappointment fell away when I saw the bulge in his pants. Whatever happened next, I at least had that to remember.

“We have to stop,” he said, breathing like he’d run a marathon.

I was too dazed to answer. Too busy raking my eyes over his body. I’d thought about it a lot, but now that I had touched him it all seemed brand new. 

And I had to go.

“The Call,” he said quietly. Like I needed a reminder.

“So, what? We just leave it like this?”

He shrugged, looking way too put-together. It felt like someone had put a taser directly to my brain. “We don’t have a choice.”

Fuck. Now I had to go back on patrol and control my thoughts all day. It would be the mental equivalent of a triathalon to not let any of this slip through.

“I’ll be here,” he said, rubbing his neck. “When we get a chance to, uh…”

“Talk?”

“Yeah, talk,” he smiled. The smile he used to have. The one meant just for me. I felt sweaty.

I nodded and realized I was staring. “G-good. I’ll see you later.”

 

*********************************

           

The next day was cold and rainy, but Emily’s house was a warm respite.

“It’s been a real challenge,” she explained with a smile. I stood next to her at her countertop, balking at the amount of chili powder she was adding to the crock pot. “Sam used to love my spicy chili, but now _none_ of them can taste it anymore.”

The smell made my sinuses blast open. “It’s nice of you to try so hard.”

She sighed. “I have to do something to keep my hands busy.”

“I can understand that,” I muttered. I thought I would go insane, sitting in my room until sunrise and staring at the wall. As soon as Charlie left for work I’d driven to Emily’s. Despite the obscenely early hour, she had been awake and making coffee. I’d fallen asleep on the couch for a few hours until the smell of food had pulled me to the kitchen.

Glancing at the time, I scrolled through Alice’s last messages like I had every ten minutes since getting here. All I had to go on was that Rosalie was watching Charlie and everyone else was out hunting.

Emily noticed my worry. It was probably what pushed her to be so overly-cheerful. I liked her ability to fill the silence, because it put less pressure on me to be sociable. And I was learning a lot from watching her cook. Even if I couldn’t eat it. For example, spices could apparently go stale. That’s why all her food tasted so good. I’d have to replace everything in Charlie’s cupboard.

“Try it?” She held out a spoon jokingly. I made a gagging motion, and she turned to Paul with a smile. He walked obediently from his spot at the window to taste it.

“It’s good, Emily,” he insisted. They must have had this conversation before.

“But is it _spicy_?”

He hesitated. Her shoulders slumped, but she gave a determined nod. “I’ll go ask the neighbors if they have anything.”

I was put on onion duty while she ran next door. Knife work was always a slow process for me. I was much more likely than the normal human to chop a finger off. 

It was nice to be busy. As I chopped, I was vaguely aware of Paul. He had been borderline silent all day, but on edge in a way that kept me from asking for information. I didn’t think he knew much more than I did, anyway.

When I looked up to blink away onion tears, he was watching me.

“Want me to take over? It doesn’t bother me.”

“Okay,” I said, after the initial shock. I washed my hands in the sink, watching him out of the corner of my eye. He chopped much faster and more precisely than I could, and it looked like some of the tension had fallen out of his shoulders. Busy hands.

“I never really apologized,” he said, unprompted. “For scaring you last week.”

I wiped at my eyes, leaning back against the countertop. “No harm, no foul. I mean, I hear you got what you deserved.”

It was meaner than I intended, or maybe it was exactly the right amount of mean. He smiled anyway, something I’d never seen him do. It instantly changed his face, and I gaped. He was sort of a looker.

“I guess I did."

Emily came back brandishing a can of cayenne pepper, and I had to tap out. The kitchen was starting to smell like a very delicious toxic waste. I sat on the back steps for a while, seeing how much of the cold I could stand. It didn’t bother me that much anymore. It felt better to worry when I was shivering than when I was warm.

I picked dead weeds out of the earth, pulling them to shreds in my fingers and letting the wind carry them away. _You’re an idiot, Bella,_ I thought.  _You could have been on an island somewhere with Edythe by now._

I tormented myself with that for a while, thinking of sand and rum and long legs. Eventually, I drifted back indoors and tried to write some of my English paper. Emily cracked a few windows to ventilate the smell. I tried to help her with the clean-up, but she said she’d rather I did my homework. Nothing came to me, so I set to doodling in the margins of my notebook.

Emily and Paul talked in low voices, casting me looks that they thought I couldn’t see. She tried to get him to eat, but he said he wasn’t hungry.

At noon, he left without a word. She stood at the window, letting out a breath of relief when Sam came through the door a moment later.

 “We didn’t find anything,” he tossed in my direction. I nodded, chewing on my lip. No news was better than bad news. 

“He’s tired,” Emily explained quietly after Sam went to their bedroom. I looked down at my notebook. The pack was back to suffering long hours. Thanks to me.

The door opened again, and Jacob stepped through. I jumped up, tears pricking the corners of my eyes as I hugged him.

“How is everyone? Edythe?”

He chuckled against the top of my head. “She hasn’t calmed down any, that’s for sure. Is that chili?”

Emily handed over the bowl with barely contained excitement. I sat across from him at the kitchen table, watching with a grimace as he shoveled down several bites. After the third, his eyes went wide.

“This is spicy.” He looked at Emily in wonder. “I think I need some water.”

Emily clapped her hands and grabbed a glass. “I don’t care if Sam bites my head off. He _has_ to try this.”

“Good luck,” Jacob muttered. As soon as she walked off with another bowl, he leaned forward with an air of seriousness I wasn’t expecting.

“Is there something I should know?”

His tone unnerved me. “Huh?”

He frowned and shrugged. “I dunno. Alice found me today and started saying a bunch of weird stuff.”

“Like?”

“Like…” He set down his spoon and downed the glass of water. “Like that you need to be watched, or some shit.”

Dread churned in my stomach. “What did she see?”

“I don’t know. Nothing,” he said too quickly.

“Bullshit,” I whispered harshly. “Jacob, what did she see?”

He made a face, and I knew he was about to tell me. Then my phone started to vibrate and he looked relieved.

“You’d better get that.”

Stupid supernatural hearing. I dug my phone out from a pocket without dropping my glare, but the name caught my attention.

“Shit,” I said. “Shit. It’s Charlie.”

He grinned smugly. “Busted.”

It hadn’t even occurred to me to tell Charlie that I was skipping. I didn’t expect him to call me. Maybe something bad had happened.

“Hello?”

“Bella, where the hell are you?”

I turned away from Jacob’s smile. “I’m, um, on the reservation. Hanging out with Jake.”

There was a pause. I pictured his moustache twitching. “You’re with Jacob?”

I nodded, then remembered he couldn’t see me. “Yes.”

Jake snickered. I waved a hand for him to shut it.

“You skipped school?” He said incredulously. At least he sounded okay. Just angry.

“I, uh – yeah. I should have told you. I’m sorry.”

He sighed. “They just told me you weren’t here. I was worried.”

I heard voices in the background. “You’re at my school?”

“I’m here to pull Ben Cheney from class. You know him?”

“That’s Angela’s boyfriend. Is he okay?”

“He is,” Charlie said with a strange inflection. “He was supposed to go meet his cousins up at the Fairholme campgrounds this afternoon.”

It rang a bell. Angela had mentioned something about the cousins. “And?”

“Looks like another animal attack,” he said wearily. I gasped. “I haven’t been up there yet, but I saw the photos…”

Jacob’s chair flew back, making me jump. He called Sam’s name and ran outside. Sam followed a few seconds later, Emily at his heels. I almost chased them through the door. _Don’t leave me alone!_

“Hello?”

“I’m here,” I said. He noticed the shake in my voice.

“I’m sorry you had to hear it like this, Bells,” he said gently. “Just promise me you’ll stay inside. And be home before dark.”

“I promise.” My breaths were coming faster and faster. Emily watched me with scared eyes.

“And you should probably call your friend. She seemed pretty tore up.”

“Okay,” I whispered. Rosalie was with him, somewhere. She would have told Edythe and the rest about it already. “Be careful.”

“Always am. Love you.”

“Love you.” I hung up and stared at my phone.

“What happened?” Emily asked.

They were dead. Austin and Dylan, Ben’s cousins. I didn’t know them super well, but Austin sat with us at lunch sometimes. He was always super nice. Angela complained lightheartedly about Ben spending so much time with Dylan.

“Bella?” Emily put a hand on my shoulder.

“Um,” I tried to sound coherent. “Two people I know…Animal attack.”

She sank into a chair, understanding immediately. “Where?”

“S-some place called Fairholme.”

She nodded, fingers tapping on the table. “About a half-hour North of Forks.”

So close. Just far enough to be past the patrol, I imagined.

I tried calling Alice, but she didn’t answer.

“She’s probably out of range,” Emily assured me when I started to hyperventilate again. I couldn’t call Edythe. I didn’t want her to hear me like this. “It’s alright,” she crooned, holding me gently. I didn’t remember deciding to lean forward into her shoulder. “You’re safe here.”

I wanted to tell her she didn’t understand. I had been so worried about my indestructible friends, I hadn’t stopped to think of the other people whose lives I had touched. Who were only human.

Monster seemed too nice a word. He – James – had made my safety something twisted. Something with a body count.

Time slowed to a crawl. I sucked it up long enough to call Angela. By some miracle, she didn’t answer. I left a stilted voicemail, leaving my condolences to her and Ben. I hung up feeling even emptier. I remembered now, that she had told me about the trip when we were studying. It had flown right over my head.

Emily made me tea and tried to get me to talk. For her, I made an effort. She was so kind, and I knew she would never blame me for any of this. It wasn’t genuine, but I smiled and tried to make her feel better.

After a very long time, when it was nearing sunset and my notebook was full of scribbles, Embry arrived. He looked haggard.

“Anything?” Emily asked.

“Well, they didn’t come near Forks or here. Dr. Fang and Emmett followed the trails straight up to the water.”

“Was anyone else hurt?”

“Not that we know of.” He stretched and grinned at me, showing off lots of lean muscle. “I’m here to escort Bella home.”

I gathered my things numbly. Emily offered a Tupperware of some of the human chili she’d made for us. I hugged her goodbye, and she invited me to come back the next morning.

“You sure you should be driving?” Embry asked, walking beside me to the car. It took me too long to respond, which I guess was answer enough. He snatched my keys out of my hands in a move that was shockingly Jacob-like.

“Do you even have a license?” I asked suspiciously.

He shrugged, already behind the wheel. “It’s like riding a bike, right?”

“As in you’ve done it before?”

“Ridden a bike?”

“Driven a car,” I clarified. He grinned.

I decided it wasn't important.

“Crazy it was two people from Forks, huh?” He drove too fast over the gravel, pulling roughly onto the road. “And so close. I mean, it was _right_ outside our patrol.”

I looked through the window, keeping my thoughts to myself. None of this was a coincidence. Intentionally or not, a message had been sent. Getting through my guard hadn’t even been necessary.

_Come out, come out, wherever you are._

“Hey, you don’t look so good.”

“I’m fine,” I lied, wishing he would keep his eyes on the road. We were back at my house soon enough. It was just getting dark, and Charlie still wasn’t home.

Embry looked around curiously. “Shouldn’t there be a vampire here?”

As if on cue, the porch light flipped on. He hopped out and got my door for me, deceptively quick for his size.

“Hope you didn’t get Blondie,” he said, handing over my keys. “She’s not very fun to talk to.”

“Thanks,” I said, giving him a weak smile.

His hog surprised me. It was quick and kind of awkward, but oddly comforting.

“That’s from Jacob.” He let go. “He said you might need it.”

I sucked in a breath that wobbled, and he looked instantly terrified. I did my best not to break down.

"Thank you."

“Alright, I’ll see ya.” He loped off into the trees with a wave, and it wasn’t a moment too soon. I couldn’t hold a smile anymore.

If I hadn't decided to come here, to Forks, then Austin and Dylan would be alive. That was a fact. I just wasn't worth all of this.

Unlocking the door was hard with shaking hands. The moment I pushed it open, a stone arm yanked me inside.

“Alice?” I looked down in surprise. She shut and locked the door, putting her back to it. The way she planted her feet made me feel trapped. I stood there, waiting.

“They were good people,” she said sadly. “I’m sorry.”

Sorry. I didn’t want anyone to say that to me ever again.

“It’s not your fault.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Then who?”

I shook my head, eyes stinging. “Not yours.” Or Angela’s, or Ben’s. Or a _bear_ , for that matter. “What did you say to Jacob?”

She crossed her arms sternly. “Just what he needs to know. I don’t know what you’re planning, but – “

“I’m not planning _anything_!” I snapped. Alice took a step forward, face hard.

“Bella. We’re doing everything we can right now, okay? You just have to wait.”

“Oh, you’re doing everything you can?” I threw my backpack to the floor. “Then why are people dying? _Huh_? And what exactly am I being accused of?”

She looked less angry as my voice rose to a yell. “I don’t know. It was just a glimpse.”

“What did you see?” I asked. She looked away.

“I can only watch so many things at once.” The back of her head thumped against the door. “I don’t think this will last much longer, somehow.”

Her unspoken _one way or another_ hung in the air. Cryptic, as always. I took a deep breath, trying not to explode on her.

“When will Charlie be home?”

“An hour.” Something in her eye still looked distrustful. “Maybe two.”

I shuffled to the kitchen to cook something, trying to do my part to help Charlie. I had to keep my hands busy, pull it together before Edythe got there.

 _Not much longer_ , I silently agreed. _But long enough._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was late - I decided to post after my vacation instead of rushing it. This chapter is one I'm super excited about and I wanted to get it perfect. Let me know what you think <3
> 
> Songs added to the playlist while editing this:  
> Go To Town - Doja Cat  
> All For Us - Labrinth  
> What's It Gonna Be? - Shura  
> Can't Get Used to Losing You - Andy Williams


	13. You'd think that the vampire trying to kill me would at least have a cool name like Vladimir or something

Right through us. He’d known _exactly_ how close he could get.

Alice was worried. She could see the plans I was drawing together, vaguely. I couldn’t help it. The edge inched closer with every second that passed. What she didn’t understand was that I was already dying. I just needed something solid to fall back on, once the pain of existing was too much and a slow death wouldn’t suffice.

I knew there was something she was hiding, by the fact that she hadn’t been pestering me all day. But it was either chase her around to find out or stay where I was. I stayed.

Bella slept fitfully. I sat against the tree in front of her window, listening to the sheets rustle as she tossed and turned. Was she in pain? Afraid? I couldn’t know. I had to distance myself, now. So she wouldn’t see what was happening.

Carlisle came, probably the only other person I cared to have see me like this. He wanted to check on me. Alice sent him here. I got to my feet with a sigh.

 _Oh, Edythe_ , he thought, coming to a stop close to me. And then I saw it. My face. It was just as bad as I’d feared. _Let a wolf take over here. You’re driving yourself mad._

“I don’t have a choice.”

 _At least go eat,_ he prodded, taking off his jacket. I hadn’t noticed the large rip in my shirt. “I can stay here while you do.”

“Not hungry,” I muttered, taking the jacket out of politeness.

He frowned. _You don’t need to be stronger than him. Pride itself is a weakness._

Pride. I pinched the bridge of my nose, laughing darkly. “Alice didn’t tell you.”

_Tell me what, my dear?_

“I threw up.”

He fell silent for a moment, carefully measuring his thoughts.

_What did you eat?_

"Deer. Rabbit. Squirrel. All the same.”

Listening to his thoughts spin cursorily over the options did nothing for my mood. He wondered if the rabbit had a blood disease. If, like the old tales, I had drunk from it too long after it died. I didn’t want to hear any of it. If it was possible, he would have already heard about it.

“I’m dying,” I said, voice catching. “You won’t even think it, but it’s true.”

He had never seen me like this. It scared him more than anything. He would use the word _vulnerable_ , but in truth I was just _weak_. Mentally, and now physically. I picked up in his mind that Alice had told him of what I was planning. He hadn’t truly believed it, until now. I threw my arms around him, seeking comfort like a scared child.

He hugged me back, glad that Esme hadn’t seen this yet.

“You are not dying,” he said simply. “It’s all in your head.”

I flinched in shock, but the thing rolling down my face was just a raindrop.

Carlisle watched me warily. “You should try again.” _I could go find you something._

“I feel nauseous just thinking about, Carlisle.” I pushed my hair behind my ears. In the house, Bella whispered my name in her sleep. Carlisle’s eyes moved to the window. The need to be with her – to feel every breath against my chest like it was my own – was becoming unbearable.

“Leave me,” I pleaded.

He sighed, thinking of all the things he could say to get me to leave this post. I shook my head at all of them.

 _As you wish, then_.

I sank back into the fog when he was gone. It was getting hard to think around the fear. If it was a punishment, for loving her, then I’d gladly take it. One thing I didn’t need was an audience.

Rosalie came with sunrise. She waited with me in the darkness of the trees.

_Alice can’t see anything. The wolves have spread out their lines, just in case._

I nodded, listening. Alice had gotten to her, too. It was all over her thoughts.

Bella’s father woke up before his alarm. He was troubled about the deaths, even opening Bella’s door to check on her. It was simple, but his love for her was stronger than anything else in his life. She had been right about leaving – it would hurt him.

Rosalie clucked impatiently, looking at my dark eyes. _I can’t tell if you’re trying to be the hero, or trying to get yourself killed sooner rather than later. Don’t you want to_ live? Be _with her?_

Chief Swan sat and ate breakfast. “He’ll be leaving soon,” I said.

She thought some very crass words, forcing me to look at her with two hands on my shoulders. Her eyes and mind were more earnest than I had seen in a long time.

“Go ahead and go to the Volturi if you’re just going to give up! You’d never win a fight with him. Not like this.”

The thought of James, close enough for me to get my hands on…

“Alice would warn me.”

She pulled my phone from the waistband of my jeans. “It’s almost dead!”

I pulled it back. “Then she’d call Bella. I would hear.”

Manicured hands went to her hips. “You’re risking both of your lives acting like this. I care for Bella more than _that_. And I know I haven’t been very effusive in this sentiment, but I care for you, too.”

I closed my eyes, amused. Her accent always came out when she was upset. I remembered it well, how she had been as a human. We’d lived in the same town for a while, and she was always as rude to me as common courtesy would allow when we crossed paths. At first, she hated me for my beauty. After she became immortal, and obtained that beauty for herself, it was because of my personality. Recently, she had been nurturing a deep confusion and hurt that after all this time, my preferences didn’t include her.

I saw none of that now, and it was strange. I didn’t know Rosalie was capable of being selfless with me.

“I can’t eat,” I whispered. If only Carlisle would be a little less discretionary. I wouldn’t have to repeat it. “I’ve been throwing it up.”

Unlike Carlisle, she didn’t have a shred of worry.

 _So damn pigheaded._ “This is some Romeo and Juliet shit, Edythe.” She pointed a finger toward the house. “Drink from Bella if you have to – God knows you could stomach _that_!”

“Shut up,” I snapped, waking up a bit. I saw what she was trying to do, but knowing didn’t stop my reaction.

 _Maybe I’ll give it a try,_ she thought. “It’s been so long since I’ve had human. And her shelf life is about to expire – “

I punched her. Or at least, I tried to. The thing is, I was always the best fighter. Not for skill, but for the fact that very few people can fight without telegraphing their movements in their mind. So if I throw a punch, I know exactly how they will block it. Only Jasper had come close to beating me on that level.

Things had never gotten physical between Rose and I – our fights were mostly verbal, with Emmett to intervene later on. Nothing had ever crossed the line so thoroughly, and I was very eager to finally _literally_ knock her down a peg.

But she caught my arm and spun me, pushing a forearm against my throat.

 _Too slow,_ she thought savagely. _You’d be dead._

I pulled away, shaken. Too slow. I had been too slow. I looked down at my arm in horror.

“If you won’t eat, let Emmett take over here,” she said, already texting him. “Go find Alice and Jasper. Do _something_ instead of wasting away.”

“Not Emmett,” I said. “He’ll try to talk to her.”

She shot me a dangerous look. “Someone will be here soon.” We watched Chief Swan walk out to the cruiser. _Would you rather go with him?_

“No. I’ll wait.”

“You do that,” she sighed.

When she was gone, and I knew time was short, I couldn’t fight it anymore. Bella’s heartbeat was slow and steady, uninterrupted by the screech of her window. I was weak, absolutely. But not in this way. Not to her blood.

Pieces of Bella and her father dotted the small bathroom. Neither seemed much for clutter. It was basic miscellanea: a razor sitting haphazardly at the edge of the sink. A towel hanging on the shower rod. Ownership determined only by scent. Bella’s was sweet, floral. Rich. Chief Swan’s was similar, but so much more diluted. A drop in an Olympic-sized swimming pool. I washed my face with her soap, smoothing the hot water over my skin. My reflection was no comfort. It had been a long time since I’d gone this far.

Her heart rate sped up as she entered the last stage of sleep. I crept back to her room. As I stood at the window, she exhaled a breathy sigh. I fisted my hands in Carlisle’s jacket. The fabric ripped apart like butter.

Dark black hair curled over her shoulders as she turned to her side, moving her perfume through the air like flower petals. Cheeks and lips the color of amaryllis. She had tried to kiss me.

 _You gonna make me come up there?_ Emmett thought tauntingly.

One last look, and I left.

           

 

*********************

 

“The funeral is tomorrow, and I really don’t think Angela wants to be alone tonight. I’m thinking sleepover?”

“I don’t know…” I croaked, adjusting my phone while I turned toward Emily’s. It was shocking that Jessica was even up before seven in the morning. “I, uh – my dad is really stressed out. I just – “

“I know, I know,” she sighed. “She’s just been taking care of Ben. I think she needs us to be there for her, yanno?”

I wiped my eyes, holding the speaker away while I took a breath.

“I’ll let you know, Jess.”

“Okay,” she chirped. “Call me back!”

I hung up, trying to muffle my tears as I parked. Everyone was probably sick to death of my crying. And what would people think tomorrow, when I couldn’t keep it together at the funeral? I barely knew these boys. I was just the new girl.

My phone rang again. I almost ignored it, but it wasn’t Jessica again. It wasn’t any of my contacts – just a number. I answered, thinking it could be Rosalie. She was with Charlie again. He was up at that campground with the rangers today.

“Hello?”

“Bella? Bella?!”

“Dad?” I sat up stiffly.

“Hello, Bella Swan.”

It was a different voice now. A man’s. Deep and silky and dangerous.

“Who – “

“Don’t speak. Just say ‘Okay’.”

I swallowed, looking at Emily’s house.

“Don’t get out of your car,” he said slowly. “Don’t do anything at all. I don’t _need_ to hurt your father, so please just do exactly as I say.”

“Who is this?“

“I thought I told you not to _speak_.”

I broke into a cold sweat. No. No, this wasn’t what I thought it was.

“Very good, Bella,” he crooned after a short pause. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with your shapeshifter friends, haven’t you?”

My throat had locked in some sort of convulsion.

“You probably should have spent more time with your father. The sheriff’s station was _very_ easy to get into. _Say it_.”

“Okay,” I choked out. He chuckled.

“Don’t worry, Bella. I won’t do anything rash…not if you agree to come pay me a little visit. Now you can ask me where.”

It was hard to force air up my throat, to make a sound that wasn’t a scream. “Where?”

James made a noise of satisfaction. “It’s someplace you remember very well. Do you know the street in Port Angeles where you were almost attacked?”

Edythe was right to have worried. He was two steps ahead of us, the entire time.

“Yes,” I whispered.

“Excellent. Now, you’re going to come and see us. You’re going to come alone. Do you think you could do that? Answer yes or no.”

I thought of Alice. “No.”

He didn’t sound pleased anymore. “No, you _can’t_? Or no, you _won’t?”_

“I can’t.”

“Well, I suggest you get very creative. You have one hour. Oh, and Bella?”

“What.”

"You must know enough about me to realize how quickly I would know if you tried to bring anyone along with you. And how little time I would need to deal with your father if that was the case. Victoria is watching, so act accordingly.”

The line went dead. My joints were frozen – I couldn’t move my fingers to drop the phone. Port Angeles was an hour and ten minutes away. I was already late.

How could he have gotten past Rosalie? If she knew Charlie was gone, then surely everyone would be out looking.

Or… Or, she had gotten bored. Alice said it, didn’t she? That being immortal made you care about human life next to zilch. And Rosalie seemed to care the least about patrols and watches.

Oh, God, but that didn’t matter. My father was going to die and I was the reason. I wouldn’t survive that. My life wasn’t worth it. I shut my eyes, thinking of Edythe and Jacob. They loved me. It would destroy them, if I did this. But there was nothing I could think of to get around what I had to do. _Something_ …I pressed myself. _There has to be something. You can’t die without a fight._

But I did have to get to Port Angeles. Alone. This must have been what Alice had seen. There was no way she wasn’t watching. If I left now, left the pack, she would see it.

“Come on, come on…”

My eyes fell on a pen in the passenger seat.

I had to stay in the blind spot.

 

*************************************

 

I was trying to sleep over the sound of Emily’s vacuuming. It wasn’t going great. As tired as I was, I was still too keyed up over what had happened yesterday. We all were. Emily had to go up to the Makah reservation the following week to visit a sick relative. Sam would never let her go alone, so that was one person we’d lose from patrol.

And it didn’t look like Paul and I would get to have that ‘talk’ anytime soon, either. Every time I thought about the kiss, my brain seemed to slow to a crawl. I just couldn’t believe it had happened. And without seeing Paul and knowing it was real, I could almost convince myself it had been a dream.

The front door slammed open, and Emily cut the vacuum. I sat up, yawning. Bella looked terrible. Her eyes were red and puffy, and wide with fear.

“What happened?”

“Alice just called me,” she said quickly. I got to my feet. “S-she’s in the Park. She needs help. I think something’s wrong.”

“She didn’t say what it was?” Emily asked, scared.

“No.” Bella looked at me, eyes shining. “Something’s wrong, Jacob. I know it. Please just go find her.”

I looked between her and Emily, Alice’s warning ringing in my ears. “I can’t just leave you alone here.”

“Jake!”

“Just – “ I thought fast. This could be it. One of us had to be there to finish them off. “Okay. Okay. I’ll go. I’ll send someone back here. It’ll only be a few minutes.”

A tear rolled down Bella’s cheek. “I’ll be here.”

I made for the door, body vibrating.

“Jake!” Bella called. I turned. She pointed to the kitchen table. “I’ll be _right here_.”

It looked like she was trying to tell me something with her eyes, but I was too excited to understand. I just nodded to her and ran to phase.

 _Where is everyone?_ I asked hurriedly, taking off toward the park. They listed off their locations.

 _Something’s happening in the Park,_ I told them.  _I’m going there now. Sam, you’re closer, if you’d rather._

_How do you know?_

_Alice called Bella. She’s freaked._

_I can go,_ Paul offered.

Sam thought for a second. _Me and Jake will check it out,_ he decided _. The rest of you, stay on patrol and get Jared on – someone needs to be with Emily and Bella._

They all shuffled to fill in the gap in patrol. I sprinted to catch up to Sam’s head start. Excitement buzzed through the bond. Finally, something was happening. Jared phased in and went to sit in Emily’s back yard.

Sam found Alice’s trail at the edge of the park. It led straight to the center. I was right behind him, paying close attention. Edythe’s and Jasper’s scents were there, too, but that was it. It took a while to catch up to them. They all stopped when they heard us coming.

“What’s happening?” Jasper asked.

“No idea,” Alice muttered. “Everything just went dark.”

 _What did she just say?_ I thought to Sam. _No idea?!_

 _This isn’t right_. He stopped just ahead, across from the three of them.

“Is something wrong?” Alice asked. Edythe frowned, looking between us. I didn’t know a vampire could look so _sick_. Her eyes were black, and there were dark circles under them.

 _Bella said you needed us here,_ I thought. Very deliberately, Edythe shook her head. Sam and I looked at each other while she relayed the message.

“No,” Alice said slowly. “I didn’t.”

I played back the scene with Bella. Edythe shook her head jerkily.

“What  _exactly_ did she say?”

Jasper and Alice looked at each other. Yep, this was definitely wrong.

 _Guys,_ Jared thought suddenly. He sent through a picture of Emily running out to him.

The hair on Sam’s back stood on end. _Is she okay?_

There was a pause. Edythe translated for Alice and Jasper in a hard voice.

 _Bella isn’t here_ , Jared thought in shock _. Emily says she ran out to her car and took off right when Jacob left._

There was an explosion of talking in the pack mind, and total silence in the trees.

“Bella’s gone,” Edythe whispered. Jasper put a hand on her shoulder. She shook it off roughly and turned to Alice.

“You saw it again, didn’t you? _Didn’t you?”_

“You left her _alone_?” Alice shrieked at me. “What did I tell you!”

 _What’s she talking about, Jacob?_ Sam asked. _Jared, stay with Emily._

A howl ripped through me. _Alice is right. This is my fault._

“Where is she? _Where did she go_?” Edythe yelled, towering over the tiny girl. “Can you see her?”

Alice shook her head in mute distress.

 _It’s been less than ten minutes,_ I thought to Edythe. _She can’t have gone far._

“Alice!” Edythe snapped. “Try harder!”

“It doesn’t _work_ that way!” Alice wailed. “She must be with a wolf!”

 _She isn’t,_ Sam thought. Everyone was getting antsy in confusion.

“She used them,” Jasper said, looking at me. “She sent them here to blind Alice.”

“No,” Edythe moaned. “No, no, no.”

 _Maybe she just went for some milk?_ Embry thought weakly.

 _Shut up, Em,_ Paul said.

But seriously, where the fuck could she be going? If she left in her car, then obviously she was okay, and  _wanted_ to leave. But she’d told me she would stay…

Edythe’s head snapped up. “She _pointed_?”

I nodded.

“Tell Jared to go inside. Look around.”

 _Is she serious_? Jared thought apprehensively.

“Just do it!”

Sam blew air through his nose. _Do it, Jared._

He phased out, leaving a painful quiet. Edythe didn’t move a muscle. Alice screwed her eyes shut, fingers on her temples. Jasper hovered between them, eyes on Edythe.

“I think you’re right,” Edythe whispered. I didn’t know who she was talking to until Jasper gasped.

“I’ll have no reason to,” she said.

“Rosalie says her father hasn’t talked to Bella,” he said a second later, looking at his phone.

The wolf bond was thick with tension. No one had much to say as we waited on Jared.

 _She was right,_ he thought as he phased in. Edythe closed her eyes. _There’s a note._

 _What’s it say?_ Sam asked tersely.

 _There’s a phone number_ , he thought, picturing it.

“It’s mine,” Edythe said quietly. “What else?”

He showed us his memory of the other side of the torn scrap of paper. It was Bella’s handwriting.

_Port Angeles. Alice knows the place._

           

 

*********************

 

I didn’t let myself think about what was probably happening back home, or what would happen when I got to Port Angeles. Pushing my car as hard as I could kept me going at almost eighty down the highway. At least I wouldn’t get stopped by the police.

The closer I got to the city, the less scared I was. Part of me had expected them to catch up, to stop me before I got two miles down the road. Now it didn’t look like that would happen. My plan had worked. I was doing this.

No police pulled me over in Port Angeles, either, even as I raced through the narrow streets. It was still too early for people to be out and about. Every side street looked the same, and I started to panic. I was out of time. Every second counted. It wasn’t until I saw the Forks police cruiser that I slammed on my brakes.

It was parked in front of an empty storefront. A dilapidated, faded sticker was stuck to the window. _Sound Fly Fishing._ I cut the engine, allowing myself three deep breaths. I did it. I made it. _Just Charlie_ , I prayed to whoever was listening. _Just let them save Charlie._

My legs shook as I got out of Thing for maybe the last time. I let my hand trail over the round cab. This was definitely the place. I could almost see the men closing in on either side. The headlights of Alice’s car as it squealed across the pavement. But there were no men, and there was no car. I was alone in this.

The glass door was nearly opaque with dirt and dust. It creaked as I pulled it open, broken lock swinging against the handle. A swell of dust and fish-scented air blew past me, the brief outdoor light illuminating a large, empty, and very dirty room. Some clothing racks sat against the walls, and behind the counter were two hallways. When the door shut, it was very dark. He had picked a good spot, I had to give him that.

“I’m here,” I said with a voice that sounded scared.

"I didn’t think you had it in you, Miss Swan,” a voice drawled, accompanying  a small movement of air behind me. I pivoted, and there he was. Between me and the door.

His eyes were black. As dark as the legends said. Long blonde hair pulled into a ponytail at the base of his neck. Like all vampires, there was something startling in his appearance. A cold beauty.

I squared my shoulders. “Where is he?”

James  _tsked_ me, shaking his head and smiling. Like we were old friends, meeting up for lunch. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

He strolled toward me. I held still out of fear, my traitorous heart pounding. He trailed his fingers down my cheek, through my hair. I pulled my face away.

“What is it about you…You smell good, obviously. But you’re still just _human_. Hm.”

I turned, keeping my eyes on him as he meandered off behind me.

“Your friends are very interesting. Playing human. Playing _doctor._ ” He rolled his shoulders like he was stretching. “They won’t be happy.”

My heart lurched again. How could he talk about my death so casually?

“So juvenile, all that searching for me. Ironic.”

“H-how is it ironic?”

James trailed a long finger through the dust on the countertop. “I knew you would come, for your father.”

Charlie. Was he back there, in one of those rooms? Unconscious, or already dead?

“I sometimes get a hunch, when it comes to those I hunt. A sixth sense. It was too easy to get through their defenses. I became sort of…bored. I figured, why not make it a little more interesting? Make _you_ come to _me._ Fear tastes _so_ much better once it’s settled in.”

He looked over at me, very slowly. It sent chills down my back. My brain started to throw things at me, in a weak attempt to distract itself. Jacob’s laugh, Edythe’s sweet smell. The way Angela spoke softly, and was never angry. Once, when I was young, Renée had run over a squirrel with her car. I cried all night, heart heavy for the poor animal. It never occurred to me that the squirrel hadn’t seen it coming. There had been no fear.

“Are you very scared now?”

I nodded. He chuckled.

“That’s good.” He smiled wider as something occurred to him. “It’s the girl, isn’t it? Who will come after me?”

“Probably.” My heart had broken when I lied to Jacob. It tore itself into smaller pieces now, thinking of Edythe. He grinned at me, and I wondered if he could hear it. The tearing.

“I would like to rub it in, just a little bit. If you don’t mind. I mean, the answer was there all along. I waited for Alice to catch it, and ruin all my fun. It was quite a while ago, now. Ninety years?” He tapped his chin. “The only time my prey ever escaped.”

Bemusement clouded my fear. “You know Alice?”

He tilted his head, looking off into the past. “That vampire, who was so fond of her, made the choice that _your_ friends were too stupid to make. When the old one knew I was after his little…project, he stole her from the asylum where he worked – I _never_ will understand the obsession some of us seem to form with you – and as soon as he freed her, he made her safe. She’d been stuck in that black hole of a cell for so long, she hardly even noticed the pain.”

His teeth glinted white as he smiled at my confusion.

“Oh, yes. A hundred years earlier and she would have been burned at the stake for her visions. As it was, they just threw her in the loony bin for shock treatments. By the time I found them, she was almost finished turning. There was no reason for me to touch her then.” He sighed. “I destroyed the old one in vengeance.”

“You hunted her,” I breathed, astonished.

“That’s why I picked this place,” he gestured around us. “This is where I caught your scent. Imagine my surprise when Alice swooped in to save you.  I _was_ surprised to see her with the human-lovers. But I guess they’ll never know how fair this trade really was. I get you, and they get her. The one victim who escaped me. Quite an honor.”

He came closer, and his eyes looked even darker than before. Light disappeared in them. “And she did smell so delicious. Even better than you do, no offense. You have a _very_ nice smell.”

He closed the last few feet in a blur. I cried out in pain and nearly fell as he jerked my hair back. This had been a mistake. They weren’t going to get to me in time.

“Where’s Charlie?” I gasped. He released my hair taking my wrist and drawing it to his nose. I heard his teeth breaking my skin before I felt it, and then I _did_ feel it. It hurt. Very, very badly. I sucked in a shocked breath, and he released me.

“I really was so glad you came, Bella.” He watched me stumble back with blood dripping from his white teeth. I didn’t look at my hand. It was oddly numb. “Without even stopping to see if he was still at work. I imagine that’s where he is right now.”

“You’re lying! I heard him!”

He waved a cell phone through the air. I squinted, seeing Renée’s Facebook profile.

“The marvels of modern technology,” he said derisively, tossing the phone to the side. It cracked against the wall and fell in a heap of glass. “Won’t be needing that anymore.”

My breath left me. Charlie was never here. I would never even _see_ him again. I had to accept that now. We would never sit down and do my college applications. I wouldn’t see Renée, or Phil. How would she cope with my death? What would it do to Charlie when I was another victim of an animal he would never catch? And Jacob would take it personally. This would kill him. Edythe…I wouldn’t even get one last look to take with me to death. I couldn’t say goodbye to either of them. Jess, Angela, Eric, Mike, Ben, Alice, Emmett – I wasn’t ready. I had given myself up, undid everything. For nothing

The hunter watched me drown in all of it, a delighted smile on his bloody face.

“They’ll come after you,” I threatened. “They’re already on their way. I left a note.”

He shrugged. That wasn’t good enough. I had to keep him talking. I didn’t want to die.

“You can’t win against all of them. You’ll die.”

“Not before you do,” he laughed.

Then he threw me against the wall.

I felt weightless for a second. A clothing rack buckled against my back and then my head smashed against the floor. Drywall cracked and rained dust all around me. I gasped, and the particles flooded into my lungs, choking me. Pain exploded through the arm he hadn’t bitten.

“Probably should have recorded this,” he muttered, frowning. “For your girlfriend to see. Shame.”

I looked up in terror as he stepped on my leg. There was a sickening snap, and a harrowing scream. With a shock, I realized it was me.

It hurt so bad. I had wasted all my breath on the scream, and now had to go through the laborious process of taking in more air. It just made me cough.

Then there was a sound that got both of our attentions. Like falling rock. It came from one of the back rooms. I couldn’t move my head to look, from the pain and because my vision was starting to swim.

The hunter turned away from me, and all hell broke loose.

 

*************************

 

The glass windows shattered easily against my weight, and my fur was thick enough to protect me from the shards. Edythe had gone around the back, but I didn’t immediately see her. I registered the hunter, and a slumped figure in the corner. Bella. Her heart was beating, but I smelled blood. His face was smeared with it.

Edythe appeared behind him, which confused him just long enough for me to sink my teeth into his midsection. He let out a guttural scream, hands locking around my throat. I shook my head to the side, and there was an incredibly loud screeching sound. From the corner of my eyes I saw Edythe toss his arm to the opposite wall, a sick grin on her face.

Sam communicated that he was in the back alley. There wasn’t room enough for the both of us in the tiny room. The rest of the pack cheered me on through the bond, and I was viciously glad to be the one tearing this asshole to pieces.

Edythe was right there with me, darting in the spaces between my attacks. She shouldn’t have been, because it wasn’t exactly easy for me to tell them apart right then, but I guessed the mind reading helped her a little.

She got the other arm, I got a leg. Tearing at him was like biting metal and made my teeth vibrate like tuning forks, but it was effective as hell. He screamed the whole time.

“All you,” Edythe said quietly, darting out of range. I dropped him to the floor, getting one last look at the sick fuck’s eyes before ripping his head off. It smacked into the wall, and there was silence. Everyone in the bond yelled their delight, howling into the woods at the edge of the rez and probably scaring the shit out of everyone there. Paul was the loudest.

 _Fucking finally,_ I thought. Edythe stared at the body with an empty expression. Couldn’t she enjoy this a _little_?

“No time,” she muttered. “Sam! Alice!”

Sam phased out just before I did. Alice hopped through the broken window, through which I could see that cop car with the trunk popped.

“Gasoline in the trunk. He must have been planning on burning the place down.”

“Pour it,” Edythe commanded, bending down over the body. “Jacob, get her out of here.”

I turned to Bella, victory falling through a pit in my stomach. There was blood on her arms, and her leg was at an odd angle. Her hair and skin was covered in white dust, but her eyes opened as I crouched down next to her.

“J-Jake – “

“Shh, sweetie,” I whispered, trying to be gentle as I picked her up. I wrapped one arm under her shoulders and one under her knees. She jerked and gasped and started coughing. Definitely a broken leg. I looked at the Bella-shaped hole in the wall behind her. Maybe more. “It’s gonna be okay.”

She cradled her arm against her chest as I walked toward the back. Alice darted around with the jug of gasoline while Edythe did something to the body parts that made more screeching noises.

She hadn’t made the neatest of holes through the back wall. Sam was trying to break out some more of the bricks so I could get Bella through.

"Is she okay?”

“I think so,” I passed her over to him through the small opening. “Watch her leg.”

“Charlie,” she said, suddenly very lucid. She gripped Sam’s shoulder. “Where’s Charlie?”

I stepped into the brick alley, looking around. This part of town was abandoned, but I knew for a fact those people on the highway saw us crossing. Maybe even got us on camera.

“He’s at work,” Alice answered, tossing the empty jug inside the building. “I can hear the police. We have to go.”

There was a huge _whoosh_. We all moved against the far wall as a well of heat hit us. Inside, I saw red flames. There was an explosion and shattering glass and then the flames turned purple. The smell was unbelievable.

Edythe was already next to me, staring into the flames with a satisfied almost-smile. Alice took her elbow.

“We’ll have to wing it,” Edythe said, to a silent question. “Is her car here?”

Alice nodded. “Keys in the ignition.”

“Jacob,” Edythe inclined her head to me, still staring into the flames. “Take Bella’s car and drive it back to Forks.”

“What? No, I’m not leaving!”

“Sam,” she said without missing a beat. “We can’t let the police find her car here.”

Sam looked nauseous. The smoke was getting thicker. “How do we explain what happened?”

“We don’t. We stage an accident. Trust me – we don’t have much time.”

The police sirens were close enough for me to hear. I shot Sam a pleading glance, and saw the resolve form in his eyes. He nodded, handing Bella back over to me. Her eyes were open, but she wasn’t saying anything.

Sam clutched my fingers for a second before jogging off down the alley. Edythe and Alice were staring at each other in silence.

“Hey, snap out of it,” I said. “We need a hospital.”

Edythe didn’t turn around. “Is she okay?”

I looked at Bella. “I think her leg is broken.”

“Anything else?”

Alarm coursed through me. Bella’s eyes were open, but vacant, not focusing on anything.

“Bella?!” I shook her a little. “Bella!”

Edythe finally turned around, eyes wide, as Bella contorted. It was so sudden and unexpected that I nearly dropped her.

“Put her down,” Edythe said suddenly.

I didn’t have a better idea, so I crouched and tried to set her on the concrete as gently as possible. She fell still, breathing shallow breaths. Maybe I had jostled her leg or something.

“Olympic Medical isn’t far,” Alice panicked, cradling Bella’s head. I ran my hands over her body, checking for a break or another injury or _anything_. Edythe’s eyes were wide.

“My hand,” Bella breathed, eyes closing. I looked over her carefully, pushing back my own fear. Had she hit her head too hard? It was horrifically obvious now that Bella wasn’t going to heal on her own. That she was just human.

Alice and Edythe whispered to each other over my head. Bella’s eyes blinked and landed on me. “My…hand…” she murmured.

I realized too late what was strange – the hand she cradled against her chest wasn’t the one dripping blood.

 _“My hand_ ,” she screamed raggedly, startling me. Her body spasmed again, twisting like a possessed person. The broken leg jerked against the pavement like she wasn’t aware of the pain of it. “ _My hand is burning!_ ”

Edythe and Alice seemed frozen in shock. They weren’t doing anything useful, so I wrenched Bella’s arm back from her chest. She screamed louder.

“Stop, Jacob! _Stop_!” She sobbed. “Please!”

There was a sharp pain in my hand as Edythe slapped it away, falling to her knees next to me. I think she broke maybe all of my bones, but I could handle it. Edythe inhaled deeply.

“Venom.”

“He  _bit_ her?” Alice said incredulously.

“No. No fucking way,” I argued. Edythe pulled at Bella’s arm, flinching as we were met with a new barrage of screams. There was blood smudged around her wrist, but it wasn’t actually bleeding. The wound was clean enough for us to all see the perfect bite mark.

Bella dragged in a breath and sobbed.

“She’s dying,” I said, looking around. No one moved a muscle. Edythe stared at the bite in disbelief.

“Edythe,” Alice whispered. “I’ve already seen it.”

“ _No_.” Edythe said lowly.

“What else is there?”

“She’s  _dying_ ,” I repeated. “How long – how do we – “

“Not dying.” Alice looked almost excited. “Changing.”

“No,” Edythe whispered. “Not like this.”

Alice pursed her lips. “Then you’ll have to suck the venom out.”

“Will that work?” I looked at Edythe. Her eyes were as dark as the tracker’s had been. “I’ll do it.”

I tried to take Bella’s hand from Edythe, but Alice slapped her tiny hand over Bella’s wrist.

“No. The venom could kill you.”

“Then _you_ do it,” I said, looking at her gold eyes. She looked surprised.

“I…” her eyes darted to Bella’s other arm. The one that had been bleeding before, and scraping against the concrete as Bella seized. It had opened up, letting blood pour out over the concrete.

“Stop fucking _breathing_ , then!” Edythe yelled at her. Alice clapped a hand over her nose and mouth. The heat was increasing, the smoke a pillar in the sky. The sirens were getting closer.

“It has to be me,” Edythe said.

“Are you insane? You’ll kill her!”

“There’s no time,” she said tonelessly. “I have to.”

Bella’s screams were starting to sound painful. Her back arched. Alice wasn’t breathing anymore. She ripped a long shred of fabric from her shirt and tied it above the gash on Bella’s arm.

“Make it stop! Please!” Bella cried out.

“If I kill her,” Edythe said, voice thick with despair, “You’ll have the pleasure of ending my life. If I do nothing, she _will_ turn.”

Every instinct in me told me to keep her as far away from Bella’s blood as possible. But I nodded. There wasn’t time for me to think it over – the police would be here any second. Edythe hesitated when Bella screamed again. This time she screamed Edythe’s name.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, stroking Bella’s cheek. Bella’s eyes rolled, sightless. It was the scariest thing I’d ever seen. “I love you. I’m sorry.”

With a deep breath, she lowered her mouth to the bite.

Bella screamed again, so hard that her voice gave out. There was a just a horrible, hoarse sound coming from her throat. Edythe’s hand shot out, wrapping around my forearm in warning or support. I had no idea what to do, so I leaned across to pin Bella’s tourniquet-ed arm to the ground so she didn’t move it too much.

I started to panic when her eyes fluttered shut. The writhing calmed down and she started to breath slower. The police couldn’t be more than a block away now. “Edythe. Stop.”

I thought she was ignoring me, and prepared for a fight. But, with a monumental gasp, she dropped Bella’s arm and pulled on mine. I yanked her back, holding her away from Bella’s body.

“I did it,” she said in disbelief. She wiped at the blood around her mouth.

I dropped my hold on her. “Bella, wake up!”

Her eyes opened sluggishly, finding our faces and sticking. Thank God. She looked between all of us, stopping with her head tilted up to stare at Alice.

“He knew you,” she croaked. “He knew…”

She passed out mid-sentence, head lolling to the side. Alice frowned.

“Hospital,” I reminded them. “Now.”

“We have to get her to Carlisle. Alice, call him.”

I made to pick Bella up, but Edythe put a hand on mine.

“I’ll carry her. We need a distraction.”

Tires screeched behind us, on the other side of the store. They were here. Did Edythe want me to…?

“Yes,” she breathed. I took one last look at Bella.

“You owe me one.”


	14. The least sexy shower of all time

I opened my eyes to a bright white light. So white I thought maybe I was dead. It would make a certain amount of sense, after everything. I wasn’t even sad about it. The pain had stopped, and that was all that mattered.

_“Port Angeles East commuters had a shock this morning as what witnesses called a pack of wild wolves ran straight through – “_

“Can you believe that? Wolves. They just aren’t supposed to get that big.”

“At least they’ve moved North,” said a different voice than the first. Something about this voice was extremely appealing to me. I turned my head. It felt detached from my body. Not painful, but numb. Like the pain was only being held at bay. Things faded into focus as I blinked, looking for the source of the voice.

A girl with dark red hair, so beautiful she could only exist in my imagination. Or heaven. Maybe that’s where I was.

“She’s awake,” the girl said, looking at me. The television shut off, and the other person in the room sat on the edge of the bed, blocking her from my sight. I focused my eyes on them with some difficulty, unwilling to look away from the angel.

“Dad?”

Charlie clutched my hand with both of his, jostling the needle stuck into my inner elbow. The sensation knocked something loose in my head. I was alive. He was alive. This was real. Emotions hit me too fast for my heavy head to handle. I just started to cry. The monotone beeping from the machine sped up.

“No, no, none of that,” he said, pushing hair out of my face. “Does it hurt? Should I call a nurse?”

“I’m sorry.” I sat up and threw my arms around him. Well, one arm. It stung under the bandages. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’ve been so worried,” he said, voice thick. “When Carlisle called me, I thought you had - that maybe it was another attack. “

“I didn’t know…” I opened my eyes, finding Edythe again. Even though I knew I was awake, now, her beauty didn’t seem real. It never would. She smiled a little, but something wasn’t all right with it.

“Didn’t know what?” Charlie set me back on the pillow, and I realized my mistake. It didn’t make sense for me to apologize. He didn’t know what had happened.

“H-how I got here,” I covered, resolutely not looking at my body. The numbness was starting to fade. My voice was hoarse and scratched at the inside of my dry throat.

Charlie took a breath, looking at me strangely. “You swerved around a deer. Ran straight into a tree. Bells, I swore I wouldn’t say this now, but why the _hell_ weren’t you wearing a seatbelt?”

“I saw it happen.” Edythe walked to the end of my hospital bed. She looked concerned in a way I knew to be deliberate. Her brows drew together, and she had her arms crossed tightly. Her hair was brushed out, now. Her clothes didn’t have my blood all over them. “You went through the windshield.”

Charlie nodded. “You’re lucky she was there. You could have bled out on the side of the road.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. She paced back toward the television.

Charlie sat with me for a while, lecturing me on the importance of seat belt safety. I held his hand, knowing this was the only way he knew to take care of me. His phone started to ring in his pocket.

“That’ll be your mother.” He let go of my hand with a sigh.

 “You told her already?”

He stood up. “You’ve been here all day. I had to tell her.”

All day? I looked at the window with some difficulty. It was dark outside. “Oh.”

“I’ll be right back.” He said, patting my arm.

The moment he couldn’t see, Edythe dropped into what I knew was genuine worry. Her face smoothed over completely, save for her eyes. She stopped pacing and just stared at me. I wanted to rub the tears from my face, but it made me sick to look at or think about the needles in my arm.

“How bad is it?” I asked, just to break the silence.

“You have a broken leg,” she said quietly. “Twenty stitches in your arm. Two blood transfusions. Probably concussed.”

I looked at my arm. My wrist was covered by a brace. The burning pain was gone, now, replaced by a mundane sort of ache. But I didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.

“I’m not… like you, am I?”

Her shoulders fell, and she walked at a human pace to take Charlie’s spot. Something in my woozy brain was happy about that. Her fingers brushed the tears from my cheeks, soothingly cool. I sighed.

“You wouldn’t exactly have broken bones if you were like me, would you?”

“I guess not.”

She took the brace off quickly, exposing what had been the source of all the pain. A perfect bite mark. It looked aged already, like an old scar. I couldn’t believe that – I felt like my skin should be black and charred, not completely unblemished.

“It was a close thing, though.” She moved her thumb gently across the mark. “Do you remember?”

I nodded. It was all coming back, whether I wanted it to or not. “Where’s Jacob?”

“He stayed, for a while, but something is happening with the tribe council.”

“What is it?”

She was still staring down at the scar. I wanted to hide it from her. It felt wrong, ugly.

“I’m not sure I should say. He didn’t tell me on purpose.” She glanced up with a smirk. “Charlie’s kind of put out with him. He doesn’t see why your boyfriend wouldn’t want to be with you right now. I didn’t even read his mind – he told me."

I groaned. “I’ve told him a _thousand_ times.”

“He really doesn’t believe you,” she smiled. It didn’t reach her eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” I said, knowing it wasn’t enough. “I never should have left. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. Especially not you.”

“No one blames you. He was smart.”

I shook my head. “I don’t deserve to get off so easy.”

She scoffed, eyes dark. “Look at yourself. You didn’t ‘get off easy’, Bella. You almost died.”

“Would I have died?” I whispered, looking at the scar. “Or would I have turned?”

“There is _effectively_ no difference,” she hissed, pressing very lightly over the pulse in my wrist. Her voice was harsh and clipped. “Your heart wouldn’t be beating now. There would be no life in your veins. No warmth.”

I looked away, tears dripping from my chin. What she was saying hurt, though I couldn’t put words to the feeling. After a second of tense silence, she sighed impatiently and pulled my face – gently – to look at her.

“Why are you crying? Are you in pain?”

All the anger seemed to have faded completely, and she was quiet and attentive once more. I shook my head. She started wiping the tears away, then leaned in one swift movement to press her lips to mine. It was hardly more than a brush, but everything in my brain ground to a screeching halt.

The heart monitor lurched. She pulled back with an unreadable expression, and that was when I realized what was different.

“Your eyes are purple,” I whispered. I had never seen them this color. It was always a spectrum ranging from bright gold to black. This was a dark, cool brownish _purple_.

She grimaced and looked away. “Contacts.”

“Why would you need – ?“

“Just know,” she started re-fixing the brace to my wrist, so fast I couldn’t follow the movements. “That I had no part in it.”

“In what?”

She sat down in one of the chairs against the wall. “You’re about to find out.”

The door opened, admitting Charlie and Carlisle. The doctor – eyes a normal golden-brown – smiled brightly at me.

“Nice to see you awake, Bella.” He clicked a little light on and shone it in my eyes while Charlie stood anxiously on the other side of the bed. I squinted against it. “Any dizziness? Nausea?”

I felt very dizzy, actually, after Edythe sprung our first kiss on me like that, but I didn’t think that was he was asking.

"No.”

“Good, good.” He murmured, feeling along my scalp. “Any head pain?”

“Just my leg.” I glanced down at the bulky cast under the blanket.

“I thought we would have to worry about a concussion, but you seem alright…” He made a note on a chart. “Back pain or shortness of breath?”

“No.”

He made another note. I looked at Charlie, confused.

“Didn’t Mom want to talk to me?”

“Oh. Well…” he shifted uncomfortably. “You’ll be seeing her soon enough.”

I raised my eyebrows. “ _Seeing_ her?”

“She just got off her flight.”

 The heart monitor started to fly, and Carlisle shot me a concerned look. Edythe braced her hands on the armrest of her chair. _Not in danger,_ I told myself to quell the reaction. The danger was gone, burned to ash. Renée would be fine here.

“S-she’s in Seattle?” At Charlie’s nod, I took a very deep breath. The monitor slowed a little. “She got a ticket from Florida to Washington in _one day_?”

“You know your mother,” he said, shrugging helplessly. I frowned.

“Alice has gone to pick her up,” Edythe said meaningfully. I brushed aside the thought that of _course_ Alice had a part of this, because something very, very important dredged itself up from my mind. Whatever crossed my face made Charlie look worried. I cleared my throat painfully.

“Where will she sleep?” Surely she wasn’t planning on sleeping at _Charlie’s._ That was too weird, for a lot of reasons.

“I haven’t really had time to – maybe a hotel?”

“There aren’t any hotels in town,” I reminded him.

“Actually, Chief Swan.” Edythe sat forward. “We have an extra room at our house. Bella’s mom is welcome to stay there.”

I shook my head, but she didn’t look at me.

“We’d love to have her,” Carlisle added. I bit the inside of my cheek.

A lot of emotions pass over Charlie’s face. Edythe watched him closely, but I didn’t need to read minds to know exactly what he was thinking. He and Renée hadn’t actually seen each other in years, and he was terrified.

“It’s no trouble at all.” Edythe said. “Esme recently redesigned the guest room.”

Charlie looked conflicted. “I’ll let Renée decide. It’s nice of you, though.”

“When can I go home?” I asked Carlisle. I desperately needed to shower and find clean clothes. I was in a hospital gown, with just my underwear and dirty socks on as far as I could tell. My hair had dry bits of god-knew-what all in it. I could smell myself, and knowing Edythe’s sense of smell was so much better than mine didn’t help. I didn’t want her close to me until I was clean again.

“Well, I’d like you to stay overnight. Just for observation – “

“Really, I’m okay,” I said. It was true. The fogginess was fading, and everything was sore and stinging. I just wanted the needles out of me. “You said I wasn’t concussed.”

Charlie gave me a stern look for my rudeness. I pressed my lips together.

“Maybe Bella could stay with us, too,” Edythe said. “Just for the night. Would that count as observation?”

Carlisle looked genuinely surprised. “I…that works for me.”

“Okay,” I said. Whatever got me out of here the fastest.

“You want to stay there…with your mother?” Charlie said, like he couldn’t imagine why anyone would want such a thing.

“I’d hate for her to be there alone.” Talking, saying embarrassing things with no one to stop her. It was going to be a long night.

 

*********************

 

“What’s to think about?” Sam kept pace with me as I nearly jogged away from the council center. I just wanted to get as far away as possible. “It’s an amazing offer.”

 “I know.”

“You’d get Harry’s spot right away – “

“I  _know_.”

“You turn eighteen next month, so – “

“I know!” I said loudly. He punched me in the arm.

“Come on, Jake. Spit it out.”

The moon appeared from behind the cloud cover, momentarily lighting the dead grass in front of us. I didn’t even know where to start.

“It’s not like I _need_ to be on the council. They have you.”

“Yeah, sure. But it’s money, Jake.”

“It’s money. But I’ll get the job eventually, right?” Killing one vampire was enough to make me the town hero. I was officially, _literally_ , a legend. I could take the job, get my honorary high school diploma – a _year_ early – and get paid to run around as a big wolf. I could get my own place… fuck, I could _build_ my own place. Even if I would have to work with Billy, I would have a bed to sleep in again.

“I’m not ready. And you heard what Edythe said. She doesn’t even think the redhead will come back here.”

No, she thought that the vamp – Victoria – would go after her instead, if at all. For revenge.

“All true. But the council doesn’t know any of that.”

“Yeah,” I yawned. “I can’t think about it anymore today. I’m shot. No pun intended.”

He groaned at my bad joke, and we walked in silence for a few steps.

“Why did you go to college?”

He looked surprised. “Um. Well, it seemed right at the time. I thought I might own a business or something one day, and I wanted a degree.”

“But you got the council seat. So it was a waste of time.”

“No,” he said firmly. “I’m glad I went. It was nice to get away, just for a while. Get a different type of education. Besides, if I’d done anything differently, I probably wouldn’t have Emily.”

“So you want to stay here,” I pushed. “Forever.”

He looked over sharply. “This is what I’m supposed to do. It’s what I _want_ to do.”

I snorted.

“Hey,” he pushed my shoulder. “You killed _one_ vampire. Doesn’t mean you know everything.”

I stopped walking. “I’m serious.”

He looked impatient. “What are you getting at?”

 I sighed, wishing I wasn’t so insecure. But it had been gnawing at me for days, now, and now seemed like the best time to bring it up. “You don’t think I’m a… coward? For not taking over?”

Sam blinked. “Is that what you’ve been thinking?”

I started walking again.

“You’re  _seventeen_ , Jake. I never expected you to ‘take over’. And I’m not waiting for you to.”

I let myself be relieved about that. A weight lifted off of my shoulders.

“I take it you’re thinking about college?’

“No,” I said quickly. “Yes. Maybe.”

“Well, I think it’s a good idea. Maybe you can talk to Paul about it.”

I almost tripped. “What? Why?”

Sam shrugged. “I told him not to drop out. He seems kind of depressed, lately, too. I don’t know. Maybe he’ll listen to you and go back.”

I blew out a breath. “Yeah. Maybe.”

“I’ll put in a good word with the council no matter what you decide.” We stopped where the road forked. “Looks like we have some downtime, so take your time. Think about it.”

 “I will.”

“’Night, man. Don’t do anything too crazy.”

“Not really my decision,” I called over my shoulder. “Goodnight.”

Honestly, I didn’t feel much like partying. I knew the guys wanted to celebrate – I was terrified to see what they had done to my garage – but I was too worried about Bella to relax. I kept seeing her thrashing limbs and sightless eyes. I was about to just phase and run back to the hospital when my phone rang.

“Is she awake?” I asked, picking up immediately.

“Yeah, I am,” said a hoarse voice that definitely didn’t belong to Edythe. I could have keeled over in relief.

“Bella! How long have you been up? I was just about to come over there.”

“I’m already home. And you probably shouldn’t. I’m just showering and then I have to go meet my mom.”

“Your mom is here?”

She sighed. “Yes.”

“Is that gonna be weird? Like, with Charlie?”

“Time will tell, I guess. I just wanted you to know I’m okay. Are you okay?”

I put my hand over the bandage on my stomach. “I’m all good. The guys will be happy to hear you woke up.”

“I hope you can all get some sleep, finally.”

I fucking wished. I would be up all night, if they had any say about it. “You, too.”

“Will I see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” I said sadly. “Of course.”     

“Good,” she breathed. “Good. I’ll let you go.”

“Alright. Good night, Bella”

“Good night.”

I hung up, feeling better. She was gonna be okay. Which meant I should have felt free to go get as drunk as possible. I stopped in front of my house. Looked to my right, then my left. At my entire life, my whole _world_ , gathered around three barely-paved roads.

I tossed my phone up in the air and caught it, twirling it around in my fingers for a few moments. Then, before I could talk myself out of it, I turned around and sprinted back to the council building.

 

*************************

 

“Thanks,” I said, handing Edythe her phone. Apparently, Emmett had mine. He was the last person in my car, which also meant he was to blame for the crumpled remains of it that had been towed to Charlie’s driveway. I tried not to think about that – I was close to a breaking point, and I just wanted to shower. Everything hurt like hell and I smelled like sweat and dried blood and general grime. “You should go. You need to tell Alice what I – “

“It can wait.” She sat down next to me on my bed. “She’ll see it, anyway.”

“No, really,” I said, drawing back. She looked hurt. “I – I have to take a shower and pack a bag.”

“So I heard. You can’t get your cast wet.”

“I don’t care.” I shrugged Charlie’s coat off and got up on my good foot, hopping toward my closet.

“You’re going to hurt yourself. Just let me – “

I put my hand out, stopping her movement toward me. This time she _really_ looked hurt, and I realized I needed to explain myself better.

“I, um, want you to… but I feel really gross right now, and I hate hospitals, and it feels like a hamster has been living in my mouth and I _know_ you can smell all of it and I really can’t handle that right now. So can you just let me shower and brush my teeth before we….?”

I made a complicated gesture with my hand. Her face cleared a little.

“At least let me help you.”

“No.”

“Then let your father – “

“Absolutely not,” I laughed.

Her face went blank, and I knew I was really testing her patience. Hands flew out to grip my shoulders and keep me from pulling back.

“If you get hurt any more today, even through your own stubbornness, I will lose my mind. _Please_ let me help.”

I took a breath, and of course I couldn’t say no. Well, I could, but I knew she was right. Showering on one foot didn’t sound very safe. Especially for someone like me.

"You’ll have to keep your eyes shut.”

She nodded. “Of course.”

“I – “ I swallowed down a flash of nerves, needing her to understand. “I just don’t want this to be the first time you see me naked.”

Her mouth opened, then closed, and she nodded again, letting go of my shoulders. With that settled, I turned back to the closet. Before I could reach my hand out to grab a sweatshirt, she had it folded in her hands, along with clean underwear and shorts. I hadn’t even heard the dresser drawers open.

“Is this okay? I don’t think you could get any pants over the cast.”

“It’s fine.” I took the pile from her and started for the door.

“I can carry you,” she said, like she couldn’t help herself.

“Charlie needs to hear me hop,” I whispered, creaking the door open. He wouldn't care that Edythe was here, helping me, but he might have a few questions about how she got here without a car.

She followed me into the bathroom, where I caught my own reflection.

“Close them,” I whispered, waving to her face in panic. She obeyed, frowning.

I looked at the mirror in horror. There was a huge bruise on my cheekbone, and it was swollen. My hair was matted with blood and what looked like dust. From the wall I’d crashed into, I assumed.

“Oh, God.”

“What is it?”

I started with trying to untie the gown. Reaching back pulled at the stitches in my arm. I hissed in pain, trying the other one. The brace made it impossible to grip anything. I almost knocked myself to the ground with the effort.

“Bella,” Edythe said, less patiently.

“I can’t take this thing off,” I said, giving up. Eyes still closed, Edythe stepped forward and reached out to my collar. With a quiet tearing sound, the fabric split completely down the middle, hanging open like a cardigan. It fell to the ground with a whisper.

She turned to start the water, leaving me with my mouth hanging open. Shaking away the shock, I looked down at my underwear. There was no way for me to bend my knee to get them off. I looked around frantically.

“What are you looking for?”

“Are you peeking?”

“I can hear your hair moving,” she said gently.

“I just need scissors or something to cut these off because I – “

She walked over and slid her pointer fingers down my sides, hooking them around the elastic of my underwear and shredding the fabric with the slightest twitch of her fingers. Very politely, she didn’t acknowledge my pounding heart.

“Thanks,” I breathed, blushing furiously as I unclasped the front of my bra and let it fall. “I’m ready.”

“You’ll have to keep your leg out,” she said. “And the stitches. But they’re on the same side. Shouldn’t be too hard…this can come off.”

She trailed her fingers over my shoulder to my wrist, finding and undoing the brace. She set it on the sink, knowing exactly where it was without looking.

“May I?”

She was very careful about how she touched me, probably to try and make me feel more at ease. I ended up standing on my right leg in the shower while she kept my cast away with one hand under my thigh and the shower curtain wrapped around it. Getting into that position took a while, as she kept asking permission before moving her hands anywhere new. It was a little maddening. She held my leg so lightly that I clutched her shoulder for fear of falling. I wasn’t sure she would catch me, worried as she seemed about letting her hands wander.

“You’re getting all wet. Sorry.” I pulled the shower head to face me. She murmured that she didn't mind. It wasn’t quite hot enough, but that didn’t matter. The running water felt amazing. I zoned out for a minute, enjoying the feel of it, before picking up the body wash.

“Can you, um, open this?”

She popped the lid open, actually having to fumble for it this time. I tried to pull it back, but she didn’t let go.

“You’re bleeding,” she said decisively. “Where?”

I looked at my stitches, still intact. “I’m not bleeding.”

“Don’t lie,” she whispered tensely. “I can smell it.”

 “Yeah, I’m aware. But I’m not…” I felt my nose, looked at the bite mark. No blood. Then I looked down farther. I stuck my hand between my legs, fingers coming away pink. “Fuck.”

“I’m opening my eyes – “

“You better not!” I whisper-yelled, jerking the soap away and squeezing a glop onto my chest. She set her jaw. “It’s just my period. Great timing, huh?”

She was quiet while I scrubbed myself down with a loofah. Everything felt just as bruised as it looked. The suds on my face came away a rusty color. I scrubbed until they turned white, even though tears of pain pricked in my eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she said after a while. “That was…impolite.”

“What?” I was confused at her stiff tone.

She continued to look uncomfortable. “I would usually be able to tell the difference. But you had those transfusions and you smell different so I wasn’t sure if…”

I stared at her. She looked mortified at what she'd just said, but it was hard to tell without seeing her eyes. _Too weird,_ my brain chanted. But it was also kind of cool. In a perverse way.

“I guess that’s one thing you don’t miss about being human, huh?” I asked, trying to lather shampoo into my hair with one hand.

“Yes. Women today have it much easier, post-feminism.”

“What do you mean?”

She shrugged. “We weren’t meant to talk about it. Ever. At all. It was considered a sickness.”

“Ew, really?” I tried to recall anything I knew about that part of history, wishing I’d paid more attention in school. 1918, right? The Victorian Era. Or maybe it was Edwardian? “So you didn’t, I don’t know…throw yourselves down on chaise lounges and, like, take opiates and stuff for cramps?”

The hand around my leg spasmed as Edythe inhaled deeply, lips pursed. “That’s the funniest thing you’ve ever said.”

“Don’t laugh too hard,” I muttered, washing the soap from my hair. It was still a tangled mess, but forcing a brush through it might be easier now. “Can you reach my toothbrush from here?”

“I’m afraid I would have to open my eyes to see.”

“Never mind,” I sighed. “I’m done. Thank you.”

She shut the water off, drops glistening in her hair as she moved. I squeezed water out of my hair and wrapped the towel around myself. She let go of my leg right away.

“You can open your eyes,” I said, as she helped me to the sink.

Her placid expression faded. “They might be gone.”          

Before I could ask what that meant, her eyes opened and I didn’t have to. There was a knock at the door.

“Bells? You okay in there?”

“I’m fine,” I called back, a second too late. “Just getting dressed.”

“Are you sure you don’t need help?”

“I'm sure.”

“Your mom just called. They’re waiting on us over at Carlisle’s house.”

“Okay!”

Edythe’s deep red irises shifted over my face as Charlie’s footsteps receded. It was a startling, unnatural color. But nothing about Edythe was natural.

“They’re pretty,” I said, dumbstruck. The red eyes blinked.

“Did you just say _pretty_?”

I nodded, swallowing. She looked fucking _crazy_ , actually. In the best way possible. “What happened to the contacts?”

“They dissolved. The venom does that.”

“Oh.” I couldn’t stop staring. “Is it from…my blood?”

“Yes. I…” She paused, looking lost. “You’re not disgusted.”

“Why would I be?”

“It’s grotesque.”

“ _I’m_ grotesque,” I corrected, pointing to my own bruised face. “How long will it last? The color?”

“A few days,” she said, eyes narrowing. “You _like_ it?”

I bit my lip, trying to break myself free of the spell. “I mean, as long as it’s not some _other_ girl’s blood you’ve been drinking…”

“Bella Swan, you are an insane person.” Her eyes flickered down my damp body. “And you are _not_ grotesque.”

I brushed my teeth with a smile.

Edythe helped me pack an overnight bag before leaving through the window. I made Charlie leave the wheelchair at the house, taking the crutches instead. I had no idea what to expect when we got to the Cullens’ house, other than probably finding out what horrifying and embarrassing things Renée had been saying about me to Alice.

Almost as soon as Charlie pulled up to the drive, the front door opened, throwing a yellow block of light across the grass. I watched her run and throw her arms around Charlie, exchanging a quick word before opening my door for me.

“Bella! Oh, my baby!”

Renée at least helped me out of the car before crushing me into a hug. I put one arm around her, letting the feel and smell of my mom calm me down.

“Hey, Mom.”

“I know, I know,” she said quickly, holding me at arm’s length. It was late, and she had been on a plane for three hours, but somehow she looked amazing. Her hair was shiny and curled, red lipstick unsmudged. “It’s crazy that I came all the way here. But Charlie made it sound so _bad_. I mean, blood transfusions? You went through the _windshield_?”

“It’s okay,” I assured her.

She pulled me back into a hug. “But I can’t say I didn’t just miss you, darling.”

“Come on, Renée,” Charlie said. “It’s freezing out here.”

“You should have dried your hair before going out,” she scolded me before stepping back so I could start crutching. Her worried hands hovered over my shoulders.

“Such a good-looking family,” she said quietly, leaning toward me. “And so  _nice_. Especially that Emmett. I was hoping to see Jacob Black tonight – “

“Why’s that?” I asked, stopping. She looked at Charlie.

“Well, I thought that you were seeing each other.”

“ _Ugh!_ ” I cried, hopping up the steps on my own. Alice was there first, wrapping her arms around me and quickly stepping away. Esme hugged me next, saying she was happy to see me. When Emmett started in, I just held my hand out.

“We’ll have words,” I warned him, putting my phone into my pocket and mouthing the word _car_. He grinned and picked me up off the ground. My crutches clattered to the floor.

“I hate you,” I muttered, figuring putting up a fight was totally useless and also what he wanted.

“Oh, how nice,” Renée crooned as he sat me down next to Edythe on the couch. Her eyes were newly purple, I noticed with some disappointment. The red was cool. “Thank you, Emmett.”

“No problem,” he said, shooting finger guns at her. Rosalie and Edythe made the exact same disgusted face.

Charlie stood in the doorway awkwardly until Carlisle engaged him in a conversation about the mysterious stolen police cruiser. I wondered where that had ended up.

“You’ve been in the hospital twice in as many months,” Renée said to me, wrinkling her nose. She knew how much I hated hospitals. “When was the last time? The ballet incident?”

“Only one of them was my fault.”

“Wait, what was the ballet incident?”

I looked over at Emmett, sensing danger. I started to shake my head, but she was already talking.

“Bella used to go to this ballet studio near our house in Phoenix. All she ever talked about was being a dancer someday. Until one day, when they were practicing high kicks – “

I sank down into the couch, feeling my face heat up.

“ – And Bella, well she was so _enthusiastic._ She smacked her knee right into her nose and _broke_ it, if you can believe – ”

Rosalie laughed once, clapping her hand over her mouth to stifle it. Emmett had buried his face in his hands, shoulders shaking. Edythe simply wouldn’t look at me, lips pressed tightly together. Jasper grinned.

“Mom – “

“She wouldn’t let the doctor get near it. Do you remember when you had that ridiculous fear of people taking your blood?”

That got everyone. Renée didn’t seem to understand why they were all laughing at me, but she obviously enjoyed it. I glared at Edythe, stung by the betrayal. Even if her laughter soothed some of my anxiety. I just wished it wasn’t directed at _me_

“Anyway,” Renée said. “I hope today wasn’t as bad.”

“It was fine,” I said, staring at the floor instead of at Emmett and Jasper. “They gave me a CAT scan. That wasn’t too bad.”

She played with my hair some more, lowering her voice where no one else should have been able to hear. “Your father thinks I did a bad job teaching you how to drive.”

“He said that?” I asked, surprised.

“Maybe not in those words…”

“Well, you didn’t,” I muttered, pulling at a loose thread on my sweatshirt. “I’m just an idiot, apparently.”

“No one thinks that, sweetie. Accidents happen. It’s Edythe, right?” I cringed as she leaned up to look across me, changing her tone to something so aggressively nice it was almost accusatory.

“Yes,” Edythe said, smiling beatifically.

“I can’t thank you enough for what you did today. And Alice said so many good things about you. How did you two meet?”

Something very fast passed over Edythe’s face. A break in the smile. She glanced at me.

“We have Biology together.”

Renée ruffled my hair. “You never told me about all these friends you’ve been making. Except Jacob.”

“How’s Phil?” I asked quickly, hoping she would take the hint and shut up. It worked.

“Oh, he was so worried about you. He would have come with me, but it was sort of a rushed decision. And we could only find the one ticket.”

“I miss his pancakes,” I said, yawning. “With the cinnamon.”

“Well he misses you, too,” Renée smiled. "We both do." 

“Oh, Renée,” Esme said, perching in one of the cushiony chairs. “You were telling me about the porch renovation.”

They fell into that conversation with the kind of fervor I guessed only translated to homeowners. I watched Alice and Edythe. Alice had been strangely quiet so far, but the longer I watched the more obvious it became that there was some kind of conversation going on. She would glance up at Edythe, make some sort of facial expression, and look away. I could just see Edythe’s lips moving out of the corner of my eye. It was all silent, but I knew they were fighting.

I realized Jasper was watching, too. At least he would be able to hear what Edythe was saying. He caught me looking at him, smiled, and went back to his homework.

Comfortable without anyone talking to me, I let my blinks get heavier and heavier. Charlie left around eleven. He’d decided to help with directing traffic at the funeral now that I would be here with Mom, and he would have to be up early. She’d been incredulous and shocked at the news of two teenagers dying in an animal attack. I remembered how I’d felt only a month or so ago. When the thought of a bear scared me.

He kissed me gruffly on the forehead as he left. “Goodnight, Bells.”

“Goodnight,” I said, blinking awake and pulling my head from Edythe’s shoulder.

“See you in the morning,” Renée said after him, checking her phone. “Bella, do you need anything before I go try to sleep?”

I shook my head. “I’m fine. You go ahead.”

She fussed over me for a few more minutes before heading up the steps. I put my head back on Edythe’s hard shoulder, relieved. What I thought would be the worst part of the night hadn’t been so bad, after all.

“I like her, Bella,” Emmett said from the opposite couch, stretching his legs out onto Rosalie’s lap. “Shame you didn’t get her sense of humor – she laughed at all of my jokes.”

“She’s more polite than I am.”

Jasper said something under his breath that made Emmett and Rosalie both guffaw. Rosalie had a goofy laugh. It was instantly endearing on her perfect face. Edythe stiffened.

“Let’s go upstairs, Bella,” she said, in a tone that brooked no argument. Before I knew it, I was in her stone arms, lifted in the air.

“Wait!” I looked over her shoulder at Alice, sitting silently on the floor. She caught my eye, and nodded.

“I already know, Bella. Thank you.”

I didn’t understand why she was so sad. Sure, it didn’t seem like her human life had been the happiest, but knowing had to be better than having nothing.

She smiled weakly at me. “My last name was Brandon.”

I frowned. “I – he didn’t tell me that.”

“I heard it,” Edythe said dully. “He thought of it as he burned.”

I remembered purple flames, and being unable to discern if they were real or a product of my imagination.

“Goodnight,” Alice said. The last thing I saw was her dejected face before the air seemed to twist into the gravity and my stomach jumped into my throat.

“Too fast,” I gasped as I was sat down on something soft.

“Sorry,” Edythe muttered. “I hope you don’t mind staying in my room.”

I opened my eyes, confused. I remembered what her room looked like from when Alice had shown me around. It definitely hadn’t had a huge, four-poster bed in it. But it was the same couch against the wall, and the same shelves were crammed with books and CDs and records.

“Esme did a lot of preparing,” she explained, watching me. “Human guests. Very exciting.”

“I could have slept on the couch,” I said, feeling the soft duvet. “She didn’t have to do all this.”

“Well, it wasn’t just for you. Your mother might think it was weird if I didn’t have a bed in my room.”

“Hm,” I said. “What do you think about her?”

Edythe raised her eyebrows and ducked into the walk-in closet.

“You have to answer,” I laughed. I heard rustling fabric.    

“I used to wish you would be more open with your thoughts. Now I think I know what it would be like.”

“You used to think that?”

“I guess I still do.” She walked out in leggings and a t-shirt that hung off of one shoulder. Her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail. “You can be really withholding about things that matter.”

“Like what, exactly?”

She sighed and switched on a vintage-looking record player, gesturing to the shelves. “Do you have a preference?”

I looked at the wall of options. “Surprise me.”

She raised an eyebrow and picked out a record. I maneuvered myself back to the pillows, pulling the warm blankets over my cold legs. The music didn’t come from the small machine, like I expected. Instead, soft strains of piano seemed to seep out of the walls. I looked up at the speakers set inconspicuously around the room. It wasn’t loud or quiet, but completely saturated the space.                                                                                                            

“It’s soundproofed,” she said. The lights cut out and the mattress shifted. “To your mother, at least.”

I reached out blindly for her hand, pulling until she shifted closer to me.

“They can hear us?”

“Alice and Jasper have left. But the rest…yes.”

I took the duvet and pulled it over our heads. “And now?”

She breathed a laugh, and I felt lips against my ear. “So long as we’re very, very quiet.”

I turned my head a little bit, knowing she could see my lips move. “What’s Renée thinking about? Does she seem happy?”

“Well, I was trying not to pry,” she whispered. I felt her lips turn into a smile. “She seems like a very happy person, actually. She thinks of you, your father, her husband, her cat. It’s all very…bouncy.”

“She couldn’t have a cat before,” I said. “I’m too allergic.”

“She loves you. Two months feel like a lifetime to her.”

I frowned. That wasn’t exactly the answer I wanted. I left because I wanted her to be happier.

“She’s a lot less unnerved about us than your father is.”

“Hm?”

“He’s…wary. I don’t even think he realizes he feels that way. He’s very perceptive.”

I thought about that, listening to her breathing.

“Are you mad at Alice?”

The pause gave it away.

“What did she do wrong?”

“Nothing,” Edythe whispered. “Can’t keep her opinions to herself, is all.”

“What opinions?”

She didn’t answer.

“Now who’s being withholding?”

Silence. I would ask again tomorrow, but for now I just pulled her hand to my stomach. My sweatshirt had ridden up, and her entire body went taut as she touched my bare skin. I thought it felt nice. She was the exact temperature of the cool side of the pillow.

“Is this okay?” I asked when she didn’t unclench. Slowly, very slowly, she relaxed back into the mattress. I felt cool breath on my cheek once more.

“More than okay. You’re incredibly warm.”

I smiled as her hand moved to the bottom of my ribs, stroking the skin there. The piano swelled and fell again.

“What are you thinking?” She whispered.

“Nothing interesting, I promise.”

“I don’t believe y – “

I kissed her. She froze up again, hand freezing on my skin. I hadn’t expected her to be this skittish, but I could handle it. Her mouth was soft against mine, and cool, without any salt to the taste of the skin there. I moved my lips slowly and deliberately, waiting her out.

After a while, she started to lean into it, kissing me back with halting movements. I was so done for it was scary – everything smelled like her and every point of contact between us sent waves of electricity straight to my brain. It was extremely frustrating to not be able to move, or even lay on my side. I wanted to do things. Things that would require the use of both knees.

She must have felt the same way, because the kiss changed into something more desperate. She lifted herself on one elbow, hovering over me. Her hair tickled my face and there was a flash of cold tongue against my lower lip. At the same time, her hand skimmed down to the waistband of my shorts, pushing the fabric down to wrap her hand around my hip bone.

My body didn’t seem to know what to do. It was impossible, but there was a surge of... I had no words for it. Actually, it felt like I was about to come. All of the pain in my sore muscles evaporated. I was sure I had never been in pain my entire life, and that there had only ever been _this_.

“You need to breathe,” she whispered, pulling back. I chased her lips, but she turned her head. That was just fine with me – I went for her neck. My tongue briefly absorbed the incredibly sweet taste before she gasped and put her hand to my chest, pushing me down to the mattress with bruising force.

“Breathe,” she said, loudly. I almost couldn’t. My body didn’t want air anymore, now that it had had _her_. But she started tugging my clothes back into place, and it slowly went through to my bedraggled brain that whatever had just happened was definitely not going to continue. I dragged in breath after breath. The oxygen helped clear my head.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” She was back to whispering, but sounded kind of pissed off.

“ _Me_?” I whispered back. “What about _you_ , with…with your…”

“My what?” She asked. Did she not _know?_  I struggled for words, unable to find any, because what had she actually done? Touched my hip? Kissed me with barely any tongue? In hindsight, none of it should have had me reacting like that. But it did. I had almost orgasmed from a _kiss_. What a freak.

“I don’t know. I’m sorry.”     

She groaned. “Don’t apologize. God.”

I didn’t answer, still trying to regain some control. My heart rate was too high. After a while, she put her hand back over my hip. Even with two layers of fabric separating us, my heart started to race again.

“This has been very good for my ego,” she murmured. I wondered how well she could see my blush. “Should I go, so you can sleep?”

“No,” I said, too quickly. “No, stay.”

“Alright,” she said simply.

After a long cooldown period, I started to doze. I shouldn't have been able to, with her so close, but it had been a long day, and there were worse ways to end a night than in the arms of someone as perfect as her.

“I’m hardly perfect,” she breathed into my neck. I wondered if she had pulled it out of my head, but realized too late that I had been talking out loud. Oops.

She made a noise of amused contentment, then went very quiet. I put my hand over hers and let myself drift away on the music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My editing style has become me just rewriting things until I'm sick of looking at them :)


	15. Denouement if I do

I stretched across Carlisle’s home office couch, listlessly dangling a shoe from my toes. Answering his questions wasn’t pulling me out of my mood. If anything, it was making it worse.

_So Jacob Black pulled you away, or you chose to stop?_

“Well, he didn’t pull me back. But he was more scared than he realized. He was close to losing control. Phasing.” I was casually amused at my adoption of their terminology. “I guess I chose.”

It had been impossible. I  _knew_ I wouldn’t be able to stop. The smell of her blood didn’t bother me anymore, but having it flowing over my tongue in hot bursts was more overwhelming than I ever imagined. Even with the venom marring the taste, it was exquisite. I even forgot for a split second that Jacob was fully intent on destroying me if I didn’t stop. I would never say it out loud, but it had been Alice’s quiet disappointment that brought me out of it. As if I would let her turn. From _his_ venom.

_And you felt none of the nausea from before? You didn’t want to throw it up?_

“I _wanted_ to.” Then maybe my eyes wouldn’t be _so_ frightening. Maybe I wouldn’t felt the best I had in decades, and know it was because I’d consumed life. Leech, bloodsucker, parasite. “But no. No nausea.”  

His pen scratched against paper. Rain assaulted the windows, and the late afternoon sky was dark. Bella was at Jessica Stanley’s house, with her friends. I’d been invited, but only superficially. Jessica didn’t like me any more than I liked her. So I’d opted to stay here and decompress.

The funeral was even worse than I’d anticipated. I’d gone to less than five in the past century. My mother’s, Rosalie’s mother. Esme’s lost child – that had been just before her suicide attempt, and I’d been nothing more than a passerby. Her pain had attracted me, made me curious.

The last had been the first of my victims - a rapist-murderer. After living with Carlisle for my entire second life, I couldn’t believe I had gotten away with it. I felt strange about it, but his blood had been the best thing I'd ever tasted. And I was sure no one miss him, but I hadn’t taken into account the unconditional love of a mother.

And what had changed since then? Here I was, at another funeral. Eyes red.

Cheryl Marks’ mind had been an open, pulsing wound. I couldn’t separate myself from that kind of pain. I drowned in it. Esme had kept close, gently prodding me when my façade slipped too much. Jacob seemed to pick up on it as well, and tried his best to entertain me with his thoughts. Oddly considerate of him. He _could_ be funny, I guessed. It was just hard not to respond to his ingrained need to compete with everything I said or did.

_And you ate today, without issue?_

“Yes. Red Squirrel.” I looked over, grimacing. He smiled back. Squirrel wasn’t ideal, but winter was really setting in and there wasn’t much else nearby.

 _I’m not surprised_ , he thought to himself. _It was a mental block after all._

I looked away, shrugging. He was being nicer than Rosalie about it, anyway. I would describe it as more of a mental breakdown, one I wasn’t sure I’d ever fully recover from.

 _Don’t know of any precedent for this,_ Carlisle thought to himself _. Henri, but I wouldn’t bring it up around Yvette. Does she know?_

“Only a little,” I said, old memories drifting up. The fifties, in Paris. “It bothers her.”

 _I wonder if Aro has ever seen such a thing…_ “Just a passing thought,” he assured me as I flinched. “I would never.”

“I know,” I whispered, thinking hard. “It’s been, what? Fifteen years?”

_Thirteen since the last correspondence. Fifty-five since I was last in Italy._

He watched me carefully, taking in the hard line of my shoulders and worried eyes. My red irises reminded him of the past, only now filled him with pride instead of disappointment.

“Edythe,” Emmett called from downstairs. _Come play with me. Jasper’s MIA._

Carlisle waved me off, lost in thought. Rosalie was at the store with Esme, and Alice and Jasper had disappeared after the funeral. I didn’t blame him – he was even more effected today than I was. Alice…well, I could blame her plenty.

I sat next to Emmett on the carpet, hopping into the battle royale style game with apathy.

 _What do you have to be so sad about, hm?_ He asked with a mental nudge. I glanced over but said nothing. _Sounded like your night was pretty good._

“It was fine,” I said shortly, shooting down an opponent. “How was yours?”

 _Don’t be shy now, girlie._ He grinned, taking on an approximation of Bella’s voice. “Stay, Edythe. Sleep _next_ to me, Edythe. I _wuuuv_ you, Edy – “

I drove my fist into his stomach, causing genuine pain.

“Ow,  _fuck_ ,” he gasped, rubbing the spot. “You’re strong!” _Is that from her blood or her –_

The controller shattered to pieces in my hands. He laughed as I started punching wildly, even if it hurt. I was stronger than the rest, sure, but evidently not stronger than Emmett. I aimed for the groin, and even if it wouldn’t hurt more than anywhere else on his body, he instinctively protected it, getting me on my back and pinning my arms to my sides.

 _“Let go_ ,” I hissed, furious but unable to break his grip without destroying the floor. Esme loved the hardwood.

“You started it,” he grunted, unused to having to fight anyone's strength. “You give me no choice.”

I looked on in horror at the trail of venom hanging from his mouth, directly over my face.

“Are you _twelve?_ ” I cried. He didn’t stop. “Carlisle!”

 

***************************************

           

I got back from the funeral expecting everyone to still be asleep in my garage, or at least for Quil’s couch to still be there. I wouldn’t have minded crashing for a few hours. But it was gone. So was the TV, so I guessed he wanted to get all the furniture back before his mom freaked out. Only Embry’s rug was still there, with a very unconscious Paul lying there.

I stopped in the doorway, watching his chest rise and fall. Last night had been like old times, almost. Paul had been talkative. We hadn’t been alone, though, so there was a lot left unanswered.

The only one who hadn’t gotten a happy ending was Embry. And that was partially my fault. Paul was still and silent as I backed out of the garage, turning on my heel and crossing the yard to the back door of the house. Dad was there, sitting at the table, on the phone. He didn’t look at me as the door creaked shut.

“Thank God she’s alright. Sure. I’ll see you next weekend.” He set the phone on the cradle. “That was Charlie.”

I shrugged off the borrowed blazer and folded it over the back of a chair. When I sat down at the table to untie the dress shoes, Dad wheeled over to the other side.

His face was impassive. “He said a Cullen found her.”

I hesitated. We’d sort of left out any part of the Cullen’s involvement, just kind of implying we’d taken Bella to the hospital ourselves.

“It’s just a cover story,” I said. “I couldn’t really argue with Edythe about it. She was going to be there one way or another.”

He shook his head, mouth tight. “This can’t go on.”

I held back a snort. He had no idea how much of a lost cause that was. And honestly, I had kind of come around on Edythe. Regardless of my own opinion, she loved Bella. And Bella loved her.

“I didn’t come here to talk about that,” I said. He just looked at me, and my skin crawled. Fighting with him had been easy – having an open conversation was going to be a lot harder. “I don’t want to fight anymore.”

He sighed and sat back, folding his hands over his stomach. He didn’t have to say anything for me to know he was angry.

“I just want to know…” I looked away. “Is Embry my brother?”

“Well, it’s nice to be asked,” he said shortly. “Instead of accused.”

“Dad. The birthmark – “

“Means nothing,” he finished, unexpectedly resigned. This was the part where he'd started yelling, last time. “He’s not your brother.”

I wasn't sure what I wanted to see in his eyes.

“I don’t believe you,” I whispered. “Why don’t I believe you?”

He clenched his hands, but his eyes were sad. “If you want someone to be mad at, Jacob, then fine. But you don’t get to accuse me of that. Not that.”

“If it’s not true, then why did you freak out?”

“You were so angry,” he said, looking at his hands. “Out of control. In your heart, you really thought that I could – that I was capable of – “ He had to breathe for a minute. “I didn’t handle it like I should, I'll admit. And after that, you didn’t give me a chance to tell you the truth. Did you want me to beg?”

“No,” I muttered, feeling stupid. I didn't remember it exactly like that, but this was the first time he'd given me his side.

There was a long silence, broken only by some rain against the windows, and the wind making the house groan.

“I was serious about college,” I said. He’d been the only one who hadn’t agreed to my terms at the meeting. “I can’t sign up for this before I’ve seen something else of the world. And you didn’t have any problem with Rachel going to school.”

“She didn’t go out of spite,” he growled. My hands started to shake.

“That’s not what this is!” My voice was too loud, too angry. I forced my breathing to slow down. 

“Fine," he said, looking at me strangely. "We can talk about it later.”

I gritted my teeth.

“Are you hungry?” He asked. I nodded again. “Why don’t we go eat? The diner.”

My stomach grumbled at the thought of free food. I shrugged. “Sure.”

He turned and wheeled toward his room with a sigh. “You’d better bring Paul.”

I glanced around, confused. “How – ?”

“Boy, don’t you think I know who walks through my yard?”

Numbly, I walked back to the garage, feet sinking into the cold grass. Paul was still sound asleep. I sat next to him, crossing my legs. “Hey,” I said gently, prodding his shoulder. He jerked awake with a start.

“Fuck,” he groaned, rolling to his back. I didn’t move my hand, letting it sit on his chest. 

“Good morning to you, too. Where’s everyone?”

He blinked his eyes open slowly, clearly much more hungover than I was. “No idea.” He yawned widely, wrapping his fingers loosely around my wrist. I bit back a smile. “I was waiting for you. How was it?”

“Uh, it sucked, mostly,” I frowned. “For everyone.”

Even Edythe. She’d almost been _nice_ to me. All she said was that funerals were hard for her, but there had to be more. Her eyes didn't really focus on anything, and she didn't respond to any of my thoughts, like usual. Except for when I'd been mad at Bella for being so guilty - it didn't make sense for her to try and take all the blame. When I thought that, Edythe had agreed with me quietly, and we both watched tears stream down her face from the back row.

Paul shifted, leaning back on an elbow and reaching out for something buried in the rug. It glinted bronze when he picked it up. The bullet Emmett had pulled out of me the day before. All the guys had marveled over it last night, but now Paul looked serious.

“I can’t believe you got shot,” he said flatly. “Edythe must be pretty convincing.”

I shrugged. “Fuck the police, right?”

He chuckled and sat up, dropping the bullet back to the ground. Then his eyes turned to me, calculating.

“I’ve always wanted to do this,” he said decisively. I raised my eyebrows as he reached to pull the elastic from my hair. It fell over my shoulders, and he ran his fingers through it, smiling. “It’s soft.”

I leaned forward, kissing him as gently as I knew how. He didn’t stop touching my hair as he kissed me back, warm and sure.

“We really doing this?” I asked. He looked dazed as my next words came out in a hurried rush. “I’ll be honest, I was super pissed at you and there was some stuff I wanted to say, but none of it _matters_ anymore. I could have died yesterday – “

He kissed me hard, effectively shutting me up. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

He nodded, pulling me forward by my neck. _God,_ he was a good kisser. All tongue and teeth and strong hands in my hair. I let it go on for a while, until my stomach started to protest.

“Oh, yeah. You wanna go eat?” Me and Paul and Billy, going out to eat. If that was going to be the new normal, I guessed it could be worse. 

He thought about it. “Nah. I don’t wanna bother Sam and Emily.”

“Not them. My dad wants to take us to the diner.”

“Wait, what? You talked to him?”

I nodded.

“And?”

“And…I have no idea. I guess the fight’s over.”

“Embry?”

I threaded our fingers together, chewing my lip. “He said he didn’t do it. And I…I have to believe him, I think.”

“How mature,” Paul said, looking me up and down. I pushed his shoulder, and he pushed mine, and we were kissing again. When he was on top of me and I was starting to lose my train of thought, I pushed him off, laughing.

“He’s waiting. C’mon.”

“ _Fine_ ,” he groused, pulling me to my feet. “I guess I could eat.”

We walked to the house together. Way up in the sky, the rain was turning to snow.

 

**************************

                       

“I know you wish I was with Jacob, but I’m not,” Bella was saying, downstairs in Chief Swan’s kitchen. I paced back and forth in her room, anxious. It was a good thing, that she was telling him. It meant that my happiness was slightly more temporary. But I hadn’t expected it. “I’m actually seeing someone else.”

He was a little wary of that, but his thoughts were, as I was discovering, inaccessible to me. Partially, anyway. Not slow, like I’d always assumed. I got impressions, and images, and feelings, but it was all shadowed. He wondered if it was Mike, and even the thought of him as a possible option had me clenching my fists in rage.

“Who?”

“Edythe,” Bella said, without hesitation. Chief Swan's shock reverberated through me. There wasn’t any anger, which was good. Some disappointment.

“How – How long has this been going on?” He felt a little betrayed, actually, thinking she had kept it from him. I suspected he was more concerned that she’d told her mother before him. There was always a good amount of competition in divorced couples. But she hadn’t told her mother. I assumed she would, though, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Renée wouldn’t be very surprised

“About a day. But I’ve liked her for a long time.”

I closed my eyes, smiling. It was a long silence – Chief Swan cycled through confusion, denial, and, eventually, understanding. I already knew he liked me, from our conversation in the hospital. Being Carlisle’s daughter didn’t hurt, either. He’d come around.

“Well,” he cleared his throat. “She seems like a good girl.”

“She is,” Bella said. I could hear the smile. “She’s great.”

I swore my heart was beating, thumping unevenly in my chest the way hers was. She must know I was here already.

“I’m gonna go to bed,” she said. The chair squeaked across the tile as she got to her feet. "'Night, Dad."

“Goodnight.”

It was a long walk up the steps. She smiled weakly at me as she pushed into the room on the crutches. It hurt me not to help, but I didn’t want to be overbearing.

“I thought he needed some time to digest that,” she whispered, shutting the door. “What’s he thinking?”

“He’s not mad.” I stepped out of her way as she hopped to the dresser. “I think I made a good first impression, saving your life and all.”

Her eyes were a brilliant opal in the lamplight as she smiled at me, pulling pins from her hair.

“Can you get my zipper?”

I nodded, stepping forward to pull the zipper down to the small of her back. The black fabric was heavy with her scent. I let my fingers graze her skin, where a dark bruise marred her shoulder blade.

“Don’t,” she sighed, pulling a white shirt over her head.

“Don’t what?”

“You know,” she managed to get a pair of shorts over the cast and turned to face me, bracing a hand on my arm for balance. “The thing where you freak out because I got hurt.”

I wanted to prove her wrong, but even as she said it, I had to glance at the stitches. They seemed to be holding up, but I could see that she’d been scratching.

“I’m not freaking out.” She looked disbelieving, which irked me. “I’m not.”

“I’ll go brush my teeth,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Make yourself at home.”

I sat and pulled my leggings off. They were wet from rain, and frigidly cold. I’d tried to warm myself up at home, but the ten minute run through the snow had ruined it. I laid down, putting my head on her pillow and holding the duvet to my face, inhaling deeply.

Bella returned smelling of toothpaste and soap. I tensed, ready to help her if she needed it, but by some miracle she made it to the bed without hurting herself. I wrapped an arm around her warm middle, fitting my hand against her hip. I was very interested in that part, where curved bone jutted out above a gloriously soft thigh. She shivered, turning her head to me and smiling.

“I’m so glad you came.” Her fingers smoothed up my arm, to the elbow and back. “I felt so alone all day. No one knows what really happened."

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

Her lips twitched, and then she was turning onto her side. Attempting to, anyway. She gasped in pain as she jostled her hurt leg. The sound lanced through me like it was my own pain.

“Bella.”

“I’m fine,” she insisted, breathing deeply and shuffling closer, until her chest was pressed flush against mine. I tried to keep as still as possible as her hand smoothed up my bare leg. At her touch, my only instinct was to _take_. But I couldn’t do that. I had to be careful with her. Careful with myself, too, though that seemed like an afterthought. The road to safety diverged long ago.

“When did you stop hating me?”

“I never…” I stopped myself with chagrin. I wanted to say that I had never hated her, but that wasn’t quite true. She raised an eyebrow at me. “It’s hard to say. Maybe when you called me a crazy bitch?”

She giggled. “That made you like me _more_?”

“The more we talked, the more I realized that no one’s ever been _interesting_ to me the way you are.”

“So you only like me because you can’t read my mind?”

“Maybe.”

I heard the wet slide of her tongue against her lips. “Or is it my blood?”

“That doesn’t bother me anymore.” I could say _that_ with certainty, at least.

“Was it…” she lapsed into an infuriating silence. I tried not to be irritated, instead focusing on the rough pads of her fingers against my ribs. I hated when she did this, when I could _feel_ her thoughts spinning but she was quiet. Humans thought slower, I reminded myself as another long second passed. After the third, I really couldn’t take it.

“What?”

“Nothing,” she said. The swelling of her cheek had gone down, but it was still discolored. “Kiss me.”

Obediently, I bent forward to do just that, savoring the way her pupils dilated. Her breath caught and her hand moved to my back, pulling me closer. I appreciated how forward she was, even if I couldn’t find the same courage in myself. I wished I knew what to do, how to touch her. I tried to match the movement of my mouth to hers, even as her tongue pressed against the seam of my lips. This was okay, right? Tanya definitely did this with humans. I just had to be careful about my teeth.

I couldn’t stop the low noise in my throat as I opened my mouth to her. It was an entirely new world of flavors. I catalogued it all in an instant, but with every movement there were thousands of new sensations assaulting me. Her lips were salty, and her tongue sweet when it met mine. Not in the same way that those flavors existed for a human – just the closest comparison possible.

With an irritated noise, she grabbed my hand and pulled it up, under the hem of her shirt, pushing until my thumb brushed against a firm breast. I let it happen thoughtlessly, focused as I was on finding and memorizing the taste of every inch of her mouth. I felt the beat of her rapid pulse beneath my fingers, as well as the rise of goosebumps. My hand must have been very cold, but she didn’t seem to notice. I let it drift up, hoping that it was okay to run my fingers lightly along the underside, then over the heavy swell of flesh. She moaned into my mouth. I was vaguely aware that this was escalating a little too quickly, but that sound set something loose.

She moaned louder as I swept my thumb over her nipple, and that interested me, so I did it again. Her mouth stuttered against mine, and she made a high-pitched keening sound. I wanted to know what other sounds I could get her to make. At least she was remembering to breathe, this time.

I pushed her hip, rolling her onto her back and leaning up on one elbow. I was frustrated too, with myself. This was impossible. I wanted to lose myself in her, but there was no way to do that  _and_ maintain the level of focus required to thread a needle.

Her hand wound harmlessly into my hair, the other burning down my back and over the curve of my rear. It was a different kind of fire, but one that burned just as hot.

And was just as capable of ending me.

I really just wanted to give her – and myself – some space, but my mouth was pulled to her skin like gravity. I kissed my way across her jaw, feather-light, flicking my tongue out every now and then to get a taste. She gasped as I pressed my lips to the curve just below her jaw, exactly where the jugular vein met the posterior auricular. Almost against my better judgement, I opened my mouth and placed my tongue against the skin there. It was thin, and I could hear and feel the rushing blood just beneath the surface. I could taste it. Bella squirmed beneath me, sending waves of warmth into the air.

“Don’t stop,” she whispered when I went still. I moved my tongue lightly, but my heart wasn’t in it. This was so, so dangerous. I could bite her, as easily as I was kissing her. I didn’t _want_ to, but the fact that I was trusted so much unnerved me. Made me feel like she didn't really know what she was getting into.

Her hand started to inch toward my groin. I took it and pinned it to the pillow, panicked. Bella made a disappointed sound.

“What?” She asked, eyes glazed over. I kissed her again in apology. I wanted her to touch me. Wherever, however she wanted. I wanted to be less scared of myself. Her lips moved with growing desperation. I dipped my tongue into her mouth again, reveling in the warmth of it. That’s when she stopped breathing.

I broke it off, rolling onto my back and keeping one hand on her chest to keep her from following. It had happened last night, too. Her heart rate slowed rapidly just before she forgot to breathe. I didn’t understand it, and realized with finality that I really would have to go to Tanya. Ugh.

“Did I do something wrong?” She asked after several moments of breathing. I turned to her, shocked.

“Of course not.“ _You amaze me. You set me aflame._ “I just have to be careful.”

“What do you mean?” Her lower lip stuck out just slightly, pouting.

“We can’t be reckless, okay?” I said, hating myself. “If I forget myself, even for a _second,_  you’ll get hurt. I could try to touch your cheek, and end up shattering your jaw. You could move in the wrong way, and my teeth would go through your skin like paper.”

She was quiet for five horrible seconds. I didn't know if she looked scared or sad.

“So you’re saying we can’t ever…”

“No, we can,” I assured her, with a hint of my own desperation. “It’s just harder than I thought.”

She messed with the blankets, brow furrowed. “So it’s easier with another vampire?”

“I imagine.”

She looked over sharply. “You _imagine_?”

“Okay, I _know_ it is,” I admitted. “But only through others.”

“What?" Her eyes widened. "You mean you’ve never – “

“Never.”

She pushed herself up on her elbow, regarding me shrewdly. “Never in a _hundred_ years? You haven’t slept with _anybody_?”

“It never seemed important,” I told her honestly.

“There was no one who you liked? Who liked _you_? I find that hard to believe.”

“This is... all new to me,” I evaded. For once, she didn’t seem to notice. She groaned, falling back to her pillow.

“That’s a lot of pressure.”

“No pressure,” I corrected gently. “You’ve already exceeded my expectations.”

More quiet. I reveled in the feeling of her fingers drifting up and down my wrist, watching her watching the ceiling, clearly lost in thought. I ached to touch her again, but I didn’t trust either of us not to escalate. It was terrifying, how good I felt just knowing she wanted me.

“You taste like candy,” she said, eyes wide. “It’s so weird.”

 _I love you_ , I thought.

“You taste better,” I said instead, slipping away to switch off the lights. There was an odd, uncomfortable wetness between my legs I hadn't noticed. She went back onto her side, wrapping herself around me as I returned to the bed.

“Edythe?”

I liked the way she said my name. No one had ever said my name the way she did. Her eyes tried to find mine in the darkness, the color palette changed into lilac and teal.

“Yes?”

“What you said yesterday, about how turning and dying weren’t that different. Do you…do you not see yourself as alive?”

I stroked her cheek, letting the warmth wash over me. “No.”

“Well, I disagree.”

I smiled at that. “Explain.”

“You have thoughts and feelings, like anyone else.”

“I’m frozen in time,” I said quietly. “I don’t age, or get sick. I don’t bleed.”

“Okay, maybe you aren’t human. I’ll give you that. But you’re not dead.”

I brought her hand up to mine and kissed each knuckle, one by one. There was such a profound sadness to this love, one that I didn’t even want to think about. That was for later. Years would pass faster for me than for her, but they were years nonetheless.

“I think you’re wrong.”

She shook her head, eyes drifting shut. “You’re hot. Dead people aren’t hot.”

“You have a way with words,” I said dryly, failing to suppress the bubble of absolute happiness in my chest. Bella breathed a laugh into my shoulder, saying nothing for a while. Her heart rate was starting to slow, but I knew she wasn’t asleep. Her eyelashes brushed my skin with each blink.

I wondered if things _would_ have gone differently if I could hear her thoughts. Would I find her as compelling? She would look the same as she did now, but would I have noticed? Without the allure of her blood, would I have looked at all?

“Victoria.”

I opened my eyes, frowning.

“Where is she?”

I didn’t want to lie, but I also didn’t want to say that I didn’t know. That I had no idea about Victoria. She certainly wasn’t invested in hunting Bella, like he was. But I’d killed her mate. Even if it was a strange, lopsided bond, I couldn’t be sure she wouldn’t come back. For me, for Jacob…

“She killed Austin and Dylan. Or she was a part of it – “

“She doesn’t want you,” I said firmly. “She was weak. A pawn.”

I listened to her breathe four, five, six breaths.

“Is that what you and Alice were fighting about?”

I had to smile at her stubbornness, even if it wasn’t particularly welcomed. I didn’t plan on telling her anything when it came to this. Immortality… had been an option, for her. She seemed to be aware of that, but I was having trouble figuring out exactly how she felt. I was the one who made the decision, not her. It was an entire can of worms I wasn’t ready for.

“Fine, don’t tell me,” she huffed, nuzzling my shoulder and pulling the blankets higher.

“Sorry I’m so cold.”

“You’re fine,” she sighed, “Just fine.”

“Goodnight,” I whispered into her hair. And it was. For the next few hours, at least, I wouldn't have to leave her side. 

“You don’t have to stay here. I know it’s boring – “

I shushed her. “I’m staying. Go to sleep.”

And she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So big news - Chapter 16 will be the last chapter of this fic. I'm so lucky to have people like my work and say nice things in the comments like seriously you all rock. 
> 
> BUT its definitely not over - I fully intent on furthering this story in a sequel work. So if you're interested, go ahead and subscribe to the series so you'll see the first update.
> 
> And playlist update:  
> Shameless Eyes feat. Feist - Chilly Gonzales  
> Ophelia - Lumineers  
> This Feeling - Alabama Shakes  
> Gatekeeper - Feist  
> Weary Blues - Madeleine Peyroux
> 
> Thank you!!


End file.
